Why is it do hard.

[Sammysaid]

Why is it so dang blasted hard to find someone to have my first bi experience with. I've placed an add on the web site but when things looked promising it always fell through. Can anyone give me some advice on how and where to find someone to explore this side of me.

[void()]

Here are some relevant previous threads. They me be of better advice than I can readily offer at the moment.

hi looking for friends (http://www.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?12845-hi-looking-for-friends&highlight=hard%3F)
Being Bi is so hard and so lonely. (http://www.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?12646-Being-Bi-is-so-hard-and-so-lonely&highlight=hard%3F)

There are possibly more available upon searching via the site's search, or via using Google which indexes the site. Please understand I'm not posting this as snide, arrogant or maliciously in any way. Often, topics are repeated here, others may supply better advice or word something more appropriately. Not all of us are well gifted in social discourse.

[falcondfw]

Why is it so dang blasted hard to find someone to have my first bi experience with. I've placed an add on the web site but when things looked promising it always fell through. Can anyone give me some advice on how and where to find someone to explore this side of me.

Sammy,

You have to understand. There are a lot of things to consider.

Foremost is that there are so many diseases out there. Even if you are DDF, the other person does not know that for sure. Even a doctor's note can be faked or paid for.

Further, it is a BIG step for many people. Admitting you are bi is not like admitting you like chocolate.
"How will co-workers react to me if they know?" "How will spouse react to me if I tell her?" "How will family and friends react if they find out?"
Serious stuff sammy. Stay patient and you will find the right one to have your experience with.

[i_shoot_blanks]

Try looking on Silver Daddies site. There are gay and bi guys on there and a lot are looking for a very special buddy.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Try coming on FetLife.com and placing an ad in the Bay Area Kinksters, and see what ya find, Hon. ;} I'm TheMinx on there..:}
Minx

[bradf52]

Hey sammysaid

Hell man I moved from the SF bay Area (Hayward) in 2006 and came here to Presque Isle Maine!!!!!!!

I had No trouble finding boyfriends while I was living there. I found my boyfriend on AOL Forums! Also found guys to hang out with on Adultfriendfinder and Outpersonals. Just give it some time and I think you will be fine!

You want to know what bad is moving from the Bay Area to here!!! I haven't even smelled a man in two years little alone touch one. But I still keep the search on!! Sooner or later I will find someone!!

Good Luck

Brad

[dick_pumper]

Your profile says you are 53. What kind of guys are you looking to pick up? What do you have to offer them? I am 45, would I like to find a 21 yr old? Maybe, most people guess my age at mid 30's btw, but I wouldn't expect a 21 yr old to be interested because of my age. I mean outside of liking men, what do we have in common? The things he knows in his life didn't exist when I was born, DVD's CD's etc.
Are you looking to land a guy with a killer hot body? Is yours? If you are fat don't waste your time trying to score on perfect bod guys, Sure, you might find one that likes older or heavy guys but more then likely not.

[Sammysaid]

Well let me just say I'm looking for someone close to my age, I'm not in perfect shape so I don't expect the perfect body. I should have mentioned that I'm married and she has no idea that I have these feelings, and she won't find out either. I have placed an ad on this site but nothing materialized. I'm just trying to find someone like me so I can have my first experience and see if I like it. My question was just asking if anyone else has run into this problem. Thanks for the info on the other sites to try.

[chtampa]

My wife and I have searched for the elusive male unicorn for a while on 4 different websites. Bottom line is, for some reason, the men we come in contact with are flakes. Bi-wannabes, married guys desperate for an outside fling and don't followup, no shows after a lot of talk and then agree to a meeting. Other couples say we will be lucky to find 1 in 10 that actually show.

[Sammysaid]

I'm not looking to have an affair with a woman, I want to have I guess an affair with a man. I wouldn't mind if a woman watched, but my main goal is with a man to see if I would actually like it. Thanks for the advise. Maybe we can chat over the Internet. Thanks again.

[FunE1]

My first thought was as some others: you live in the Bay area... it should not be that difficult, really.

If you're only posting here, I suspect it will be difficult. You'll want to post on a number of different sites (Adult Friend Finder, FetLife, etc.). Just be honest about what you're looking for and post some recent pics and then be ACTIVE on those websites: post in blogs, chats, etc. As the real people who are seriously looking discover that YOU are a real person, seriously looking, the number of fakes & no shows will diminish. Also, don't spend a lot of, if any, time on people who don't have profile pics or largely blank profiles. Look for the people who appear to be active on the websites you're viewing and who seem to visit regularly.

Most important: keep trying... there are lots of people who are playing at the whole "bi" thing and/or getting together thing... it takes a while to learn how to suss them out, but when you do, you'll be golden.

Happy hunting!

[Gearbox]

Yes I'd go with the recent pic advice. From what I gather, 'no pic' profiles are avoided like the plague by many.
I don't get annoyed at 'no shows'. Not like I used to. You have to consider 'first times' to be a bit nerve racking, and also that when somebody makes plans with you, they are HORNY, and that wears off.
It' pointless taking it personally, or letting it put you off.

I've been chatting to some bi-curious blokes for months (on & off), and I tell them that I fully expect them to chicken out, and that's fine as long as they let me know so I can make use of my time. No hard feelings, and the offer is still there. To be honest, I'd crap myself if I was meeting me too.lol

[darkeyes]

To be honest, I'd crap myself if I was meeting me too.lol
Squidge squidge squidge squidge squidge.. tee hee:tongue::kiss:

[Gearbox]

Squidge squidge squidge squidge squidge.. tee hee:tongue::kiss:
Well I know how sincere my, "No it's very comfy up there really! And I'm very gentle anyway.", is.:rolleyes:

[12voltman59]

Even though I have met and been with people from this site over the years I have been here---this site really is more a "community" one over one designed as a "dating site" as it were. As a suggestion for a site that I have had pretty good success meeting other guys is Squirt.org----it seems to be a very popular site that has many guys from cities all over the world. Of course---you do have to take your time when people do contact you in communicating with them---what I tend to do is to talk for a time before we ever meet-then when we meet "for real"--we do that in a neutral, safe, public place--then have a cup of coffee or something of that sort--chat a bit and all---then go off the get even more acquainted, if you catch my drift.

Even though that site is designed as a "cruising site" for hook ups and such----the guys that I have met from that site have been nice, safe, pleasant and such as a rule.

You just have to sort of develop your own vetting process-but as far as things falling through----that is pretty common----I have had far more meetings set up that never happened than I have ever met for real--I think there are lots of reasons for those meetings to have never happened----and with those that did----the reason the person didn't come through has nothing at all to do with you, but with them--and I do admit---I have "stood a few people up" myself when I was set to go meet them---because "that little voice inside my head" was giving me warning messages that I should not meet them at all---and ya know----whether the other person or I bailed on a meet---I think that the meets never came off----was a good and proper thing.

Just give it time---it took me like two years from the time I came here till I finally met with someone from here or any of the other sites I am a member of.

[Randypan]

You may also consider changing from Bay Area to Central Valley. I'm in Fairfield and Tracy is over 70 Miles from me. Most guys, I have found, do not want to go very far to "initiate" someone. Like many have said on here, you need to hit multiple sites. I've met the most on http://bearforest.com. But the biggest thing is to be patient. Another option would be to go somplace like here: http://steamworksonline.com/berkeley/berkeley.html.