asking for advise, 1st gay experiance, 1 guy or more?

[sysper]

i wanna ask u guys for advise about my 1st gay experiance. are there good reasons for doing it with just 1 guy & good reasons for doing it with more than 1 guy? how many guys would be a good number? would including women be a good idea? i know the risk of std's so i know for that reason 1 guy would be best. i'm asking more from a psychological standpoint.

[delpark]

Do whatever you are comfortable with doing. Allow the event to happen as it presents itself within your comfort level. If you feel the need to submit to your gay urges, accept the opportunities that offered within your limits. Why turn down a willing guy because there is no female present? At the same time, why decline because a female is present? You may enjoy sex with multiple men in the same session.

Don't over think this. Get on your knees and accept the cocks offered.

[marine20]

delpark , i LOVE your last line !

[sysper]

thanks so much for ur advise. as u can probably guess i can have a wild imagination & i have got some ideas of what my 1st time should be like. i agree it's important for me to remember to consider any opportunity i might get & go with it. i'm just hoping things start happening soon because this curiosity has been with me for so long!
Do whatever you are comfortable with doing. Allow the event to happen as it presents itself within your comfort level. If you feel the need to submit to your gay urges, accept the opportunities that offered within your limits. Why turn down a willing guy because there is no female present? At the same time, why decline because a female is present? You may enjoy sex with multiple men in the same session.

Don't over think this. Get on your knees and accept the cocks offered.

[sysper]

delpark , i LOVE your last line !
i gotta admit, me too :oh:

[csreef]

Personally, I'd go with one guy...You might be nervous, and multiple partners would compound this...Also multiple partners may not "be understanding." and start rushing you to do something you aren't comfortable with.

[sysper]

thanks, this makes sense. the way i was thinking about the advantages of multiple guys introducing me to gay pleasure, the more guys there supporting me the better. also sometimes my imagination gets the best of me. same sex activity is a pretty far out idea for me anyways so why not go to the extreme! but i do get ur point, many more guys to consider, more guys focusing on me. plus i think everyone would be making each other more eager for me, which I might not be able to handle at least for my 1st time. if it is 1 guy for my 1st time i hope he is understanding & will take his time to make me feel comfortable & trusting with giving myself to him.
Personally, I'd go with one guy...You might be nervous, and multiple partners would compound this...Also multiple partners may not "be understanding." and start rushing you to do something you aren't comfortable with.

[cornholejoe]

i got into bi sex doing 3 somes with a man and wife a man and his girlfriend and with 2 men

[sysper]

did u plan it that way?
i got into bi sex doing 3 somes with a man and wife a man and his girlfriend and with 2 men

[SilkyHoseLover]

thanks, this makes sense. the way i was thinking about the advantages of multiple guys introducing me to gay pleasure, the more guys there supporting me the better.

Forget the labels and don't overthink. That active imagination could work against you 'in an actual emergency'...

I don't consider what I'm doing to be 'gay pleasure', and I don't need anyone to validate my desires and actions.

If you want to assign a label, I'll go with 'homosexual sex', because that's an accurate descriptive term for the act. 'Gay' implies different characteristics and aspects that are not applicable to me. I am bisexual, which is why I'm here. Nothing wrong with being gay, bisexual or straight! Just don't get hung up on the terminology!

You will still be the same person after you have sucked that first cock or had one in your ass. Think about it: what will be different about you after-the-fact? Nothing. You will simply have had one more life experience to add to the pile.

If you're ready for it, relax and let it happen. Don't let feelings of uncertainty or negativity mess things up.

[cornholejoe]

did u plan it that way?

just kinda of happen to work out that way with the man and woman this one man had a friend so the mmm was planned

[sysper]

thanks for ur support & reminding me sometimes ideas don't workout in real life. the uncertainties do bother me especially when i know there are bad men out there who think they know better but are out to use & abuse people. this is why it's so important i find a guy i can trust, who might challenge me but won't force me to do anything i'm not comfortable or willing to do. i'm at a fragile point in my life emotionally & sexually & it's easy for a guy to take advantage of me in my vulnerable state & hurt me. so as much as i wanna let things happen there will allways be a part of me that won't let things go, that will be hesitant & cynical, that will question if what's happening is right. it's gonna take sometime to find the right guy (or guys as i also proposed though i'm beginning to realize more the less guys the better) to help me overcome my resistence & feel comfortable & safe trying something that's been on my mind heavily for years.
when i said gay i didn't mean it to exclude any pleasure with the opposite sex. even though i have given up on ever finding happiness with women i still like them very much :) i guess maybe there are different ways to view bisexuality. to me it's liking the same sex (homosexuality) & the opposite sex (heterosexuality), though not necessarily equally or even in the same way. so when I said gay i meant the same sex liking part of someone who might also like the opposite sex too. i know, if u say someone's gay it implies they are not bi. though some people think bi's & especially bi men are really gay anyways. then again i know some people think of bisexuality as something not quite "part str8 part gay". in the end (no pun intended XD) i hope people find happiness togather with whoever they wanna feel happy with, if for a lifetime or 5 minutes.

Forget the labels and don't overthink. That active imagination could work against you 'in an actual emergency'...

I don't consider what I'm doing to be 'gay pleasure', and I don't need anyone to validate my desires and actions.

If you want to assign a label, I'll go with 'homosexual sex', because that's an accurate descriptive term for the act. 'Gay' implies different characteristics and aspects that are not applicable to me. I am bisexual, which is why I'm here. Nothing wrong with being gay, bisexual or straight! Just don't get hung up on the terminology!

You will still be the same person after you have sucked that first cock or had one in your ass. Think about it: what will be different about you after-the-fact? Nothing. You will simply have had one more life experience to add to the pile.

If you're ready for it, relax and let it happen. Don't let feelings of uncertainty or negativity mess things up.

[sysper]

another thought i just had is, i wanna address any attraction i might have to guys as that & not try & "water down" the idea by reminding myself or others i have got an attraction to women too & using the word "bisexual." so by saying "gay" i have only guys on my mind & that's the only subject. also as well as affirming my right to be bisexual, i also wanna affirm my right to be homosexual. i wanna know it's ok not to have that perceived societal "safety net" of still liking the opposite sex. but i don't think i'll ever be ready to affirm my right to be asexual. sex is too much fun. the idea's too important to who i am. even though i'm having problems getting any from either sex, i'd much rather be completely gay than completely uninterested in any sex.
thanks for ur support & reminding me sometimes ideas don't workout in real life. the uncertainties do bother me especially when i know there are bad men out there who think they know better but are out to use & abuse people. this is why it's so important i find a guy i can trust, who might challenge me but won't force me to do anything i'm not comfortable or willing to do. i'm at a fragile point in my life emotionally & sexually & it's easy for a guy to take advantage of me in my vulnerable state & hurt me. so as much as i wanna let things happen there will allways be a part of me that won't let things go, that will be hesitant & cynical, that will question if what's happening is right. it's gonna take sometime to find the right guy (or guys as i also proposed though i'm beginning to realize more the less guys the better) to help me overcome my resistence & feel comfortable & safe trying something that's been on my mind heavily for years.
when i said gay i didn't mean it to exclude any pleasure with the opposite sex. even though i have given up on ever finding happiness with women i still like them very much :) i guess maybe there are different ways to view bisexuality. to me it's liking the same sex (homosexuality) & the opposite sex (heterosexuality), though not necessarily equally or even in the same way. so when I said gay i meant the same sex liking part of someone who might also like the opposite sex too. i know, if u say someone's gay it implies they are not bi. though some people think bi's & especially bi men are really gay anyways. then again i know some people think of bisexuality as something not quite "part str8 part gay". in the end (no pun intended XD) i hope people find happiness togather with whoever they wanna feel happy with, if for a lifetime or 5 minutes.

[bityme]

i wanna ask u guys for advise about my 1st gay experiance. are there good reasons for doing it with just 1 guy & good reasons for doing it with more than 1 guy? how many guys would be a good number? would including women be a good idea? i know the risk of std's so i know for that reason 1 guy would be best. i'm asking more from a psychological standpoint.

Sysper,

You have been talking about having a first experience for a long time now. It seems the two major things that prevent you form making it real are security and feeling comfortable.

You might consider going to an ABS with glory holes. Generally, you can lock yourself in a booth (secure) and if it feels good, take advantage of the glory hole. If you like what the guy in the next booth looks like, you can put your penis through the glory hole and get it sucked. On the other hand, the guy in the next booth can do the same for you to suck him, although, you are under no obligation to do so. You can find a good list of glory holes in New York here:

https://gloryholelist.com/glory-holes/new-york/page1_35.html

Another alternative is a bath house. You can go in, but are under no obligation to engage in anything. You can get a private room (security). You can take advantage of their lounge area, meet and talk to others. I you find someone you are comfortable with, you can invite him to your room. You can find some bath houses in upstate New York here:

http://www.gaybathhouse.org/category/united-states/new-york/

Just thought it might be a couple of ways for you to consider to take that first step.

Pappy

[tenni]

You seem to be using language that may not match your psychological confusion on sexuality. At this point, you have not had "same sex" experience but you seem to want to have sex with another man. In my country, we use "same sex" not " gay" when there is uncertainty about the person's sexual attraction. Gay is appropriate when you are certain that the person has attraction for only people of their own gender. Referring to a person as as bisexual for those who are attracted to men and to women physically and or emotionally. Even if there is a couple, it may be wiser to refer to them as "same sex(gender)" couple and not a gay couple. It is possible for a bisexual to be in a same sex relationship as a couple but one in the couple may be bisexual with attractions for both genders. One may be attracted to only same gender people and self identify as Gay. Unless you know that both people in the couple are gay , it may be wiser to use and think to use "same sex" couple.

Since you have been slowly moving to some sort of sex activity with a guy, it may be wise to have sex with someone that you are psychologically comfortable with and confident that they do not have STD rather than multiple partners at the same time. I think that a one on one exploration may be best for you rather than a m/f/m. Think that over a bit before jumping in to any group sex. The more people having sex the more complicated it may be for you.

[sysper]

thanks for the support & tips! i see there are things that are close enough to me to consider.
Sysper,

You have been talking about having a first experience for a long time now. It seems the two major things that prevent you form making it real are security and feeling comfortable.

You might consider going to an ABS with glory holes. Generally, you can lock yourself in a booth (secure) and if it feels good, take advantage of the glory hole. If you like what the guy in the next booth looks like, you can put your penis through the glory hole and get it sucked. On the other hand, the guy in the next booth can do the same for you to suck him, although, you are under no obligation to do so. You can find a good list of glory holes in New York here:

https://gloryholelist.com/glory-holes/new-york/page1_35.html

Another alternative is a bath house. You can go in, but are under no obligation to engage in anything. You can get a private room (security). You can take advantage of their lounge area, meet and talk to others. I you find someone you are comfortable with, you can invite him to your room. You can find some bath houses in upstate New York here:

http://www.gaybathhouse.org/category/united-states/new-york/

Just thought it might be a couple of ways for you to consider to take that first step.

Pappy

[sysper]

i see ur point in using the word "gay" & how it might not accurately describe me or my situation. i might not have any luck with the opposite sex but believe me the frustration & disappointment over that has not gone away! :) so yes i'm not looking for a gay experiance but a same sex experiance. i agree the distinction is important. thank u for pointing out the distinction. also thanks for ur suggestion to stick to 1 guy. i really hope to experiance a threesome someday in each combination including those with men, but u make me realize as fun as they might be they coud get compicated & it shouldn't be entered into lightly. probably not the best situation if i'm also dealing with another new experiance. so i'm gonna plan on a 1 on 1 with a guy for my 1st experiance with the same sex. but u never know there could be 2 people who have the right vibe with me & it could be enough to lead us to something interesting :oh:
You seem to be using language that may not match your psychological confusion on sexuality. At this point, you have not had "same sex" experience but you seem to want to have sex with another man. In my country, we use "same sex" not " gay" when there is uncertainty about the person's sexual attraction. Gay is appropriate when you are certain that the person has attraction for only people of their own gender. Referring to a person as as bisexual for those who are attracted to men and to women physically and or emotionally. Even if there is a couple, it may be wiser to refer to them as "same sex(gender)" couple and not a gay couple. It is possible for a bisexual to be in a same sex relationship as a couple but one in the couple may be bisexual with attractions for both genders. One may be attracted to only same gender people and self identify as Gay. Unless you know that both people in the couple are gay , it may be wiser to use and think to use "same sex" couple.

Since you have been slowly moving to some sort of sex activity with a guy, it may be wise to have sex with someone that you are psychologically comfortable with and confident that they do not have STD rather than multiple partners at the same time. I think that a one on one exploration may be best for you rather than a m/f/m. Think that over a bit before jumping in to any group sex. The more people having sex the more complicated it may be for you.

[hung4you]

Group sex is sometimes hard to coordinate but I have been fortunate enough to achieve this many times. The men I play with are normally 1on 1 but we all know each other and when schedules allow we make it a group thing. During our group get togethers there are 3 tops and 2 of us bottoms.

This is upcoming weekend the Wisconsin Deer season opens for 9 days and me and my buddies will be in the Northwoods hunting at my remote cabin. For the last 10 yrs we make our pilgrimage north for hunting and lots of sex. Our group has a standing motto, there are no rules just as long as everyone agrees to the outcome.

After the 9 day hunt ends everyone leaves for their respective homes fully exhausted and spent .

[sysper]

i'm so sorry u guys have to be stuck with each other for days having sex lmao!!!! but seriously it's nice a group of friends with this in common can make the time to get togather even once a year for some sexy fun, or in ur case alot of sexy fun :) from the way u wrote it seems like it's good for the soul too. maybe i could be open to something like this sometime in my future. probalby not a good idea for my 1st time though. although maybe i wanna have a gay experiance just 1 time in my life & if i'm gonna experiance it maybe it should be to the extreme!
ps i'd be ok with 1 women or more watching me maybe cheering me on