A must read article…

[12voltyV2.0]

So glad to see an article of this sort that takes an in depth look at "bisexuality."

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/23/magazine/the-scientific-quest-to-prove-bisexuality-exists.html?_r=0

It will take time for these studies to be completed. I am interested in seeing the outcome and I probably do have more faith in this organization to do such studies, with the results of them being more trustworthy than had they been done by some other organizations, etc.

[fredtyg]

I read that some time ago. The lesbian couple living behind me sent me the link, although I'd already read it.

I have to take issue with one aspect of it. Why do they need studies to see if bisexuality exists? I told the gals living behind me all one would have to do is go to groups like this and others that are full of guys (and girls) that are interested in both sexes. How can anyone deny it?

[Long Duck Dong]

a friend that was bisexual, once said to me that bisexuality was the most diverse sexuality there was and it was the best way for everybody to be.... I responded with, so you are going to have a transgender lover / partner... they responded with no, not interested......so I asked, why limit other people to your choices that you think are better for everybody, rather than learn what makes their sexuality better for them than your sexuality......

the scientific study to prove bisexuality, or the scientific study to understand how diverse bisexuality can be..... I would definately read the second one... but I am not really sure that wiring up guys balls is proving that much as all and that is why the first study is going to be a lot harder.......

if I was doing a study of bisexuality, then I would start with a study of the interaction and relationships that people have with each other and how they define the interaction, then I would use things like heart rate monitors and other portable sensory devices as the basic social interaction can tell us a lot more about our attractions and desires than watching porn with our nuts wired up..... then I would move on to a discussion about sex in the persons on words, what makes them sexually aroused and at what point of the day do they feel more aroused and sexual.... then move on to a range of sexual imagery, covering everything from hetero, lesbian, gay, bi, trans, vanilla, bdsm..... and over the space of a few months slowly narrow the field down to see if there was a way to trace a level of sexual interest and arousal that could change from one side to the other side, gender wise.... or if it was a ebb and flow effect but consistently a attraction to both or more genders...... etc..... and compare that to the same type of study done on gays, lesbians, trans and heteros.......

the trouble for me, is that I am open to what ever label a person uses for themselves rather than a label that they must use in order for the data collected to match the gay / les, hetero and bi restrictions..... and not the MSM and WSW labels as well... because I am curious if the label can actually affect sexual expression and that is something that I have heard some people say about themselves.... if they use the term bisexual, they feel slutty and like they would sleep with anybody but if they use the term heteroflexible or sexually diverse, they do not, they feel more in control of their sexuality.....

so realistically of course I m talking about a study of about 100k people over the period of 2-5 years.....because I would love to use different cultures and countries as well.....and see if there is a connection between sexuality and law.... IE is sexuality more fuild in countries that make same gender sex illegal or is it more explosive, ( suck, fuck and interest and attraction disappears for a while )

and maybe its easier to start with a study to understand bisexuality as more than just sex but also attraction and sexual interest

[fredtyg]

"...and maybe its easier to start with a study to understand bisexuality as more than just sex but also attraction and sexual interest".

The main problem I see is how can you possibly define bisexuality? Even those of us here might disagree at what point someone is considered bisexual....and we deal with this issue fairly regularly.

What about a guy who considers himself straight but every once in a while gets drunk and sucks on a cock or gets his sucked? Kinda like me in my mid- 20s. I kept telling myself I wasn't bi or homo, but I'd get to drinking and go out looking for cock again. Hindsight shows I certainly was, but I might not have admitted it to myself.

What about the guys or gals that fooled around a bit as kids or teenagers, but then moved on into a social group where same sex relations weren't accepted and they don't really even think about it anymore....until they leave that group later in life, move into a different one and rekindle their same sex interests? At one point would you consider them bisexual?

I'm sure we can think of more examples as we've heard many of them in this forum. It's a real can of worms trying to figure out who the label applies to. There's no doubt bisexuality exists, but people are so varied I don't know you could come up with an empirical value of what a bisexual is.

[fredtyg]

Oh, and then there's the self- described lesbians or gay guys. I'd bet many of them have had hetero sexual relations before, and might be willing to do it again. Would they be considered bisexual?

I'm still curious about that aspect of it. I asked my lezzie neighbors about their personal history and they wouldn't answer. Rude question, I guess, but it shows how hard it would be to put labels on things like this.

[Long Duck Dong]

"...and maybe its easier to start with a study to understand bisexuality as more than just sex but also attraction and sexual interest".

The main problem I see is how can you possibly define bisexuality? Even those of us here might disagree at what point someone is considered bisexual....and we deal with this issue fairly regularly.

What about a guy who considers himself straight but every once in a while gets drunk and sucks on a cock or gets his sucked? Kinda like me in my mid- 20s. I kept telling myself I wasn't bi or homo, but I'd get to drinking and go out looking for cock again. Hindsight shows I certainly was, but I might not have admitted it to myself.

What about the guys or gals that fooled around a bit as kids or teenagers, but then moved on into a social group where same sex relations weren't accepted and they don't really even think about it anymore....until they leave that group later in life, move into a different one and rekindle their same sex interests? At one point would you consider them bisexual?

I'm sure we can think of more examples as we've heard many of them in this forum. It's a real can of worms trying to figure out who the label applies to. There's no doubt bisexuality exists, but people are so varied I don't know you could come up with an empirical value of what a bisexual is.

and now you have the reasoning why I let people label themselves rather than me giving them the label or telling them what label to use...... bisexuality, like any sexuality is far to complex to define without forcing everybody to confirm to a start set of defining rules and yes I am been one of the ones in the forum that have had to deal with other people trying to dictate my sexuality and deny me the right to call myself bisexual... trouble there, is the people that were denying my right to my sexuality and understanding of it, are members of this site......not the gay and lesbian community who accepted me and my sexuality

[Gearbox]

and now you have the reasoning why I let people label themselves rather than me giving them the label or telling them what label to use...... bisexuality, like any sexuality is far to complex to define without forcing everybody to confirm to a start set of defining rules and yes I am been one of the ones in the forum that have had to deal with other people trying to dictate my sexuality and deny me the right to call myself bisexual... trouble there, is the people that were denying my right to my sexuality and understanding of it, are members of this site......not the gay and lesbian community who accepted me and my sexuality
Before you (yet again) slag off the bisexual 'villains' in this forum and make out how wonderfully accepting the gay community is....lets get a few things 'straight':
It was your asexuality that was questioned in your asexual-bisexual claim! Asexuals don't post about how horny for sex they are, how they'd like to have sex with so&so or even want a chemically induced sex-drive....not even if they are asexual 'natured' (whatever that means).

and now you have the reasoning why I let people label themselves rather than me giving them the label or telling them what label to use......
Yet you allowed a Dr to label you as asexual? You defended that label for years....until HE declared you to be NOT asexual. You see the contradiction there?
You at least got some honesty from those bisexual 'villains'. Maybe if your Dr joined the site, he'd have made adjustments to his 'diagnosis'?


Oh, and then there's the self- described lesbians or gay guys. I'd bet many of them have had hetero sexual relations before, and might be willing to do it again. Would they be considered bisexual?

I'm still curious about that aspect of it. I asked my lezzie neighbors about their personal history and they wouldn't answer. Rude question, I guess, but it shows how hard it would be to put labels on things like this.
Well that's it! Bisexuality isn't a diverse sexuality! Sexuality is diverse and bisexuality is just an example of it's diversity.:)
IMO people secretly LOVE being labelled coz it gives us an identity. When we have an identity, we know where we are, how we should think, act, be perceived.... yada yada.
Sexuality labels are fantastic for that! Except for the bisexual one.:rolleyes: It's not viewed as an identity which tells you where you are etc. It's more of a 'F**k you! I'm not choosing!' one.lol IMO it's not so much to do with being sexually attracted to both genders, or refusing to commit to one gender that we get grief for....but refusing to commit to either the hetro or gay ID.
Those lesbian neighbours of yours know better than to stir up a 'hornets nest' of sexuality and (God forbid) ID.:bigrin:

[tenni]

Thanks Volty
I read this article before either here on this site or elsewhere. I did not re read it. My impression of the article was positive as a I recall. I liked the point that there is a formal organization studying bisexuality (American Institute of Bisexual). I don't have a problem with the simple definition about bisexuality. i.e. Bisexuality is a sexual and/or emotional attraction to men and women. It works for me. As far as someone getting drunk and getting into oral sex with a person of their own gender, if you do it more than a couple of times, I think that you have some serious thinking and examining your sexuality. The positive and perhaps negative is the aspect of self identification versus scientific examination. I think that it is good that some scientific methodoIygy is being used. think that even monosexual gay people are beginning to understand that sexuality is complex. I think personally that it is a detriment to bisexuality or sexuality in general to begin discussing gender issues as if they are connected to sexuality factors. Maybe, one day there may be a greater understanding and acceptance of sexual attraction fluidity.

[12voltyV2.0]

I do agree with how to define what is "bisexuality" because as we have noted here---hardly any of us hold the same definitions of just what is "bisexuality." I have my own specific version---that for me means that I am not necessarily interested in doing things like a MFM 3-way or even a FMF 3-way. I seem to like either being with a guy or being with a lady---but not both at the same time and really don't think that other than it being something I would do every once in awhile, as "one off" deals--that I want any part of any version of a 3-way---but that for many guys or I suppose gals too that come to this site and elsewhere that say they are "Bi"---that is the only way they would ever do anything sexual with another guy or gal is in the context of some form of a 3-way.

I am surely not interested in trying a poly relationship----it's all I can do to handle a relationship with one other person---so for a long term, romantic/sexual relationship---either with a guy or gal---I'd only do as a one on one situation.

In the case if I have a long term thing with a guy---I would still say that I am not gay but bisexual because even though I'd hope that such a relationship would be a long term thing---if or when it came to an end and I am still alive---I would not preclude my next such relationship being with a woman.

It is a hard thing to really figure out just what is bisexuality and any studies that any group would undertake would have to also clearly state that the definition for "bisexuality" is a rather fluid thing and rather not so clear.

The one thing I would like such studies to show---that "Yes, Virginia---there really is such a thing as a truly Bisexual male!!"

It does seem that many people of all sexual stripes from straight, gay males and lesbians hold that there is a possibility that there are bisexual females but bisexual men----they are just bullshiting, self-delusional "fence sitters" who claim to be bisexual as they head to actually being gay!

As usual with articles of this sort--I found it interesting and figured it was worth sharing with "the community" for those who may not have come across the pieces before.

Of course--no one article or what have you can "get it right" when it comes to bisexuality---since as we have said---it really is not so easy to determine just exactly what bisexuality really is--but I for one---would just be happy if bisexuality could at least be accepted and acknowledged as something that really does exist---as hard as it might be to get a handle on it.

[tenni]

Volty
I agree with some of the things that you write. However a bisexual decides to act on their attraction for both men and women is their choice and nothing to with the sexuality itself. Being poly is not being bisexual but it may be a good/best option for how to live as a bisexual for some bisexuals. Monosexuals may chose a poly approach to life but they do not include both men and women in that mix.

I think that you raise an interesting point about deciding that at this point in your life you wish to be with a man but I also think that it is best to examine a larger time period of a person's life. A young person may chose to be a monosexual relationship and as they mature fluidity may enter into the attraction and the person may change their dominant attraction. The degree of attraction is probably not a good signifier of bisexuality. This goes back to Fred saying a guy might get drunk and have oral sex with another man. If he keeps doing it there is a degree of bisexuality entering his life.

Repression of an attraction does not eliminate the basic attraction. The guy giving bj while drunk and enjoying women at other times is not a monosexual imo. The opposite of monosexuality is bisexuality is a good approach to this entire sexuality discussion. No one is really a little bit gay or a little bit hetero. The entire Kinsey scale is not a good long term approach to self explore bisexuality. It may help you initially to discover that you are not straight or gay but it won't help you accept the fluidity aspect of bisexuality. Both physical and emotional attraction may vary over a lifetime seems to be a good acknowledgement. It is as complicated as the person wishes to make their sexuality.