I'm really confused...Help me, please!

[samui]

Hi everyone!
I'm new to this site and I accepted that I'm bi not so long ago, so this all is new to me.I have a crush on my best friend, who is also female.I don't know whether to tell her or not.She may accept that or it could ruin our friendship, I don't want that at all...I don't know her orientation,she never really talks about it.She doesn't have anything against bi or gay/lesbian people, our mutual friends are gay and she's ok with it.We joked around a bit, pretended to be together around other people.We once met a group of old school friends(we haven't seen them for a while) and started chatting.When we turned to the theme of relationships she asked me something like "Did u sleep with him?How could u cheat on me!", and I don't know if she's been kidding or not.She always tells me how she wants to be with that or this guy, but at the same time we go out and she doesn't fail to point out some girl:"Look at her, she's so hot!"...Sometimes she calls every day and we talk for hours, she asks me things that are really important, although I don't know if she really cares about my opinion.On my birthday she told me I was her best friend in the world and that she was very lucky to have me in her life...She frequently tells me she loves me, although I think she means it only as friends.On the other hand there are times, like now, when she doesn't answer my emails or messages, can't find time to go out or even just talk.The last time I called she said she was busy and she never called back...We haven't talked for about 2 weeks and that's not the first time she's like that.Most of the time I feel like she's just playing with me, but then we meet again, she smiles and it all doesn't matter.What should I do?Should I just tell her about my feelings or will it ruin everything? :(

[hisnhers]

Well next time you got out and such, especially if you get into one of the "role play" kiss her and see how she reacts... and go from there... there are not so studdle ways to find out without coming out and asking.. She may be bicurious but afraid to say something that you look down on her about it.. and next time she says that woman is hot - reply back with yeah she is wouldn't mind getting her in bed and sucking on her tits.. or something in the manner.. and see how she reacts... Hope this helps... and Good luck...

[bediddle]

Have you told her that you're bi?

That could be a very good start.

I first came out to a lesbian friend and her advice was to tell people - that telling people would make things start happening. I did and she was absolutely right. :D

Good luck.

[mamajuggs]

Well all I can tell you is what happened to me. I knew that I was sexually attracted to women my whole life but ignored it. When I finally decided that I would do something about it, I started looking online for bisexual sites. I have watched and read and still not experienced the joy of making love with another woman. The one person I decided to "come out" to was my best friend. Well she is no longer my best friend, she won't speak to me and if we run into each other she walks past me as if she doesn't see me. I admitted my crush on her to her and all it got me was loss and sorrow. Hopefully for you things will be different.

[LoveLion]

Personality Iv had nothing but bad luck when it comes to trying to turn a friendship into a relationship. Every time I have tried to do so it has ended with the person never talking to me again. Which sucks, because I strongly believe that a long term relationship cant work without a foundation of friendship. I think it partially comes down to how willing the person is take the friendship to the next level, and what the person's views of friendship are. If the person has a very fluid view about friendship/relationship and tends to blur the lines between the two then it could work. Now if the person keeps a very conservative view on friendship/relationship and always likes to know where a person stands (ie are they in the friend category or the lover category) and always likes to be "officially" with someone romantically, then it will not work. Thats what Iv found from my experiences. (most people tend to be on the conservative side) Now obviously your situation is a touch more complex due to not knowing her sexuality, so I would start out with small suggestions and actions that express how you feel for her, and then keep making them more and more obvious and aggressive (slowly though). Get her to start questioning you and herself so she opens her mind up to different possibilities. it is a little manipulative, but thats what you gotta do in this world to get something you want right?

[samui]

Thanks for ur advices, I hope they'll help.I'm going out to some movies with her soon and I'll try smth...