Has anyone else had this problem?

[Jobelorocks]

With my profile here I have to be ridiculously exact in what I want and don't want. I keep on having to change it to make it even more exact. I think that I have it to a point where no one can misunderstand what I am looking for here on bisexual.com, and then I get several emails that shows that is not the case.

Does anyone else have this problem? Any suggestions on how to make this more exact so I don't have to keep on editing my profile and making it a mile long? I am almost to the point where I just put, "Don't bother contacting me at all."

[darkeyes]

With my profile here I have to be ridiculously exact in what I want and don't want. I keep on having to change it to make it even more exact. I think that I have it to a point where no one can misunderstand what I am looking for here on bisexual.com, and then I get several emails that shows that is not the case.

Does anyone else have this problem? Any suggestions on how to make this more exact so I don't have to keep on editing my profile and making it a mile long? I am almost to the point where I just put, "Don't bother contacting me at all."

Jobe hun, peeps will always misconstrue what u say whether by accident or design.. some couldnt care less and will do their own thing... dont fret about it so just write it as clearly and concisely as you wish and can and then let them stew in their own juice... cos there will always be someone, babes....:)

[tenni]

Hi Jobel
Just a friendly comment. If I were you, I would take down all images of yourself. Use an icon image for your profile if you want. Sorry, but your butt is just too cute to stop interest.:eek::bigrin: (not meant to be offensive) If you are here to chat, does it matter what your physical appearance is? If you start to make friends, then you may decide if/when you want to show your real physical self to them.

[Jobelorocks]

Ya, that was my Halloween costume and a bunch of people I chatted with wanted to see pictures of what it looked like, so hence forth why I posted those. I haven't even thought of taking them down yet, I probably should.

I haven't got any one looking to hook up or anything for a while. I just have been getting a lot of people sending me emails just saying, "What issues do you have?", or " What areas would you like advice on?" I just figure if you are writing me, then you should be the one who comes up with the subject matter for conversation.

[Gearbox]

Jobelorocks sweetheart, it's the internet, you are a sexy lady with pics of your sexy self! For a great many people your pleas of 'NO SEXY NONSENSE PLEASE! JUST HERE TO CHAT THANK YOU!' means 'CHAT A BIT FIRST, THEN LETS GET INTO SEXY NONSENSE'.:bigrin:

There's not a lot you can do about that. Pictures speak louder than words, and they say things that others want to hear. BUT that doesn't mean you should wear a Yashmak or go 'vision off'.
Also,maybe some people just want to chat because your nice, but don't have an issue to break the ice?

[Realist]

My GF quit signing on, here.

She had a polite, reserved, message and was not advertising for a relationship, or hookup. But, she was getting some pretty forward messages and e-mails, even though she never posted a photo.

[slipnslide]

maybe shut down your personal ad?

[LastGent]

Jobelorocks: tell them to read your ad, then call you back when they're finished.

[dafydd]

I haven't got any one looking to hook up or anything for a while. I just have been getting a lot of people sending me emails just saying, "What issues do you have?", or " What areas would you like advice on?" I just figure if you are writing me, then you should be the one who comes up with the subject matter for conversation.

Jo,
In the main, your profile is talking to all the people you're not interested in and sounds guarded. Maybe switch the tone slightly, and talk to the ones you want and try not to let your frustration affect your positivitiy. Your text doesn't say much about who you are as a person, and mainly all the things you don't want to read in an email. Have you ever heard the phrase "don't think of a pink elephant"?

I gather you're not looking for hookups from the profile, "I'm not interested in hookups" but then you mention above that "I haven't got any one looking to hook up or anything for a while." What do you define as a hook-up by that sentence as opposed to in the profile text?

Your profile, as such i guess makes me feel that you're conflicted.
From your posts, (which make you sound totally different to your ad) I think you want to build pen pals and a dialogue of communication but your profile in not mentioned what interests you, invites the question from people "what issues are u interested?"
However if you want them to come up with the subject: best to put that in your profile too. Although that idea does feel like your being the Blue Fairy in AI, and I think you should be promoting your heart not just your mind.

You mention that you want to 'limit' number of sexual partners, but using 'limit' might implies that you are reducing, and have not stopped looking. 'sexual partner' can encompass anyone who just is looking for sex, which leaves a virutal crack open in the door so anyone feels elligable to write.

Try pairing down the detail.
You might put something like this in there:
"'Please tell me what you're looking for in your email. If I don't reply we're just not a match, sorry, but thanks"
Although anyone who uses something like that runs the risk of looking a bit self-regarded. However it will solve ur frustration of endlessly having to replying with 'no thanks' It's a toss up really.

Personally I don't like profiles that include that idea. I think it's never a bad thing to be contacted. I see it as a compliment rather than an annoyance, but I have about 5 strangers say "hi" every year here. How emails are you dealing with here Jo!? ;) lol

I hope you don't think I'm being too negative and take it in the spirit of offering a different persepective: Im only going on your profile and my reaction to it, and thought that's the best response to your OP. Of course I really don't know know you at all. Don't ever change your avatar though. It's great.

I think my current profile text is far too detailed and long-winded myself.

d

[Jobelorocks]

The only reason I put up an ad was because without one, people were bombarding me with pms. Then I added one to help cut down on the ones that were aimed at hooking up, but obviously I wasn't clear enough.

I have had to edit it many times because people keep on asking what my issues were that I want to talk about. Heck, if you pm me, I think it is you who are supposed to come up with the topic. Just thought that was common sense, but I guess not. So I had to clarify further. So many times I get stuff like this and have to further and further clarify.

I have the tone for a reason, to keep a bunch of people from pming me. I really want very few and it to be limited mostly to people who I have talked with in forums. I just don't know how to make things any more clear, because I have had to clarify many times.

I really don't want to put info about me up either. A big part of this is I want it rather anonymous, especially because it is online.

I don't really care if I sound like a bitch, I just want it to be very clear that I don't want a bunch of random pms.

P.S. I don't have pictures up anymore and my avatar is in no way sexual.

[dafydd]

I don't really care if I sound like a bitch, I just want it to be very clear that I don't want a bunch of random pms.

P.S. I don't have pictures up anymore and my avatar is in no way sexual.

You don't sound like a bitch.
I dont think you're avator is sexual either. It's got a lot of character. that's why i wrote i liked it.

[Herculoid Poirot]

I looked at your profile and it seems pretty clear to me that you're not interested in any foolishness!

[Jobelorocks]

To answer your previous question Dafydd I recieve emails that are of no interest to me about 2 times a week. Before I even had an ad I got approx. 10 or so a week. It just got annoying and is still a little annoying.

I did recently put that if you want to pm me, you have to come up with subject matter.

Also when I said that I wanted to limit sexual partners, I said my husband and I have all the "friends" we want. I think that is very clear and putting that up has extremely limited the number of hook-up emails. I still get them from time to time, but nowhere near where they were.

[drawingboard3]

Yes Jobelo, I think a lot of people on this site have the exact same problem as you do - including myself.
Based on my own personal experience, it is evident to me that people are either just too lazy to read profiles and/or do not care what is written and will proposition you regardless...
I think you've done a pretty damn good job of clearly stating what you want and don't want in your profile - so much so that you shouldn't waste any more time trying to word it differently. The respectful people on this site who actually take the time to read it through will understand your words just as clearly as I have :)