Dating conundrum

[jackofbothtrades]

Wondering what would you do in this situation:

Recently on OK Cupid, I've had surprising success. Well overdue :tongue: I have gotten close to both a gay man and a straight woman, my age and city, and have made plans to meet both of them. They both know I'm bi and am fine with that. I would love to date both of them; having a boyfriend and a girlfriend at once is a fantasy of mine (probably true for most people here). But I don't think either would be ok with that.

I was considering these choices:
1. If I ask them, if it's ok to date both at once, I suspect, though I'm not sure,they will tell me to get lost.
2. I could just pick one of them fora relationship. That would be good, though not as good as dating both.
3. I could not tell either of them I'm seeing the other one. This is the most appealing result, but I have some ethical doubts.

Any thoughts?

[pole_smoker]

First actually meet these people.

You might not be attracted to either one of them. Or they may not be attracted to you.

Then if both of them are actually attracted to you and you're attracted to them tell them how you just want to casually date and will date other people or another person besides them.

[elian]

..what he said, that sounds like good advice unless you know that they are both very open minded about relationships.. At least you might have to discuss what it means to you to be bisexual if either relationship gets serious and you still feel you cannot be satisfied by a monogamous relationship.

There are people who don't have as many hang-ups about relationships as I do..just hope that all of the partners stay healthy and agree to only be with each other.

[jackofbothtrades]

Thanks for advice, elian. No more conundrum, at least for now. Woman flaked out, but guy and I are planning to meet next week (however, given my expereince at dating sites, I'll assume nothing until he shows up).

[CurEUs_Male]

I'm thinking if they both responded to your OK Cupid ad, they probably read enough to know you are bi? and likely since it is a dating site, the assumption would be first dates do not put you into an exclusive mono relationship. As suggested, have the dates. See how you connect with each of them. Consider walking the conversation through each of your profiles and see where each person falls along what you have shared, what they have shared, and get a feel for if they are mono or poly in nature.

[tenni]

Have you met him yet? With regard to dating a man and a woman at the same time, have you dated two women at the same time? Would you tell them right away or wait to see if one became more important to you..regardless of their gender?

[charles-smythe]

Wondering what would you do in this situation:

Recently on OK Cupid, I've had surprising success. Well overdue :tongue: I have gotten close to both a gay man and a straight woman, my age and city, and have made plans to meet both of them. They both know I'm bi and am fine with that. I would love to date both of them; having a boyfriend and a girlfriend at once is a fantasy of mine (probably true for most people here). But I don't think either would be ok with that.

I was considering these choices:
1. If I ask them, if it's ok to date both at once, I suspect, though I'm not sure,they will tell me to get lost.
2. I could just pick one of them fora relationship. That would be good, though not as good as dating both.
3. I could not tell either of them I'm seeing the other one. This is the most appealing result, but I have some ethical doubts.

Any thoughts?...as long as you're not in a stated monogamous relationship...its none of eithers business...