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Long Duck Dong
Jan 12, 2007, 8:48 PM
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong,


But there you are,
Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullsh @t ,
Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.

Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.

(Chorus)

I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sêx life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sêx with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,

Go on now go,
Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone
run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation,
Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.

Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers,
Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick
Dip it in tomato sauce.

(Chorus)

Go on now go,
Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
'Cos I know its length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.

Go on now Go!

sweetgagirl
Jan 12, 2007, 9:09 PM
OMG...that is perfect and I love you for the post!!!! That just brought a smile to my face like no other...HA HA!!!! :tongue:

ambi53mm
Jan 12, 2007, 9:29 PM
:::Shakes head::: LDD LOL I needed that...your talent never ceases to amaze me . You make me laugh one moment and cry the next..that was too cool!! LOL

Ambi :)

Long Duck Dong
Jan 12, 2007, 9:47 PM
i can't claim the credit for that, i was sent to me a few months ago by a friend that discovered it on a website...... it wasn't until I was having a clear out that i found it and posted it lol

meteast chick
Jan 12, 2007, 11:09 PM
OMG that's absolutely fantastically funny!

Thanks for the smile LDD!!!

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxox
meteast

bigirl_inwv
Jan 12, 2007, 11:45 PM
That really made my day. It was absolutely hilarious. Thanks for sharing the smiles LDD. :bigrin:

onewhocares
Jan 13, 2007, 4:11 AM
Hysterical.................

Good thing he did not show
up upon my door
I would have looked upon his rod
and demanded so much more
I am a wonder woman
and know I can't be beat
but with such a scrawny little parcel
I would have yearned for lots more meat

So I am back
with my head held up so high
I will stay with MY lover
Cause he so much longer
and makes me come so well
I will never say GOODBYE



Belle

ambi53mm
Jan 13, 2007, 10:20 AM
The Humiliated Male Rebuttal

It’s the story of my life
The way it always goes
When I told you 10 inches bitch
I was referring to my nose
And who are you to judge
With comments rude and crass
I guarantee you’d feel it
If you’d take it up the ass

But that’s alright
I’ll be on my way
With a crack as large as yours
You’d never feel it anyways
I may not be the big guy
As I listen to you fuss
But your multi-speed has stretched you so
That I could park a bus

But hey that’s cool
I may be small
But so are the diamonds,
That now decorate my balls
I may not be John Holmes
But my wiener serves me well
It’s easier to keep clean
And at least it doesn’t smell

And in regard to size
Whose the bigger tease
When your 38 double DD’s
Turned out to be, just 33’s
I guess no one’s perfect
And on that note I’ll close
But there’s still time to change your mind
And hey don’t forget about my nose!… hey hey

Ambi :)

Gemini25
Jan 13, 2007, 1:49 PM
{{{CLAPPING}}} OH MY GOD! Those were so great you are all so cleaver. Thank for the laughs.

darkeyes
Jan 13, 2007, 4:05 PM
{{{CLAPPING}}} OH MY GOD! Those were so great you are all so cleaver. Thank for the laughs.


No better women's anthem than The Cleaver is ther Curio?? Allbi???... tee hee. Must run...saturday nite an fun calls... x

Long Duck Dong
Jan 13, 2007, 6:10 PM
roflmao.....ambi...i love it...... i have tears running down my face... my sides hurt,.....my coffee is split everywhere....and i am nearly wetting my pants......lol that was fantastic

Gemini25
Jan 13, 2007, 6:17 PM
No better women's anthem than The Cleaver is ther Curio?? Allbi???... tee hee. Must run...saturday nite an fun calls... x

LOL thanks for catching that Darkeyes.... I actually meant to say they were clever..... But the cleaver song could be interesting as well..... LOL :tong:

darkeyes
Jan 14, 2007, 3:27 PM
Scary for Curio an Allbi tho...tee hee.

magical_dreamgirl
Jan 14, 2007, 3:37 PM
There are the funniest things I have ever read! As I was "reading" them I was actually "singing" to the song!! Tapping my foot and everything!!!
Bravo!

Thank you so much!
What a wonderfully fun place this Bisexual.Com is!

Magical Dreamgirl

AngelOfTheMystic
Jan 15, 2007, 9:06 AM
I love it Long Duck Dong!! That is a great song thanks for the post!!

chook
Jan 16, 2007, 5:22 PM
Moral to this story fella's is.............DONT BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!.......and you too will survive


Cheers Chook :bigrin: