Lesbians and Gay Men Who Won't Date Bisexuals

[dbbk101]

I'm making a video for YouTube on the above topic, as I think a lot of us face it. Gay people don't like dating bisexuals for various unreasonable excuses.

Care to share your experience if you have any?

Video style will be dependent on response, but you will receive any credit you rightfully deserve (unless you'd prefer to remain anonymous).

Thanks!

[Long Duck Dong]

SOME gay people do not like dating bisexual people for various reasons.... and a lot of them are reasonable people with valid reasons why dating a bisexual person, doesn't work for them.....

sounds like you wanna create a youtube vid bashing gay people for having a right of choice about who they date.......

[Realist]

I've had 3 gay male lovers. They all understood, in the beginning, that I was bisexual and that fact was in concrete.

Only one couldn't accept my bisexuality. When I met a lady, (My present GF) even though he knew I was bisexual and had sworn he was OK with it, jealousy ruled! When I told him I'd met her and we were going to date, he couldn't stand it and gave me an ultimatum..."Her, or Me!"

She's now number one in my life! I don't do ultimatums well.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

The same thing can be said for straight people.

[*pan*]

I'm making a video for YouTube on the above topic, as I think a lot of us face it. Gay people don't like dating bisexuals for various unreasonable excuses.

Care to share your experience if you have any?

Video style will be dependent on response, but you will receive any credit you rightfully deserve (unless you'd prefer to remain anonymous).

Thanks!

hmmm, how are you going to go about it. choice is personal as to who one will have sex with or date. as for the gay - lesbian community and some of it's people not dateing bisexuals one has to look into their motives, it's usually more prevelient in lesbians to hate the male aspect. while in gay men i have gay men friends who treat woman like anyone else and are friends with them yet they don't want to have sex or date them. i'm shur it can also be said of some lesbian woman. then there are the ones who hate woman even being around for whatever reason.
this hatred or bias is not seen in bisexuals so there's no common ground between them, as bisexuals can love and date either sex. this can not be said of hetrosexuals either, to me bisexuality is the natural way of life. to not hate anyone for their sexual orientation. hate is not good no matter what reason or excuse is used. in life we try to justify our biases with excuses, and the so called communities give them support and common ground for their hatreds and biases. a person who is bias because of orientation is no less a bigot then one who is biased for race, they just have different excuses. just as people who hate for race have support from others who have common hates they are no different, that could be called a community also of bigots, which can include gays, lesbians and hetrosexuals - lets not froget them as were looking for biases and hatetreds. i don't even like the title of bisexual community. this lumps all bisexuals into one group and hence the members look for common ground to voice upon there dislikes and likes. i for one am a open minded free thinking individual and have no need to rally against any other group or individual. i am me. i do not roll with the community. for i believe that "what is popular is not always right and what is right is not always popular". and hence the problem within society and politics. doing what is popular seems to be all the rage, better then doing what is right. like sheep they follow whats popular instead of whats right in their hearts. one could say who am i to say they are wrong, only my common sense and knowledge of history and expirence, love for my fellow man and knowing human nature keep me from running with the sheep. it seems common sense is lost here as it is in many other topics and aspects of society. too bad they do not teach common sense, lol :tong::bipride:

p.s. sorry to get off topic but it seems the reasons are a bias against bisexuals and it is a personal one just like hateing a race was personal at one time and still is and untill we grow up and stop hating we will forever live in the dark as out ancestors did.

[Gearbox]

I dated a gay bloke for a whole 6 weeks, until his jealousy and paranoia finally exploded and he dumped me.
He had some pretty bizarre notions about bisexuality. Once he accused me of being straight! I wouldn't mind, but I had my cock up his ass at the time!:rolleyes: He got off on his 'being fucked by a straight bloke' fantasy, but couldn't handle the emotional side of it. We're ok to fuck, but not so ok to get emotionally attached to! We are likely to cheat, as if gays and straights NEVER do that.:rolleyes:

Being gay/straight and dating a bi, isn't good for the insecure, jealous and possessive IMO. I think it aggravates those negative emotions simply by the fact that he/she is sexually attracted to their opposite gender. No matter how 'hot' you are, he/she would love to fuck something completely out of your league and ability.
THAT is nothing to worry about for many bi's who see sex as just sex, and nothing to do with who they love etc. But not so for others.

I'm currently debating with a gay to date. He's more than a bit cautious about it.lol We've had sex, and for a few days afterwards he asked several times if he satisfied me.(if you were there, you'd have no doubt about that!lol). He asked if he was good enough to stop me being attracted to women.:eek:
He could outmatch another bloke, but not a woman. As if he needs to compete, or I need to pick a side.
(still explaining what kind of bi I am, as he didn't know there are kinds.lol).

[drugstore cowboy]

SOME gay people do not like dating bisexual people for various reasons.... and a lot of them are reasonable people with valid reasons why dating a bisexual person, doesn't work for them.....

sounds like you wanna create a youtube vid bashing gay people for having a right of choice about who they date.......

I've dated and had partnerships with a fair amount of gay men.

There's no valid reason at all why a relationship between a gay man and a bisexual man, or a lesbian and a bisexual woman can't work.

To think otherwise or that there are somehow valid reasons for gay men and lesbian women to only date and have relationships with "their own kind" reeks of biphobia, bigotry, and discrimination.

No it does not sound as though the woman who wants to make a youtube video about biphobia and biphobic reasons why gay men and lesbians don't want to date bisexuals wants to bash gay men or lesbians.

Why is it that when gay people find language offensive or something else homophobic, everyone is expected to listen? But if bi people speak up, they're told to move on?

[Long Duck Dong]

I was making the point that not all gay people are making unreasonable reasons for not dating bisexual people...........the bisexual person may not be the gay persons type, and that is not unreasonable at all......

I do enjoy the way that you are quick to drag biphobia and biphobic reasoning into the situation and apply it to what I said to make your statement more valid..... when I was simply acknowledging that not all gay people think the same way about bisexual people..... as proven by your own statement....

[darkeyes]

I was making the point that not all gay people are making unreasonable reasons for not dating bisexual people...........the bisexual person may not be the gay persons type, and that is not unreasonable at all......

I do enjoy the way that you are quick to drag biphobia and biphobic reasoning into the situation and apply it to what I said to make your statement more valid..... when I was simply acknowledging that not all gay people think the same way about bisexual people..... as proven by your own statement....

I agree with u here Duckie... but people should consider this... I know and have known bisexual women who will not date certain kinds of gay or bisexual women.. butch women for instance (and when I was bisexual I never did.. and even now still do not find them attractive except in the very rarest instances).. some bisexual women will not sleep with bisexual men... and vice versa... some is prejudice some taste.. although even discernment and taste are a form of prejudice.. as is deciding upon what is a person's "type".. I never fancied red haired men when I was bisexual or a freckled man (which many red haired men (and women) are) or circumcised men.. it was a matter of taste.. and our taste is a matter of prejudice... the question is what kind of prejudice is it and why do we have it? Is Sammie19's dislike of over 40s men a bigoted prejudice or just a taste prejudice? Is my partner's dislike of tall statuesque (which really gets me hot btw doesnt it Mars... tee hee) women prejudice or taste? Is my brother's taste in women... slightly cuddly, a bit bohemian, bossy but naturally blonde, prejudice or taste? Both I argue.. but the question is not whether it is prejudice.. it is why the prejudice...????

Very complex issue... much more than we realise... and there is no easy answer...

[Long Duck Dong]

is it prejudice or personal choice.... one persons choice, is another persons prejudice........

a persons need to call it prejudice, devalues a persons personal feelings and choices, and turns them into a issue.....

[darkeyes]

is it prejudice or personal choice.... one persons choice, is another persons prejudice........

a persons need to call it prejudice, devalues a persons personal feelings and choices, and turns them into a issue.....

I dont need to call it prejudice.. choice is preference.. we choose in accord with preference.. what we prefer or dislike is but a form of prejudice.... it is why we have that prejudice which is important not whether or not we have it...because we all do.. but most of us call it taste or preference... but often it is nasty, seedy and very iffy indeed and comes from our most base instincts or is learned at mummy or daddy's knee......

[Long Duck Dong]

I dont need to call it prejudice.. choice is preference.. we choose in accord with preference.. what we prefer or dislike is but a form of prejudice.... it is why we have that prejudice which is important not whether or not we have it...because we all do.. but most of us call it taste or preference... but often it is nasty, seedy and very iffy indeed and comes from our most base instincts or is learned at mummy or daddy's knee......

that may be correct, but it gives the impression that sammie is prejudiced against 40 year + people.. that would be prejudice and a aspect of discrimination...... is sammie like that ? or is she a person that chooses to have partners under a certain age, and still enjoys the friendship of older people ?

depending on what way you word something, you can give a false impression about somebody that is incorrect and untrue........

I can say that you are prejudiced against the military... and that can give the impression that you have a issue with people that have served, which is....... I want to say incorrect, but I have seen you call soldiers, terrorists in the forum...... but for the sake of my example, I will say its incorrect, as you have a difference of opinion with aspects of the military such as war, and SOME military personnel that act in a manner that is unacceptable......

its in the same way that I am not prejudiced in regards to protestors, I have issues with the issues and problems they create in the name of free speech and rights to protest...... IE, I can stand on a street corner and protest, or be the the auckland occupy movement that has cost over 1.3 million dollars ( including 500K damage to parks ) and accomplished nothing.... other than to affect others rights to use the park too......

the word prejudice is a dangerous word to use in regards to any other person other than ourselves as only we can state how our own prejudice works and under what circumstances

[pepperjack]

I dated a gay bloke for a whole 6 weeks, until his jealousy and paranoia finally exploded and he dumped me.
He had some pretty bizarre notions about bisexuality. Once he accused me of being straight! I wouldn't mind, but I had my cock up his ass at the time!:rolleyes: He got off on his 'being fucked by a straight bloke' fantasy, but couldn't handle the emotional side of it. We're ok to fuck, but not so ok to get emotionally attached to! We are likely to cheat, as if gays and straights NEVER do that.:rolleyes:

Being gay/straight and dating a bi, isn't good for the insecure, jealous and possessive IMO. I think it aggravates those negative emotions simply by the fact that he/she is sexually attracted to their opposite gender. No matter how 'hot' you are, he/she would love to fuck something completely out of your league and ability.
THAT is nothing to worry about for many bi's who see sex as just sex, and nothing to do with who they love etc. But not so for others.

I'm currently debating with a gay to date. He's more than a bit cautious about it.lol We've had sex, and for a few days afterwards he asked several times if he satisfied me.(if you were there, you'd have no doubt about that!lol). He asked if he was good enough to stop me being attracted to women.:eek:
He could outmatch another bloke, but not a woman. As if he needs to compete, or I need to pick a side.
(still explaining what kind of bi I am, as he didn't know there are kinds.lol).

Can I ever relate to this! Hooked up w/a/guy on another site once who advertised himself as bi. After several times together he finally admitted to me he was actually gay & really didn't like bi men because "they don't really know what they want." How do you suppose that made me feel, knowing how much pleasure he had with me? And throughout that time, he was constantly pissing & moaning about his former lover ( a pastor) who had cheated on him repeatedly. So, we abruptly parted but then I recognized him on other sites I joined afterwards and on each one he approached me,not realizing who I was; on one I revealed myself and he was gung-ho for more but it didn't pan out because of his deceit. On the last site, I blocked him immediately after his response to my profile; must have messed w/his mind, trying to understand why. "What a tangled web we weave..." :cool:

[tenni]

I was once involved briefly with a rather unique gay man who practiced tantric massage. I did have sex with him and it was unusual as he kept breathing loudly that kind of interrupted my idea about sex. Still, I thought that it was worth a try. Now, I don't know if it was because he was gay, an individualist (tantric massage?) or some other factor but his perception of a relationship of any kind seemed a bit "over reactive". He was talking to me about how he had gone to meet a guy in another city. I can not recall the details but he ran into conflict with the fellow. He had travelled some distance to meet the other guy. He professed loving the guy after one meeting and started to talk about how he was going to move in with the guy. I couldn't obviously see that "we" had a relationship but I thought that I'd be friendly. I tried to warn him that he seemed to be over reacting and falling in love with a guy. He had told me stories about guys abusing him and taking advantage of him previously. When I tried to reason with him, he flew off the handle and began screaming at me about how I didn't understand love between men etc. because I was bisexual. There was no reasoning with him. Suffice to say the conversation was the last one that I had with him.


As far as the OP's project, I do wonder if you simply asked people to relate their experiences as a bisexual with gay/lesbians it might appear less "biased". I don't know how you intend to present a youtube video but it might be better to approach this as a documentary with at least the facade of not having a forgone conclusion?

I find the second post sensationalized biphobia. Can't we get a little bi love on a bisexual site?:bigrin:.

[Long Duck Dong]

I find the second post sensationalized biphobia.

so biphobia is when a person supports others rights to make choices about their partners and sees the rights of gay people to make relationship choices, as reasonable.......

guess we need to update the dictionaries to include a lack of interest in dating bisexual people as biphobia......

[pepperjack]

so biphobia is when a person supports others rights to make choices about their partners and sees the rights of gay people to make relationship choices, as reasonable.......

guess we need to update the dictionaries to include a lack of interest in dating bisexual people as biphobia......

Or maybe just sexual apathy in general, all things considered?:bigrin:

[Long Duck Dong]

lol......I wonder if we can make it a infringement of human rights, not to be dated by gay people :tong::tong::tong:

[tenni]

Biphobia is a term used to describe aversion felt toward bisexuality and bisexuals as a social group or as individuals.

When a poster attacks the premise of bisexuals having difficulty with gays and lesbians refusing to date or be negative towards bisexuals, they are showing an aversion towards bisexuals on a bisexual site. When a poster waits less than an hour from the original post to be the first response and attack the OP 's premise the poster is showing an aversion to bisexuals as a social group and alter the discussion to control the discussion of the issues ...imo.

If a poster dislikes the thread's premise just don't read or post on that thread instead of trying to divert the premise of the thread.

It doesn't matter whether the attacker claims to be bisexual the poster may still be biphobic imo.

[Long Duck Dong]

Biphobia is a term used to describe aversion felt toward bisexuality and bisexuals as a social group or as individuals.

When a poster attacks the premise of bisexuals having difficulty with gays and lesbians refusing to date or be negative towards bisexuals, they are showing an aversion towards bisexuals on a bisexual site. When a poster waits less than an hour from the original post to be the first response and attack the OP 's premise the poster is showing an aversion to bisexuals as a social group and alter the discussion to control the discussion of the issues ...imo.

If a poster dislikes the thread's premise just don't read or post on that thread instead of trying to divert the premise of the thread.

It doesn't matter whether the attacker claims to be bisexual the poster may still be biphobic imo.

homophobia is the aversion felt towards gay / lesbian people.... which is in the first post, by one of a complete labeling of gay / lesbian people as people that are unreasonable people when it comes to dating bisexuals.......

I guess you missed that part in your rush to label my defending peoples rights to date whom they were comfortable with, as biphobic, when my remarks referred to some gay people and how their choice of dates was reasonable.......and that leads me to believe that you are fine with homophobia as it doesn't affect you......

strange how there is one set of rules applied to bisexuals but a totally different set applied to gay / lesbian people........ yet its the same thing, that phobia..... unless you are applying that bisexuals are some type of * elite * sexuality and so most be treated differently to every other people in the world

[darkeyes]

I find the second post sensationalized biphobia. Can't we get a little bi love on a bisexual site?:bigrin:.

Methinks u and I have quite a different view on what constitutes biphobia..and what constitutes sensationalism... if there is a phobia, it exists in the OP's mind that he feels the need to make a vid and post it on utube.. we all know there are some gay and lesbian people who are biphobic, but equally there are some bisexual people who are gayphobic... you me luffly are Duckiephobic, as he is tenniphobic but we cant legislate for personal dislike however much we would like to.. bi love? How about just a little love?

[tenni]

darkeyes
"gayphobic"? Do you not mean homophobic?

This entire thread's intention by the OP is about biphobia.

if you have a different definition of biphobia then submit it to wikipedia or other places.

The fact that you and the post 2 wish to hijack the thread and turn it around to bisexuals who are homophobic is interesting and possibly about an attempt to create bierasure of bisexual issues. For the first response about the OP's topic on biphobia to be a dismissal of the issue is sad and manipulative.

Sorry, but as a lesbian doesn't that reek of poor taste on a bisexual site for you to act this way? Let the bisexuals discuss their experiences with biphobia and start your own thread about homophobia by bisexuals.

I have no intention of continuing to distract this thread from its intention and if you wish to let bisexuals discuss biphobia you and the poster should let it be. This is my last statement.

[Gearbox]

homophobia is the aversion felt towards gay / lesbian people.... which is in the first post, by one of a complete labeling of gay / lesbian people as people that are unreasonable people when it comes to dating bisexuals.......

I guess you missed that part in your rush to label my defending peoples rights to date whom they were comfortable with, as biphobic, when my remarks referred to some gay people and how their choice of dates was reasonable.......and that leads me to believe that you are fine with homophobia as it doesn't affect you......

strange how there is one set of rules applied to bisexuals but a totally different set applied to gay / lesbian people........ yet its the same thing, that phobia..... unless you are applying that bisexuals are some type of * elite * sexuality and so most be treated differently to every other people in the world
The first post is about gays&lesbians who don't like dating bisexuals for various unreasonable excuses.
Now instead of just acknowledging that some (not all) gays&lesbians DO have qualms about dating bisexuals, you rush to defend their right to have those qualms, accuse the OP of being homophobic/gay basher, and end up claiming that there are different sets of rules for bi's.

Why not just admit your list of reasonable excuses for gays&lesbians to not date bisexuals, so we can all learn from it. As that is the OP's reason for the thread IMO.
Or do you believe that bisexuals are not allowed to criticise others of a different sexuality even when their being discriminated against?
That's what it sounds like!:eek:

We all know that bi's have a bad name. Not many don't come up against crap from gays/lesbians/straights. But we still want to date them.:)
So why (in your words) don't they want to date us?

[Long Duck Dong]

The first post is about gays&lesbians who don't like dating bisexuals for various unreasonable excuses.
Now instead of just acknowledging that some (not all) gays&lesbians DO have qualms about dating bisexuals, you rush to defend their right to have those qualms, accuse the OP of being homophobic/gay basher, and end up claiming that there are different sets of rules for bi's.

Why not just admit your list of reasonable excuses for gays&lesbians to not date bisexuals, so we can all learn from it. As that is the OP's reason for the thread IMO.
Or do you believe that bisexuals are not allowed to criticise others of a different sexuality even when their being discriminated against?
That's what it sounds like!:eek:

We all know that bi's have a bad name. Not many don't come up against crap from gays/lesbians/straights. But we still want to date them.:)
So why (in your words) don't they want to date us?

they are not interested in a open relationship.....
the person is not their type....
they perfer gay / lesbian partners.....
they already have a suitable situation in their lives.....
they have had bad experiences with bisexual partners in the part.....
they do not agree with some bisexuals ideals.....
they want to express their freedom of choice in who they date ( in the same way we do )
they are not comfortable with a bisexual partner......
they are not able to reconcile the idea of being with a partner that enjoys the opposite gender......

I fully support the rights of ANY sexuality to choose their partners, including bisexuals, but I am not about to brush all people of a sexuality with the same brush, or make statements without support ( ie the lack of unreasonable reasons in the OP's post )

if that makes me a phobic person, then it makes me a phobic person, but it makes any person that is supportive of peoples rights of choice in regards of partners, phobic, doesn't it...... including fran, sammie, realist and any other people that has been with bisexual / gay / lesbian partners and enjoy/ed their experiences..... and I would say that includes you and tenni and drugstore.....

welcome to the world of the phobics, the people that embrace the idea that each person has freedom of choice in partners.... cos apparently, its not phobic to make blanket statements about a sexuality and their unreasonable reasons for not dating a sexuality without any supporting proof of the unreasonable reasons......
I do not see any other people calling the other members biphobic...... apparently that title only applies to me.....

as for the different sets of rules, that was what I was refering to...... the way that a definition is twisted and changed by some members to label people, but not applied to any other member with the same view, IE not all lesbians and gays think the same way about dating bisexuals, only SOME, as I stated in my first post,...... and I find it interesting that the OP joined the site and their first post in the site, was seeking info and experiences in order to create a video for youtube that could be offensive to some gay / lesbian people and thats acceptable behievour.... and the result would be SOME gay / lesbian people would claim it was homophobic in nature.......

hence why I pointed out the different set of rules that people play by....... the bi rules verses the gay / lesbian rules

[Gearbox]

they are not interested in a open relationship.....
the person is not their type....
they perfer gay / lesbian partners.....
they already have a suitable situation in their lives.....
they have had bad experiences with bisexual partners in the part.....
they do not agree with some bisexuals ideals.....
they want to express their freedom of choice in who they date ( in the same way we do )
they are not comfortable with a bisexual partner......
they are not able to reconcile the idea of being with a partner that enjoys the opposite gender......
Now that didn't hurt did it?:)
So basically it's a question of monogamy. Which isn't the 'bisexual ideal' for many. It isn't exactly the ideal for ANY sexuality, but for many bisexuals it's more apparent as both genders are at least sexually attractive and craved. That is more or less stated by the mere use of the word 'Bisexual', so if it's monogamy you want, you don't want to hear "I'm bisexual btw!" from a date, even though some bisexuals are monogamous.
Lets not be biased though! I have heard of few gays/lesbians and straights that have never had a 'bad experience' with their 'own kind'. They still date them though.
Bisexuals tend to have a reasonable motive for more than one sexual partner, and not just a need for extra sex on the side.
A reasonable motive to NOT be monogamous is kind of scary for some.


I do not see any other people calling the other members biphobic...... apparently that title only applies to me.....
You support gays/lesbians biphobia and condemn homophobia.
Kind of bizarre on a bisexual site isn't it?

[DuckiesDarling]

I don't think it's a question of monogamy at all, Gear. There are many reasons that any person may not wish to date another person, it's all personal preference. But to target one group and then say omg they are phobic when they don't fall to the ground and worship someone because they are bisexual is just crazy.

Not all lesbians are man haters, not all gay men are women haters, not all bisexuals are cheaters and not all people everywhere are phobic about something but you can bet your ass there is someone somewhere waiting to say they are.

[darkeyes]

Tenni, first of all it is not my intention to hijack the thread merely to instil a little balance.. I have no objection the making of any vid but what phobia there is cannot be said to be all one way.. poor taste? You may think so, but I'll disagree because it is patently not.. if I read something with which I have an issue I will say so wherever I find it if I feel what I have to say pertinent.. the fact that I am a lesbian should not matter.. truth is what matters but that is something we all have different opinions on...

..and as to using the word "gayphobic", I know what I meant and so do you.. so dont play games with me...

Turning to LDD, every one of those reasonable objections can easily arise out of biphobia, and some out of homo or heterophobia.. they may indeed be reasonable, but it is what is in the mind of the person who holds those views which defines whether a phobia or not is involved.. and we cannot always tell just from a statement what is in people's minds and we require more information before deciding whether it is just innocent preference, taste or whether a phobia is involved.... is or instance a religious objection born of belief in scripture a phobia or a reasonable objection? I would argue that it is not a phobia in itself.. but that it can be and so often is anti homo or bisexual is undoubted and may well have arisen out of the phobias of ancient men who wrote these scriptures.. that these scriptures are a reason why many religious people are homo or biphobic is also undoubted, but not the whole reason.. they can be a reasonable objection just as easily as a phobia.. just about like any other objection for that matter..

..and Gear babes.. a reason to not be monogamous is not only the preserve of the bisexual community... and it can be scary for many... sometimes out of a phobia about fidelity or otherwise.. sometimes just because thats the way they are and what they believe...:)

[tenni]

darkeyes
Out of the 26 posts, there are only five that are responding to the thread's topic of specific examples of biphobia imo.

The other 21 posts have been dealing with whether or not there is biphobia or shoulld be biphobia as it is only personal taste. As Gear points out, it seems that some believe that there is homophobia but not biphobia.

You and LDD have hijacked this thread. You are lesbian and LDD is of undetermined and variable sexuality and intersexed. I think that you both have been attempting consciously or unconsciously bi erasure. Others have decided not to post on examples of biphobia by gay/lesbian individuals. You couldn't be more damaging to bisexuals discourse if you intentionally tried. I don't think that is your conscious choice though.

Give it a break babes.

[Gearbox]

I don't think it's a question of monogamy at all, Gear. There are many reasons that any person may not wish to date another person, it's all personal preference. But to target one group and then say omg they are phobic when they don't fall to the ground and worship someone because they are bisexual is just crazy.

Not all lesbians are man haters, not all gay men are women haters, not all bisexuals are cheaters and not all people everywhere are phobic about something but you can bet your ass there is someone somewhere waiting to say they are.
Yes, but it's not about personal sexual attraction/emotional attraction tastes of a person. It's about the sexuality - bisexuality.
We could lie and say we're straight or gay, and be ok to date. But if by stating that we're bi makes it not ok, then there's a something about the sexuality that deters.
I'm guessing it's monogamy. What else could it be?

When somebody calls somebody biphobic etc sometimes they actually are! What gets me about the whole phobic business is that one phobic is ok when another isn't. Obviously LDD has that in mind, and I obviously don't think he's any better than a homophobe for it.
But I could be wrong. He might explain the differences if there are any.


..and Gear babes.. a reason to not be monogamous is not only the preserve of the bisexual community... and it can be scary for many... sometimes out of a phobia about fidelity or otherwise.. sometimes just because thats the way they are and what they believe...
Yes that's true. But as it's about the upkeep of phobia, insecurities etc I don't think it's anything to sing praises to, or put on a pedestal above those who don't have those irrational qualities. Being bi, kind of makes you confront that with the one you love.
If bi-phobia IS about monogamy then it's not reasonable at all. But that's what we get in society these days. *puts on cape n mask*.:bigrin:

[stu.gottz]

I've had some gay men tell me they don't believe in Bisexuality and insist that I\all allegedly bi me were just cowards afraid to be who they were supposed to be which is gay. I think with some gay men it is just a matter of a lack of understanding cross gender attraction. They view the world through their own eyes and from their own perspective and can't\won't accept alternate realities.

[Long Duck Dong]

Yes, but it's not about personal sexual attraction/emotional attraction tastes of a person. It's about the sexuality - bisexuality.
We could lie and say we're straight or gay, and be ok to date. But if by stating that we're bi makes it not ok, then there's a something about the sexuality that deters.
I'm guessing it's monogamy. What else could it be?

When somebody calls somebody biphobic etc sometimes they actually are! What gets me about the whole phobic business is that one phobic is ok when another isn't. Obviously LDD has that in mind, and I obviously don't think he's any better than a homophobe for it.
But I could be wrong. He might explain the differences if there are any.


Yes that's true. But as it's about the upkeep of phobia, insecurities etc I don't think it's anything to sing praises to, or put on a pedestal above those who don't have those irrational qualities. Being bi, kind of makes you confront that with the one you love.
If bi-phobia IS about monogamy then it's not reasonable at all. But that's what we get in society these days. *puts on cape n mask*.:bigrin:


I am questioning why the double standards ?

like I have said, apparently its not biphobia if homosexuals do not date bisexual people, its only biphobia if I point out that not all gay / lesbian people are the same way, some have valid reasons for not dating bisexuals... in the same way that bisexuals have valid reasons for not dating homosexuals which apparently is not homophobia......

but personally myself, I see a clear difference difference between the westboro baptist church... and fran turning you down for a date ( if she was single )......so maybe tenni would like to explain how biphobia works to such a degree,....when my original remark was referring to gays and lesbians......

am I pushing for equal applying of the phobia stance..... no, I am not.....cos I really do not care about labeling people as phobic.... I will deal with each person on their own merits.... cos even a rough diamond can shine if polished the right way..... and its not until I talk with the person, do I have a chance to apply the polish

[Gearbox]

I am questioning why the double standards ?

like I have said, apparently its not biphobia if homosexuals do not date bisexual people, its only biphobia if I point out that not all gay / lesbian people are the same way, some have valid reasons for not dating bisexuals... in the same way that bisexuals have valid reasons for not dating homosexuals which apparently is not homophobia......

but personally myself, I see a clear difference difference between the westboro baptist church... and fran turning you down for a date ( if she was single )......so maybe tenni would like to explain how biphobia works to such a degree,....when my original remark was referring to gays and lesbians......
Double standards as in supporting the right to be biphobic, but criticising the right to be homophobic. Doesn't make sense to me.
Nor does it make sense that talking about biphobia makes you homophobic, as you accused the OP.

There's nothing wrong in being bi IMO, yet we're often told that there is. Same for gays&lesbians. But we (as far as I know) don't support homophobia even with the homosexuals who are biphobic.
It would be very silly to.

[Long Duck Dong]

apparently I am biphobic cos I stated that some gays and lesbians have valid reasons for not dating bisexuals.......

apparently, based on other posts in the thread, its cos I am of variable sexuality and I am intersexed, so my opinions are * invalid * and phobic.... and cos fran is a lesbian, her opinion is invalid as well......

so once again... I am being called phobic by a person that is isolating people by way of sexuality, in order to demean and devalue their statements and opinions.......

yet the same rule doesn't apply to the OP which isolates people by way of sexuality, in order to demean and devalue their reasons ( still not posted ) for not dating bisexual people.....

gearbox, I put it to you, if you met a gay / lesbian person, and you were not interested in dating them, apparently thats fine, but if they say no to dating you cos they are not interested in you, its biphobia
if you respect their right not to date you cos they are not interested, its fine
if they respect your right not to date them, cos you are not interested, its fine
if I respect your right not to date them, its fine
if I respect their right not to date you, its biphobic

wanna explain to ME, how it all works...... cos its pretty fucking one sided to me......

[FunE1]

wanna explain to ME, how it all works...... cos its pretty fucking one sided to me......

Not that it matters, LDD, but I'm confused by the negative reaction to your comment, as well.

Some of us took your point and, actually, agree that the OP made an unfair (and unsupported) generalizing statement about gays and their "unreasonable" reasons for not dating bisexuals. I don't think it's biphobic to point that out.

[tenni]

"its cos I am of variable sexuality and I am intersexed, so my opinions are * invalid * and phobic..."

No, a person is not biphobic because they are intersex or of variable sexuality alone. It is because their behaviour and statements indicate possible biphobia. If a person attack post on the OP's premise of discussing biphobic experiences of bisexuals shows they may have an aversion to bisexuals. The fact that a person attacks so quickly indicates discomfort with biphobia to me. Some of the claimed valid reasons given for gays not dating bisexuals are biphobic statements imo. This may indicate that they do not understand why they may be biphobic. If they state that homophobia is wrong but biphobia is not indicates a double standard as Gear states. Believing in such double standards may indicate an aversion to bisexuals.

"if they say no to dating you cos they are not interested in you, its biphobia"
No, this is not biphobia. No reason is given as to "why" they won't date a bisexual.

[Long Duck Dong]

"its cos I am of variable sexuality and I am intersexed, so my opinions are * invalid * and phobic..."

No, you are no biphobic because you are intersex or of variable sexuality. (that's just daft) It is because your behaviour to attack post on the OP's premise of discussing biphobic experiences of bisexuals shows you as having aversion to other bisexuals. The fact that you attacked so quickly indicates discomfort with biphobia to me. Some of the reasons given by you for gays not dating bisexuals are biphobic statements and this shows that you do not understand why you are biphobic as you stated that they were reasonable reasons. The fact that you do not comprehend your false belief that homophobia is wrong but biphobia is not. As Gear states you are applying a double standard. All of these show your personal aversion to bisexuals.

"if they say no to dating you cos they are not interested in you, its biphobia"
No, this is not biphobia. No reason is given as to "why" they won't date a bisexual.

contradict yourself much ?????

there is no mention of biphobia in the OP....cos no reasons were given.... and as you state there is no biphobia cos there is no reasons given....

my statement doesn't mention any reasons either, but its biphobic when I was refering to how not all gays and lesbians think the same way.... IE fran, a lesbian is married to kate, a bisexual

your own stance is not matching up and once again, other members are noticing that you are singling me out again cos of your personal issues with me......

[Gearbox]

@LDD - The topic is about gays&lesbians who won't date bi's because they are bi. Obviously not because they don't fancy them for any other reason.
That's biphobic, and that's what the thread is about. No 'gay bashing' going on. Just examples of biphobia in the biphobic gays&lesbians.

It's pretty simple!

[dafydd]

I'm making a video for YouTube on the above topic, as I think a lot of us face it. Gay people don't like dating bisexuals for various unreasonable excuses.

Care to share your experience if you have any?

Video style will be dependent on response, but you will receive any credit you rightfully deserve (unless you'd prefer to remain anonymous).

Thanks!

hanging out on gaydar and manhunt over the last decade the general mood is that bisexual men are a catch! They can't keep up demand for bisexuals. Maybe your gay dates aren't using excuses, maybe those excuses are the actual reasons they don't want to date you, not your bisexuality.

in order for you to expose the outrage and pointlesssness of discrimination within a minority, you want to direct a film which when viewed will divide and engender discrimination within a minority.

maybe a more balanced abstract would increase the validity of your final product. It would also prevent your film from adding to the problem it is critiquing e.g 'We object to the fact that homosexuals discriminate against bisexuals and polarise our two peoples. Those asshole homosexuals...what did they give us anyway? Are you gonna stand for some damn fags getting away with their biphobic treatment of you?"

FYI
I've noticed recently that the last 4 dates that dumped me were 5ft 6, 5ft 9, 5 ft8 and 6ft respectively. Well I'm 6ft 3. Whats with this height discrimination? well in order for me to expose the perjorative thinking about tall bisexuals by small bisexuals, I think its important to direct a film that will feature tall bisexuals saying pejorative things about small bisexuals.

lock and load

[Long Duck Dong]

@LDD - The topic is about gays&lesbians who won't date bi's because they are bi. Obviously not because they don't fancy them for any other reason.
That's biphobic, and that's what the thread is about. No 'gay bashing' going on. Just examples of biphobia in the biphobic gays&lesbians.

It's pretty simple!

cool.... where are the gays and lesbians, where are the examples and where are the reasons that they gave ?.........

until such time as they come into the site and give their side of the story, I am not going to label them biphobic.... as that would make me as bad as the people that label bisexuals with a label without hearing our side of the story, just labeling us..... something that people refer to as biphobia.......

oh I forget, bisexuals can do no wrong, can they.......?

[csrakate]

I've tried to say silent in this matter because I found the topic ridiculous and far fetched and quite honestly, I didn't want to get involved in the usual pissing match that occurs whenever we are presented with a controversial topic. I love a good debate as much as the next person, but this has veered far away from debate and is getting further and further away from the original, albeit ludicrous premise. I feel like a teacher in a school yard separating the kids and I am sure I'll be labeled as a busy body but here goes.....my two cents.....take it for what it is worth:

The OP was wrong to declare that lesbians and gays, as a whole, don't date bisexuals. We all know that it isn't true. Some do...some don't....but it can't be stated as a fact. LDD is wrong in his argument against the OP and of those who are clamoring biphobia because he is focusing on interpersonal reasons when in fact, the OP is stating it as a preference in general....i.e. Lesbians and Gays WON'T date bisexuals and it's not because they don't like them or they don't find them attractive, but because the OP feels they have banned bisexuals from their life because they don't accept bisexuals in practice. Basically....these are two separate arguments and LDD, as as usual, you are crusading for the other side, which is admirable in practice, but not relevant in the ill-conceived argument of the OP. If gays and lesbians do, in fact, refuse to date bisexuals as a practice and without regard to the person involved or a sexual attractiveness to the person, then YES...it is a form of biphobia. And while I can't agree with the OP because I don't believe that all gays and lesbians feel this way, I also can't agree with LDD because he is arguing a totally different scenario....and his argument is further damaged by his insistence that he is being disagreed with out of "persecution". Sorry, LDD....but you are reading too much into the original statement and have taken this thread in a different direction. I implore you to accept that perhaps you may have been mistaken and drop the on again off again love affair you seem to have with being a martyr. I don't mean this in a mean spirited way....believe me I don't....I know you are often the target of less than admirable comments, but I tire of the endless battles and your inability to ever see that you, just perhaps, could be wrong. I think people would find it easier to accept your comments if perhaps...just once....you could give up getting in the last word. It's an admirable trait to believe so strongly in something as you do, but it's a totally different trait when you insist on beating a dead horse.

[elian]

I've had gay people tell me that I'm "just confused" before, but I don't take it personally..I imagine that it's much that same way a straight person struggles to understand what it feels to be gay.

That's the polite answer, and I think in a lot of cases the right one, but another truth is that human prejudice knows no bounds. Whether I attribute "ignorance" or "prejudice" has a lot to do with the level of militancy in a person's accusation.

As for "bi-erasure", when I was in my teens I never took bisexuality seriously - I thought I was gay. A wise straight lady even told me, "You're not gay, you've just had really shitty role models growing up." She was right.

The only way I knew I was bi is finding this site, relating to other people's experiences and realizing that my constant "unrest" regarding sexual attraction to one or the other gender was trying to tell me something.

Some people really DO like and love both..and for the ones who have been told it's only one way OR the other, it's not "double your chances for a date", it's very confusing. It's not a curse to love someone for who they are, instead of what is between their legs.

For the record, no Lesbian people I have ever met have ever had the arrogance to tell me that I don't exist.

I don't care if you use this material in your video, but I don't need to be credited. Thanks.

[darkeyes]

I've tried to say silent in this matter because I found the topic ridiculous and far fetched and quite honestly, I didn't want to get involved in the usual pissing match that occurs whenever we are presented with a controversial topic. I love a good debate as much as the next person, but this has veered far away from debate and is getting further and further away from the original, albeit ludicrous premise. I feel like a teacher in a school yard separating the kids and I am sure I'll be labeled as a busy body but here goes.....my two cents.....take it for what it is worth:

The OP was wrong to declare that lesbians and gays, as a whole, don't date bisexuals. We all know that it isn't true. Some do...some don't....but it can't be stated as a fact. LDD is wrong in his argument against the OP and of those who are clamoring biphobia because he is focusing on interpersonal reasons when in fact, the OP is stating it as a preference in general....i.e. Lesbians and Gays WON'T date bisexuals and it's not because they don't like them or they don't find them attractive, but because the OP feels they have banned bisexuals from their life because they don't accept bisexuals in practice. Basically....these are two separate arguments and LDD, as as usual, you are crusading for the other side, which is admirable in practice, but not relevant in the ill-conceived argument of the OP. If gays and lesbians do, in fact, refuse to date bisexuals as a practice and without regard to the person involved or a sexual attractiveness to the person, then YES...it is a form of biphobia. And while I can't agree with the OP because I don't believe that all gays and lesbians feel this way, I also can't agree with LDD because he is arguing a totally different scenario....and his argument is further damaged by his insistence that he is being disagreed with out of "persecution". Sorry, LDD....but you are reading too much into the original statement and have taken this thread in a different direction. I implore you to accept that perhaps you may have been mistaken and drop the on again off again love affair you seem to have with being a martyr. I don't mean this in a mean spirited way....believe me I don't....I know you are often the target of less than admirable comments, but I tire of the endless battles and your inability to ever see that you, just perhaps, could be wrong. I think people would find it easier to accept your comments if perhaps...just once....you could give up getting in the last word. It's an admirable trait to believe so strongly in something as you do, but it's a totally different trait when you insist on beating a dead horse.

*pulls the zip from one corner of her mouth to the other and has Naggy cuff 'er hands behind 'er cos mumsie is on warpath*

*Keeps schtum an signs out blowing mumsie a kissie :kiss: as she shoots out door.....*

[christelle69]

the reason I'll not date bisexual women ever again is related to my experience, I've been burned twice, it has imply humiliation and lies on a long term basis...

I've cried everyday during more than a year, being in pain because the one I'm with is lying to me, I know she's looking at guys in the street.

Is it too much to ask for commitments, fidelity, and most importantly making your partner the only one in your sexual fantasy? I do that for myself Katrina is the only one in my sexual world I'm expecting my partner doing the same...Be she's not, thinking of disgusting cocks in a lesbian relationship (the simple idea of imagining her being taken by a male make me sick....The fear as well that I might have kissed her after she has given a blow job, I've vomit on that idea the other day), that's not normal...Prefering wanking in front of straight porn instead of making love to ME...Beside the sexual aspect of the problem, this is the betrayal and the humiliation that I feel everyday

I wish I was not in love with her

[elian]

the reason I'll not date bisexual women ever again is related to my experience, I've been burned twice, it has imply humiliation and lies on a long term basis...

I've cried everyday during more than a year, being in pain because the one I'm with is lying to me, I know she's looking at guys in the street.

Is it too much to ask for commitments, fidelity, and most importantly making your partner the only one in your sexual fantasy? I do that for myself Katrina is the only one in my sexual world I'm expecting my partner doing the same...Be she's not, thinking of disgusting cocks in a lesbian relationship (the simple idea of imagining her being taken by a male make me sick....The fear as well that I might have kissed her after she has given a blow job, I've vomit on that idea the other day), that's not normal...Prefering wanking in front of straight porn instead of making love to ME...Beside the sexual aspect of the problem, this is the betrayal and the humiliation that I feel everyday

I wish I was not in love with her

Some bisexual people are perfectly happy in a monogamous relationship and others are not. I can tell that you are in a lot of pain and for that I am sorry. Does your partner know how you feel about her interest in porn or her interest in men? Are these just her fantasies or has she acted on them? If they are fantasies then remember that it's YOU she comes home to at night..not anyone else. I'm sorry your relationship is strained.

[Long Duck Dong]

I've tried to say silent in this matter because I found the topic ridiculous and far fetched and quite honestly, I didn't want to get involved in the usual pissing match that occurs whenever we are presented with a controversial topic. I love a good debate as much as the next person, but this has veered far away from debate and is getting further and further away from the original, albeit ludicrous premise. I feel like a teacher in a school yard separating the kids and I am sure I'll be labeled as a busy body but here goes.....my two cents.....take it for what it is worth:

The OP was wrong to declare that lesbians and gays, as a whole, don't date bisexuals. We all know that it isn't true. Some do...some don't....but it can't be stated as a fact. LDD is wrong in his argument against the OP and of those who are clamoring biphobia because he is focusing on interpersonal reasons when in fact, the OP is stating it as a preference in general....i.e. Lesbians and Gays WON'T date bisexuals and it's not because they don't like them or they don't find them attractive, but because the OP feels they have banned bisexuals from their life because they don't accept bisexuals in practice. Basically....these are two separate arguments and LDD, as as usual, you are crusading for the other side, which is admirable in practice, but not relevant in the ill-conceived argument of the OP. If gays and lesbians do, in fact, refuse to date bisexuals as a practice and without regard to the person involved or a sexual attractiveness to the person, then YES...it is a form of biphobia. And while I can't agree with the OP because I don't believe that all gays and lesbians feel this way, I also can't agree with LDD because he is arguing a totally different scenario....and his argument is further damaged by his insistence that he is being disagreed with out of "persecution". Sorry, LDD....but you are reading too much into the original statement and have taken this thread in a different direction. I implore you to accept that perhaps you may have been mistaken and drop the on again off again love affair you seem to have with being a martyr. I don't mean this in a mean spirited way....believe me I don't....I know you are often the target of less than admirable comments, but I tire of the endless battles and your inability to ever see that you, just perhaps, could be wrong. I think people would find it easier to accept your comments if perhaps...just once....you could give up getting in the last word. It's an admirable trait to believe so strongly in something as you do, but it's a totally different trait when you insist on beating a dead horse.


kate...... if gays and lesbians refuse to date us.... why do we have to label them as biphobic, why can we just not move on, instead of playing the * label game * ..... in the same way that bisexuals dislike being labeled by other people.....

and two..... why do we not apply the terms homophobe / homophobia equally in the same way that we apply the terms biphobe / biphobia ?

personally I did not see the OP as homophobic as it was a badly worded statement, what I did do, was apply the term homophobia in the same way it was applied in the thread..... just to show how easy it is to become the very same thing we are labeling others as........sexuality phobes....

there is a big difference between demeaning, devaluing, offensive statements about people of a sexuality...... and not being interested in dating a sexuality.......
unless we are going to say that bisexuals that do not date gays / lesbians are on the same level as the westboro church

[dafydd]

have there actually been any studies on this phenomena, or interviews with lesbians/gays who don't date bisexuals? Is this really that widespread to be called a social/cultural issue as opposed to a personal one?

[*pan*]

the reason I'll not date bisexual women ever again is related to my experience, I've been burned twice, it has imply humiliation and lies on a long term basis...

I've cried everyday during more than a year, being in pain because the one I'm with is lying to me, I know she's looking at guys in the street.

Is it too much to ask for commitments, fidelity, and most importantly making your partner the only one in your sexual fantasy? I do that for myself Katrina is the only one in my sexual world I'm expecting my partner doing the same...Be she's not, thinking of disgusting cocks in a lesbian relationship (the simple idea of imagining her being taken by a male make me sick....The fear as well that I might have kissed her after she has given a blow job, I've vomit on that idea the other day), that's not normal...Prefering wanking in front of straight porn instead of making love to ME...Beside the sexual aspect of the problem, this is the betrayal and the humiliation that I feel everyday

I wish I was not in love with her

then this is a form or reason for biphobia. a few bad expirences and the whole bisexual community is excluded from ever being able to date you. your total dislike of the male gender sexualy. "The fear as well that I might have kissed her after she has given a blow job" :eek:OMG'S. oh wow that is a bias in it's purest form. this is the problem i was talkin about in my last post. sorry but it's hard for me to understand this kind of dislike. isn't it the same as me not wanting to kiss a woman because she maby sucked a black person or kissed him. i'm sorry but this is just another hatred and bias towards a different target. it may be a personal dislike but so was hating blacks in the 60's.
YOU CLAIM TO LOVE THIS WOMAN BUT WILL NOT TRY TO UNDERSTAND HER WANTS AND DESIRES. adhearing only to your interpretation of a relationship and how it should be. when, if you truly loved her you would try to understand her letting go of you phobias. i see this as a problem with me trying to understand lesbians and homosexuals and phobias as i have none. being bisexual can accept my lover for who and what they are helping them to enjoy and expirence life and what ever turns them on and just being happy being with them knowing they love me too. besides isn't this what a friend, mate and lover is for, to enjoy and expirence life with someone who you can feel comfortable with and trust.

[darkeyes]

Bad experience is never a good reason to have any phobia.. most of us have them, bad experiences I mean not phobias, but lots have them too of one kid or t'otha.. I've dated guys and girls, bi girls, str8 guys and lesbians (never knowingly a bi guy, but it was never something I ruled out)... even a couple of str8 girls who were curious... I've had bad experiences with all kinds.. even bi guys subsequently although not in a personal sexual sense.. peeps r peeps... they have dislikes and phobias and likes and philias we mustn't forget... to class an entire group of people on the basis of a few bad experiences or even one awful one is just daft to me... there are good and bad in all kinds of peeps.. considerate and selfish, users, losers, faithful and the opposite, truthsayers and liars.. no group of people has exclusivity in any of these or any other good or bad for that matter.. take ye peeps as ye find 'em...

[tenni]

"to class an entire group of people "

Look darkeyes. The OP made a slight mistake in her intro but that doesn't negate the fact that there is biphobia in "some" gay/lesbians about dating bisexuals. Most reasonable people realize that there is biphobia in the gay/lesbian community. NOT all g/l are biphobic. Some are. This is the purpose of this thread. Do you agree that some gays/lesbians are biphobic about dating bisexuals?

Even good gay men will admit to being biphobic towards an entire sexual group called bisexuals while dating a man that he didn't realize was bisexual(due to his own behaviour and not a closeted biguy).

Confronting my Biphobia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diEqhUpDClc

..............................................
Here is another example of internalized biphobia within a man and external biphobia in the gay media. Tom Robinson has internatized biphobia imo. Interesting his argument about "not labelling" parallels some thoughts on this thread. Internatized biphobia? Yep! Some label phobes call themselves "hetero" and yet have sex with same sex for decades. Illusion/delusion is internalized biphobia or homophobia when it comes to self which is different than external forces labelling a person.

"An example of both label fluidity and community hostility is Tom Robinson, a British political rock musician who penned the song "Glad to Be Gay." His lover of several years is a woman and they have a child together. He says that, despite his current relationship, he does not label himself bisexual. He says, "I don't think it's helpful to start drawing lines around it and say that actually I'm bisexual. We fracture ourselves into more and more factions, when what we really need is more and more unity." (Hoffman, 1994, p. 16) Nonetheless, even he has become the target of biphobic rhetoric. Despite his public openness about his sexuality, and his years of gay activism, his decision to enter into an opposite-sex relationship met with negative response in the press. Hoffman (1994) writes, "Though the mainstream papers tried to make a sex scandal out of his new relationship, the gay press was far more vicious, labeling Robinson a traitor, a hypocrite, an enemy of the community." (p. 16)"

http://www.robynochs.com/writing/essays/biphobia.html

[darkeyes]

Look Tenni... its like this.. (soz cudn resist it)..;)

.. I do get pigged off at times when peeps seem to iggie everything I say cept the bits wich makes them seem 2 have caught me out... there was no need for u to even think that question far less ask it.. but open thy pretty een and read.... I have often said, and will say again, that some.. too many... gay and lesbian peeps suffer biphobia.... but equally I have often said most don't..

I replied as I did in my last post not to the OP, and certainly not to dismiss the idea that biphobia exists or that bi erasure is not a reality in some quarters in the gay community... but to things which had been said in the few posts previous to my posting.. it is relevant.. because it is how peeps should be.. whatever their gender or their sexuality... I said what I said because I think it was pertinent.. what you think and get uppity bout is your own affair...;)

[ErosUrge]

I've had some gay men tell me they don't believe in Bisexuality and insist that I\all allegedly bi me were just cowards afraid to be who they were supposed to be which is gay. I think with some gay men it is just a matter of a lack of understanding cross gender attraction. They view the world through their own eyes and from their own perspective and can't\won't accept alternate realities.

Exactly my experience too with a certain gay individual who refused to accept that anyone could genuinely be interested in both sexes. He became very adamant about it also. Though I realize not all gay people or most are of this thinking, there are some that are. I think it only fair that this be exposed for what it is just as anyone who is homophobic is instantly called out for it. I don't think the goal of the OP is to directly accuse all gays of being biphobic or to turn bi people or people of any sexual persuasion to feel that this is the case, but as with any and all phobias I think it should be exposed for what it is. What it comes down to is those who understand-understand, while those that don't will continue to live in the darkness of ignorance. But sometimes it's necessary to shed the light on such things just as when homophobia is exposed.