No profile = lurker?

[PolyLoveTriad]

Im just wondering, from people who dont have profiles, why you dont make one? Even one that says, "Just browsing" would be nice. I dunno, maybe its just me, I like reading about different people, you can really see some of the personalities come out in words. Theres so many very cool people Ive seen here :) So stop lurking, and make a profile! lol

[DiamondDog]

What about all the lurkers who don't join this site and just read the threads/posts?

Or the people who join and don't post anything at all?

[LoveLion]

What about all the lurkers who don't join this site and just read the threads/posts?

Or the people who join and don't post anything at all?


Sorry I missed the meaning of your post. Are you saying these people are ok or not ok?

[Solomon]

lol i think they're just a bit shy or something...

[biwords]

In my own case, I haven't yet put up a profile for two reasons: (1) born procrastinator (2) wasn't sure what I was looking for, wanted time to listen and consider before making a statement. Aiming to put up one very soon, tho. Honest!

[Long Duck Dong]

lol mmm if i am reading right, you are asking people to make profiles cos you like reading profiles ??? lol

imagines going thru a few 100 profiles that say * just browsing *

[warm heart]

ok,

Just speaking for myself....... but i have to be honest I am FAR more cautious engaging with anyone ....either thru private messages or chat who does not have a profile...... just thought I would add my :2cents: worth..... i am so honest in my profile i feel extreme caution when dealing with others who are not yet ready to disclose anything of themselves

Cheers
Warm :bibounce:

[flexuality]

From what I understand, there is quite a substantial influx of traffic to this site from the ThreePillows site (which is a sister site to this one) due to that site now using the chat on THIS site.

When they are looking for chat on the other site and get re-directed here, they need to at least sign up and get a username....thus the increase in people with no profile....or at least one factor in that.

At least that's how I understand it..... :2cents:

[spanbuzz2469]

I am more comfortable chatting with someone that has a profile, than without one. At least you get a feel for what they are here for. For me, photos are nice also.

[The Cheshire Cat]

Now...this is a question I have actually given some thought to (profiles). I have followed all the threads about the pros and cons of having one. For me, im not sure I really see the point in having one. I have been a member of this site sense it's inception a few years ago and truefully, I have nooo idea what I would put in one. I'm not here looking for anything. Hell, im not even bi! Sense i'm straight, I suppose I could say im trying to understand my bi husband or that i'm trying to understand bi people-but-that would not even be true anymore. I feel I have gone beyond that. I don't even think of this site in terms of bi, gay, straight..whatever. To me,the people I talk with are simply...well...people! People I have got to *know* and have enjoyed talking to and having fun with over the years (esp. over my morning coffee!) So, No I don't have a profile. And, No, i'm not a lurker. Maybe...one of these days..*sigh* ;) Cat

[12voltman59]

I had thought that I did not like to chat with people who have not posted a profile as yet but we have some people who are regulars for quite sometime who fall into that category and they are fine--I have also talked to many guys who are here for the first few times and are just kind of exploring their "bisexual desires" or however one defines it--they wind up bring fine to talk to--they feel a bit intimidated to both post things on the forum and to chat openly in the main chat room---they are just seeking someone to talk to about their feelings and such---they just want to know that they are not alone and going crazy----

There are of course that population of non-profile posters who are merely here to "lurk" or seek hook-ups of the cyber, cam, phone or real kinds----

It really is hard to make a generalization about much of anything--so do give those people who come on here just seeking to satisfy their "bisexual curious" nature a bit of slack---many are just normal guys trying to figure out a part of themselves they just quite don't understand yet.

Some of these guys have said they don't post anything up in the profile section because they are not seeking any kind of actual hookup or such--but merely information and a bit of friendship if possible.

It does seem that most of these guys don't stay here long --I guess they find out some answers to their questions or just try to "stuff their weird feelings back into the bottle" and go away---maybe its enough for them to know that they are not alone and their are many "in the same boat" as they--a middle-aged guy with a wife, kids, mortage and such who maybe had those nagging thoughts wondering what its like to have sex with another guy and how to deal with them--even if they have no intention to act on those desires---they are just trying to get some understanding of those thoughts and desires....

[mistymockingbird]

We all have our own reasons for coming here. Some people are just private. Many of the folks on this site that I'm closest to do not have profiles for one reason or another. True, I like to read a profile and look at pics (mostly cause I'm nosy), but there plenty of folks who don't seem to read them. I have a lengthy profile but still get approached by people who have obviously not read anything in it or only scrolled down to look at the pictures.

[deletetacount123]

When I first came to the site I had no profile.... I thought this was a sex site only where people cyber and all that lol (hey, it IS an adult site!!)

I browsed the boards for a few weeks, and a lot of posts were actually very helpful, some just being silly to make people laugh, some were about sex but most of the sex posts were seeking advice on what to do or just asking what people's perferences were.....etc

I thought "ok, its not so bad". Made a profile.
I did not have my picture up at first but overtime I became more comfortable with that especially when to many people wondered what I looked like :)

Tasha

[TaylorMade]

I'd always had an profile/ad here...Even when I was lurking. For some people it's their personality that they can't bear to be a part of a community without being distinctive in SOME sorta way.
Some people don't put up a profile because they don't want to be found out on an off chance. It's a shame, but for some people thats the way they are.

*Taylor*

[12voltman59]

I'd always had an profile/ad here...Even when I was lurking. For some people it's their personality that they can't bear to be a part of a community without being distinctive in SOME sorta way.
Some people don't put up a profile because they don't want to be found out on an off chance. It's a shame, but for some people thats the way they are.

*Taylor*

Taylor--I did not know about the Taylor Guitar company-they seem like nice instruments--when I see your name though--I think of this company:
http://www.taylormadegolf.com/home.asp

[TaylorMade]

I get that. Alot.

Whats worse... I hate golf.

:tongue:

*Taylor*

[Kuragxo]

I have no profile... I'm kinda shy...:) Seriously, though... I think my lack of a profile has more to do with a problem I have with trust. I am very leary of letting strangers know much about me.

Am I lurker? I guess for the most part yes. But I am like that in RL as well. I have a colleague who says I aspire to become a "professional outsider". I think and self-monitor "23 times" before I speak. :)

[welickit]

A profile is like a resume. The author writes what he wants to write. He posts a picture whether or not it is actually him/her. You need to learn to sort them out. Most of those without a profile aren't worth knowing anyway. They have something to hide or are living a lie. :2cents:

[DiamondDog]

Sorry I missed the meaning of your post. Are you saying these people are ok or not ok?
See Solomon's post about people being shy, that's what I meant.

When I first joined this site I didn't want to put a profile up but I did and I wrote a lot in it.

I know I probably won't find what I'm looking for on here but I'm on other sites and I pretty much use the same profile more or less for the other sites.

I get tired of playing 'tag' with people online who act like they're really interested in you and then just ignore you.

That doesn't really happen here but I've been on other sites where guys will tell you that you're handsome, sexy, and how they want to go on a date or whatever and then when it comes down to meeting they ignore you or dissapear!

Or people seem to move WAY too fast. I'm OK with meeting in public for coffee/tea, for a date but I usually like to get to know the person online or talk with them on the phone first for awhile, and I don't like to just chat with someone online and then meet them the next day or week, or sometimes even month/s.

Anyway, I get to know people and interact with them A LOT better in person than online or through a computer. I don't like how impersonal the internet can be and while I have made a few good friends online these are people I've interacted with, ended up meeting, and I've known them for awhile.

[LoveLion]

I dont mind think there is any problem with it. If your not comfortable with having one then no harm. There are also alot of people out there who come to this site who never sign up for the site. I for one had been coming to ths site for weeks, before I even registered. I couldn't post but I could read and that help me out as well. I was nervous at first about creating one, because I was still a little uncomfortable with the my sexuality and was afraid of being recognized. Im sure there are others like I was out there, who are getting help without even signing up which is a good thing.

[mjolnir17]

:bipride: Hello all. has anyone had problems trying to create and save their profile? thanks
adam

[BreeIsMe]

one thing I have noticed:
The profiles actually turn off if someone hasn't logged on in some time. That makes it look like they never posted a profile when in fact they did but since they have not been active, it is no longer viewable....

Even when they come back, the profile has to be reactivated... or redone

That may explain at least a portion of the "lurkers"

Bree

[mattypete]

Okay, I've been Personal Ad-less for quite some time. UNTIL NOW. Thanks for the kick in the ass. My ad is a little long, so, kudos to those who make it all the way through.

By the way, I don't feel as though I've been lurking around this site. I've been "doing my homework", just checking out what the site is all about. Also, I have been a bit shy and a bit lazy.

Thanks,

Matt

[Abbey Road]

I haven`t got a profile done yet as I don`t know how to set one up or what to put in it. Could anyone let me know how to do one & I`ll do mine as soon as possible. Many thanks.

Abbey Road. :bibounce: :paw:

[TaylorMade]

A profile is like a resume. The author writes what he wants to write. He posts a picture whether or not it is actually him/her. You need to learn to sort them out. Most of those without a profile aren't worth knowing anyway. They have something to hide or are living a lie. :2cents:

I wouldn't be that quick to slam the door on people. Sometimes all those words covers a hell of a turd. Sometimes, no profile, but you see 'em in chat and they're not half bad.

Of course there are those w/o profiles who aren't worth knowing, but like alot of things in the bi-universe, it isn't a hard and fast rule.

*Taylor*

[codybear3]

What about all the lurkers who don't join this site and just read the threads/posts?

Or the people who join and don't post anything at all?


In defense of the lurkers, (the good ones that may simply be too shy) I post, answer, and have even started a few threads...But in the chat room, I usually just lurk (those that know me know I speak with iron in my words)...But thats just cuz I type too slow to keep up with the chatting...Maybe some folks like to just read and find out what all the hype about "bisexuals" is all about...Some may be test driving the site...Others may simply just like to come in, get thier cookies off and be gone till next time...Who knows, but its better than the morons that join just to cause chaos by talking out of thier asses... :2cents: :paw: :paw:

[Mudblood]

ok,

Just speaking for myself....... but i have to be honest I am FAR more cautious engaging with anyone ....either thru private messages or chat who does not have a profile...... just thought I would add my :2cents: worth..... i am so honest in my profile i feel extreme caution when dealing with others who are not yet ready to disclose anything of themselves

Cheers
Warm :bibounce:

For me, it's not so much a matter of catiousness as it is cynicism. And I totally agree with codybear. I mean, I totally understand the people who are horribly shy, confused, or to identify themselves, but to me this applies more to the members who try actually take the step to interact with others. I'm really not bothered by people who just create a username for the sake of joining. Let them read whatever they want- doesn't hurt anyone.

But if you're going to say hi in the chat room, or send PMs or anything, don't be surprised by a less than warm reception. You're not risking anything by putting a few simple words in. You don't have to do any soul searching or know what you want either. If you have nothing you want to say, even a basic description of yourself is something...

[chook]

I dont have a profile because I simply chose not to put one in.....Its my choice!!! And anyway when I first came to this site about 6 odd years ago profiles didnt exist and as I say if you want to know anything about me just ask me its as easy as that........and as far as being a lurker........Yeah tha'll be right...ha ha


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[12voltman59]

I go back to what I said in my ramble above--while many of those who do not post a profile are often jerks--that is not always the case and just because they have one up does not mean they are not jerks either---you really have to judge a person by the way they act---and the things they say ---maybe I have been chatting long enough on the net in general and this room in particular that I can tell pretty quickly if someone I am talking to is a person I care to talk to or not--once again--there are no hard and fast rules on that and it is simply not possible to make generalizations....