Coming out to your doctor...

[Cathy38c]

Has anyone feared coming out to their family doctor? My doctor knows that I prefer to wear bra and panties. The last couple visits, dealing with ED, and my low testosterone, and lack of libido, has prompted him to ask if look at porn, or have I been tested for HIV. I tell him no, that I haven't had any sexual contact in several years, and that I only masturbate . Truth is I have had oral contact in the past year. Can a doctor, or his medical PC drop someone, if they admit to being Gay or Bi?

[slipnslide]

No clue about whether they can or not.

But, the cross-dressing, the lack of libido, the lying . . .maybe you should be talking to a therapist and not just your MD.

[slipnslide]

Don't take what I'm saying the wrong way. I'm not saying the cross-dressing is something a therapist should fix or anything like that. You presented the "bra and panties" and your sexuality as secrets to be revealed - and you asked us when is the right time and to who.

I'm suggesting the therapist might help you address these "secrets" as simply parts of yourself, and if some doctor doesn't like it, you find another doctor who is more concerned about your health than individual traits related to your sexuality.

The ED could be psychological, but I believe it can also be an early sign of heart disease. You shouldn't be worrying about "what do I tell who when?". Instead you should be focused on any underlying medical issues that are causing your symptoms.

[pepperjack]

Has anyone feared coming out to their family doctor? My doctor knows that I prefer to wear bra and panties. The last couple visits, dealing with ED, and my low testosterone, and lack of libido, has prompted him to ask if look at porn, or have I been tested for HIV. I tell him no, that I haven't had any sexual contact in several years, and that I only masturbate . Truth is I have had oral contact in the past year. Can a doctor, or his medical PC drop someone, if they admit to being Gay or Bi?

Last time I saw my doctor ( been quite awhile now ) I tuned in to definite sexual vibes coming from him... call it gaydar, bidar , intuition, whatever. He's a good-looking younger man than me. Had to strip down for an exam; when he finally came in, he gave me a very approving once-over then proceeded on his professional way. During the follow-up visit, I was sprawled on an exam gurney when he pressed his cock against my hand & kept the pressure there for most of the exam. Medical problem was resolved but my horniness for him lingered for some time.:bigrin:

[DuckiesDarling]

Hi Cathy, you might want to read this article Search for Bi Competent Health Care (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2241)

Personally, I believe you need to discuss everything with your doctor, some symptoms may be for various ills and not knowing everything for your medical history will make it harder to accurately treat you. Doctors take an oath to provide care and they have pretty much seen it all and heard it all. So take a deep breath and then write down a list of things to discuss with your doctor. Does he need the nitty gritty details? No, not unless it directly affects your medical care, but he does need to know that you are having some oral sex.

good luck.

[elian]

Last time I saw my doctor ( been quite awhile now ) I tuned in to definite sexual vibes coming from him... call it gaydar, bidar , intuition, whatever. He's a good-looking younger man than me. Had to strip down for an exam; when he finally came in, he gave me a very approving once-over then proceeded on his professional way. During the follow-up visit, I was sprawled on an exam gurney when he pressed his cock against my hand & kept the pressure there for most of the exam. Medical problem was resolved but my horniness for him lingered for some time.:bigrin:

You have such an interesting life Pepperjack, I've never had my doctor let ME give HIM a hernia exam.. of course, my doctor is female, she replaced my previous doc who retired and I've only seen her once so far but she seems pretty smart.

A friend of mine decided to go into one of those 24 hour walk-in outpatient care clinics and he really likes the doctor they hooked him up with. As part of the intake interview they DID ask if he was gay and he was honest with them. It doesn't appear to have affected his treatment and the staff still treats him well. Of course he is retired so he figured he didn't have anything to lose by being honest.

I would have to think that with all of your symptoms your doctor must at least suspect that you are into an alternate lifestyle. That is probably why he asked about your sexual history and suggested that you get tested. According to what I've just learned on a radio program featuring an attorney and some big-wheel director of something at one of the local hospitals, here in PA if you are found to be HIV positive they must keep the result confidential if you say so but I'm not sure about the law in general or in other states.

It's a shame because your health should be more important than the potential stigma but I understand your concern - good jobs are hard to find these days.

[Katja]

Very few doctors will cast u off as patient because of sexuality. It is illegal in this country and even if sexuality was a disease as some claim, the hypocratic oath should prevent this. Most doctors are educated people and the more educated people there are the less prejudice exists. Some however will have their prejudice and will find any reason they can to cast patients into the wilderness.

[pepperjack]

You have such an interesting life Pepperjack, I've never had my doctor let ME give HIM a hernia exam.. of course, my doctor is female, she replaced my previous doc who retired and I've only seen her once so far but she seems pretty smart.

A friend of mine decided to go into one of those 24 hour walk-in outpatient care clinics and he really likes the doctor they hooked him up with. As part of the intake interview they DID ask if he was gay and he was honest with them. It doesn't appear to have affected his treatment and the staff still treats him well. Of course he is retired so he figured he didn't have anything to lose by being honest.

I would have to think that with all of your symptoms your doctor must at least suspect that you are into an alternate lifestyle. That is probably why he asked about your sexual history and suggested that you get tested. According to what I've just learned on a radio program featuring an attorney and some big-wheel director of something at one of the local hospitals, here in PA if you are found to be HIV positive they must keep the result confidential if you say so but I'm not sure about the law in general or in other states.

It's a shame because your health should be more important than the potential stigma but I understand your concern - good jobs are hard to find these days.

What are you talking about?:confused:I think you got me confused with the OP. I was merely sharing an anecdote that came to mind when reading this thread. My medical problem was work related and as I said, resolved. But thanks for the compliment anyway; I see my life as mundane and kind of dull but I do have my interesting high points.:bigrin:

[elian]

"I was sprawled on an exam gurney when he pressed his cock against my hand & kept the pressure there for most of the exam."

Well, that sounds more exciting than MY last visit to the doctor anyway..

[Darkside2009]

Has anyone feared coming out to their family doctor? My doctor knows that I prefer to wear bra and panties. The last couple visits, dealing with ED, and my low testosterone, and lack of libido, has prompted him to ask if look at porn, or have I been tested for HIV. I tell him no, that I haven't had any sexual contact in several years, and that I only masturbate . Truth is I have had oral contact in the past year. Can a doctor, or his medical PC drop someone, if they admit to being Gay or Bi?

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The ED could be either physical or psychological. If physical it can be caused by that arteries supplying blood to the penis becoming constricted. This is a frequent enough cause in men over forty and can be helped by medication.

It should not be ignored as it can provide an early indication of the same constrictions happening in the arteries that supply the heart.

In asking if you look at porn I think your doctor is trying to find out if you get physically aroused when visual stimulus is available, which might aid him or her in deciding if the symptoms have a physical or psychological cause.

Your doctor is not there to judge you, merely to interpret the symptoms you present yourself with, to prescribe medication or treatment based on his or her assessment, to help you back to full health.

You should always tell your doctor the truth, as it will affect the interpretation of your symptoms. You will not be kicked off his or her list of patients merely because you are homosexual or bisexual, you are not the first such person they will have met.

I hope you feel better soon. :)