glad to meet some really nice people here

[rayosytruenos]

Hi everyone!

Even if I'm a quite recent member, I thought that I found a really nice site, with quite understanding people and who could accept constructive criticism... Maybe I was wrong...

I love a lot of features of the site, and I've found people who I truly think are very nice and that I would like to keep and increase their friendship.

As a user, I thought that I could make some input with my thoughts about some features of the site, as I've done in other sites. Curiously, I have better feedback in other sites than here, although the people seemed to be here friendlier (at least in the chatroom). Some of the answers I've read which have made me upset seem to be ridiculizing or patronizing.

As anyone who has met me online in the chatroom, they know that I'm up for a bit of a laugh, being the first at having a laugh at myself and teasing others also, but in a (I think) healthy, non-offensive way (in my opinion). Nevertheless some of them who know me a bit better, they know that I can be quite serious also if it is needed.

I didn't expect everyone agreeing with my worries or concerns, and I didn't force anyone to do anything about my suggestions. What's more, I asked for opinions from all the people involved.

I'm glad that some of you are completely out or don't worry about the consequences of being caught by family, friends or colleagues. Unfortunately it's not my case, and I could probably lose the contact with some of my beloved relatives, friends or even my job.

Also, I'm glad that nobody seems to have had a bad experience with stalkers, therefore you don't seem to be worried by being pestered or checked every single movement you do, on-line and/or in real life. Not everyone is that lucky.

I think that if I decide to stay here, from now on I'll just keep my constructive criticism for myself, as it seems there is nowhere here to be accepted. Maybe my main reason for my possible stay is in order to contribute to some personal threads as I've done in other sites if I think that with that I could help somebody. Not because I'm something special, but because I can listen and be understanding and respectful.

I would like to keep the friendships I've found with some really nice people in the chatroom, but probably through some other forums/ways.

All the best,

rayosytruenos

[wellred]

Dear Ray,

I cannot speak for anyone other than me, so I will simply say that I hope you will stay. Admittedly, you are new to this site and the culture here is unique. Among the attributes are many warm, supportive, and kind people. There is also a strong sense of loyalty to the site, and against any imagined or real sense of threat to this experience. Because of the passionate nature of many, many people here -- we are very, very opinionated. And each has his or her own song. Often this passion is expressed in less than constructive ways. This environment is not always for the gentle spirit.

I know nothing about the details of your post, yet I strongly believe in your right to speak your mind. However, such courage invites whatever perceptions and responses that may follow. This may reguire you to occasionally duck or wear a bit of armor. If you leave or remain mum, your voice and potentially a unique perspective is lost from the group.

Frederick Douglass is quoted as saying: "If there is no struggle, there is no progress". Even if your comments seemingly do not receive an immediate positive response, who knows what ambers they may kindle?

I hope you will stay. I hope you will continue to let your voice clearly sing whatever tune you hear.

With Love and Light,
Red

[codybear3]

Lightning and Thunder...as wellred has stated, to quiet your voice is a loss to everyone. Alot of people may tune in just to read from these threads and maybe help them learn and discover themselves. In life, you will also get feedback that may be a little harsher than you might expect. But if you asked for opinions, then you got a response from individuals with "thier" own opinions. Like wellred said, slap on some armor and get ready to duck if needed...but by all means, do not quiet you mind..... ;)

P.S.- rayosytruenos...que tormenta seras... :tong: :paw: :paw:

[rupertbare]

Ray, just be yourself. At the end of the day that is all you can be or do anyway. I'm saddened that you feel your comments have not been recieved in the manner that you may have wished, but as Red has said - we are a many coloured thing. But most regulars are loyal to the "community" - and it is this aspect (Community) that makes this a most unique bi-site. Drew has taken on board many of the comments you have made - tweaking the system so that "what you're up to" within the site is a little more private.

As for "real" (as opposed to cyber) privacy - just use the internet "tools" button on your main window and erase all files and cookies. Although I am "out" to both my wife a a very FEW CLOSE friends, like yourself I would be horrified to find that various others did, by accident (especially certain members of my family). But, like a couple of others, I feel that your FEARS are greater than any chances of "being found out". As for stalkers - I not sure I understand - how can anyone "stalk" us - we don't have to give out e-mail details ( just use "private" messages) and the site contains no "real" names or addresses that anyone can gain access to.

So, anyway, I hope you continue to visit the site, chat with others and join in the forum.

Love and Peace,

Rupe, London, UK.

[csrakate]

Ray....oh Ray!!!...You know good and well that if you open yourself up to feedback, you are primarily going to hear from those who don't agree with you. The rest will just sit back and nod their heads accordingly and feel that they have nothing else to add. You know that you have a home here...we have opened our arms and our hearts to you in the chat room, so if you feel that the responses to your posts weren't what you needed...chalk that up to experience and come back to chat. And like Wellred and Cody said...might be time to put on the armor and let the criticism bounce off. We get so used to the touchy feely warmth of our times in chat that we are in no way prepared for anything that is remotely different, i.e. posters who don't agree and might be rather strong and assertive in their response.

Chalk this one up to experience my friend and move on...but please don't move away. We need you and your thoughts here....and if we don't necessarily agree, that doesn't mean that we don't love you.

Take care,
Kate :tongue:

[m.in.heels&hose]

Hello ray
i was one of those who was going to sit bac kand nod my head, (until kate made me realise something)
ray, i have seen you in the chat and i did notice you are like me and you tend to rely on humor to get you through the "nervousness" of meeting new people and wondering iif you going to be "accepted" , i can tell you this much, YOU HAVE and now the thought of loosing a fellow person from this great and unique site is a bit saddening,
if you still feel you must or shouuld leave then i will understand,
also, it does sadden me to think that in this day and age, that anyone coming out could be putting their livlihood in danger! this is just not right or ethical (in my opinion)
like i have said before "JUDGE A PERSON BY WHATS IN THEIR HEAD, AND NOT BY WHATS IN THEIR BED"
i have told alot of people this ,and they have adopted this as their own persoanl beleive as well

ray, what ever you decide to do here, we are all behind you, but we do hope that you decide to stay and enjoy your say!

your friend
m.in.heels&hose :three:

[SweetAmy]

There are alot of nice people on this site but a few name I wont mention get under my skin. I'm not your babe, honey or cutie or whatever you want to call me. That to me comes off as trying or is hitting on me. :( I'm here strictly to make new friends not search out sex or a good time or cyber.

I have been trying to get to know alot more people but people also seem unenergetic to type a bit about them in their profile. The people that dont have filled in profiles I'll tell ya your missing out on getting to know alot of cool, friendly, understanding people here.

:bipride:

[gina42]

hi ray..
from your post...
(As a user, I thought that I could make some input with my thoughts about some features of the site, as I've done in other sites. Curiously, I have better feedback in other sites than here, although the people seemed to be here friendlier (at least in the chatroom). Some of the answers I've read which have made me upset seem to be ridiculizing or patronizing)

i can not speak for everyone here but anyone who post there thoughts,i feel that the feed back can be anything, please dont shy away from your posting and please,please dont be quite...you are fine my friend,so smile please :)
i have been comming here since may of this year and i too have found this site to be very friendly and i have made some really great friends here...
but i am normally a quite lady until i get to know a person,than look out,lol.

also what wellred,codybear,mihh,rupetbare ans csrakate said was good advice...take care hugzzz gina :)

[arana]

Ray, you know my thoughts on this subject but I wanted to reiterate what the others have said by asking you to please continue posting your thoughts and questions. The opinions of those who post are but a handful compared to the hundreds that come thru this site everyday and read the forum. Those that may not be brave enough to post just might need the wisdom you have to share. I know how you must feel about the defensive tones to your query. On my very first post I was apologizing to people and even that brought me hate mail, which totally upset me. You just have to accept people are going to have different opinions than you. Sometimes you might see some of the things they say and alter your own opinion, sometimes you may think they're full of it, but always remember you have the right to say your piece as much as they do....and you should never let them take that away from you. Please keep your voice my dear friend.

Hugs,
Arana :tong:

[JohnnyV]

Ray,

What is the significance of your name, "light rays and thunder"?

Johnny