trying to be good but wanting to be bad :)

[june99]

hi! Im a straight female but am experiment with my sexuality as I am willing to try anything at least once. I have a boyfriend but we've been thousands of miles apart for more than 6 months now. He kinda grounded me when I met him..I was pretty free spirited (wink wink) before I met him....now, I try to be good while being away but I can't help but think of being horny with my old friend that i hang out wuth now. My old pal here is gay and involved with a live in gay partner...my friend and I had torridly kissed years back which since then, made me think of him as bisexual...now that we are almost together every day, I have dreams of giving him a blow job and kissing him again. we still have that chemistry as before...I dont think his live in partner knows that we kissed before...and we have never discussed our past (kissing) now that we hang out. i want so badly to kiss him..maybe give him a blow job....but i cant really say if he;s up for it...i just play with my mind and dusmiss it all together but i dream about it everday...how should i deal with this?

[krrptyc]

If end up getting together, I wonder if it would provide you with insight on a preference for your future lifestyle, "free sprited" or "grounded."

[welickit]

From our point of view a cheat and a liar of either sex has only cheating and lies to offer anyone they meet or are involved with. Grow up a bit and and you will get the point. :2cents:

[LoveLion]

From our point of view a cheat and a liar of either sex has only cheating and lies to offer anyone they meet or are involved with. Grow up a bit and and you will get the point.

Thats a little harsh.

I can understand your frustration, June. A long distance relationship always seems ridicules, especially when you are apart for 6 months at a time! Your both just really limiting each other and stopping each other from enjoying sexual and romantic experiences. If I were in your position the first thing I would do would be to talk to your boyfriend about opening up your relationship a bit and allow for you and him to enjoy yourselves when your apart. As for you gay friend, I'm not really sure what to do there. Dont forget about his feelings for his life partner and it would be cruel to not consider his life partner's as well. Whatever you decide, all the best to you :)

[Avocado]

If your boyfriend's that bad then dump him, but don't cheat behind his back while you're still together.

[wantus269]

I say go for it! If you want to get intimate with your gay friend then do it!
Think your boyfriend away for the past 6 months, and however much longer he will be gone, hasn't had or won't have any "fun?" Do you think he just has a few jack off sessions by himself a couple times a week/month? Highly unlikely! But I don't know the guy. If you have a strong desire, which it sounds like you do, to get intimate with your gay friend, then talk to him about it and respect his answer. If he says yea, then great! If he passes, don't get disappointed. But, from being in a long distance relationship, they never work right. One gets lonely while the other is getting friendly with someone else. Or they both get friendly with someone else and both lie to each other about it. So, just do it and get rid of the guy that ditched you for 6 months! Everyone has needs and he obviously isn't fulfilling them for you!
Good luck in whatever you do!

[Avocado]

I say go for it! If you want to get intimate with your gay friend then do it!
Think your boyfriend away for the past 6 months, and however much longer he will be gone, hasn't had or won't have any "fun?" Do you think he just has a few jack off sessions by himself a couple times a week/month? Highly unlikely! But I don't know the guy. If you have a strong desire, which it sounds like you do, to get intimate with your gay friend, then talk to him about it and respect his answer. If he says yea, then great! If he passes, don't get disappointed. But, from being in a long distance relationship, they never work right. One gets lonely while the other is getting friendly with someone else. Or they both get friendly with someone else and both lie to each other about it. So, just do it and get rid of the guy that ditched you for 6 months! Everyone has needs and he obviously isn't fulfilling them for you!
Good luck in whatever you do!

What a stupid thing to say. Believe it or not, most people wouldn't cheat just because they have the opportunity whatever the circumstances.

[darkeyes]

What a stupid thing to say. Believe it or not, most people wouldn't cheat just because they have the opportunity whatever the circumstances.Think that depends who the circumstance is Avocado hun.

[Avocado]

Think that depends who the circumstance is Avocado hun.

It also depends on the person. I would never cheat out of pride and self respect. There's always an alternative to cheating. For example, either demanding he comes back or it's over. Or open relationship or it's over. Or it's over. But cheating behind someone's back? There's always an alternative.

[darkeyes]

It also depends on the person. I would never cheat out of pride and self respect. There's always an alternative to cheating. For example, either demanding he comes back or it's over. Or open relationship or it's over. Or it's over. But cheating behind someone's back? There's always an alternative.Do agree wiv ya ther is always an alternative..not every1 is so perfect tho they can resist, spesh wer feelins involved. In fact me thinks that if cirumstances r jus so, very few won cheat wether feelins involved r not.. so don b so holier than thou.. we all hav failins God knows me dus.. as crappy ole James Bond film says..never say never..

Or if ya prefer..there for the grace of God go I.

[Avocado]

I know what you mean. I try not to be judgemental on people who cheat or even on people who say you should. But I feel that saying your partner will cheat is more an attempt to portray something as a fact rather than a point of view. If I was with someone who beat me, was stronger than me, and the only escape was getting together with someone without telling them 1st who would smuggle me away then I would cheat. Other than something like that, feelings or not, I would always end a relationship 1st.

[twodelta]

It also depends on the person. I would never cheat out of pride and self respect. There's always an alternative to cheating. For example, either demanding he comes back or it's over. Or open relationship or it's over. Or it's over. But cheating behind someone's back? There's always an alternative.

I have to agree with Avocado on this one. You see, I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I got caught cheating once. Even though it had been a very loving relationship, and she "forgave" me, things just were never the same. She couldn't really trust me anymore. Knowing that my irresponsabilty caused so much pain, was a feelling worse than any I'd had before or since. So my advice to anyone considering cheating for any reason is don't. If Your relationship is in such a state that You are considering cheating, it's probably time to get out of it anyway - Dave :2cents:

[darkeyes]

I have to agree with Avocado on this one. You see, I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I got caught cheating once. Even though it had been a very loving relationship, and she "forgave" me, things just were never the same. She couldn't really trust me anymore. Knowing that my irresponsabilty caused so much pain, was a feelling worse than any I'd had before or since. So my advice to anyone considering cheating for any reason is don't. If Your relationship is in such a state that You are considering cheating, it's probably time to get out of it anyway - Dave :2cents:

Most, at least in principle will agree with ya twodelta. Unfortunately it brings us down to the imperfections which make us human. Sumtimes lure of the forbidden fruit is simply to strong, the desire too gr8 an consequently we fall with all the hurt an chaos that brings. Also sumtimes without warnin we r caught up in a sudden act of crazy passion which brings all hell down on us. I make no justification for ne of it merely an explanation that as sexual human beins we r likely 2 risk all, whoeva we r in an insane execrcise in lust which can create havoc all around.

Worst of all, is when we have some1 we love deeply and without warnin find ourselves caught up in a deceitful an dishonest passion with some1 for whom we hav real feelins, for whom we feel also so deeply that we risk all. It is easy 2 sit back an judge as so many do when relationships end. In the end only two peeps know the whole truth, an those r those involved in the illicit passion. The world then judges and finds us wantin, our partner forgives or duz not, our relationship survives or duz not, a new love begins or duz not. What is certain is that our actions will cause pain, chaos, tears will be shed an all will hav 2 live with the consequences an we, the instigators of such tragedy must live with the guilt.

In the end I return 2 wer I began in this post.. we r human beins an as such bloody imperfect creatures. Who r we 2 judge? Wot rite do we hav 2 criticise?Ur advice is sound delta babes..an me goes long wiv it 100%.. but u an I know that our needs an passions will often drag us away from followin it. That our emotions r often uncontrollable, an that sumtimes ther is nuthin we can do 2 prevent chaos pain an disaster.

[twodelta]

It is easy 2 sit back an judge as so many do when relationships end..... What is certain is that our actions will cause pain, chaos, tears will be shed an all will hav 2 live with the consequences an we, the instigators of such tragedy must live with the guilt.

I Wasn't judging, just trying to make the point that You did at the end of Your post. I'm just hoping that someone can learn from my mistakes, and the thought of what I've gone through will help them to see that cheating is not something to take lightly. You are right that we must live with the guilt, I still do even after 20 years. - Dave

[eddy10]

In my 'opinion,' communication is the key. Talk with your long distance bf. Tell him honestly how you feel. Tell him what you told us. See what he says and go from there. After that, depending on the outcome of you talk with bf, you may want to also have a talk with the bi friend. Also, tell him of your true feelings.

It is my code that I will not "cheat." But, it is not cheating if you openly discuss the situation.

[LoveLion]

In my 'opinion,' communication is the key

I agree that communication is a good thing, but you have to beware that it can also be a bad thing. In my experience communicating to much can be worse then communicating nothing at all. It is good to tell others how you feel, but people have to be willing to hear it. Just blurting out that you wanna have sex with another man to your boyfriend may not be the best idea, or just right out telling your gay friend that you wanna have sex with him. With things like this you need to be actively conscious of what words you choose and how much you communicate at a time.

[izzfan]

Firstly, just an interesitng point....those who have been so quick to offer condemnations of ppl 'playing away' have been the couples, which is understandable. Personally, I don't like ppl having affairs (2 of my str8 friends have had relationships break up due to cheating girlfriends and I have always been one of the ppl who has had to pick up the pieces) but I also find the concept of a 'long distance' relationship totally pointless, however a relationship which is too claustrophobic/close can also lead ppl to cheat (why do u think those 2 of my str8 friends had their girlfriends cheat on them? Both blokes were constantly with their girlfriends [one was literally always with his girlfriend and the other was with her quite a bit and also quite 'posessive', 'controlling' etc...] and it probably was one of the main causes for the breakdown of the relationships). Personally, I am very wary of relationships in general as they tend to be quite claustrophobic things with lots of arguments and negative emotions/arguments (especially the case for str8 relationships from what I have seen of them). I mean relationships are dull, slow things that end up causing arguments etc... and distract from more important things (when I talk about relationships I am referring to when I was in school/college.... quite a few of my mates have had lower grades than they would have if they hadn't wasted time and money on their girlfriends....sorry, I was kind of cynical about it then and I still am now). Now that I am at university and able to be a bit more open about my sexuality (75% gay, 25% str8) I still enjoy the freedom of being single, not having arguments every few days, not wasting loads of time that I could be using for far more productive ends, not having tearful break-ups etc... and people ask me why I prefer one night stands? lol

Just my :2cents:

Izzfan :flag3:

(ps: I am not totally shutting out the possiblilty of a relationship but I am quite strongly biased against it at the moment)