Is it possible to be in love with more than one person at a time?

[shewolf50]

There are many different kinds of love unfortunately people have a tendency to be possessive especially in a romantic relationship. But I don’t care who you are or how deeply you love someone. Eventually someone will come into your life that will also melt your heart and make your toes curl. But does that mean you will love the first person any less? Or does it mean that you’re human, and as humans we have a natural capacity to love. I don’t believe love is something we simply fall into. Love is what we are therefore isn’t it also what we do? I think all forms of love must come from the heart and must be unconditional. All too often I hear the words "I love you But" Isn’t this an oxymoron? Love is not conditional, there are no butt’s about it. Love allows, accepts and supports unconditionally. Unconditional love flows when you allow it to enter your heart and take your consciousness above the cares of daily reality and into an expanded vista of awareness. Is not love the aspect of original consciousness which holds creation together? When a person experiences true love they radiate a type of consciousness which is very different to the basic emotion. A more heart centered consciousness of the love emotion. Once started, nothing in physical reality can affect the flow of unconditional love it is something that just is regardless of the circumstances. Unconditional love is something that flows through your heart when you reach up above day-to-day consciousness. You must open your heart and just allow it. This heart-centered consciousness always sees the elegant solution to the sorrows that can arise from basic human emotions. Taking humanity yet one more step into the unfolding of a whole new reality. The truth as I see it is that the arrangement of the universe and the full harmony and tone of mankind is a mighty universal dance choreographed for the perfection and fulfillment of each participant. Are we not all a small part of the same universe and all connected? Why are some people unable to wrap their head around this even when is explained to them? Why does he have to be so damned jealous of everyone I so much as look at?

Sorry just venting thanks for reading this.

[sammie19]

Yes.:)

[lizard-lix]

Yes.:)

I agree, yes

[NakedInSeattle]

Definitely yes.

[xxxcjs]

absolutly......unfortunatly someone will always get hurt

[Realist]

There's no doubt that loving more than one person is possible. I've experienced loving more than one person on two occasions. When it works, the rewards can be fantastic.

But, as you have experienced, jealousy can ruin it. Some people are unable to control their jealousy, even if they know it's ruining things. Luckily, I have never been afflicted with that malady, but believe I'm in the minority.

[Okie1970]

Jealousy is about fear.... at least that is my take on it. He fears he will lose you, can't conceive of how you can still love him purely and others at the same time. Society, religions, media- all have conspired to program us with insecurities that keep us from growing....one of the worst is that we are to love only our family in that unconditional way. It is a shameful state that keeps us bound up via the sticky rope of fear.
I haven't finished my coffee yet.... am I making sense to you?
BTW....you expressed yourself very eloquently.

[tenni]

"But does that mean you will love the first person any less? Or does it mean that you’re human, and as humans we have a natural capacity to love."

We are raised in a monosexual culture and with that comes a lot of conditioning to love only one...to be monogamous.

I would think that if any people who might have a greater tendency to love more than one person (particularly differing genders) it would be bisexuals. There are so many on this site that refuse to expand their understanding about love outside of the monosexual culture. I agree that problems about jealousy and ownership of others are difficult to work around.

Monosexual societies tell us that we should love more than one as long as it remains non sexual. We may love both parents, all of our siblings and children but don't you dare not be monogamous in your sexual love relationships (unless the monosexual partner agrees).

[shewolf50]

Thanks everyone for your responses.

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[matutum]

I agree, yes

i'm in love with my wife and also in love with my sister.When I go out with my sister we hold hands ect,except she has her own home to go to.When wife and sister and I go out its not uncommon for me to hold both of their hands ect.When sisters husband is around we don't do any of that.thats all i'm telling

[NotLostJustWandering]

I don't have any answers to your questions, just more questions of my own.

By unconditional love, do you mean that you love regardless of whatever the other may do, including not love you in return?

Is this the love a parent feels for his or her child?

Is being in love really the same thing?

I have felt, at times, the most intense love, a love without object, no "love of" "love for" "in love with", just love. It is like having the brightest sun burning inside you, shedding light in all directions. This is, I think, the agape so many spiritual adepts speak of. But I have only felt it in passing moments.

I have friends I would say I love unconditionally. I know that I will love them no matter how how life may change them, no matter what they do.

I have many times had the intoxicating experience called "being in love". It has taken many forms, has never been exactly the same experience with any two people. Unlike unconditional love, it is full of longing, and when unrequited is torture, and can even sour into something more like hatred. In the context of a long-term relationship, I find it mellows into something warm but no longer burning, easier to live with.

I have never been in love with two people at the same time, though I'd like to think myself capable of it.

I have never had children and can only imagine what that love is like.

[Long Duck Dong]

yeah atiq, I would have to agree ..... I have felt love on many different levels for people... some as family, some as * family, * some as partners and close dear friends... etc

I don't have a set * partner love * where I love a partner differently to other people cos the love is not something I can *tweak *....

I have found that the lust type love is something that is like a flame in the fire, compared to love for a person......

what I have noticed amongst people is the understanding that in order to love multiple people, you can not be monogamous.... and thats like saying you can not love a person unless you are having sex with them......

love is not sex, and sex is not love, you can make love having sex, but if love is sexually motived, god help people who can not use or afford viagra....

[ohbimale]

I agree with the original post. It is phrased so well, I could not have said it better.

Blessings.

[NW6942]

Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. Its shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship. The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity.

It is knowing someones deepest and darkest secerets and being ok with it. It is unconditional, and jeliousy is masked behind the shoud of insecurity.

[shewolf50]

NotLostJustWandering

“By unconditional love, do you mean that you love regardless of whatever the other may do, including not love you in return?”

There is only one way for me to answer that I have to say “yes” and including someone who does not love me in return. I can only speak for myself in that I chose to love and that love for me cannot be conditional. It’s not an easy thing to explain. But I don’t use hate I have hate we all do but whatever hate I have I keep suppressed! “I chose love” Though there are many different kinds of love like the love a parent feels for their child or the kind a child feels for a parent or for a friend or a romantic love etc……. And yes there are different degrees of love. The range of your love can be as small or as large as you chose it to be. Okay for instance; I have never met you but I love you because we are both part of humanity and thus connected. That is what I conceder to be a generic type of love. Just for example let’s put that at a 1 on my scale and let’s say the other end of the scale being the intense love you described as “having the brightest sun burning inside you, shedding light in all directions” I’ll put that at 100. So basically what I’m saying is that if I love someone romantically at let’s say an 80. Then meet someone else and find myself attracted to them romantically. That in and of its self does not change the 80 that I have for lover #1. Only he can change that by his actions towards me. Does that make sense?

“I have never had children and can only imagine what that love is like.”

I have 5 and 4 grandchildren um…. wow um…..sorry for me mere words cannot describe it.


Long Duck Dong
“love is not sex, and sex is not love, you can make love having sex, but if love is sexually motived,”

I have to agree I would much rather make love than to simply have sex. It may be with someone wherein the energies and the chemistry lines up and it’s a lustful encounter but with me there is always a degree of love in the mix!

[void()]

Personal experience guides me to believe it is possible to love more than one person at a time, simultaneously. From my view I love each person respectively. That is I love both equally but differently in accord of individual need/s. And I love both without conditions. They are who they are and I've no desire to change either one of them, it is why I love them, in fact. But then many would say I'm a class A weirdo. No worries. :)

[Pasadenacpl2]

I have had many loves. Sometimes they have been at the same time.

I love my wife wholly and completely. I cannot imagine waking up and not having her in my life. My life would have significantly less meaning to it. I also love my girlfriend wholly and completely. They are different kinds of love, and they feel different. But, one does not take away from the other. In fact, I say they enhance each other.

Pasa

[shewolf50]

I have had many loves. Sometimes they have been at the same time.

I love my wife wholly and completely. I cannot imagine waking up and not having her in my life. My life would have significantly less meaning to it. I also love my girlfriend wholly and completely. They are different kinds of love, and they feel different. But, one does not take away from the other. In fact, I say they enhance each other.

Pasa

Thank you, that's exactly what I'm talking about one does not take away from the other.

[bubbly]

This is a painful subject for me. Recently I have been having to deal with this exact topic and it hasn't been easy. I have only deeply loved one person (my hubby), I've felt passion for others that at one point I thought was love..but was definitely wrong (up until last year the only experience I had with men was my hubby). I know for me that it will always be this way.

For my hubby (Pasa) this is not so. He has a gf that he loves. In some ways we have been closer since we no longer have secrets. For most of our marriage, he cheated on me. It was more of a "what she don't know, don't hurt her" and I was content letting it be that way. He has always had another woman in his life, I just lived in denial (depression can really fuck things up).

I cannot understand how one person cannot be enough (maybe some of it is a bit of ego), but I know that for some it is not. Even with the honesty and the permission to find "fuck buddies" I still feel that he is cheating on me because his relationship became emotional. Truthfully, at first I thought he was being a typical selfish pig...hell what man doesn't want two women in his bed? We have had serious trust issues (duh!), but I know him well enough to know that he isn't doing this for selfish reasons.

Right now..I do not like the situation we are in. I guess in some ways I'm still a bit old fashioned...a marriage is between one man and one woman, til death do us part...yada yada.... We are trying to adjust. I have accepted that she is in his life. I have finally realized that her presence has nothing to do with me. We are trying to find a way to make things work. Pasa has been really patient with me (even though I know I frustrate the hell outta him). For many years, at any given point one of us wanted out of the marriage...now when we are at what I think is the worst bump in our road, it seems like neither one of us is ready to let go.

[Pasadenacpl2]

I am astounded. Bubbly is a mono wired person, and I have asked her to accept that I am poly. And she claims I've been patient with her? Bubbly is so strong, even though she claims to be otherwise. She has had to accept crossdressing, bi, and poly in a man who 22 years ago promised to be straight and in a traditional marriage. And why? Because she is far more faithful to what is important than I can ever hope to be. I am, very often, in awe of her.

Everything she said is dead on. And I love her deeply for her strength and for her unyeilding dedication.

Pasa

[Maggot]

Yes, I believe it is possible to be in love with more than one person. There are a number of people that I love on different levels, family and friends. There are three that I am in love with - it is subtly and profoundly different from the love I feel for the rest, and I cannot begin to explain why I love these three.