Absolute beginners......being bisexual and loving both genders for the first time

[Long Duck Dong]

all credits to david bowie for the song..... lol......

I remember the first time that I realised that I was not just attracted to both genders, but in love with two people of different genders, I dammed near pissed my pants and went into shock.... how could this happen ? what do I do ? how do I act ?......

lets face it, there was no falling in love with both genders for dummies books in the 80s..... and while my group of friends was open minded about LGBT ( teenagers we were... and yeah, had not really been *tainted * by politics and social divisions ) we were a lil blonde when it came to things like love and being in love.... we were full of the teen crushes on Tiffany and a lot of the teen idols.... and it seemed to me to be normal for me to feel attracted to both genders.....

I knew about falling in love and that it hurt me badly.... not to break up with the person or the broken heart, but the feeling of wanting to be with a person yet a pain inside me and a understanding that it was not the right thing to do..... falling in love with a person was not a good move at all ( years later I was to solve the mystery of why I felt that way )

but here I was, attracted to a new guy to the group, a surfer type guy with a nice smile and tan.... and I realised with a shock that I was not just attracted to him, I was falling in love with him..... not just the image of the surfer guy, but the person and this was something that was new to me, the idea of loving a guy, was not a issue for me but the understanding that I could hurt because I could love both genders.......

what was it about this guy, I never really knew.....and in the few short months, that the group remained together, I was able to take the time to *explore * myself and see how similar the feelings were that I felt towards my gf and this guy and how I felt towards them both... and in a way, it was a shame that I never really opened up more about it with him, tho my gf knew about my bisexuality and she hinted with her feminine intuition, that he was interested in males himself... tho if he was gay or bi, is a mystery that will never be solved.....

looking back, I have wondered what would have happened if I had opened up.... maybe I would have been a 16 year old with a bf and a gf... maybe I would have made a fool of myself.... and maybe I would have come face to face with a adverse reaction.... I will never know..... but I know that I am thankful for that young surfer guy with the longish hair, tan and ever present smile, for opening up my eyes and heart, as much as falling in love caused me so much pain....

over the years, I have met others that have have tugged at my heart strings.... but I will never forget the first guy I truly fell in love with and loved.. even if he may have never known about it.....

as a side note, it was a few months later that I was drinking and driving and crashed, the young surfer guy and my GF were two of the people that died.... my first two real loves........

so I am curious about others experiences with realising that they were in love with both genders, or just the same gender.... cos I know there are a good number of people in the site that have experienced loving both and the same gender.... and it would be nice to share experiences

[Jobelorocks]

I say that you can be an asexual bisexual if you are romantically attracted to both genders. It isn't much different considering someone who is romantically attracted to both genders, but only sexually attracted to one bisexual. I say let people label themselves how they wish to label themselves. I know I sure as hell don't want anyone telling what my sexuality is or is not, so why would I do that to someone else? It is inappropriate and frankly none of my business how someone chooses to label themselves.

[tenni]

"I remember the first time that I realised that I was not just attracted to both genders, but in love with two people of different genders,"

I don't think that I've experienced being in love with two genders at the same time. I may have been attracted to both genders at the same time. With me as far as other guys, I can only recall rather than understand during a process. I knew that I liked some guys as friends or envied them for their skills. I just assumed that everyone felt this "liking" for other guy friends. You just like one guy maybe more as a friend because of their humour, skills, etc. To separate that and call it love is not quite easy to do. I can be physcially sexually attracted to another man and part of that attraction may be his behaviour.

With women, the feelings are similar but quite different. The intensity is stronger as far as an emotional reaction to the woman. I may want to please her more. That isn't to say that I don't want to spend time with a guy and think that he will like me. Love and admiration are similar to me but interconnected when it comes to guys. I don't think that I emotionally feel the same "love" for men that I do for women. I do however feel emotion for some men. Lots of bisexual men do not feel any emotion for other men. It is all physical.

Therefore the question is difficult to answer. Lots of bi guys can write about their physical sexual attraction to both men and women. Love is a more difficult word to attach to other men. It exists. It may be familial as in a brother love and sexual love getting all mixed up and messy.

Its just different with women than men.

So, can not really answer with the same framework as the OP and certainly not at the same time..I don't think. That must be really hard and confusing. I'm sorry that you lost both of your loves that way. Tragic.

[BiDaveDtown]

I say that you can be an asexual bisexual if you are romantically attracted to both genders. It isn't much different considering someone who is romantically attracted to both genders, but only sexually attracted to one bisexual. I say let people label themselves how they wish to label themselves. I know I sure as hell don't want anyone telling what my sexuality is or is not, so why would I do that to someone else? It is inappropriate and frankly none of my business how someone chooses to label themselves. That's not necessarily true. If someone's bisexual they're not asexual at all and an actual bisexual is going to be at least sexually attracted to both men and women, and an asexual person-even a "bisexual asexual" as you put it is not sexually attracted to anyone at all. Just because an asexual can potentially fall in love with both genders it doesn't make them bisexual at all since there's no sexual attraction at all to either gender. I know gay men who told me how they have had a deep emotional connection to a woman and some even said that they fell in love with a woman in a certain way but as far as sexual attraction goes they've never been sexually attracted to any women at all or anyone of the female gender. They're not bisexual just because they fell in love with a woman or had a deep emotional connection with a woman. Some of these gay men have had sex with women and even were married to women and claimed to be "bisexual" but they are not bisexual at all since they're gay/homosexual and are not sexually attracted to women at all. Then you have a lot of gay, lesbian, and straight identified people who are really bisexual but it doesn't make them monosexual or "straight", "lesbian", or "gay" just because they identify this way since they are actually bisexual because they're sexually attracted to both genders. The real lesson of the original poster's story is to never drink and drive, don't drive high on pot or other drugs, and don't ride as a passenger at all with someone who is intoxicated or has been drinking or using drugs. Even be careful and don't text or use a cellphone while driving and if you have to make a call that's important pull over and do it.

[Jobelorocks]

Well, we have to agree to disagree. I have heard all those arguments before and I just don't agree. I say let people label themselves and you can label yourself however you darn well please. How he labels himself doesn't affect you or me in any way, so why should we care on how he decides to label himself? It isn't like he is lying, he just has a different definition then you do . I don't agree, and probably never will. I have heard these arguments over and over and over. If you don't like how others label themselves, then you should just keep it to yourself. Everyone has the right to label themselves and not to be told by others what they are and are not. I know it pisses me off when people tell me I am not really bi or that bisexuality doesnt' exist. Why would I do that to someone else?

That's not necessarily true. If someone's bisexual they're not asexual at all and an actual bisexual is going to be at least sexually attracted to both men and women, and an asexual person-even a "bisexual asexual" as you put it is not sexually attracted to anyone at all. Just because an asexual can potentially fall in love with both genders it doesn't make them bisexual at all since there's no sexual attraction at all to either gender. I know gay men who told me how they have had a deep emotional connection to a woman and some even said that they fell in love with a woman in a certain way but as far as sexual attraction goes they've never been sexually attracted to any women at all or anyone of the female gender. They're not bisexual just because they fell in love with a woman or had a deep emotional connection with a woman. Some of these gay men have had sex with women and even were married to women and claimed to be "bisexual" but they are not bisexual at all since they're gay/homosexual and are not sexually attracted to women at all. Then you have a lot of gay, lesbian, and straight identified people who are really bisexual but it doesn't make them monosexual or "straight", "lesbian", or "gay" just because they identify this way since they are actually bisexual because they're sexually attracted to both genders. The real lesson of the original poster's story is to never drink and drive, don't drive high on pot or other drugs, and don't ride as a passenger at all with someone who is intoxicated or has been drinking or using drugs. Even be careful and don't text or use a cellphone while driving and if you have to make a call that's important pull over and do it.

[tenni]

Its a shame that the thread is being distracted. If posters just answer the concept question, it might clear up if sexual bisexuals have found themselves in "love" with two people of the different genders at the same time. Maybe this is common amongst sexual bisexuals or it is a feature of biromantic asexuals? I personally would like to believe that it is possible for bisexuals to love two people of different genders at the same time. It just has not happened to me.

However, the OP continues to play with words to suit his desire at the moment. The OP also uses language "love" that may align better with:
Biromantic

A person who is romantically attracted (http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Attraction) to members of two different sexes or genders. Biromantic asexuals seek romantic relationships for a variety of reasons, including companionship, affection, and intimacy, but they are not sexually attracted to their romantic partners.
http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Biromantic

To add to the confusion AVEN states that asexuals may use the term "bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual" as a sexual identity. The entire concept of asexuality has not been even accepted by some psychologists who idefine various things in psychology. Other psychologist are seeing it as a separate sexuality similar to heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual.

[Long Duck Dong]

considering that I have fucked most of the people I have been in love with.... well that blows the understanding that I am not bisexual as the people have been of both genders......unless bisexuals are people that have sex with both genders and are not named LDD

if we are quoting aven... then lets quote this part too

Some asexuals (though not all) have sex drives, but see them as a private thing that should be taken care of alone, like going to the bathroom. Some of these asexuals find it helpful to use pornography to speed the process along. While not sexually attracted to the people in their erotic materials, asexuals with sex drives can sometimes pick up a general feeling of sexuality from such materials. Some asexuals even have sexual fantasies, although they do not wish to carry out these fantasies with real people in real life. However, it is also possible that your partner is sexual, but wants to avoid having sex with you for some other reason. The best way to know is to talk to them openly.

the asexual nature is cos of the lack of sex drive, as I have posted before in the site..... in the asexuality thread which got trashed by tenni, drugstore and bidave....... ( anybody see a pattern here ? ) and its a issue that I can fix medically....

but hey guys, thanks for trolling and trashing yet another thread in the site........

[BiDaveDtown]

However, the OP continues to play with words to suit his desire at the moment. The OP also uses language "love" that may align better with: Biromantic A person who is romantically attracted (http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Attraction) to members of two different sexes or genders. Biromantic asexuals seek romantic relationships for a variety of reasons, including companionship, affection, and intimacy, but they are not sexually attracted to their romantic partners. http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Biromantic AVEN should get it correct, actually understand human sexuality and that someone who is asexual can't be gay/lesbian, bisexual, or straight since people of all of those sexualities are actually sexually attracted to people, while asexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone and are not any of those sexualities or a combination of being asexual and not sexually attracted to anyone, or another sexuality where there is and has been sexual attraction, even if some certain asexuals want to pretend that they are both sexual beings who are sexually attracted to people and have a sexual orientation, and asexual too. ;) Just because an asexual can perform sexually or has had sexual experiences with both genders it does not mean that they are bisexual since there's no sexual attraction at all to any gender hence their asexuality. It's like how gay men can have sex with women and it does not make them bisexual. Asexuality and the study of it is nothing new at all. Kinsey first wrote about asexuality and defined asexuals as being X or non-sexual/asexual. an additional grade, listed as "X", was used for asexuality.[2][3] It was first published in Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) by Alfred Kinsey, Wardell Pomeroy and others, and was also prominent in the complementary work Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953). Numbers between 1 and 5 indicate bisexuality. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale As someone who is bisexual I'm actually sexually attracted to both genders and even when I masturbate alone it's not like "going to the bathroom" or always something LOL "private" since sometimes my wife and I like to watch each other masturbate and we get turned on by each other which is something that doesn't happen to an asexual, no matter who they are with or the gender(s) of their partners. When I sexually active with men before I was married we would masturbate together and have sex this way and sure enough I was sexually attracted to men too. Yes as a bisexual I have had sexual attraction to both genders, and I have fallen in love with both genders but I am partnered and married to a woman and we are monogamous.

[Jason0012]

I only recently learned a bit about asexuality. I can't say I understand asexuality as it is really far removed from my own experiences. What I can relate to is the experience of finding ones self in love with a member of both genders. This sounds an awful lot like bisexuality to me. Isn't it splitting hairs to seperate biromantic from bisexual ? I am unsure how to respond to the original post as this thread has been so thoroughly hijacked.

[axlton]

I have to wonder after reading this. Have you always been asexual or is that something that happened after this incident (not necessarily right after but sometime after.) Being responsible for the deaths of both of your first loves is a heavy burden to bear and I can't say that I envy you. It's just that from reading some of the things you've had to say in other posts it's easy to see that you are against open relationships, and I wonder if this to stems from that. It seems like you wanted that open relationship back then and have spent the rest of your life wondering what might have been.

Sorry for the off topic reply, but the story is such a sad one that it almost overshadows the question you had to ask.

As for me... I've never fallen in love with a man in a romantic kind of way. I can't say that it would never happen, but it seems highly unlikely. I've always had an emotional and sexual attraction to women and just a sexual attraction to men. While I have experienced brotherly love, or the kind of love that a man might feel for a close friend, it's not the same as being "In Love" with someone.

[Long Duck Dong]

its ok jason...... its cos people get confused by the grey area and they like to use absolutes in their thinking but blur the lines when it comes to their own sexuality.....

asexuality and asexuals are not set in stone with clear guidelines... just like bisexuality is not set in stone with clear guidelines....and that is the issue in this case.... my detractors like to think that they are correct cos they read websites and then tell a professionally diagnosed asexual natured bisexual that he is wrong cos they have read websites....

the part they keep missing is that they use the term asexual... I use the term asexual natured cos there are grey areas there.....a bit like bi curious people, they have grey areas....

as you say, the thread has been hijacked far too much..... so my advice is start your own thread with your own experiences, and maybe it will not get threadjacked......cos yeah, I am interested in hearing your experiences

[Long Duck Dong]

axlton, I was diagnosed as asexual natured and having dystimia about the same time... when I was 37... and the psychs can not work out if its definately a aspect of the dystimia ( depression ) or if it is part of the genetic aspects to my body ( I have a intersex genetic make up ) or what the hell is going on... so they used the term asexual natured as I have aspects of asexuality, but I also have aspects of bisexuality.... a bit like the intersex issue, I have aspects of male and female genes.....so its a grey area.... that others are trying to put into a box.....

I was under age with I first had sex with a male and 16 when I had sex with a female... then a period of close to 3 years without sex ( long stay in hospital was much of the reason ) but it was not really until I was 34 that I really began to notice the changes... and it was the death of my sister a few years later that was like the final straw that broke the camels back and I started to embrace the changes ... but by that stage I was terming it as being celibate as i really had no interest in sex, partners or relationships again.... just too much pain, hurt and loss....

originally when I joined the site, I referred to it as being celibate and that was a couple of years before I was finally diagnosed with the dysthimia... but the issues had existed in me for most of my life, so I changed the way I referred to myself, to reflect the new understanding of myself so part of what drugstore cowboy uses as a weapon, is actually something that I said that was incorrect about myself ( it was about 3-4 years old that I wrote it ), but I was trying to explain things to others...

there are times I do wonder if its a form of self inflicted shutdown cos of the loss of so many friends and loved ones, a kind of sanity preserving so I could continue to reach out to others and help them, rather than become a victim of my own body and mind..... but what I do know is that the lack of sex drive ( not sexual desire ) can be remedied with meds... but with my partner in the us, I have no desire or interest in going on meds and ending up more likely to sleep with other people while my partner is not here...

when she returns, we will make the decision together and go from there as we are ready to embrace whatever changes it will bring and it may well mean that I could become a person that needs a poly relationship with DD and a man.....something that we have talked about at length......

I will never stop loving the people around me even tho it hurts me inside.... but its not others that are hurting me, its part of the dysthimia that does it... and thats my burden to carry

[darkrainbow]

I have a few things to say here:

#1: This post has nothing to do with bisexuality vs. asexuality. This post whether posted by an asexual or not (I will address this later) is about teenage love between same/opposite sex gendered people at the same time and how confusing that emotion can be when we discover it. I feel that most bisexuals go through similar feelings that LDD has posted here. I happen to be very fortunate in that I have relationships with all three of the people that I loved as a teenager. It is hard to put into words about feelings/needs that we had when we are teenagers and are not sure ourselves what or how to express that to others (especially the people that we loved) and it is even harder to deal with when they are no longer with us. I know that I for one had a very difficult time as a teenager dealing with my sexuality, sexual identity, sexual needs and wants. Like LDD, I wish that I would have been able to discuss these feelings with my partner(s) at that time as it would have saved one of my loves a lot of pain and suffering, but how do you talk to some else about things that you didn't understand at the time yourself. The language just wasn't there. I had no words for what I really wanted and not knowing what I really wanted only added to my confusion and frustration.

#2: I would like to address this whole sexual identity argument that keeps hijacking every thread on this forum that I have ever read. These threads always get killed by this argument over who is more bisexual/who is not really bisexual and to that I say who gives a shit. If someone is brave enough to join a bisexual chat and acknowledge their attraction to both sexes be it sexual or otherwise then kudos to them and we as a community should be thrilled to have an ally at the very least. I am a bisexual woman who has sex with 2 men on a regular basis and have not had sex with another woman in over 15 years. I am currently trying to rekindle my relationship with her as it has been over 15 years since we were together but we have not had sex yet. Does that make me less of a bisexual? I love women so much that it is a running joke between my husband, our male lover and my female lover that I am actually a married lesbian with a male and female lover. The other running joke among us is that I am gay man trapped in a lesbians body. So as you can see sexual identity is just a label we put on people to place them in neat little boxes so we can categorize them so that we can feel better about ourselves. Sexuality and sexual identity is fluid.

#3: I didn't see anywhere in LDD's post or in his profile where he identifies as asexual.

[Long Duck Dong]

darkrainbow

asexuality is not actually a sexuality... it can be the absence of sexual attraction, desire, sex drive, etc...and that is part of the reason why psychs have trouble agreeing on what asexuality actually is..... and while websites hint at aspects of it.... there is no real set determination of what constitutes asexuality....

so don't let the misinformation of drugstore fool you... and the remark I made about being asexual in the quote he uses, is a remark I made a few years ago when I was trying to explain something in simple terms to some people..... and I have stated a number of times what I was actually trying to say, but drugstore likes to use the quote, knowing that its incorrect, as a way of pushing his agenda and so he can continue to rubbish me in the site......

[Jason0012]

This thread has nothing to do with asexuality. NOTHING!!!! The question was a legitimate question ABOUT bisexuality! The original post describes a bisexual experience. Drugstore attacks the sexuality of the OP from the start. There is nothing to be gained by this. What difference does LDD identifying as asexual have to do with that post? Would it matter if he were straight? Or gay? Or trans? Or????????

To the OP, think we all probably went through a rough patch when we became aware of having atraction to both. I personaly was very lucky. I grew up Unitarian Universalist and part of the secular humanist upbringing included a very thourough sex ed program. I was 11 or 12 at the time and as a part of that was given the Kinsey and Kline tests. I was aware of being bisexual early as a result.

[tenni]

"I remember the first time that I realised that I was not just attracted to both genders, but in love with two people of different genders, I dammed near pissed my pants and went into shock.... how could this happen ? what do I do ? how do I act ?......" OP first post

Jason
I agree with you to some extent but I am getting a different understanding than you about what the question is.

I think that the question is about being in love with two people of different genders at the same time. It isn't just about falling in love with a same gender person? I think that the dual falling in love with two genders at the same time is a dynamic issue for bisexuals. Several people have posted about this poly scenario in slightly different terms.

Would the OP clarify?

[Jason0012]

Oops, the dog hit return for me before I was done. I was described then as ominsexual. I still think it well describes my own experiences, though I choose to identify as bisexual as it is nearly the same and requires less explanation. I have experienced love with both men and women. Occasionaly at the same time.Multiple partners does get complicated and is quite overwhelming for a young person. In my experience it was more a fealing of having hit the jackpot than one of being stuck in a dificult situation. But then I was better prepared for such a situation than the other people involved. I can not imagine the horror of loosing them in the manner that LDD describes.

I wish there was a "falling in love with both genders for dummies" !If there is I need a copy, and if not then there needs to be!

[Long Duck Dong]

yeah I will clarify... its a open question.... I was talking about the first time I realised that I had fallen in love with a guy, and not just lust or infatuation... but a feeling that I shared that was very similar to loving a female..... and I am curious about how others felt about being in love with two people of different genders, and how they felt when they realised that they loved / could love two people of different genders.... be it at the same time or different times......

I face the issue of when DD returns and we look seriously at me taking the meds that will alter my asexual nature and artificially create a sex drive, that I face the reality that I am more than likely going to hit a full blown bisexual sexual and emotional era of my life.......and that will include looking at a poly relationship...... as as well as talking about my first experience and sharing with others, and opening the door for them to share their experiences... it also gives me and DD food for thought......

so any experiences that people want to share, is welcome.......

[Jobelorocks]

Well, I have never been in love with a female, but I have had crushes on males and females at the same time. In Jr. High School I had a crush on one of my female friends and I also really liked a male friend of mine as well. Her and I had frequent sleep-overs and did things like taking showers together, grabbing boobs and butts, and pantsing each other and untying each other's bikini tops "as a joke", but in reality I am pretty sure we were both sexually interested in each other. One night she asked me if I ever thought of doing things with another girl and I lied and said, "no" because I was scared and I thought to myself, "I haven't even kissed a boy yet, how can I do stuff with a girl?" Well, I still kind of regret that to this day. I am sure it made her sad and I still think about her.

With him, I liked him throughout Jr. High and into High School and he led me on over and over and then would be with another girl. We would go on dates and he would hold hands with me and even kiss me, then tell me a week later that he asked out so and so and she said yes. This happened so many times. I finally confronted him about it and he denied leading me on and said he was always a good friend, so I decided I was done with that jerk.

[tenni]

hmm
Well, being in love with two people of different genders at different times is not hard once you accept that you are sexually and emotionally attracted to both genders. Socially, it may be awkward depending upon how you present your relationships to others.

I have already stated that I've fortunately not been in love with two people of different genders or even opposite genders at the same time. I think and hope that it is possible but I'm not sure if it requires a specific group of people who may love two people (regardless of gender) at the same time. There are several stories of people feeling this even for opposite gender and being told that they need to make up their mind. They CAN NOT be in love with two people at the same time. So, that is one stereotype that needs a rest...lol It would be so much better for bisexuals if this was a mainstream belief that you can be in love with two people (regardless of gender) at the same time. Its a bit surprising to find that LDD is now accepting that monogamy is not the be all...lol and may be a curse for bisexuals. But good for LDD to explore this issue for himself. Its one that some of us have been defending.

Some of us bisexuals are capable of loving both genders and as jobel writes not all but some of us. I believe that I am capable of loving two people (regardless of gender) at the same time, it just hasn't happened for me. I may have blocked my emotions though if I was in love with one person and a person of a different gender started to turn me on emotionally. I don't know. If I did, I did it unconsciously to some extent. I am able to separate sexual attraction from emotional attraction for both genders as well. Less so for women though.

I don't see myself as omnisexual though. I'm bisexual. I'm very specific about being attracted to two genders and not transexuals in transition.(no offense intended)

[Long Duck Dong]

monogamy has never been a issue with me, tenni...... I will defend a persons right not to be pushed into a open relationship if they can not cope with one in the same way I would defend your right not to be forced into a monogamous relationship if you could not cope with one... and I have made no secret of that in the site, nor the fact that I openly support monogamy, open relationships, casual relationships, poly relationships.... as long as there is honesty and compromise and consent given

notice that I did not refer to any sexuality there... as I do not hold to the reasoning that bisexuals have more need to a open relationship, than any other person that is not coping in a monogamous relationship... and I hold to the same reasoning that not all bisexuals handle open relationships better or need sex more than any other sexuality..... hence its a individual case for each person......

[tenni]

"I will defend a persons right not to be pushed into a open relationship if they can not cope with one in the same way I would defend your right not to be forced into a monogamous relationship if you could not cope with one"

This is a very different issue than most of us are discussing when we discuss bisexual needs. It may be wise to tone that issue down in your writing because it comes across aggressively and negating the bisexual needs for those who are able to love both genders at the same time. Bisexual needs are placed first by me and others. We are not discussing what you discuss. They are different. This is a bisexual website and the situation for sexual bisexuals who want sex with both genders at the same time or emotional relationships with both genders at the same time should be our main focus. Not a side bar issue that you bring up. Let's focus on the bisexuals here on this site.

Now, I will stop before you take us into conflict.

[Long Duck Dong]

nope, I will not tone it down.... the rights of a partner are not secondary to the rights of their bisexual partner.....and by only focusing on the bisexual partner, the other person is being ignored, while they are expected to keep the bisexual happy.....

the issue, tenni, is the bisexual may want their sexual / emotional needs, but are you reading the threads about how some bisexuals are not finding people that will be there to support the bisexuals wants and needs ??? it may have a lot to do with the fact that other people have wants, rights and needs as well......

without the other bisexual / non bisexual partners that we share our world with, we would be doing a lot of wanking...... so yeah... best not to forget the value of a partner and their role in relationships, lest a lot more bisexuals end up single

[zigzig]

I had similar experience. During my summer work in a hotel, when I was still a student. There was a pretty Albanian girl, who openly joked that she was bi. She kept telling me that I'm very attractive and sat on my lap sometimes. I partly regret that I didn't respond to her, because I never been with a girl before back then.

[tenni]

re post 26
Perhaps the words "tone it down" are inappropriate? What I am suggesting is to stay focused on the thread that you started rather than digress to another topic. Whether other threads are discussing other topics is not staying on topic of this thread.

I thought that the thread was about the bisexual inner battles once a libido is charged up. In your case assisted with meds and you finally experience what sexual bisexuality is about again? When you may again feel sexual attraction and love for both a man and a woman at the same time?

[darkeyes]

Maybe this will help.. there is a little too much animosity and personal feeling on this thread as as is common to far far too many threads.. God knows I have many disagreements with Duckie, but as with everyone else I do try to avoid the personal and also misleading if not telling absolute untruths...http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/200912/asexuals-who-are-they-and-why-are-they-important

[Jason0012]

Drugstore, see rule #2. Whatever someones medical issues may be, the discussion had nothing to do with duckies being asexual, which, is none of our business . If I am wrong, do we need to qualify as bisexual in some way before each post? Why are you so insistant on being uncivil?

[void()]

I know of no bisexual who has to take medications to create an artificial sexual attraction to people, or create an artificial sex drive.

Nice to meet you. I used to take testosterone ethanate which increased my sexual drive. Normally do not have much of one for either gender. On the testosterone I become a frantic saytor, at least in comparison to my normal self. It actually wrenches my drive up to normal levels.

But it is a drug used to create a drive. It could be viewed as an artificial drive.

[Jobelorocks]

Nice to meet you. I used to take testosterone ethanate which increased my sexual drive. Normally do not have much of one for either gender. On the testosterone I become a frantic saytor, at least in comparison to my normal self. It actually wrenches my drive up to normal levels.

But it is a drug used to create a drive. It could be viewed as an artificial drive.

Some people just have low hormone levels. I know that I dated one straight guy in college that had to take testosterone because his body just produced so little. It was a medical condition. So ya, his sex drive was artificial, but there is nothing wrong with that. If you have a medical issue, you take the meds if you wish to of course to fix your issue. Like men who are impotent for whatever reason take things like viagra. Maybe their erection is artificial, but it doesn't make that erection meaningless. They have a medical condition and take what they need to because they want to change that issue.

Also I have a friend with a pace maker so he has an "artificial" heart beat. Does that mean he really isn't in the category of people who really have legitimate heartbeats. Just because someone has a medical treatment for something doesn't change the fact they are what they are.

[void()]

Maybe their erection is artificial, but it doesn't make that erection meaningless. They have a medical condition and take what they need to because they want to change that issue.

Also I have a friend with a pace maker so he has an "artificial" heart beat. Does that mean he really isn't in the category of people who really have legitimate heartbeats. Just because someone has a medical treatment for something doesn't change the fact they are what they are.

Never said it was meaningless. My post was intended to state some people do need help. Further, just as you state it does not disqualify a person from anything. Still consider myself bisexual despite patches of having no desire.

[Jobelorocks]

Never said it was meaningless. My post was intended to state some people do need help. Further, just as you state it does not disqualify a person from anything. Still consider myself bisexual despite patches of having no desire.
I wasn't saying you were, I was just trying to add onto what you were saying.