I did something stupid.

[TerrorTwilight]

I'm a 32 year old, closeted bisexual man. I've been best friends with Steve since I was 15. He's a really good dude, pretty laid back and he seems to be pretty open minded. Over the last year or two I've often fantasized about blowing him. Well, this past weekend I hung out at his place, we drank and smoked some pot. He told me he was probably going to be moving out of state in a few months. He passed out and I continued to stay up and drink/smoke, building up the courage to tell him how I felt, especially since he will be moving soon. So I wrote a note telling him that I wanted to suck his cock, and that I would give him $100 if he let me do so. I know the offering money part is weird, but he could use the money. I'd offer to let him borrow money, but the last few times I have he hasn't paid it back, which isn't a huge deal, but I'd rather not loan him money. So by offering him some cash I was hoping it might sweeten the deal and he'd be into it.

Well, I left the note on the kitchen table and crashed on the couch. I was counting on him getting up before me, which he did, I heard him moving around so I checked out of the corner of my eye and I definitely saw him reading the note. So I went back to sleep for another hour or so and finally got up. He didn't let on like anything was weird, but didn't bring it up either. I hung out for a while and we played some video games and smoked again then I went home. That night I sent him a message on Facebook saying that I was serious about that note. He's seen the message but still hasn't replied back.

I'm not going to bring it up anymore, he knows how I feel. If he wants to do something about it, it's up to him. I really hope he doesn't mention it to any of our other friends. I really don't think he would though. Obviously his friendship is the most important thing, I hope I didn't jeopardize that because I was horny.

[sysper]

i wouldn't say this was something stupid, unless u know he's a homophobe or something like that. ur attracted to him, u took a chance. i think that's better than having him move far away & wondering what if the whole time. if u2 are close enough u will find a way to get past the awkwardness. right now it looks like he's not interested at all. or maybe he finds he actually is. either way this is awkward for him right now so he's avoiding the topic hopefully he will find a way to deal with it. until then u gotta respect him not bring it up anymore. like u said he is well aware of how u feel about him. the only thing i wouldn't of done is tie money into ur offer. i know u care about ur friend & wanna help him out but this should of been separate. maybe this is the only thing that's causing him to hesitate. then again maybe not. the thing is though, u did about all u could do & like u said, it's up to him now. it's too bad he doesn't just say no (no pun intended if u know what i mean lol) so u at least know his answer but now u wait. so don't be so hard on urself if he's ur bestfriend it will workout 1 way or another. besides a bestfriend is a good person to let them know ur sexual orientation. keep us posted or just me if u want.

[Thonguy]

That took a lot of courage. I hope it works out. I am too scared of my friends reaction to even tell them I am bisexual. Most of my friends are co-workers.

[TerrorTwilight]

i wouldn't say this was something stupid, unless u know he's a homophobe or something like that. ur attracted to him, u took a chance. i think that's better than having him move far away & wondering what if the whole time. if u2 are close enough u will find a way to get past the awkwardness. right now it looks like he's not interested at all. or maybe he finds he actually is. either way this is awkward for him right now so he's avoiding the topic hopefully he will find a way to deal with it. until then u gotta respect him not bring it up anymore. like u said he is well aware of how u feel about him. the only thing i wouldn't of done is tie money into ur offer. i know u care about ur friend & wanna help him out but this should of been separate. maybe this is the only thing that's causing him to hesitate. then again maybe not. the thing is though, u did about all u could do & like u said, it's up to him now. it's too bad he doesn't just say no (no pun intended if u know what i mean lol) so u at least know his answer but now u wait. so don't be so hard on urself if he's ur bestfriend it will workout 1 way or another. besides a bestfriend is a good person to let them know ur sexual orientation. keep us posted or just me if u want.

I'll update if anything happens. You're right though, it is nice being 'out' as a bisexual to a friend. He's the only person who knows.


That took a lot of courage. I hope it works out. I am too scared of my friends reaction to even tell them I am bisexual. Most of my friends are co-workers.

Thanks. I hope things work out for you too.

[secretasianman]

I probably wouldn't have offered the $100. If he says yes, you don't know whether it was for the money, or for the BJ.

[tenni]

I wouldn't think that you are really out to your friend......except in an arse backwards approach. you have created a wall against open honest discussion with your friend.

Did the letter make it clear that you are bisexual or offer to blow him for cash like a gay hooker client?

Steve may be processing things and this may not go anywhere until you have an in person talk with him. I think that you have crossed a platonic guy friend line. I think that it would be respectful of Steve's feelings and understanding to find the courage to talk to him. He may say that he doesn't want to talk about it.

You handled disclosing your sexuality to good long term bud poorly. I would tell him or explain the offer of cash better than you did here. Appologize to your friend for being so crude.

Who knows? Maybe he wants you to blow him but is stuck on finding the courage to respond.

[void()]

In part I agree with tenni. Your revelation was done a bit crudely.

Now, you're hesitating and withholding yourself from him because of
being afraid he'll not reciprocate physically or emotionally. You need to have another get together with him.

During this next get together, you need to slowly broach him. I am meaning you need to be offering yourself to him. Set next to him, gently take one of his arms and put it up over your shoulders, cuddle in against him. Sit cuddled a while, enjoy his presence so near. Then, you'll gradually begin.

Slip one of your hands under his shirt/s, begin circling one of his nipples with your fingers and gently squeezing it. Gradually move the hand down his torso and under his waist band. If he's wearing a belt start to slowly unfasten it.

Move slowly but determined, cup his balls in your hand and gently squeeze them. Then, start stroking his cock with your hand.

If you go at this slowly and move in steps you'll give him ample time to accept, or reject your advances. If he doesn't do anything to reject or to push you away, continue until you find yourself giving him that blow-job. You also might get surprised and he'll let you give the blow-job, but then want more.

Often, to write, or say something might seem enough. Some though prefer to have the act manifested. He might be waiting for you to act, to come to him and 'give him permission' in a manner of speaking. give him the money or not, don't ever again add money to sex / love. It's not a good mix, unless of course, you are genuinely paying for prostitution.

[Realist]

The first ting I thought of was, writing something down like that, with his handwriting on it could be dangerous. If TT's married, or partnered, that note could be evidence for a divorce settlement, or at least anger and accusations for ending a relationship. The OP's profile doesn't say he's with anyone else, so maybe he's safe.

However, if he misread his friend, especially if his friend has no interest in being sexually involved, that could also be the end of a long friendship!

[cslutt]

I'll bet anything he's jerked off to your letter a dozen times, every one more climactic than the last, and just needs a twerk in the right direction.

[12voltyV2.0]

I do have to agree---you did do something "unwise" and ill advised.

You did put him in a tough spot--and the offering of money surely didn't do anything to make it good. Any offer of money should have been done totally separate from the offer to give him the BJ and that should have been something you did far removed from this---you did taint the act you seek with being like a sex worker, doing it for the money.

I do hope that you can pull this back---but it may not be possible and that you did this--I dare say--not only will you probably not get to give him that BJ and sad to say--with his moving so far distant--you probably may not see him ever again.

Not trying to be hard here, just letting you know what is most likely, the most probable outcome as a result of the way you went about this.

I do have to say--do what Void suggests and not only try his advice--but profusely apologize about offering the money linked to the sex act--tell him you would and still will give him the money no matter what if he will accept it---out of the fact that he is a long time friend and you just want to do what you can to help him with the move, at least give him some pocket money when he travels and such.

[TerrorTwilight]

The first ting I thought of was, writing something down like that, with his handwriting on it could be dangerous. If TT's married, or partnered, that note could be evidence for a divorce settlement, or at least anger and accusations for ending a relationship. The OP's profile doesn't say he's with anyone else, so maybe he's safe.

However, if he misread his friend, especially if his friend has no interest in being sexually involved, that could also be the end of a long friendship!

I'm single, but he would never do something like that.

I think the most likely scenario is that he won't mention it. And if he doesn't mention then neither will I.

[ohbimale]

I would have offered the blow job minus the $100. Never paid someone for giving them head. I think he would be smart to at lest talk thing out if not try things out.

[pole_smoker]

Don't be surprised if this guy never talks to you again; but that's what most sane people would do if you acted like a total whore towards them literally and offered to pay them cash for sex.