The Difference Between Bi and Couple

[euSSue]

I'm tired of the problem differentiating between a bisexual person who is straight but seeking same-gender relationship and bisexuals who seek sex with a MF couple. There is such a difference. I am a biF because I am born straight, liked and do like guys, but will no longer have sex with them. I'm bi by virtue of the fact that I'm straight seeking a same-sex relationship. But there are many who think that bi means that you want to have sex with a couple, or couples seek a bi person to have sex with them. I see this as a very different thing. I'm seeking, essentially a Lesbian relationship, but I'm not a Lesbian and Lesbians are turned off by my feminine self. Oddly, I too am not at all attracted to Lesbians. I wish there were a "title" which made the differentiation clearer.

Regards,
euSSue
50 biF 14617
:soapbox:

[TaylorMade]

Sue, I don't know...

I have a feeling this has been a problem ever since Grog and Ookla propositioned the woman at the cave next door and she tossed a mastodon bone at him as a response.

*Taylor*

[allbimyself]

I'm tired of the problem differentiating between a bisexual person who is straight but seeking same-gender relationship
Uhhh, there is no problem. There is no such thing as a "bisexual person who is straight"

Being bisexual does NOT mean you want only couples. I don't know where you picked up that bit of nonsense. A bisexual is sexually attracted to both genders, period. They may or may not want/enjoy 3somes. Most bi fems I know wouldn't want a 3some.

[deletetacount123]

Uhhh, there is no problem. There is no such thing as a "bisexual person who is straight"

Being bisexual does NOT mean you want only couples. I don't know where you picked up that bit of nonsense. A bisexual is sexually attracted to both genders, period. They may or may not want/enjoy 3somes. Most bi fems I know wouldn't want a 3some.

Excatly.... to me being bisexual just means your not limited to ONE gender.... you enjoy both genders although not all bisexuals want both at the same time.

[euSSue]

Uhhh, there is no problem. There is no such thing as a "bisexual person who is straight"

Being bisexual does NOT mean you want only couples. I don't know where you picked up that bit of nonsense. A bisexual is sexually attracted to both genders, period. They may or may not want/enjoy 3somes. Most bi fems I know wouldn't want a 3some.

I find your post equally confusing. Remember the engine you used to create your first personal in this site? It used the Kinsey Ratings to rate whether a person is straight or gay or bi or whatever.

I got the bisexuals seeking couples rather easily, and is also included in this site-- there are enough places to readily verify my thought.

I do not se a bisexual as equally attracted to both sexes. I am not gay. I was born straight. I sought boyfriends in my younger years, enjoyed their company, and married a man. But I don't feel that way anymore. I do not seek men and do not desire sex with them. Similarly I am not attracted to Lesbian women, nor are they attracted to me. Bisexual males may desire both male and female sex partners. I don't know if there is a difference. I wonder how many bisexual females seek only women?

[Herbwoman39]

Yeah, it's confusing, I know. There are just as many types of bisexuality as there are bisexuals.

I CAN, however, assure, you that if you enjoy sex with women, you are NOT straight. You're either bisexual or a lesbian. But since you said you enjoyed sex with men, that means you're bisexual.

Having lived in denial for years, I know what it looks like.

Sure, it's scary to admit to yourself that you're bisexual. It terrified the daylights out of me at first. Now, after 2 and a half years, I'm happy and comfortable with this part of myself.

Good luck hon.

[allbimyself]

I find your post equally confusing. Remember the engine you used to create your first personal in this site? It used the Kinsey Ratings to rate whether a person is straight or gay or bi or whatever.

I got the bisexuals seeking couples rather easily, and is also included in this site-- there are enough places to readily verify my thought. I'm sorry, but I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say here.



I do not se a bisexual as equally attracted to both sexes.
Read what I wrote again. I did not say "equally." I said a "bisexual IS attracted to both genders.



I am not gay. I was born straight. I sought boyfriends in my younger years, enjoyed their company, and married a man. But I don't feel that way anymore. I do not seek men and do not desire sex with them. Similarly I am not attracted to Lesbian women, nor are they attracted to me. Bisexual males may desire both male and female sex partners. I don't know if there is a difference. I wonder how many bisexual females seek only women?Sounds like you are a lesbian to me. Your sexual identity is based on who YOU are attracted to, not WHAT you are attracted to. Just because you aren't attracted to lesbians doesn't make you bisexual. You say you aren't attracted to men anymore, then fine, you are only attracted to women, QED a lesbian. (unless you are not attracted to either men or women in which case you are asexual)

BTW. you say you aren't attracted to lesbians? Are you somehow thinking that only butch lesbians are lesbians? I know quite a few very femme lesbians.

I don't mean to sound degrading, but perhaps you should learn the actual meaning of words before you make a post. That way you can be sure that you are actually saying what you think you are saying.

[Ally Kat]

I'm not sure that you haven't confused a butch woman with lesbians in general, there is a picture of myself and my partner on my profile, take a look at those and tell me if one or both of us is attractive, if either is then you are attracted to lesbians, cause we both are, and neither of us have a butch bone in our bodies.

[deletetacount123]

You know, I can see what the others are saying. I thought I was bisexual cause I had been married, dated some guys but at the same time I much more perfered to be with girls and loved every moment when I had my girl experiences with another girl (not much but enough to be pleased and happy)

BUT I was forever saying not nice comments about penis.... I hated them. I would often say mean things without thinking. I also refuse to eat giant susages just cause they "look" like penis lol

I liked girls more.... so after a deep converstation with a friend I met on this site... she finally said "Uh Tasha.... being bisexual means you like penis... you clearly don't like them so you're a lesbian."
Im like "Oh.... " and it did make things clear.

I thought I was also bisexual just cause I married a man and dated a few BUT she explained a lot of people don't realize they are gay/lesbian till later in life and often marry the oppsite gender cause they felt they had to due to pressure or family/friends expected them to.

There is no such thing as stright bisexual. You are either gay/lesbian, straight or bisexual.

Maybe you're thinking of the bisexuals who seem straight cause they are more attracted to the oppsite gender. ??

[deletetacount123]

I'm not sure that you haven't confused a butch woman with lesbians in general, there is a picture of myself and my partner on my profile, take a look at those and tell me if one or both of us is attractive, if either is then you are attracted to lesbians, cause we both are, and neither of us have a butch bone in our bodies.

You're HOT lol Your gf is cute and pretty :)
You both make a nice couple.... know anyone that may be interested in me? :)

[domill]

I'm not sure that you haven't confused a butch woman with lesbians in general, there is a picture of myself and my partner on my profile, take a look at those and tell me if one or both of us is attractive, if either is then you are attracted to lesbians, cause we both are, and neither of us have a butch bone in our bodies.

Ok, I must be a lesbian then ?! :tong:

Ally, you're absolutely gorgeous.

[Herbwoman39]

I'm not sure that you haven't confused a butch woman with lesbians in general, there is a picture of myself and my partner on my profile, take a look at those and tell me if one or both of us is attractive, if either is then you are attracted to lesbians, cause we both are, and neither of us have a butch bone in our bodies.

Oh my God Ally...you're just breathtaking. Your partner is one lucky lady ;)

[ohbimale]

You say you like men and women. Since you do not say whether or not you are sexually attracted to men, but do state you will not have sex with them then that makes you a lesbian by default, or possibly a bi-woman who is mostly lesbian and only incidently straight. There are a lot of feminine lesbians and bisexual women out there. If you are not finding them you are either looking to hard or not in the right places or a combination of all the above. Try going to meetings of the nearest Gay Lesbian Bisexual Discussion Groups or Nights Out On The Town Events at your nearest Gay Lesbian Bisexual transgendered Center. Unitarian Universalist churches are also usually supportive of Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals. Expand your horizons, seek friendship and stop looking so hard. A feminine companion and lover will show up when you least expect her. :bipride: :male: :male:

[lastlaf44]

...there is a picture of myself and my partner on my profile...

*looks*

*beat*

Buh :eek:

*falls over*

~Lastlaf~ :female:

[azirish]

I find your post equally confusing. Remember the engine you used to create your first personal in this site? It used the Kinsey Ratings to rate whether a person is straight or gay or bi or whatever.

I got the bisexuals seeking couples rather easily, and is also included in this site-- there are enough places to readily verify my thought.

I do not se a bisexual as equally attracted to both sexes. I am not gay. I was born straight. I sought boyfriends in my younger years, enjoyed their company, and married a man. But I don't feel that way anymore. I do not seek men and do not desire sex with them. Similarly I am not attracted to Lesbian women, nor are they attracted to me. Bisexual males may desire both male and female sex partners. I don't know if there is a difference. I wonder how many bisexual females seek only women?


My brother is Gay...by definition he is not sexually attracted to females. He recently told me he had a "knightmare" that he was getting married to a woman! He doesn't dislike or "hate" females, he just has no sexual or romantic intrest in them period. He also a father, so he had sex with females in the past, so thats not a 100% certain anyone is "straight". So saying you're not "lesibian" or lesbian leaning, is confusing to us.

[spartca]

I'm bi-sexual: Kinsey 3, totally open to relationships with men and women.

I'm also "couple-sexual:" totally open to relationships with couples! All kinds of couples too: M-M, M-F, F-F (this one is the rarest for me, the women always seem to fight lol), and other genders too.

I also like group sex in general, but I'm rather picky, don't like random strangers watching me, so I don't really do it at sex parties.

And I have manners. I think it's tacky to assume that the SO of someone you're dating will ever join you in bed.

[dafydd]

My brother is Gay...by definition he is not sexually attracted to females. He recently told me he had a "knightmare" that he was getting married to a woman! He doesn't dislike or "hate" females, he just has no sexual or romantic intrest in them period. He also a father, so he had sex with females in the past, so thats not a 100% certain anyone is "straight". So saying you're not "lesibian" or lesbian leaning, is confusing to us.

Ok maybe I'll stick my neck out and say that gay/striaght/bi are really just too constrictive labels.
I know gay guys who have had sex with women, get off on it for a variety of reasons, (none of which involve eroticising the female form, but rather more complex e.g. reclaimining masculinitiy, slipping into familiar gender roles etc.)
It is possible to have sex with someone you don't find sexually attractive. So you can be a gay man who sleeps with women (you'd be pretty mixed up, but its happened).
Also I believe that straight men who have sex with men are justified in not calling themselves gay. These are guys who identify being gay as only a lifestyle and an identity and therefore identify as straight but like to fuck a guy everynow again.
Of course the new thing, the fad (I hear) is for straight guys to have sex with their mates after a Friday/Sat out on the town. Now that's a fad I wouldn't want to see go.. hot!

D

[someotherguy]

I'm tired of the problem differentiating between a bisexual person who is straight but seeking same-gender relationship and bisexuals who seek sex with a MF couple. There is such a difference. I am a biF because I am born straight, liked and do like guys, but will no longer have sex with them. I'm bi by virtue of the fact that I'm straight seeking a same-sex relationship. But there are many who think that bi means that you want to have sex with a couple, or couples seek a bi person to have sex with them. I see this as a very different thing. I'm seeking, essentially a Lesbian relationship, but I'm not a Lesbian and Lesbians are turned off by my feminine self. Oddly, I too am not at all attracted to Lesbians. I wish there were a "title" which made the differentiation clearer.

Regards,
euSSue
50 biF 14617
:soapbox:

I would be tired of that, too, if I understood it. A bisexual person who is straight? So much for the definition of bisexual or straight. Therein lies your confusion :/

There is a title available but I doubt you'll like it: Sexually Confused.

[Andy21]

sue, you seem very confused by this. You cannot be bisexual unless you have sexual feelings for both men and women. It doesnt have to be split down the middle. Id say im about 60/40 in favour of women. That is to say I find more women attractive then men. Have you had dificulties with male relationships in the past?

[FerociousFeline]

These are guys who identify being gay as only a lifestyle and an identity and therefore identify as straight but like to fuck a guy everynow again.

D

The confusion here lies in the labels. I believe the confusion lies in identifying the lifestyle movement, and not the behavior. It sounds as though she doesn't identify with the lifestyle (parades, flag waving etc) but still enjoys the situation of being with women. This is what I personally have been saying in regard to the difference between the flag waving and the behavior. Beyond that, there is an absolute confusion as to the idea that you can be a straight bi as opposed to a ...........bi bi? It sounds to me like she is attempting to express that she likes women, but doesn't care for the lifestyle (flag waving) of the lesbian group. In my humble opinion, all humans are born bisexual and socialized into either het or hom categories. But you know what? Saying that you are just plain "sexual" gets more to the point of being physically responsive to those who excite you, without limiting yourself as to who that winds up being. It has nothing to do with the flag waving or lifestyles of any sexual group, and everything to do with being physically responsive. Nice point dafydd :2cents:

[deletetacount123]

Yep, to my understanding Bisexual means you like BOTH women and men.

Lesbian/Gay means you just like the same gender as yourself.

Straight means you like the oppsite gender.

[coyotedude]

The word "bisexual" means different things to different people.


To some people, it means that you had one fleeting thought about sex with the same gender even though you've only been interested in relationships with the opposite gender.
For others, you're not bisexual unless you've had physical sexual contact with both genders.
For still others, you're only truly bisexual if you're in a polyamory relationship.
And for some, bisexual means you're gay but struggling to keep the closet door shut.


And that's just a short list.

Then there are those who consider themselves straight even after having sex with the same gender because they could never imagine falling in love with the same gender.

Who's right? As far as I am concerned, they all are -- and none of them are. I've met people who fit into each of those niches. But even these examples don't fully demonstrate all the many facets of bisexuality.

I consider myself bisexual not only because I've had sex with both men and women, but because I've fallen in love with both men and women. To me, it's not just about lust, but also about romance and intimacy and all that other mushy crap. It's all about who I could share my life with. Sure, sex is part of that, but only a part.

Contrary to popular belief, there's more to life than just sex.

For example, there's ice cream....

Peace

[someotherguy]

"The word "bisexual" means different things to different people."

So do many words to people who don't know what they mean.

[coyotedude]

"The word "bisexual" means different things to different people."

So do many words to people who don't know what they mean.

True enough.... sigh

But some labels are much broader than others. Bisexuals themselves can't agree on what it means to be bisexual, so how in the hell can we expect straights or gays or whoever else to figure it out?

Ice cream, on the other hand, should be well understood by everyone....

Peace