Friends to more than friends !!

[ytownohm]

Me and a friend have decided to be "more than friends", but i am worried about that for a few reasons.... i am not worried about losing this friend if things dont go right.... before we never really worried about how we looked and acted around each other and now??? we obviously will... quite frankly, we are really good friends and it is impossible that things won't be different when we are alone.... and one other thing that bothers me is we are both married and have to still act like 'regular' friends while around our friends... while we act like 'more than friends' when alone... HELP !!

[ambi53mm]

Ytown,

Having walked in those shoes before, I can tell you that of course there will be some calculated risk involved. How you act around one another while in the presence of your wife or friends wouldn’t be my biggest concern. It’s not to say that things won’t change in the way you and you’re friend relate to one another but I would assume, that if you’ve been able to mask these feelings and the resulting behavior in the past without difficulty then you are already practiced in the art of deception. The most erotic and meaningful male to male sex I’ve ever had, has been with a select couple of friends over the years that for appearances sake, were either in a relationship with a woman or married. Friends we hung out with were never the wiser. We acted no differently after the fact than we did prior to “extending our friendship to a new level”. We appeared to the world as straight and continued to appear that way.
It’s not the best situation when you have to keep hidden who you are or what you are you about. Sometimes, there seems little alternative. We make choices.
The biggest risk for me personally, wasn’t in how I would act afterwards. I am a Master at Deception when it suits my needs and the fact that I’ve survived to this age is a testament to how well I can adapt and play whatever role I need toplay in order to assure my survival. The risk lies in the unknown. What was always the unknown was how well the other person could deceive or how they might behave. I can control my own feelings, behaviors, rationale, etc. but to predict the complexity of another’s internal workings and how they might behave….impossible…There lies the risk :2cents:

Ambi :)

[LoveLion]

ahhhh, the old "Friend Relationship"

Having just graduated High school, I have seen alot of the whole just friends/ more then friends issue. At least be thankful that your not a overly dramatic teenager going through the same thing ,lol, I kid (had some interesting experiences with this same problem). Basically from what Iv experienced, things can get different and weird, but really only if you let them. The biggest source of awkwardness between two people who have decided to be more then friends is them thinking things are completely different. The two people no longer talk to each other the same way cuz they think that suddenly they cant share some things, or have to talk in a different way. The same goes for actions. What you have to do is basically act the same, but with more. Obviously if you are more then friends and getting into a relationship then you are going to do things you haven't as friends, but the most important thing to remember is dont give up anything you had before you decided to become more them friends. YOu shouldn't be trading away any of your old aspects of your "friend" relationship for new ones of your "More then Friends" relationship, rather you should be adding to your "Friends" relationship. Always remember that in a relationship like this, your friendship is the base of the relationship, and it cant say stable with out its base.

Concerning the marriage problem, unfortunately I have never been married, so I cant really help you out there, but best of luck to you !

[ytownohm]

thanks all... it has been a month now, and things are still going forward... so i appreciate the help.... i never thought about the decpetion reasoning like the first poster said... that does make alot of sense.. thanks alot