Hey can anyone help?

[Nikilala]

hi
i have discovered i am bisexual and quite ok with that fact, i am female and quite hapily in a long term relationship with a guy who is also fine with the fact, infact he loves it!

I do not mind people knowing particularly, but i dont like being branded as a bisexual person, i just want to be me who is bisexual does that make any sense?

Well, my bf seems obsessed at telling people, especially his friends that i have never met that i am Bi i have tried to tell him to stop but he doesnt seem to take the hint and has told loads more people than i have.

How can i get the point across?
and also how can i prevent any stereotyping that i have seen other people be succuumbed to in the past?

Thanks in advance
nikilala
:flag3::flag1::flag3:

[frenchvikki]

hi
i have discovered i am bisexual and quite ok with that fact, i am female and quite hapily in a long term relationship with a guy who is also fine with the fact, infact he loves it!

I do not mind people knowing particularly, but i dont like being branded as a bisexual person, i just want to be me who is bisexual does that make any sense?

Well, my bf seems obsessed at telling people, especially his friends that i have never met that i am Bi i have tried to tell him to stop but he doesnt seem to take the hint and has told loads more people than i have.

How can i get the point across?
and also how can i prevent any stereotyping that i have seen other people be succuumbed to in the past?

Thanks in advance
nikilala
:flag3::flag1::flag3:
If he was my bf and didnt respect my feelings then I would simply kick him into touch. Who you tell and wish to know is your affair and it is not for him to go around blabbing it to all and sundry without your permission. It shows a lack of respect for you and will assist in creating the stereotypical impression you wish to avoid in the minds of those people.

If you dont mind people knowing however, they will consider you as a bisexual person and there is nothing you can do to change that. Its what you are after all. You will be stereotyped in some way that is another thing you cant avoid. Its an easy way for people to pigeon hole you. How you live your life is the only way you might overcome that and how people understand you and your personal lifestyle. Thats if they are prepared to give you a fair crack of the whip. But as soon as they know you to be bisexual they will form an impression in their minds which will be difficult to shake off.

[bibees]

I have to agree with most of what frenchvikki said: If you have asked your bf to be sensitive and respect your wishes and he does not ... it doesn't sound good in the long run. It's great that he's excited about it (I suppose) and not judgmental, but a relationship without respect and understanding is going to be tough.

It is funny, though, that he wants to tell his friends and people you don't know that you're bi when it's just one aspect of who you are. I imagine he's not also saying, "She's a fantastic cook, loves puppies and is Catholic". He sounds like he's just bragging (and how ridiculous! Unless you are fulfilling his dreams by bringing women into the bedroom, he's using your sexuality as a boasting mechanism).

If you really this this is worth saving, you should lay it out there that it's not so much that who you are is a secret ... but that it's not a side-show either. Everyone in a long-term relationship knows when to keep their mouth shut and respect their partner's wishes. If he doesn't get it, DTMFA. (Lovely little acronym from Dan Savage.)

Good luck.

[Bluebiyou]

Ye can't get th' point across, lassie! He's a lad. Lads are not prone to understandin'. Some are, but not a majority. It's the testosterone.
Ye hav ta MAKE ye point! (not jus' get it across)
When he introduces ye as bi, graciously introduce him as your 'dick'. This shouldn't require but a time or two. When he rages or objects, brush him off like he does you when he introduces you as 'bi' to your disdain. Be open to 'steppin aside for a word with him'... and then let im ave it! "If you introduce me as 'bi' then I will introduce you as my 'dick'. After ye start treatin' me wi respect, I'll start treatin' you!

An lassie, this is a lad speakin'.... yev got balls alright... they's jus inside called 'overies'.