Seeking Bi Men for Info and Friendship!!

[sydneysavoigne]

Hello,

I'm a straight girl dating a bi guy, and when I met my him, I didn’t know much about bisexuality. I was really surprised to hear that a lot of my female friends thought it was a bad idea to start dating a bi guy. When I typed male bisexuality into google, there were a few politically correct sites, but a lot of other... misinformation. There is so much ignorance, misunderstanding, and discrimination towards bi men.

So I started writing a blog about what its like dating a bi guy, in the hopes of showing other people (esp. women) that it's pretty awesome. I also opened an online survey about male bisexuality, hoping to lift away some of the mystery surrounding this community.

So I have two things to ask:

1. Please take me survey (if you're a bi guy). It has been soooo hard to find bi men to participate. (Its here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Lp97RvI9jIovwV1WZhuqhtZDVEwN5_BeKeMEdL1YQSY/viewform)

2. Why is it that the bi male community has such low visibility? I feel like bi guys don't necessarily hang out with each other, the way gay men and women might. Is that an accurate perception?

[Dog62]

Actually the bisexual male community does not have low visibility we have been out and active since the late 60s and early 70s. Try studying history instead of talking out of your ass about stuff you know nothing about. Maybe in California, but it seems to me that you are the one talking out of your ass. Female bisexuality and even gay relationships are more accepted than male bisexuality in my neck of the woods. Bisexual women are adored by most men. Gays are just ignored by them, but bi guys? Your co-workers would shun you and run far away. It is like a wolf in sheeps clothing. The sheep know wolves are there, and if they look like wolves (gay) thats fine but they sure as hell don't want to hang out with them if they are disguised as sheep (bi).
Oh hell no. Out and Active? Not in my world.

[sydneysavoigne]

@Sa rduzzo, in response to your comment:
"Actually the bisexual male community does not have low visibility we have been out and active since the late 60s and early 70s. Try studying history instead of talking out of your ass about stuff you know nothing about."

That's great if you feel the current level of visibility is enough, but I'm not speaking out my ass, I'm speaking from personal experience.

See, if you have to tell a straight person how long your community has been out and active, and that they have to study history to know that... that seems like the very definition of not having enough visibility.

[sydneysavoigne]

Thanks for the reply. I think the wolves and sheep analogy is a really good way to describe the situation

[Hypersexual11]

There is a reason there are no "bi bars", or a community past one like this for bisexual men. Coming out is kinda uncomfortable and unnecessary. It's much easier for society to accept a gay or straight man. Bisexuality just brings up to many questions and accusations. You may be open minded but few that aren't will change. Since it is possible, and easy, most of us simply hide it until it needs to come out, like in a relationship, where sexual honesty is important if you want to be happy.

[Realist]

I agree with Hyper, I've only lived in two places where I felt safe to be out. And, even in those places, it was important to know what those in your group's attitudes were, regarding sexual diversity.

Louisville, Ky and Germany were the most tolerant of bisexual men, in my experience. However, even there, being totally out was not a good idea. Central Pennsylvania, where I lived for ten years and Florida, where I was born, were/are the worst.

I did know a group of gay and bisexual people, who would get together at one bisexual lady's home, in Louisville. It was wonderful to be totally open to discuss and listen to each other's thoughts and experiences.

I've never felt compelled to flaunt my bisexuality, but agree that if we were more out and open in our community, in a positive way, there might be more acceptance...but not where I live...not right now, anyway!

[void()]

I agree with Hyper as well. One fear I try avoiding thinking about is,
having my bisexuality used as means to accuse of pedophilia, rape,
or such. Even accusations would be enough to cause dire problems.

In darker imaginings I play out a scene.

"Oh, we know who and what you are, you scum sucking bisexual! You
molest little boys! You and your buddies also fondle the dead! We'll
have the pitchforks and kerosene on hand soon!"

And there is no defense against such a wonton cry of havoc. In the
scene, I would break down and begin to create a bloody mess. After
all if they're coming to lynch me, my family, you can be damn sure
I'm taking at least a few with me.

It is no good to dwell in that. It truly is not. So, no need of
bisexual bars, no need shout with megaphone or bullhorn. Yes, I know
many are not so ignorant as to incite or be party to lynch mobs. I
also know it only takes one ignorant fool with fear in their hearts
to spark an inferno.

* wanders on losing himself in a daydream of a "perfect world" *

[Bicuriousman]

The low visibility of the community probably stems from the shunning that takes place within society from the straight community directed at the LGBT, not to mention the shunning from some of the lesbian and gay community directed at bisexuals. who in their right state of mind would want to endure all of the shunning? I personally don't think everyone in the world has the right to know mine or everyone else's sexuality, an in all actuality the only people whom that information would be relevant to would be
my sexual partners. Life is just to short for all of the drama.

[lookn4fun64]

Well stated Bicurious. It is no one else's business but the parties willing to participate together in the act of sex.

[Sar duzzo]

Yes there have been bi bars they've morphed into mixed crowd or LGBT bars and dance clubs. Closet queens like Hypersexual, void, dog62, and Realist will never be happy or out no matter where they live. Why don't you all join the Vatican? It's the world's biggest closet! Void is a paranoid schizophrenic and his claims that ignorant bigots will think that bisexuality=pederasty are founded on hate by people like Anita Bryant. Nobody has equated bisexuality or being LGBT with pederasty or other sick stuff he wrote about for decades. Of course the closet queens will claim that coming out as bisexual is telling people about your personal sex life when in reality it is not at all. The original poster is a very ignorant woman which is not surprising given that she's heterosexual. Bisexual men have been out for centuries and are still very out today. Haven't you heard of Lord Byron, Alexander the Great, countless Roman emperors, Oscar Wilde, David Bowie, etc. etc. etc. Yes you will find out bisexual men but not on this site since there are a lot of closet queens here who think they're LMAO "discrete" or "discreet" but nothing is further from the truth as they're more out and obvious than a flaming queen.