Bi Guy, Sort of

[MarcelMarcel]

Since my mid-20s I have struggled off and on with my own strange sort of bisexuality. I love women, and always have them on my mind, but I rarely (if ever) look at a guy and think that he's hot, or want to have sex with him. Yet I found myself developing a fantasy in the abstract of sucking a guy off. I fantasized about this for years and would sometimes put myself in a situation where it might happen (going to a place where gay men hung out, etc.) Yet whenever I would get approached, I would immediately get turned off, because I simply felt no bodily attraction to men. But then the fantasy would come back again and again, and one night, when, I was 32, I had a few shots of vodka, put up an ad and had a guy come over to get his cock sucked. He was a decent guy, relatively quiet, and I suspect was struggling with his own bisexual issues. We got straight to business. It was odd, suddenly being on my knees with a man's cock in my mouth. I can't say I enjoyed it, at least not the way I physically enjoy being with women. But I liked it at a psychological level, the feeling of being subservient to a man and acting as an object for his pleasure. I sucked him for a while, and when I could feel he was starting to cum, he grabbed me by the back of my head and started pumping his cock into the back of my mouth, causing me to gag a bit (which I liked), and then finally cumming in the back of my mouth. I felt a little dazed for a minute (partly from the vodka, partly from all the pumping action), but finally got up to spit his bitter-tasting sperm into the bathroom sink. Afterwards, we simply shook hands and parted. Since that day I have sucked off a couple of other guys, each time never enjoying it physically but fulfilling some rather strange psychological desire.

[slipnslide]

Maybe you need to have an encounter with a guy you have some emotional attachment to instead of just strangers. Perhaps that would provide a more fulfilling experience.

[tenni]

I don't have that same desire but I know guys and have read about guys who do have this psychological desire to be submissive to another man and take his dick in their mouth and take his cum. I don't think that there is anything "physically" pleasant about sucking dick. It isn't as if you have nerve fibres on your tongue that become a great sensation as you have on your glans...:bigrin: It seems to be mostly about being a psychological desire. If you enjoy it, go with it. Accept it. If you prefer to keep it as a fantasy enjoyment while wanking do that. Don't worry about labelling yourself. If you must label yourself, then admit the bisexual part of you but really do you care for a label or the turn on?

Post
There are a lot of men who never develop an emotional attachment to another man but enjoy sucking dick...psychologically.

[MarcelMarcel]

Thanks for the replies. Yes, I agree it would be better to not just suck off a stranger. Part of my fantasy has always been to be some guy's personal cocksucker, so that whenever he needs it he contacts me and we arrange a time. But such arrangements are very hard to put together.

[fredtyg]

I don't think that there is anything "physically" pleasant about sucking dick. It isn't as if you have nerve fibres on your tongue that become a great sensation as you have on your glans...:bigrin: It seems to be mostly about being a psychological desire.

I think you're right, although I'm not sure why I haven't thought of it that away before as I'm one of those that has the psyche thing about submitting myself to another man.

[Realist]

Well, welcome to the site, Marcel, hang around and read the previous posts and ask more questions. This is a great place to discuss your issues.

Although all of us are a little different, there will be those who will understand your feelings, perfectly. Seek out those you can relate to, but know that we have a few trolls, too, so just take what you need and ignore the rest.