Orientation and Image

[gentlepen9]

It's apparent that in the straight community that image is very important; the clothes you wear, the shape of your body, the way you wear your hair, your age and all other things relating to appearance as well as some other stuff (job, car, etc...) can sometimes make or break the opportunity for hookin' up with someone. But in regards to just physical appearance has any man/woman here ever came across this same attitude in the LGBT community?
Has any man/woman here ever felt that they might not be attractive enough to gain the attention of members of the same sex simply because you didn't fit an ideal image? And lastly, any man/woman here ever felt they needed to look a certain way in order to be more convincing as a same-sex loving person?

[but that's my name!!]

I've often been regarded as too fem. I've also heard lots of really bitchy comments from gay men directed at er well basicly everyone but then my girlfriend says I can at times be really bitchy about straight men (mabe I spent too much time in the London gay scene a few years back).

[izzfan]

I've had gay ppl compliment me on my looks before which surprised me greatly as I don't make any effort to be 'fashionable' and I wouldn't describe myself as particularly good looking lol. As for dressing to look like I love ppl of the same sex then I can't say that I really do, I mean I do wear nail varnish @ university but its usually black varnish or darker colours so it doesn't really look feminine. oh, and strangely enough, on the few occasions tht i hav an excuse to CD in public, I seem to find myself more attracted to women. strange.

Izzfan :flag2:

[DiamondDog]

It's apparent that in the straight community that image is very important; the clothes you wear, the shape of your body, the way you wear your hair, your age and all other things relating to appearance as well as some other stuff (job, car, etc...) can sometimes make or break the opportunity for hookin' up with someone. But in regards to just physical appearance has any man/woman here ever came across this same attitude in the LGBT community?
Has any man/woman here ever felt that they might not be attractive enough to gain the attention of members of the same sex simply because you didn't fit an ideal image? And lastly, any man/woman here ever felt they needed to look a certain way in order to be more convincing as a same-sex loving person?

double post...

[DiamondDog]

It's apparent that in the straight community that image is very important; the clothes you wear, the shape of your body, the way you wear your hair, your age and all other things relating to appearance as well as some other stuff (job, car, etc...) can sometimes make or break the opportunity for hookin' up with someone. But in regards to just physical appearance has any man/woman here ever came across this same attitude in the LGBT community?
Has any man/woman here ever felt that they might not be attractive enough to gain the attention of members of the same sex simply because you didn't fit an ideal image? And lastly, any man/woman here ever felt they needed to look a certain way in order to be more convincing as a same-sex loving person?

I'd say that image is very important in the gay community.

People can be such shallow perfectionists about it to the point where they wouldn't notice their dream guy (and would find something wrong with him, even if they did notice him) even if he walked right by.

Not everyone's like this but I'm just saying that some people are and I'm just going by on what I've seen/heard over the years.

I personally attract lots of attention from men and women and I think that most people can tell I'm not heterosexual, even heterosexuals.

I usually get fetishized for my youth, thin body/flat stomach, facial/body hair, and my handsome face. I'm big into people watching so some people think I'm cruising them when I'm not.

I don't mind the attention, and I take it as a compliment; but I don't like being fetishized, groped/heavily cruised when I'm just out having fun with friends, or being treated like a piece of meat.

[jookboxcharlie]

Once I became comfortable with the idea that I was bi, I started to care more about how I look- I've started using hair product, I've grown a soul patch, etc. It may be completely unrelated, or it may be me no longer caring if I "look gay." Who knows? :cool:

[NorthBiEast]

I decided long ago that if someone was going to judge my based on my appearance, then THEY would be missing out on ME, but I would not be missing out on them, they wouldn't be worth my time. I've worn make up twice in my life, once for senior prom, and once for my wedding (and that only by force from my bridal party)
I refuse to hide who I am or what I look like under social conventions. I wouldn't describe myself as "butch" but I certainly don't go out of my way to appear or act feminine. How that effects my "eligibility" in the eyes of potential lovers, I don't know, and I don't care. I'm not interested in someone who is only looking at me physically. Could I stand to loose a few pounds, sure, but not because some girl at a bar says so. :upside:

[KChsnyFan4Life]

I have been told I dont act or dress like a lesbian or bi but there are some things that come out that is really knowing that Im bi.....I have that alot in the straight community.....I aint good enough I dont look fem. enough blah blah blah BS....

At first I was upset about it but now I just dont care no more....I know what I like and what I want and whether its a female or male if they dont like me they are missing out on a great opportunity to get to know me.....

every guy I know in the straight community doesnt want me because I am very tomboyish or butchyish....and I am the dominant part of any relationship....

This world has come down to just looks....everybody has to look a certain way or dress a certain way to get attention...I dont like it......

But I am going to be reaching out to the bi/lesbian community because I need to be myself and feel happy again.....

[but that's my name!!]

I have been told I dont act or dress like a lesbian or bi but there are some things that come out that is really knowing that Im bi.....I have that alot in the straight community.....I aint good enough I dont look fem. enough blah blah blah BS....

At first I was upset about it but now I just dont care no more....I know what I like and what I want and whether its a female or male if they dont like me they are missing out on a great opportunity to get to know me.....

every guy I know in the straight community doesnt want me because I am very tomboyish or butchyish....and I am the dominant part of any relationship....

This world has come down to just looks....everybody has to look a certain way or dress a certain way to get attention...I dont like it......

But I am going to be reaching out to the bi/lesbian community because I need to be myself and feel happy again.....

I think I know how you feel.
Some people like "tomboyish or butchyish" girls.
Be yourself, never compromise on that.

[KChsnyFan4Life]

I think I know how you feel.
Some people like "tomboyish or butchyish" girls.
Be yourself, never compromise on that.

some people do but a lot dont....a lot of men dont and it wont work because when I think of a mans...thingy it turns me off!!

but I definately get turned on thinking of a female and being with one....

[but that's my name!!]

some people do but a lot dont....a lot of men dont and it wont work because when I think of a mans...thingy it turns me off!!

but I definately get turned on thinking of a female and being with one....

I just posted this reply somewhere else; If thats how you feel with guys, simple. Don't bother :)

[KChsnyFan4Life]

I just posted this reply somewhere else; If thats how you feel with guys, simple. Don't bother :)

yea I know.....its the problem with my parents....but I have to do what makes me happy....

I have told my mom my scenerio but she keeps saying he wasnt the right one itll be better when you love the guy blah blah blah....but I just dont feel that way because whether you love the man or not....if you see a mans thingy you get horny and want sex even when you are not in the mood....mood or not it happens....it didnt happen turned me off and made me sick to stomach.....

[smokey]

I don't know but it always seemed to me that image is far more important in the gay community than the straight one... as for me generally I present a rather gender nuteral appearance until you look at the details, multiple earrings and finger rings, a penchant for nice fabrics such as finely woven scarves and the fact I go in for an older men's style...fedora hats button suspenders, vests preferrably embroidered, nice canes etc. that is when I chose to dress up at all.

[but that's my name!!]

yea I know.....its the problem with my parents....but I have to do what makes me happy....

I have told my mom my scenerio but she keeps saying he wasnt the right one itll be better when you love the guy blah blah blah....but I just dont feel that way because whether you love the man or not....if you see a mans thingy you get horny and want sex even when you are not in the mood....mood or not it happens....it didnt happen turned me off and made me sick to stomach.....

Personaly, I like cock but just seeing one doesn't automaticly turn me on.

I suggest trying something you like without trying to force a situation, if you test yourself the very act of testing will fuck up the test (am I makeing sense) if you get horny and want to have sex with someone then do so.

Open comunication with parents is good but they don't need to hear everything.
Do what makes YOU happy or you never will be.

[mistymockingbird]

I'm often told that someone was surprised to find that I was bisexual, because I don't look the part. I love asking someone, "so what does a bisexual look like exactly?"

I'm a girly girl. I give off certain vibes and whoever picks up on them picks up on them. I've had more difficulty getting dates because people are intimidated by my directness and my ambition than because of appearance issues. If someone doesn't want to get to know me solely based on how I look, then they're not the sort of person I want to know anyway. Similarly, if someone gets intimidated by my personality or approach to life...not the kind of person I'm gonna be friends with for long.

[ambi53mm]

.... But in regards to just physical appearance has any man/woman here ever came across this same attitude in the LGBT community?
Has any man/woman here ever felt that they might not be attractive enough to gain the attention of members of the same sex simply because you didn't fit an ideal image? And lastly, any man/woman here ever felt they needed to look a certain way in order to be more convincing as a same-sex loving person?

If there's a LGBT community in my area I'm unaware of it. There are people who by their sexual nature would qualify as Lesbian, Gay, Transexual or Bisexual but not in the sense of a cohesive community. I guess the closest you'd find in this location would maybe be a bar or two that caters to that clientele'.
Attraction like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm hardly conventional in my appearance but no far removed from the mainstream to draw notice for the most part. My next door neighbor also happens to be my hairstylist and I go to her place of business to " make me appear younger". LOL we are know as "the hippies next door". The type of same sex partner I would be attracted to would find me attractive not so much for appearance but for content. I maintain myself in as healthy attractive way as possible and really more for the purpose of being attractive to the opposite sex.I work in a creative field and so an uncoventional appearance isn't out of place however, the majority of my clientel are female. It's a competitive field where being attractive along with being able to communicate something as abstract as design into something visually concrete can make the difference between success and failure.
My wife is bi as well and is very feminine in her appearance. She is considered by both sexes to be very attractive physically but again it's her spirit that shines through and beyond, her physical attractiveness. The women she attracts are much like herself but, we are alike in that sexual stimulation is something that's more as a result of a spontaneous connection when it happens, but rarely the primary objective.

Ambi :)

[Lisa (va)]

[QUOTE=mistymockingbird]I'm often told that someone was surprised to find that I was bisexual, because I don't look the part. I love asking someone, "so what does a bisexual look like exactly?"

QUOTE]

I have always wondered what bisexuals are suppose to look like.

Given, there are those that are obvious: many butch woman and flamboyant guys. I think I am like most other folks and dress pretty much as I want or need (work, etc) and it has little to do with the nature of my sexuality. My
attire doesn't change when I am dating a woman as opposed to dating a man.
Though I have been known to take a week to pick out just the right outfit for a date.

Lisa

hugs n kisses