darkeyes
Sep 29, 2012, 11:23 AM
The fact of life is that most people have it... in the UK probably 70 or 80%.. maybe even up to the 95% that the author of this article http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/sep/24/moral-case-for-sex-before-marriage claims is the case for the US, which I look at slightly suspiciously since she doest say if she has whipped the figure off the top of her head or it comes from somewhere or t'otha of repute.. but the general thing is peeps do get laid before they get wed.. in the case of gay, lesbian and bi peeps... this is especially true since marriage isn't everywhere for the likes of us, even here where the law to allow same sex marriage is currently winding its weary way through the Scottish Parliament.. but should be law by the spring or early summer... my partner and I for those who don't know are currently in a civil partnership...almost but not quite legally wed... tho its what we say we are..and when we can... it will be the full shebang and another excuse for us to declare our love and commitment.. and of course..a good knees up for me m8s and family... it's a bugger having to do it all over again but I am looking forward to it... and I know Kate is... whatever.. I know we weren't virgins when we first took the plunge (to men as it happens not to each other) and hadn't been since our middle teens. Pair a tarts that we are *laffs*..
Now I go along with the author more or less on much of what she says in her article... generally it sounds about right to me and matches me own thoughts about sex before marriage... do u buy a car without test driving it? And for that matter, if u are flogging something as in working condition on ebay, don't u make sure all the parts are in working order? U may have to say it is second hand but that's no problem and is honest selling...but it does raise the question.. just how true is it of those of us who are not heterosexual? Just how when they day comes that our societies fully embrace same sex marriage, just what difference will it make to us whether or not we get laid before or not? Would it make us more likely to stay the course in our relationships as the author claims? Open up our relationships and or make us more likely to be faithful? Will it whatever it does make marriages less likely to break up if we just embraced sex as fun, exciting and not dirty and impure.. and while we are at it recognise that marital virgins really are becoming increasingly a fiction and not look down our noses at a girl just cos she isn't and as so many do look up to lad cos he does the same thing and is treated as Jack the lad..... someone to be sneakily envious of among his peers and admired.
I don't go along with everything she says... am not sure everyone having it away before they ever get near taking vows will make them stay the course for a start whether or not the person they had been having it away with previously was their intended.... but maybe more honesty in marriage and relationships might.. how it would affect the queer world I have no idea... in principle you would think much the same as for heterosexuals.. but am not sure that will be the case.. we are the same but different...I'm a gay woman "married" in a legal civil union with a bi girl.. and we will be married properly in accord with the new law as soon as we are allowed.. such mixed marriages make that problematical but I think it would improve our lot whether or not we are together till death us do part..
But the article says one thing... ffs lets just accept that sex b4 marriage happens and stop trying to shame the world into conforming with religious and societal views which just aren't real... and probably never were..it's about time we got society to split from previous generational values instilled in them by their religions that no one likes a tart so stay pure and innocent until u are wed... cos the reality is that so few of us do these days... and I doubt if we ever did.. I know my mum and dad were no virgins when they met each other far less b4 they got hitched.. dirty buggers *laffs*.. and they stuck it out and were tremendously happy for well over 40 years and they brought us up pretty free and with healthy attitudes about sex and we are doing the same with our kids.. wont happen to everyone of course.. but it is about time we changed this tripe about sex and marriage.. before peeps get hitched they should enjoy it and have fun.. but will it make us more likely to stay the course? Dunno.. but it will at least stop the fucking guilt complex so many have and that can only be good..and might even help with some of the other arguments we have on this sight for instance about getting laid and with whom we are getting laid, why and about cheating...
Now I go along with the author more or less on much of what she says in her article... generally it sounds about right to me and matches me own thoughts about sex before marriage... do u buy a car without test driving it? And for that matter, if u are flogging something as in working condition on ebay, don't u make sure all the parts are in working order? U may have to say it is second hand but that's no problem and is honest selling...but it does raise the question.. just how true is it of those of us who are not heterosexual? Just how when they day comes that our societies fully embrace same sex marriage, just what difference will it make to us whether or not we get laid before or not? Would it make us more likely to stay the course in our relationships as the author claims? Open up our relationships and or make us more likely to be faithful? Will it whatever it does make marriages less likely to break up if we just embraced sex as fun, exciting and not dirty and impure.. and while we are at it recognise that marital virgins really are becoming increasingly a fiction and not look down our noses at a girl just cos she isn't and as so many do look up to lad cos he does the same thing and is treated as Jack the lad..... someone to be sneakily envious of among his peers and admired.
I don't go along with everything she says... am not sure everyone having it away before they ever get near taking vows will make them stay the course for a start whether or not the person they had been having it away with previously was their intended.... but maybe more honesty in marriage and relationships might.. how it would affect the queer world I have no idea... in principle you would think much the same as for heterosexuals.. but am not sure that will be the case.. we are the same but different...I'm a gay woman "married" in a legal civil union with a bi girl.. and we will be married properly in accord with the new law as soon as we are allowed.. such mixed marriages make that problematical but I think it would improve our lot whether or not we are together till death us do part..
But the article says one thing... ffs lets just accept that sex b4 marriage happens and stop trying to shame the world into conforming with religious and societal views which just aren't real... and probably never were..it's about time we got society to split from previous generational values instilled in them by their religions that no one likes a tart so stay pure and innocent until u are wed... cos the reality is that so few of us do these days... and I doubt if we ever did.. I know my mum and dad were no virgins when they met each other far less b4 they got hitched.. dirty buggers *laffs*.. and they stuck it out and were tremendously happy for well over 40 years and they brought us up pretty free and with healthy attitudes about sex and we are doing the same with our kids.. wont happen to everyone of course.. but it is about time we changed this tripe about sex and marriage.. before peeps get hitched they should enjoy it and have fun.. but will it make us more likely to stay the course? Dunno.. but it will at least stop the fucking guilt complex so many have and that can only be good..and might even help with some of the other arguments we have on this sight for instance about getting laid and with whom we are getting laid, why and about cheating...