straight men having sex with men

[bizel]

i had this pointed out to me and wondered if biguys, and i don't see why not bigals, can relate or is it a dose of bollocks? http://www.straightguise.com/

it may explain hubby's confusion if he has the father hunger thing. but that still doesn't explain why his sex drive for women and me has vanished. am wondering if since in the last month he's lost two dear friends to cancer, had to put our dog down (he was his buddy), and was burgled, maybe he's directing his focus onto male sex to take away all that pain???? sound reasonable????? am i grasping at straws???? i know, i know, ldd, patience, space, hang in there. i need solid answers, am going bats!! if i direct my focus to my toys, my not-all-there mother may actually notice a strange buzzing in the air, and i'm fed up single-handedly keeping several battery companies in business. i am woman! i have needs too! - tee hee.

[tenni]

This reminds me of the "g0y" movement(that's with a zero and not a capital O). Google it. It refers to men who want sex with other men except anal as wanting to call themselves "g0y. They reject "gay" and tend to separate themselves from gay men but I don't know if they comment on bisexuality. They tend to see themselves as really straight but just want close bonding with another guy. Be physically close to other men but that doesn't make them gay etc. is part of their argument. They refer to anal sex as disgusting and only want affection/ jo/oral between men not anal. So on and so on. Some gay men get really upset with such movements because the g0y writers put down men who want anal. If men are having sex with other men more than once, then they are probably not straight. I am inclined to like what the g0ys say but not the put downs for gays and anal sex. The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter. Labels should be less restrictive imo. (although I like to separate pansexuals from bisexuals....lol...go figure)

Although some of the reasons given on the mentioned site may have some validity, the bottom line is does it really matter? The death of your hubby's friends may have made him decide to explore his bisexuality but not have caused it.

[DuckiesDarling]

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10594

[bizel]

i didn't say this was the cause of him exploring. these latest tragedies happened in the last month. his wanting to explore his other side started in nov/dec - i think that's when i first came to this site. so i know it didn't cause it. just as i know when i sent him my knickers years ago (my form of being close to him by being worn against his skin) did not cause his crossdressing although he took to that like a duck to water. he has dived into having sex with men with verocity in the last month, that is why i wondered if it was a diversion from his pain. it's one thing to explore, it's another to drown yourself in it. i appreciate there is pleasure involved, but too much of a good thing is still too much. i feel he's not paying attention to the real issues.

[tenni]

Well, as to his heavy involvement with men recently, that is not too unusual when a man begins to explore same sex activity. I've been told this by gay men in particular but at the beginning of the exploration it makes sense to "over indulge". I've been told that they do calm down and become more selective...but it may take longer for some men to do this. It doesn't take much to make a guy drop his drawers at the awakening of his same sex activity. After all, the other guy isn't going to put up barriers as much as a woman. Once a guy starts he usually wants to finish and both of them just go for it.

[Long Duck Dong]

i had this pointed out to me and wondered if biguys, and i don't see why not bigals, can relate or is it a dose of bollocks? http://www.straightguise.com/

it may explain hubby's confusion if he has the father hunger thing. but that still doesn't explain why his sex drive for women and me has vanished. am wondering if since in the last month he's lost two dear friends to cancer, had to put our dog down (he was his buddy), and was burgled, maybe he's directing his focus onto male sex to take away all that pain???? sound reasonable????? am i grasping at straws???? i know, i know, ldd, patience, space, hang in there. i need solid answers, am going bats!! if i direct my focus to my toys, my not-all-there mother may actually notice a strange buzzing in the air, and i'm fed up single-handedly keeping several battery companies in business. i am woman! i have needs too! - tee hee.

think less..... lol even einstein failed to solve the mysteries of the world,

there is a aspect that can happen with loss and sudden loss that is more survival than sexual......

it is possible to assume that hubby started on a self exploration path, and events such as the loss of things that were close to him, have tiggered a response such as a sudden withdrawal.....

it is more common than the average person may think.... and it makes sense when we lose a beloved pet, that we are worried about getting another for losing loved ones hurts.....

in a person like hubby who is on a path.... the exploration of himself, coupled with the loss of others can lead to a situation like you talk about.... a distancing from those he holds close and loves......

the trouble is drawing a line in the sand and saying this is sexuality and this is triggered by loss and trauma.......

he can be using the closeness with males as a distraction or a way of coping, cos the idea of being close with you and suddenly losing you too, can blow a person to pieces mentally and emotionally....

when I lost my sister, I suffered the same thing..... she was a lifeline and a middle ground between me and the rest of the world... and losing her cut me off from the rest of the world.... rather than find another person to be the middle ground again.... I just let go and became a watcher of the world.... but no longer interested or desiring to be a part of life that can be painful.....

in normal people like your hubby, instead of withdrawing like me, he could easily go sideways.....

[void()]

Well, as to his heavy involvement with men recently, that is not too unusual when a man begins to explore same sex activity. I've been told this by gay men in particular but at the beginning of the exploration it makes sense to "over indulge". I've been told that they do calm down and become more selective...but it may take longer for some men to do this. It doesn't take much to make a guy drop his drawers at the awakening of his same sex activity. After all, the other guy isn't going to put up barriers as much as a woman. Once a guy starts he usually wants to finish and both of them just go for it.

Then along comes real freaks like me. A simple view of one woman and one man for me, for sex, for love. I was content in the third grade, primary school, to have a boyfriend and girlfriend. Presently, I'm content to have a wife and a boyfriend I consider husband. Society at large may never catch up to my particular drummer.

That's fine. Do wish they'd leave us be, though. We got no real complaints with them aside from the usual boorish every day garden variety most have. And we aren't terrorists or even remotely into abolishing global society. I personally may seek autonomous anarchy but that is in a private and individual arena. I.E. I only commit it to and of myself. Beyond that as Douglas Adams points out we're "mostly harmless".

We just get weary of society dumping it's rubbish upon us. Why must we placate the normal, when none can define normal? But then not all share this view and so, I close.