Start of your sex(ual) life

[Laidbackdudeixi]

Been reading a lot of threads on this board and don't think I've come across this topic yet, so thought I'd start one.

Not a therapist here and haven't done nearly as much counseling as I probably should but I'm curious about discussing the seeds of sexuality and how they have manifest in adult life. We all discover our bodies and their interactions with others at different times and under different circumstances and I'm curious about how those things color who we become.

I'm a recently self-labeled bi guy. Grew up an only child in a single parent household till my mom remarried and had crazy friction with my stepfather almost from the beginning.

I was surrounded by male cousins roughly 2-6 years older for most of my formative years and I was sometimes picked on by them, and when it came to friends of my own, I can remember wanting to be close to male friends, presumably because I had no siblings of my own. I often wonder if that desire to see how I compared with other guys played any role in my eventual attraction.

There was a little sexual abuse in the young years (which I'm surprised to hear was apparently far more common than I would have guessed). I was exposed to sexual content super early (I'd guess somewhere around 8 or 9) and pretty early learned it was something to be hidden and not discussed. I'm still discovering to what degree that is still haunting me. Also grew up in a hyper religious family where sex (especially any deviations from the 'norm') was largely taboo. I know this combination has put a damper on how adventurous I was sexually in my young prime (15-25, where I have heard stories of guys accomplishing amazing sexual feats with women and men)

I was a bit of a late bloomer with girls... I had a number of chick friends but always felt awkward when any expressed interest in me and the guilt of some of the things listed above definitely factored into self image and self esteem... Things that I'm finding are crucial for healthy sexual identity. Once I got going, I think I've held my own but I do wish I was more sexually aggressive. That part is sort of repressed.

With men, I've always felt sort of second string and the guys I have been involved with have by and large been beta males, other artist, nerd types. Some would argue this is a "type" I must be interested in... I'm sure there's more to be mined there.


Anyway, that's more about me than you wanted to read, but I'm really hoping a conversation can spring up about how some others developed sexually. It's not something I hear discussed often.

[MyTimeNow]

Interesting.

I too was exposed to sexuality at an early age through porn and magazines. I had a normal upbringing, but just happened to be a little more sexual than most of my peers before they too started to get to that age. I had a pretty normal sex life (some girls were just better than others) and I was pretty content with most of the experiences I've had. I was always very sexual and would try anything once....and have.

As with all men (whether they admit it or not), I had a normal curiosity of what it would be like to be with another guy, but just never followed up with it. I've had my chances, as several men tried to pick me up over the years, but I just never went for it (I wasn't attracted to men - and I'm still not - but the sexuality of some things kept the curiosity going). Finally a few years ago, I decided to just go for it and I did. Pretty basic, but I've been looking to do a little more, since I wasn't at all turned off and more turned on.

I was an only child as well, so I don't know where certain things came from, but watching a lot of porn in my teen years definitely was an influence in some ways. The curiosity to be with another man was always there in some capacity (sometimes minor, sometimes more). I don't consider myself a full fledged bi, more bi-tendencies, orally bi, or 25% bi - but labels are just stupid in the grand scheme. I just consider myself a very sexual person and leave it at that. In a lot of ways, though I've done quite a lot, I'm still developing sexually.

[Laidbackdudeixi]

I like that idea of still being in development. There's a lot of potential left that way.

[StupidlyHappy]

My sexual life began innocently enough - I was 11 and with my best friend (12) at the time. We were hiking in a wooded area behind our middle school and found a Hustler magazine. Next thing I knew we had stripped and were stroking our now very hard cocks. That was the first time I made myself cum and saw another cum. We did this a few times that summer but nothing more than stroking in front of each other.

A year later an older guy (2 years older than me) in the neighborhood asked me to hang out with him. I was in awe and said sure. We were being boys in that same wooded area again and the next thing I knew he had his shorts around his ankles and his hard-on pointing straight at me. He grabbed me and told me to suck him. I said no way, so he hit me and I fell. He said it again and pushed his cock in my face. I figured what the hell, better than getting the crap beat out of me, so I sucked on him. I started to get into it and he was getting close to cumming. The next thing I know he pushes me to the ground and runs away. I was amazed that he never said anything to anyone and actually treated me decently throughout high school.

My first experience with the opposite sex did not come until my senior year in high school. Now she was into trying different things - our first sexual experience she offered to go down on me. I said sure and she said only after I do. I said, I'll gladly eat you, she said no, eat yourself. WHAT?? I said I can't do that. Well the next thing I know my feet are over my head and the head of my cock is in my mouth. She got so hot after that, it was one of the best nights of sex for me.

Now I am married to a prude, homophobic, no sex desiring woman. So go figure. I wonder if that is why I have the desire to be with another guy. Maybe that would be a good topic - How many guys with bi desires are in a sexless marriage?

[welickit]

Sounds like you need to keep up with the counseling sessions.

[i_shoot_blanks]

Mine started at about the age of eight or nine. The girl next door asked if I knew what a "bot" was, and of course I didn't. She then pointed to her ass. We talked more and curiosity increased. We ended up in the old chicken house, her with her skirt pulled up and panties around her ankles; me with my pants and underwear around my ankles. It was my first erection. We touched each others genitals and asses. After a few more times, we included another little girl from the neighborhood, just the three of us, displaying our genital and touching each other. That's as far as it ever went. I ran into the second "little girl" while in college, but the subject never came up.

[Implanted]

It's really hard to say where the start of my sexual life was. The first time I ever had a crush on a girl was in kindergarten. I remember we wrapped ourselves in the window curtain in the corner behind the shelf with all the toys on it so as not to be seen and gave each other a peck on the lips. I though it was pretty cool, and so did she. I remember having crushes on her and several other girls by the time I was in grade 3.

When I was 11, I discovered a playboy magazine under my dad's side of the bed and was entranced by the blond woman in the centerfold of that issue with unusually large breasts. I knew it made my dick hard, but I didn't discover masturbation until just after I turned 13. In some ways, it was traumatic for me because I was heavily entrenched in born-again-Christian-idealism by that time. But the fact was I was really interested in knowing what it was like to have sex.

I got my first chance when I was 14, but it wasn't a great experience. I've written about it and may post it in my blog in the near future because when I look back at it, I was so naive, it was rather comic.

The first time I found myself attracted to men was much later in life. I was in my mid 20's and had just separated from my ex-wife when she finally admitted she was a lesbian. I made it a point to double check my desires. Then, I knew I was curious, but I was much more attracted to women. I didn't have my first experience with a male until I was in my mid thirties.

So there it is in a nutshell, more of a brief overview of my sexuality over the years than anything, but you get the point. Thanks for asking the question in the first place, Laidbackdudeixi.

[Laidbackdudeixi]

For sure, Implanted... I'm really intrigued by how differently we learn to do the same thing and how we discover our equipment.
I imagine without so much stigma around how we explore and share our bodies, there would be a lot of freed up mind space for far healthier thoughts. I've always been of the mind that repression leads to rebellion. We must push back against the things we're told not to do. Does that plant a seed of later sexual curiosity or terror about being in sexual contact with another guy? I imagine it might.

StupidlyHappy's story for example, strikes me because in a way another guy clearly dominated him and pressured him into a sexual scenario. The question one begins to ask later, especially if there was arousal involved, was... Did I like it? Was it what I wanted?, when the reality is that someone else made that choice for you.

I can remember playing "doctor" with kids, so I obviously feel some kind of innate sexual curiosity rests in most beings, however innocently... I'm not sure if there's a way to have that thing remain untainted by the outside adult world. I had no idea what the Playboy Mag was for when I came across it. I remember it was taboo. It was thrilling to be seeing a naked woman, in part because we aren't supposed to see people naked.

Keep the stories coming.

[MyTimeNow]

When I was about 11-12, I was playing with this kid at a family's friend's house. He wanted to play some sort of "doctor" game, which meant me reaching down his pants - though I had some curiosity back then, I chickened out of course. Wondered how things would have been different (if at all) had that been my first physical sexual experience instead of with a girl. When I was a kid, there was no "bisexual" as far as I knew, but gay or straight. I had hoped for something along the lines of StupidlyHappy's experience, but without the forcing - but it never did happen. I guess things do happen for a reason. I kept the curiosity as one would keep change in their pocket and just had my experiences with women. I turned down quite a few men in my 20's, but here I am now, looking for experiences. Wonder just how different things would have been had they happened in a different way.

As far as Playboy, I remember seeing Playboy early and thinking this was it as far as the female body went, but then Penthouse came along and I saw a lot more detail. Porn sealed the deal for me with my influence. I must've affected 1 or 2 friend's sexual development back then, because I showed them the porns probably before they were ready. But hey, if not me, could've been someone else ;)

[louther]

I've been sorta interested in this topic myself. I was also sexually abused at an early age I guess I was around 5 or 6 and the school bus dropped me of at my grandma's after school, had a cousin that lived right next door he was about 12 or 13 I'd guess, and we used to spend time together playing in the woods, swimming in the creek, normal stuff kids do. One day he showed me what jerking off was, to say the least I was impressed having never seen anything like that. Well of course as it usually does that lead to a game of show & tell. Later he would have me suck him and he would suck me as well I do remember very some of our encounters and I remember it all feeling great. Of course all of this playing was shrouded in secrecy, but we had plenty of time alone outside so having time to play was never an issue. Eventually it got to him having me fuck his ass, and he would always cum for me generally by jerking off. He never made me feel bad or hurt me and eventually he moved away or got older and bored with what we did. I never really gave it much thought as to why it was over.

Well of course I had to share my new found knowledge and messed around with one of the neighbor girls mostly oral play and fingering. I also played with her younger brother as well. I added to just illustrate the cycle of abuse & it's impact. There were a few kids I had fun with up until I was say 11 and then I spent most of my time just jerking off alone since I was now able to cum and I didn't have anyone that was willing to play around. At 15 I got my first girlfriend and truly lost my virginity. I didn't give much thought to guys or sex with guys, although I do remember how all my guy friends got all freaked about gays and man to man sex. I remember thinking that it really didn't bother me at all and in fact would probably suck a guy off if I was given the opportunity. I of course never shared that thought.

So from about 15 into my 20s I was only with girls "the social norm". I was happy and I loved sex with girls and never really thought about men or felt an attraction to men. In my early 20s I had an experience with a guy I met he basically seduced me and we traded oral tho not to completion we both finished ourselves off with our hands.

That was my last encounter with men, tho I find myself desiring to try it again. I have even told my wife about the desires, and luckily for me she is totally onboard, and even turned on by the idea of me sucking a cock. It's been a couple years since we talked about it and I find myself too nervous, scared, or whatever to actually move forward. I have talked to guys online, can do some great sexting and I get real turned on by porn bisexual, gay and straight. I do find that after I view gay porn and get off, I feel guilty or dirty like that shouldn't turn me on but it does!

So I guess I have wondered for a while had I not been introduced to sex so early and had I not had those early gay encounters with my cousin would gay sex freak me out like most guys? And what impact did that experience have on my current sex life? I think that it definitely made me more open & tolerant, as well as gave me a view of sex many guys avoid so they are not labeled gay or faggot. I personally don't like labels and I like to view sex as just that, sex and like everything else in my life I want to experience all that I can!

Sorry for the book, maybe I shoulda made this a blog lol

[ohbimale]

I was around 13 years old and friends with another guy, same age. He really liked jerking off. The first time I was sexually involved with someone was with him, jerking him off. I liked the way his cock felt. Once we were caught that was it! I never stopped desring cock.

The next time I got cock was sucking off a guy while his girlfriend watched. She cum just from watching, it was so hot! He and I became regular sex buds. Damn I like sucking cock.

[anacsa]

I had two older brothers who had managed to amass quite a large porno mag collection - and not just your playboy, penthouse, hustler variety, but lots of hardcore stuff with people fucking. Of course where you have guys and pornography you have jerking off, and after walking in on each of them in mid stroke on a few occasions, one of them decided to show me what they were up to. I was still too young to cum, but i definitely would climax, even if it was a dry orgasm.

After seeing people naked in their magazines, i wanted to see some of my classmates naked. This girl Cara and i ended up in the area of our second grade class where we hung all of our coats and we both puled our pants down and showed off our wares. after we zipped back up and happily exited i had a few other classmates who wanted to do the same and from that point it was on. Doctor time.

Unfortunately the wheels fell off of my sexual revolution when a mom called my mom and gave a negative review of my doctor skills. shortly after that my oldest brother started forcing me to blow him under threat of letting "everyone" know that i was a "fag" and had been playing around with boys as well as girls. All of that BS put me on the sidelines for years as far as sexual contact with others but i was able to really home my masturbation skills during those years and to this day besides driving and joint rolling, jerking off is definitely a skill that i have mastered without a doubt.

[Laidbackdudeixi]

Anacsa,

Obviously, I'm just butting my nose in your business but how old are you now? How old is your brother? Do you ever mention him forcing you to blow him? Has it had any effect on your adult relationship? Do you think back on that time negatively or positively?

I ask because I have pretty negative feelings toward the relatives who were older than me who sorta "initiated" me in the ways of the cock. I don't know if i resent being bi, but I definitely resent the way it was introduced. I imagine no one has the idyllic intro to sex, but I could think of it much more positively if it had been a mutual consentual start for me.

[a2smith09]

Thank goodness I didnt have a traumatic initiation to sex as many of you guys did. I started at a very young age playing doctor and naked games with the neighborhood kids and some cousins. I guess I was 5 when it all started. I recall an insatiable curiosity and i loved playing with myself, having others play with me and playing with others too. This went on till I was about 11. I was also aa serial maturbator.

I hit puberty and started ejacularing when I was around 13
Around then my ffriends and I started camping in back yards and circle jerking while reading porn in the tents. by the time I was 14 p e of those friends and I started jacking each other off and blowing each other. It was a very benign and wonderful introduction to sex.

[12voltman59]

Thankfully I never had any adult, especially any male ones, who attempted to get me to have sex with them when I was very young.

I know that some guys who I have talked to in recent years have relayed that this happened to them-- with them telling me it was something they liked and wanted. I guess I do have to go with my time as a probation officer to feel that it is a bad thing for adults and young children to have sexual relations of this sort even if the younger person wants it or even initiates it.

That said----I did have my first sexual contact (such as it was) with another boy of my same relative age---we were both around 8 or 9 and as such---our tiny little mushroom cocks were not yet sexually functional---but we sure did try our darnedest to do all we could.

We wound up playing naked together, engaging in our version of wrestling and such---with neither of us trying to be the winner, if ya know what I mean!! We tried to suck one another, my buddy liked to rub his behind on my cock and we did things like walk naked out in the yard one night when we did a sleep over at my house in my yard in the "fort" my dad and I had built in a stand of trees at the far end of our property and we did wind up rolling in the wet grass together, making out. That was fun.

That time of us doing those things quickly passed and his family moved on so I never saw him again.

In my mid-teens, at age 15, I had not yet had much luck with the girls, but got with another guy of the same age and we wound up doing some sexual acts, this time with working parts--that included mutual jacking off and sucking each other.

Not long after that, I did "discover" and wound up actually "having luck" with the girls---even though this buddy and I had planned to get together again--we lived in cities several hundred miles apart----that never happened because sadly----that next spring----at 16 years of age while riding his dirt bike--he had an accident on it and was killed.

After that---I only had a few brief, fleeting things with other guys and went on for almost 20 years before I did anything with another guy once I got past my early to mid 20s.

I never did marry for whatever reason and do have to say that while I certainly do enjoy the company of women on various levels---I have sure come to find that I also very much enjoy the company of other guys----both sexually and increasingly---for other reasons that go beyond sex as well, so I do have to say my sexuality is still evolving and who knows what turns it will take.

[anacsa]

My brother is in his early 50's now, I did mention it to him at least once but he acted like he didn't know what iu was talking about. He also introduced me to drugs when i was in my early teens, not a great brother or person in general. I don't stay in touch with him and that's cool with me. I definitely don't look back at my experience with him with anything but negativity. It wasn't even the physical act but the years of mental abuse and torment after it happened. He was a real asshole and went out of his way to make me miserable.

I had already fooled around with a couple of my guy friends by the time he had me blow him, so it wasn't his dick that bothered me but the douchebag it was attached to that was the problem.


Anacsa,

Obviously, I'm just butting my nose in your business but how old are you now? How old is your brother? Do you ever mention him forcing you to blow him? Has it had any effect on your adult relationship? Do you think back on that time negatively or positively?

I ask because I have pretty negative feelings toward the relatives who were older than me who sorta "initiated" me in the ways of the cock. I don't know if i resent being bi, but I definitely resent the way it was introduced. I imagine no one has the idyllic intro to sex, but I could think of it much more positively if it had been a mutual consentual start for me.

[innaminka]

My sexuality started with self- exploration after i hit puberty. All of a sudden I've got little boobs with sensitive nipples, fur growing between my legs along with menstruation, my "bits" becoming a place of pleasurable exploration.
being "felt up" for the first time was a watershed moment - not necessarily great (it wasn't) but the monstrous power of sex was for the first time relayed to me in a concrete way.
Even tho it was through clothing - to feel a hard penis and to see first hand the effect that could have on a boy. Then for me, to have a (clumsy, teen) hand rub my boobs and push against my front through my jeans caused certain reactions.
Maybe that was where the 'expectation' of hetero sex originated, and my need for female/female relationships (i.e. sex!!) was well and truly sublimated for close on 15 years.

[tommyswing]

My first memory is when I was about five years, I was in a bathtub with a girl about three. When I saw her little slit, I wanted that more than anything, I just had to have it. I didn't know why I wanted it or what I would do with it, but I had this primal urge. I fell in love with a girl at the age of 13, and was obsessed with her, just being near her I was ready to cum. At the same age I also had a friend the same age who seduced me. His cock was huge fat and long, we jerked each other off everyday. I really wanted to suck his cock so badly, but didn't want to labeled a fag. Little did I know this wold be a lifetime pattern.

[mas8092]

I didn't become interedted in cock unti I was in my early 29's. Became more interested in my late 30's. I'm 48 and sucked my first at age 46. Loved it. Still love women, but now love to suck men and receive their cocks.

[DiamondDog]

Everyone's sexuality and even sexual preferences are different, and they occur differently. Some people like myself accept ourselves and come out very early, others come out later in life, and others don't come out at all.

I became active, and publically identified as gay first at a very young age. I actually came out at school in front of my class; but I was so young that nobody believed me. No I never got beat up and I was not ostracized by my friends, peers, or teachers.

Then a few years later as a teenager I accepted myself as bisexual at a young age and I came out again. I never had to come out to my mom since she could tell I was not heterosexual. I was not forced, coerced, molested/raped, or did not have anything illegal happen since I was with male peers and friends.

I was not sexually attracted to the opposite gender or girls/women until I was in my mid-teenage years. Before that I was sexually attracted only to the same gender and I knew this at a young age and so did my mother so I never had to really come out to her. I was raised in a very liberal household and even though my parents are not young they have always been accepting of LGBT people and have a fair amount of gay male friends. I grew up in a household that was Christian/pluralistically spiritual, and sort of agnostic but it wasn't until I was a lot older I saw how some people did not like people who are not heterosexual. Sex was not a taboo, something to be ashamed of, or something not discussed by my family.

I'm not vanilla but there's nothing wrong with that. I've been practicing and out about being into various kinks and consensual BDSM for decades.

My inclinations for consensual BDSM, kinks, and fetishes came about naturally as they do in people who are into these things sexually. If you want I can elaborate more about this in another post.

My friends and family know all about how I'm into BDSM and how I'm not vanilla so it's not a big deal to me or them.

I can fall in love and have relationships with both men and women, and I'm equally attracted to both genders. I've had more dating, LTRs, and even more sexual experiences with my own gender though.

My family and friends know, about my bisexuality and have for a long time. Anyone could go on any number of websites I'm on and find out I'm bisexual since it's not a secret, something to keep hidden, or something to be ashamed of. I don't give a fuck if society accepts me or not.

[Laidbackdudeixi]

great that you were so self-aware at such a young age.

[Laidbackdudeixi]

bump^