A different aspect of bisexuality

[McBice]

I thought about anaspect of bisexuality that I haven’t seen discussed on this forum. Since itconcerns my late 2nd wife, Jean and her bisexuality, I’ll give alittle background first.
We were togetherfrom June 1986 until February 1998 when we separated and our divorce was finalin April 1999. She passed away in April 2000. We had, from the very beginning, avery open and honest relationship and she told me she was bisexual, with a veryheavy emphasis on the sexual part of that term, very early on. Her personality(Think Barbara Streisand in “What’s Up Doc”) was very out-going and alwayshappy and that plays a big part in this aspect of bisexuality. She introducedme to and encouraged me to explore my own bisexuality in the early years of ourrelationship and for that I will forever be thankful. She worked as an exoticdancer and we were involved in the swing lifestyle during the later years ofour relationship. For her, life in general, but especially sex, was a hugesmorgasbord and she wanted to try everything and the things she liked, shewanted a lot more of.
During the years wewere together, she had sex with quite a few women. Some were close friends,some were casual friends. Sometimes in threesomes with me, sometimes inthreesomes with another male, sometimes one on one, sometimes in a swing partysetting. Some of the women she had sex with are still good friends of mine andthey are the ones I am focusing on here. Jean was their only same-sex experienceand they identify themselves as straight and here’s where we get into thiscurious aspect of bisexuality. Since they each had sex with her on numerousoccasions, it’s not exactly experimenting…they liked it enough to do it again.Given a good set of circumstances, would these same women have sex with anotherwoman? Probably not. It’s just not what they are into. If they could have sexwith Jean again? That gets a big, “Oh hell yes”.
Nowgranted, I didn’t take any kind of scientific poll of my friends and I couldvery well be wrong about what they would or wouldn’t do, but I’m prettyreasonably sure I know them well enough to be able to pose the thought. Can aperson be more turned on by the same sex partner than the same sex idea? I doknow that for Jean, it was about what she found erotic, regardless of gender. Isometimes think that rubbed off on a lot of the people in her life.

[whispering]

Can a person be more turned on by the same sex partner than the same sex idea? Absolutely! In one way or another, that's true for everyone. I have a couple of thoughts on what you said. I think you're confusing "bi" with "promiscuous". Just as some people have, let's say, adulterous sex, just once, because the conditions were ripe for it, in the same way some of the women who met Jean fell for another woman for the first time. Whether that's the first and only time depends on who they meet and when and who they are. It's no different for someone having sex with their office mate than it is for anything else, including bisexuality. Some do it a lot, some just once. I would wager that, given the right woman in their lives, most of Jean's friends would do it again....




I thought about anaspect of bisexuality that I haven’t seen discussed on this forum. Since itconcerns my late 2nd wife, Jean and her bisexuality, I’ll give alittle background first.
We were togetherfrom June 1986 until February 1998 when we separated and our divorce was finalin April 1999. She passed away in April 2000. We had, from the very beginning, avery open and honest relationship and she told me she was bisexual, with a veryheavy emphasis on the sexual part of that term, very early on. Her personality(Think Barbara Streisand in “What’s Up Doc”) was very out-going and alwayshappy and that plays a big part in this aspect of bisexuality. She introducedme to and encouraged me to explore my own bisexuality in the early years of ourrelationship and for that I will forever be thankful. She worked as an exoticdancer and we were involved in the swing lifestyle during the later years ofour relationship. For her, life in general, but especially sex, was a hugesmorgasbord and she wanted to try everything and the things she liked, shewanted a lot more of.
During the years wewere together, she had sex with quite a few women. Some were close friends,some were casual friends. Sometimes in threesomes with me, sometimes inthreesomes with another male, sometimes one on one, sometimes in a swing partysetting. Some of the women she had sex with are still good friends of mine andthey are the ones I am focusing on here. Jean was their only same-sex experienceand they identify themselves as straight and here’s where we get into thiscurious aspect of bisexuality. Since they each had sex with her on numerousoccasions, it’s not exactly experimenting…they liked it enough to do it again.Given a good set of circumstances, would these same women have sex with anotherwoman? Probably not. It’s just not what they are into. If they could have sexwith Jean again? That gets a big, “Oh hell yes”.
Nowgranted, I didn’t take any kind of scientific poll of my friends and I couldvery well be wrong about what they would or wouldn’t do, but I’m prettyreasonably sure I know them well enough to be able to pose the thought. Can aperson be more turned on by the same sex partner than the same sex idea? I doknow that for Jean, it was about what she found erotic, regardless of gender. Isometimes think that rubbed off on a lot of the people in her life.

[Gearbox]

I remember 80's pop/rock singer Shaking Stevens saying in an interview that he's completely straight, but he was sexually attracted to Elvis. Could be due to idolism?

[darkeyes]

.. kinda linked... those ole time chatters will mind I had a huge thing for JD at 1 time:yikes2:... b4 I got sense.... still find 'im cute as guys go.. but for huge read mild passing interest in 'is acting ability.. well we all grow up don't we:impleased?

[elian]

So the question seems to be is bisexual interest linked to how much you like the other partner? Sure, that makes a lot of sense. In this day and age I think for guys it's called "bromance" - or some such thing?

[Mr. Suck]

What exactly is the question? If someone's "turned on" by the same gender then they're either bisexual or gay/lesbian.

[tenni]

"Can aperson be more turned on by the same sex partner than the same sex idea?"

This seems to be the OP's question? (I think)

Regardless of sexuality or sexual preference does the actual person factor in more than the gender of the person? Clearly, in the case of these women "Jean" was a sweet seductress and the various women were willing to be sexually physical with her despite not being generally attracted to other women sexually. I wonder also if the factor that women are more inclined to be physical with other women than men are inclined to be physical touchy kissy with other men is another factor? Jean may have encouraged touch and kiss slowly getting more intimate with them ...no offense to Jean at all but admiration for her ability to seduce women that considered themselves hetero.

So, yes, the person may count more so than a general sexual attraction to a particular gender but not generally. Jean seems to have developed "special skills". It may not be generalized to all same sex encounters any more than men having sex and relationships with other men in prisons is applicable. It is and it isn't. Some men in prison may enter same sex relationships but revert right back to only women once out of prison. Then again not all ex cons revert back to opposite gender sex only...some ex cons do stay with the occasional m2m encounter even after being released from prison. ;)

[McBice]

Thank you all for some very interesting replies. First let me apologize for the jumbledness of the original post. Either something typed up in a Word program doesn't sit well in this format or I just wasn't holding my mouth right when I pasted it in.

To Whispering: I would say that to themselves and their respective mates, the women Jean was with all know they are bi but probably wouldn't ever publicly admit to it. As for them being promiscuous, that would be hard for me to say but I would lean more towards the not really side of that question. On the other hand, Jean was both. She could tell you in quite explicit detail the things she loved about sex with women and the things she loved about sex with men and she quite cognizant about what she was attracted to in both sexes. If I had ever told her she was promiscuous, her reply would have either been, "I am not...I'm just horny and I liked to have sex with different people" or "Yeah, and your point is?", depending on which direction her sense of humor was blowing that day.

Oh Damn!!! I just figured out how to make this format do stuff....buh duh...guess I was holding my mouth right after all. Unfortunately, now that I've had such a great victory over the computer and my deplorable typing skills, I have to run errands but I'll get back this as soon as I can