My ex knows I'm bi and wants a 3 way...

[Bicuriousity]

I dated this girl for 3 years and a couple of years ago we broke up due to arguements, etc. She still calls from time to time and has expressed that she wants to get back together.

I admitted a few times while dating that I had bi feelings, and since then have spoken more about those feelings.

We've discussed fantasies and one that I've always had is to be with another guy and a girl at the same time (the MMF fantasy)

She is into the idea, but theres one big problem. I have a great girlfriend now who I love and the idea of cheating isn't high on my list. She also is not open to me being bi. In some ways I've brought up the concept of bisexuality and she jokes about it, but has displayed that she wouldn't like to date a guy that's bi (even though I am).

The one thing is, I've met a really cute bi guy that is interested. I haven't had sex with him but would love to. Since all parties are interested, I'm just worried that one night the arousal of all these fantasy might lead me to following through on it.

The other thought is with her being my ex, and all those old feelings, I think if I ever did go through with this it might be better served with a completely different girl.

Any thoughts/opinions?

[someotherguy]

You are bi, and your GF doesn't want to date a bi guy, so, for that reason, you shouldn't be dating her. Does she know you are bi? If so, she is blonde and you have nothing to worry about. If not, she is under the false impression you are straight. That deception is a blemish on your soul. Try some Oxy 5 cleansing pads. The order for your priorities should be:

1. Honesty
2. Sex
3. Cool looking car

I'm glad I could be so much help on such short notice.

[Herbwoman39]

You love your girlfriend but she doesn't love you to accept that you are bisexual? Is that correct? If this is so, why are you with someone who does not accept who you are?

Don't settle for someone who doesn't love you whoelly and completely. Life is FAR too short for that.

As for the three-way, if you're concerned that having sex with her will rekindle old emotions, stay AWAY from the ex and just find another woman that both you and the other guy like.

Good luck.

[Long Duck Dong]

* grins*, and hands Bicuriousity a can of worms and a can opener

lol....i am not gonna preach the dangers of cheating or going behind ya current gf's back with ya ex and another guy.... you already know how dangerous that can get

and nor am i gonna preach on the ethics of love and trust in a relationship....lol

all i am gonna ask is how important to you, is being bi and getting ya fantasy fulfilled ??

breaking somebodies heart just so a person can have a fantasy fulfilled.....well....*shrugs * it happens.... a lot....but i know that i wouldn't do it to a person cos i know how much it hurts

[Bicuriousity]

Yeah I can't see breaking this girls heart. It's why i havent done it, yet...

She is wonderful to me. The only thing is, she isn't open minded about the bi stuff.

I know it's best to find a girl that is, but how many truly are? Perhaps if this girlfriend knew she would be open minded about it but a few times we breach the subject in a joking manner and she says something like ewww!. She has alot of gay and even a few transexual friends believe it or not though!

The big thing is, the ex still loves me. The sex was always great with her, BUT.... the rest of life could be difficult with her LOL.

[Long Duck Dong]

roflmao......dude..... roflmao

get to know her...... I think you may find that she is open to it.... its just she is seeing the actions of her friends and judging by that....lol

ask her in a serious manner, why she has a issue with bisexuality but has gay, trans friends.... but make it clear that you don't have a issue with her friends,...

fuck it..... *sighs*... ok ya girlfriend is partly bisexual.... she has kissed a couple of other females...when she was about 13-14......she fells more comfortable around her gay trans friends... than around straight guys, and thats cos of a past relationship.... I think its the one when she was 17-18...
her parents, well the father is a reserved type person, the mother is a lil more direct.....

btw, ya gf, is not keen on anal sex......

and PLEASE don't ask me how i know this stuff

[LoveLion]

Step 1: Tell her you are bi and make sure she knows you are serious

Step 2: Did she accept it?

YES: She might be a keeper, Forget about you ex, you got a good thing going

NO: Well, nothing you can do about her. Have fun!

[deremarc]

1) Long Duck Dong-are you psychic? Interested to hear how your theory pans out. :)

2) Bicuriousity-I may be way off the mark here, but I think you should stay away from your ex (at least while you are in a relationship). Even before your second post where you said she was still in love with you-I thought that was probably the case. I think your ex knows more about your relationship with your current gf than she probably should. Have you told your ex that your gf doesn't want to accept you being bi? It is dangerous ground. The ex loves you, wants you back...she knows your gf isn't going to fulfill your bi fantasies right now, and she offers that now (when you are in another relationship-and not when you were with her?) I think this is a way for her to get You back..not necessarily because she wants a MFM (or at least not just ANY MFM..but one with You).

Just my opinion.

And, if your girlfriend is great, and you want to explore your bi side--give HER a chance to accept it and be involved with it before you offer the option to someone outside the relationship. You may be pleasantly surprised.

[Mrs.F]

1) Long Duck Dong-are you psychic? Interested to hear how your theory pans out. :)

2) Bicuriousity-I may be way off the mark here, but I think you should stay away from your ex (at least while you are in a relationship). Even before your second post where you said she was still in love with you-I thought that was probably the case. I think your ex knows more about your relationship with your current gf than she probably should. Have you told your ex that your gf doesn't want to accept you being bi? It is dangerous ground. The ex loves you, wants you back...she knows your gf isn't going to fulfill your bi fantasies right now, and she offers that now (when you are in another relationship-and not when you were with her?) I think this is a way for her to get You back..not necessarily because she wants a MFM (or at least not just ANY MFM..but one with You).

Just my opinion.

And, if your girlfriend is great, and you want to explore your bi side--give HER a chance to accept it and be involved with it before you offer the option to someone outside the relationship. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Exactly....could not have said that better myself. Being a woman, being an ex-girlfriend (in the past of-course) I know that she is probably doing and saying what she is to get you back with her. You are better off to stay away from the ex, talk with your now gf and give her a chance to learn and understand with you. I had to do that just last yr. when I found out after 10 yrs. of marriage that my husband was bisexual. It made me feel bad that my husband felt I would never understand or accept him knowing he was bi. People are always growing, always changing and that's what life is all about. Give her the chance to know who you really are. ;)
Good luck!!!

[welickit]

Better to be hated for who you are
Than loved for who you aren't. :2cents:

[happyjoe68]

My philosophy is this:

If you have any doubts about doing something/anything, then its life's (or your subconscious's) way of telling you not to do it.

If you have a 3way, then it must be *your* decision, not anyone else's. Be fully aware of the consequences/price you might have to pay relationship wise.

[PolyLoveTriad]

Ok, So maybe Im not the best one to give advice to anyone about anything, BUT....

First things first, the girl youre with, youre bi, she doesnt want to date a bi guy. BIG HUGE BAD BAD BAD BAD, Have I stressed BAD thing to be dating her. Whoever youre with needs to be accepting of you for WHO you are. Youre bi, if she cant or wont accept that, then you need to find someone who will be. Theres tons of women out here who will love you for WHO you are!

Second, cheating is cheating, same sex, opposite sex, best friends, one nighters, its all cheating. This girl who although 'doesnt want to be with a bi guy' thinks that youre committed to her and only her, therefore its cheating.

Third, it kind of sounds like your ex just wants to use you, but hey, whatever floats your boat!


If I had to give you advice in only one sentence...

WHEN IN DOUBT, GO WITHOUT :) Happy New Year!