Bi-sexuality... is it just a phase?

[oliveyue]

I'm not sure this is a place I should be, however, it seems the members of bisexual.com are open-minded and willing to help someone understand. I just want to know more. What does it mean to be bi-sexual. I am currently researching this idea. The majority of gay/lesbian literature that I have come across has suggested that bisexuality is just a phase... that it doesn't exist. That ultimately it is just a stepping stone on the way to gay or straight. I'm not sure I believe this. What does this mean to you? If bisexuality isn't just a phase how does one decide with whom to settle down? Are you always left wondering? I just want to know more.



(Ultimately this information will be used to help write a senior thesis paper on bi-sexuality not being just a phase. However, I do want to know more about this for my own personal knowledge. If you would like to share any information or thoughts it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much)

[Skater Boy]

Depends on the person. Some people are born Bi, and remain Bi their whole lives. For others, its just a phase en route to either extreme. But I think there are enough Bisexual people here of all ages to prove that, for some at least, its more than just a phase. Sexuality is a VERY complicated thing, though. And I doubt that even the most educated scholar in this field could give you an empirically proven answer.

ps: might I suggest that you keep an OPEN MIND about the subject of your thesis paper... and use the FACTS to determine whether bisexuality is just a phase or something more permanent. It might get you a better grade than loading it with unsubstantiated opinions.

[ChsnyNLelandsBsh]

I dont think Bi is a phase....I believe it is an actual sexuality and you go through your peaks and your dips and your craziness hormones all the time....

I know on my case my sexuality is very unpredictable...I can wake up in the morning and want to be with a man and about an hour later want a woman.....or Ill wake up and want to be a man or dress up like one....and want a woman badly then want to be with a man...its really frustrating and confusing...but I am starting to just go with the flow....

[Skater Boy]

I dont think Bi is a phase....I believe it is an actual sexuality and you go through your peaks and your dips and your craziness hormones all the time....

I can relate to how you feel. But in the case of Frances (Darkeyes) for example, Bisexuality WAS just a phase on her progression to being completely gay. So it depends on the individual, IMO. Unless you wanna say that Darkeyes was just in a state of confusion rather than truly being temporarily bisexual.

I think for some people its a phase, for others its a permanent thing. Admittedly, the reasons behind this do fascinate me, but I doubt I'll ever come to any solid conclusions about it.

[darkeyes]

Lets gerrit rite..for sum bisexuality is a phase..for sum it aint..for sum sexuality can b pretty fluid..every human bein is different.. hav taken a lotta years 2 get 2 wer me is now..don xpect 2 change..but who knows wot life has in store for ne of us, me included.....only way ne 1 can tell for sure how ya sexuality has panned out is if yas dead..then of course ya know sod all for sure...

[bibees]

It’s an interesting topic for a thesis – I wish you luck and hope that you keep an open mind in the process.

Through years of trying to understand what my sexuality was (Am I gay? But I like boys too …), I came up with the following conclusion: I believe that human sexuality is plotted on a spectrum; I think of a gradient from black to white. I think over on one side people are straight, the other end they are gay, and that there are about a million places to land in between. There are some people right in mid-grey who would thrive and be satisfied in either a opposite-sex or same-sex relationship, and there are those who may be 75% attracted to the opposite sex and 25% attracted to the same sex. (I also think – but you probably don’t want to included this in your paper – that many homophobic people are just a tad off the far-straight side, like 97% straight, and the 3% grey completely freaks them out and they overcompensate. Just my opinion …)

As far as it being a phase … from my own experience and discussion among bi-friendly (or bi, or gay) friends, once you’ve grown up a bit and figured out who you are, it doesn’t change.

Saying that, I also believe that you can be bisexual and be committed to one person. If a person leading a "bisexual lifestyle" decides to commit to or marry another person, this does not necessarily mean that their bisexuality was a "phase", only that they have chosen to be partners with another person (and possibly have a straight-acting relationship).

You asked “How does one decide with whom to settle down?” I feel very fortunate that I can discuss my sexuality openly with my husband – we are both bi. I think that each person has a choice to make and you will know when you find the right person. We both decided that we loved each other enough to commit to a monogamous relationship and marriage and knew that there was a chance that neither of us would be with anyone else ever again … just like lots of straight couples do (or say they do). Also, fortunately for us, after years of being together we have decided that we are okay with occasional same-sex playmates to satisfy a completely physical desire that we can’t fulfill for the other. In any case, we are happy and have a successful partnership (and an awesome sex life) because we are open and respectful.

Good luck!

[Bluebiyou]

There are 100 different ways to say 'bi'.
I doubt there are two of us alike.
If you've resigned and are comfortable with gay forever, then you're pretty much gay.
If you've resigned and are comfortable with hetero forever, then you're pretty much hetero.
This does not exclude those who experimented otherwise.
If you're mostly hetero but still have this gut level desire either emotionally or sexually for same sex..
Likewise, if you're mostly gay but still have this gut level desire either emotionally or sexually for opposite sex..

That means you're one of us! My condolences for your loss of a comfortable non-challenging 2 dimensional world of penis or vagina. Welcome to a land of many dimensions. Where each dimension has infinite shades of gray and color! If you can understand the ambiguity of life itself you can understand the ambiguity in bisexuality... Where the only absolute is God (love - if you're an atheist).

...I get this funny feeling of deja vu...

[mobicpl69]

We have both been a bisexual couple for 16 years. She realized it when we were married. He has been bisexual for 30 years. We would be safe to say it is not a phase to us. Now who you should settle down with, may we suggest that you look to become a bisexual couple (male and female) like us. And let the fun begin!

[Lorcan]

I've known i was bi since before 9 years old. I'm 41 now. i'm still bi. It seems to be a stable identity to me. As for who i settle down with, it not confusing to me at all: i settle down with a person that i love. Their gender matters as much as their hair color to me.

Maybe you should take a survey in which the participants fill out a time line of their lives indicating from what years to what years they identified with various orientations.

[ambi53mm]

..but who knows wot life has in store for ne of us, me included.....only way ne 1 can tell for sure how ya sexuality has panned out is if yas dead..then of course ya know sod all for sure...

I agree.What you feel today doesn't allow for the changes you might go through tomorrow. "LIFE" is fluid and I'm grateful for that..otherwise nothing would ever change and we'd be stuck in the reality of today forever. If being bisexual is a phase I don't think it's particularly a phase with any destination. If I die today with a male to the left of me and a female to my right..would that then make me a diesexual?

Ambi:)

[bored012]

i think that the best way for you to ascertain the information you want is for me to tell you what being bisexual means to me as an individual.
i always had an attraction to men and women probably since i was around 14 or 15. i didnt really act on the attraction towards men until i was say around 18 or 19. it was confusing to say the least because i would ask myself if i was really gay and was i just attracted to women because it was the "right" thing whatever that means. over the next 6 years and a long list of people that i have been intimate with (not just sexually) i have come to realize im not gay and im not straight. i am physically, mentally, emotionally and romantically attracted to both men and women equally. i dont "lean" to one side. i dont base my attraction to these men and women based on my body's reaction to them when the blood starts flowing to certain areas. i look at a person for who they are inside and out not just their physical attributes.
i also think that yes for some it can be a phase and there is nothing wrong with that. everyone has to figure out for themselves who they are and i dont judge those people based on the methods they take as long as no one gets hurt. it took me 25 years to figure it out for me and i couldnt be happier knowing that this piece of the puzzle was found.
for me, being bisexual means that i have an enormous heart and respect for both men and women and would love to potentially spend my life with a wonderful PERSON without caring if it is with a man or woman as long as i am happy.
i hope this helps in your thesis

[softfruit]

As someone who's run bi groups and events for over a decade I've met a lot of people - some hundreds at least - who identified as bi. Some of them may now identify as gay or as straight, many of them still as bi, some have had bi as a "stopping off" point on the way from straight to gay or gay to straight.

Three things I've observed.

First thing is, many of those people who said it was a "stopping off" point later break up with the person they were with or the social group they were hanging out with, and you catch them coming back now they're not under pressure to "be one thing or the other"! Society wants to label us as gay or straight by our relationship of the time and it takes a lot of fighting.

Second, that this "realising you're not X" thing isn't about going from straight to bi to gay, it goes on in every which direction you could create. Bi as a stopping off point from straight to gay is a myth; bi is just one of the places many people visit as they work their way through their lives.

And third, while for some people things do take that journey of identities, for as many again they don't: they're born, raised, live and die bi.

[Germanicus]

As Mao Zedong once said "it is too early to say"

For some its a phase, with various motivations ranging from plain curiousity to a means of dealing with their hurt from previous relationships, to a just staging post to full-on queerness. It varies from person to person and whilst generalisations are useful, they can distort the finer detail.

As for me, I don't know and I don't care. I don't know who I will be in 5 or 10 years time, let alone where I will be or what I will be doing. Prejudging the future is a tyranny of the most pernicious kind. Right now, I'm bisexual, happier than I've ever been, and that's all that matters.

[Caaveman]

Through years of trying to understand what my sexuality was (Am I gay? But I like boys too …), I came up with the following conclusion: I believe that human sexuality is plotted on a spectrum; I think of a gradient from black to white. I think over on one side people are straight, the other end they are gay, and that there are about a million places to land in between. There are some people right in mid-grey who would thrive and be satisfied in either a opposite-sex or same-sex relationship, and there are those who may be 75% attracted to the opposite sex and 25% attracted to the same sex. (I also think – but you probably don’t want to included this in your paper – that many homophobic people are just a tad off the far-straight side, like 97% straight, and the 3% grey completely freaks them out and they overcompensate. Just my opinion …)

As far as it being a phase … from my own experience and discussion among bi-friendly (or bi, or gay) friends, once you’ve grown up a bit and figured out who you are, it doesn’t change.

Saying that, I also believe that you can be bisexual and be committed to one person. If a person leading a "bisexual lifestyle" decides to commit to or marry another person, this does not necessarily mean that their bisexuality was a "phase", only that they have chosen to be partners with another person (and possibly have a straight-acting relationship).

You asked “How does one decide with whom to settle down?” I feel very fortunate that I can discuss my sexuality openly with my husband – we are both bi. I think that each person has a choice to make and you will know when you find the right person. We both decided that we loved each other enough to commit to a monogamous relationship and marriage and knew that there was a chance that neither of us would be with anyone else ever again … just like lots of straight couples do (or say they do). Also, fortunately for us, after years of being together we have decided that we are okay with occasional same-sex playmates to satisfy a completely physical desire that we can’t fulfill for the other. In any case, we are happy and have a successful partnership (and an awesome sex life) because we are open and respectful.

Good luck!

Wow, I couldn't have said it better if I tried!!!
I have been bi since I was 8 years old. I always wanted girls but I realized that boys were fun too. I have been married to a wonderful woman for 22+ years. And I kept my feelings for other men a secret, but I still had them.
I don't think that these feelings that I have for men will ever go away and I also don't think that the feelings that I have for my wife will ever go away either. So I guess this makes me a bisexual for life. I do love my wife dearly but she can't satisfy the apatite that I have for a man,on the other hand a man can not satisfy the apatite that I have for a woman. Not to say that I couldn't do without either, but I would rather have both.
Now if this is just a phase then It's been a very long one. I don't think that it is a phase my self. I mean most boys at the start (5 to 8 or 9)usually hate girls. But this is because of the raising and wanting the most attention and friendships, then as sexuality becomes a part of the picture they tend to rethink everything, again, because of their raising's. And start to look at girls because that's the way they see the majority of other boys do it. So it's kind of like a training course. then if you happen to notice, and are attracted to a boy, then you have to keep that to your self for the most part, as you will be labeled as gay (different, an outsider) and nobody wants or can seem to handle that Chrissie's at that age. If at first notice a boy/man is seen wanting a woman then he is ok or normal, but if he is seen wanting another boy/man then he is seen as gay. But you are not what the other people see, but are rather what you decide to be. You set your own limitations and lifestyles. Now this won't change the way that other people see you. If they have already labeled you as gay and then later they see you with a woman for a while then they assume that the gayness was just a phase and also the other way around. But as you get older and more comfortable with who you are yourself then you get to where those other people's opinions just don't mean as much to you any more. And after enough cut downs and ridicule you finally began to realize that there opinion doesn't really matter at all.

[diamond_tether]

The female half of the couple's mother was basically bisexual, so her model of acceptable sexuality was never really 'narrow'. The male half of the couple had a little support from friends, but was constricted by the usual ideas in regard to his family. His mother went to her grave thinking he was in a 'phase'. He questioned his sexuality for years - until he realized that his desire for both sexes seemed to remain regardless of which sex he was currently involved with.

For us, the whole bisexuality thing was a big deal for a moment because before we got married, we functioned more as homosexuals. Our bisexuality was really just a by-product of us being very sexual people. However, in being able to recognize and accept our feelings - we realized that we were more interested in finding love than worrying about what was (or was not) dangling between a lover's legs. We exist in a heterosexual marriage now, but still find ourselves attracted to and satisfied by both sexes. We doubt that'll ever change.

[void()]

I think for some people its a phase, for others its a permanent thing. Admittedly, the reasons behind this do fascinate me, but I doubt I'll ever come to any solid conclusions about it.

Skater Boy summarizes my views well.

Some do go through a 'phase' of bisexuality. Some, like myself, have been bisexual and / or biamorous if not all their lives, then much of them.

As to who to 'settle down' with? Find someone who loves you and understands you for who and what you are, and doesn't attempt changing you to fit their mold. These rare folks are out in the world. I married a lovely wife. She has a great husband, who at times wants / needs to be with a guy.

Our relationship is open, but that doesn't mean we think we're any better or worse than any other couple or person. An open relationship isn't for everyone though. It requires lots of effort, trust and love. The main key is communication. Some can do it, others can not.

Good luck with your thesis. I agree about not adding too much opinion into it. The issue of bisexuality being a phase is indeed not a clear black and white one. As it's been said, for some it is, for others it's not. Each individual alone makes that decision for themselves. Painting an image with broad brush strokes might give you pretty water color pictures, but water colors can run.

Just my humble :2cents:.

[FalconAngel]

According to a very prejudiced, anti-bisexuality few, it is a phase. But that's a load of crap, and deep down, whether they want to admit it or not, they know it's crap.

To those of us who are Bisexual, it is NOT a phase. It may be fluid, as in many cases where our sexuality fluctuates from one side to the other (and everywhere in-between) from time to time. It could be that we have a preference for one gender over another, as some have, or even no preference for either gender over the other, but it is never a phase for any true bisexual.

Our sexuality is as valid as any straight or gay person's sexuality.

Being Bisexual means that you have an attraction to either gender rather than one specific gender exclusively.

We can desire and enjoy sexual activity as well as partial or total intimacy with both men and women; Equally, as often as not.

We are men and women.

We are no more or less promiscuous than anyone of other sexual orientations.

We can be of any religion, race or nationality.

We are no different from anyone else in the world, except for our sexual orientation.

There is a whole lot of other information on it from many of us in this site, and while we cannot speak for them, we can speak for our situation. Feel free to e-mail us for any questions that you may have.

btw, we are a mixed orientation couple. He's Bi and she's Straight.

[the mage]

I'm not sure this is a place I should be, however, it seems the members of bisexual.com are open-minded and willing to help someone understand. I just want to know more. What does it mean to be bi-sexual. I am currently researching this idea. The majority of gay/lesbian literature that I have come across has suggested that bisexuality is just a phase... that it doesn't exist. That ultimately it is just a stepping stone on the way to gay or straight. I'm not sure I believe this. What does this mean to you? If bisexuality isn't just a phase how does one decide with whom to settle down? Are you always left wondering? I just want to know more.



(Ultimately this information will be used to help write a senior thesis paper on bi-sexuality not being just a phase. However, I do want to know more about this for my own personal knowledge. If you would like to share any information or thoughts it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much)

..........IMHO.....................I'm quite disillusioned with the 40's male hunting for his first "Bi experience." so nebulously defined as "suck my cock." (gee its actually hard to find women who'll give you head when you're 40's and single...)
They, and horny young teens in video's are the ones generating this distortion of image.
Bisexual are quite real thank you.
Who to live with for me is easy. Women.
Bi men are in tune with their sexuality in a way that matches with women better than men. You just have to look around, to see far more openly bi couples with M/f compared to M/M couples.
How many of you have seen postings (anywhere) for M/m couples looking for women?
I've seen a few .. very few compared to other pairings.

[DiamondDog]

..........IMHO.....................I'm quite disillusioned with the 40's male hunting for his first "Bi experience." so nebulously defined as "suck my cock." (gee its actually hard to find women who'll give you head when you're 40's and single...)
They, and horny young teens in video's are the ones generating this distortion of image.
Bisexual are quite real thank you.
Who to live with for me is easy. Women.
Bi men are in tune with their sexuality in a way that matches with women better than men. You just have to look around, to see far more openly bi couples with M/f compared to M/M couples.
How many of you have seen postings (anywhere) for M/m couples looking for women?
I've seen a few .. very few compared to other pairings.

Speak for yourself.

You're highly biased with your faux feminism, broad generalizations, and posts that don't actually prove anything.

You don't fall in love, date, or even have actual relationships with men at all, and you're the one that always goes on about how there are tons of bisexual men in M/F relationships who are closeted and how most bi men who are in relationships with women are closeted and cheating of course.

You shouldn't go by something as silly as personal ads on the internet/in print to come to any real conclusions about if a bisexual man's sexuality somehow mysteriously matches a woman's sexuality better than that of a gay/bi man.

For myself and many other bisexual men who I've met, had relationships with, and known over the years our sexuality does NOT match up better with women and we're more sexually and romantically compatible with men better than with women.

I'm not going to explain it to you since I've done this tons of times, and it's something you wouldn't understand since you're so into heteronormativity.

[the mage]

Speak for yourself.

You're highly biased with your faux feminism, broad generalizations, and posts that don't actually prove anything.

You don't fall in love, date, or even have actual relationships with men at all, and you're the one that always goes on about how there are tons of bisexual men in M/F relationships who are closeted and how most bi men who are in relationships with women are closeted and cheating of course.

You shouldn't go by something as silly as personal ads on the internet/in print to come to any real conclusions about if a bisexual man's sexuality somehow mysteriously matches a woman's sexuality better than that of a gay/bi man.

For myself and many other bisexual men who I've met, had relationships with, and known over the years our sexuality does NOT match up better with women and we're more sexually and romantically compatible with men better than with women.

I'm not going to explain it to you since I've done this tons of times, and it's something you wouldn't understand since you're so into heteronormativity.

....................you continue to be unable to read, like the sad little boy you are... I was indeed speaking for myself and stated such.

You're continued FLAMING of me will not get me to respond in kind.

[DiamondDog]

....................you continue to be unable to read, like the sad little boy you are... I was indeed speaking for myself and stated such.

You're continued FLAMING of me will not get me to respond in kind.

I'm not flaming you Brian. You can think that all you want in your paranoid head.

yeah OK, your post is all about you then. Generalise about big groups of people much? :rolleyes:


Bi men are in tune with their sexuality in a way that matches with women better than men. You just have to look around, to see far more openly bi couples with M/f compared to M/M couples.
How many of you have seen postings (anywhere) for M/m couples looking for women?
I've seen a few .. very few compared to other pairings.

Why bring my age into all of this?

So my young ass runs circles around your paranoia ridden old ass and it's outdated biphobic theories about HIV/bi men/and how het women get HIV, generalizations you foolishly make about large groups of people, and your posts that aren't worth the effort/fradulent data/electrons and effort that goes into writing them. Big deal.

[Skater Boy]

Oh, boy... here we go again! :eek:

Can't you two just kiss and make up, or something? :bigrin:

[DiamondDog]

Oh, boy... here we go again! :eek:

Can't you two just kiss and make up, or something? :bigrin:

I'm not into kissing children, or immature grown adults who should know better yet act like children that throw tantrums when they don't get their way or people tell them that they're wrong, and have the gall to actually threaten people with physical violence and abuse like Brian does.

Kissing Brian would be in vain anyway.

He doesn't fall in love with men and he has a paranoid and violent nasty streak to him.

[the mage]

I'm not flaming you Brian. You can think that all you want in your paranoid head.

yeah OK, your post is all about you then. Generalise about big groups of people much? :rolleyes:



Why bring my age into all of this?

So my young ass runs circles around your paranoia ridden old ass and it's outdated biphobic theories about HIV/bi men/and how het women get HIV, generalizations you foolishly make about large groups of people, and your posts that aren't worth the effort/fradulent data/electrons and effort that goes into writing them. Big deal.

.......................you never enter my mind when making postings you self centered fool. ...Your age?? I have no idea..why you bring it up? I have no idea... Hey, heres a thought, do what you actually stated you do,,,
dont read my postings....and if you do,, PLEASE LEARN TO READ and do NOT take snippets OUT OF CONTEXT.....gawd you are a tool.

[DiamondDog]

.......................you never enter my mind when making postings you self centered fool. ...Your age?? I have no idea..why you bring it up? I have no idea... Hey, heres a thought, do what you actually stated you do,,,
dont read my postings....and if you do,, PLEASE LEARN TO READ and do NOT take snippets OUT OF CONTEXT.....gawd you are a tool.

You bring up my age and youth in every post as though it's an insult or something when you're the immature one.

How am I not reading your posts or taking them out of context Brian?

Learn how to write in paragraphs like children in school are taught how to, and don't make such broad generalizations about large groups of people like you always do.

All I see is you making broad generializations and being a know it all fraud who actually doesn't know shit about large groups of people, and openly admits and posts about this like you did on your post in this topic when you said:



Bi men are in tune with their sexuality in a way that matches with women better than men. You just have to look around, to see far more openly bi couples with M/f compared to M/M couples.
How many of you have seen postings (anywhere) for M/m couples looking for women?
I've seen a few .. very few compared to other pairings.

Again this is just one example of many.

[Cerealk]

I dont want to interfer, but this isnt the place for this. A lot people seem disappointed about the current state of things here, dont add up to it.

Rule 2. Be polite - flame the idea if you feel you must, but not the person.

[DiamondDog]

I dont want to interfer, but this isnt the place for this. A lot people seem disappointed about the current state of things here, dont add up to it.

Rule 2. Be polite - flame the idea if you feel you must, but not the person.

I believe in calling a spade a spade, and the mage is nothing more but a troll who flames people and who should be permabanned like he was when he flipped out and threatened me with violence and abusive language simply because I disagreed with his 20 year old outdated opinions about bi men being a catalyst for het women getting HIV and how his viewpoint is biphobic since he said that het women get HIV because of bi men who are of course cheating on them.

It's not my fault that Drew's site sucks when it comes to banning people (it probably only bans their I.P. address which can be easily changed), he's not around as an admin to enforce the rules/bannings/warnings, and yet doesn't want to assign moderators to do the work on here for him.

[the mage]

As the man said.. challenge the statement not the poster.. Rather than continue the personal attacks why not look at the reality of life?

You will often see M/F couples and single men too (we won't get into that thread here ok?) looking for a third. You just do not m/m couples looking for women to play with as often.... not nearly as often...they look for men.
Now, if any 2 men were Bi and wanted women, as a couple it would be an easier thing when looking for hedonists. I'm saying that 2 men living as a couple live as gay. Not BI.

[void()]

"I'm saying that 2 men living as a couple live as gay. Not BI." - mage

You're entitled to your view as such as it is your view. That, aside and due respect given of it, I'm left to play advocate. Perhaps, they aren't living as homosexuals. Would you truly know unless they point blank came to you and said they were or weren't?

I don't think anyone could know of others private matters unless the others presented it to them. That's just my humble view of it, and it may possibly be naive but if it is I've no qualms letting it be. By the by, I've finished reading _The Wind In The Willows_. I'm quite taken by Badger's wisdom.

Paraphrased he says the Wild Wood takes all sorts, we ought to live and let live for that's just how it happens to be. If the small copse of the Wild Wood takes all sorts, I'd imagine so too the Wide World. That bit of childish learning in hand it's easy to see that tossing labels on vast groups is rather a bit rude.

Out of hand you may dismiss a diamond found in useless junk ores. You can never be sure, so best to measure twice as you may only cut once.

Well, it serves better to attend other matters now. Be at peace and do try being excellent to one another. Ben scurries along gathering bits of information on children's lit for some yet unknown reason.

[gfofbiguy]

Well, it serves better to attend other matters now. Be at peace and do try being excellent to one another. Ben scurries along gathering bits of information on children's lit for some yet unknown reason.

One of my favorites from the children's lit arena has always been "The Last of the Very Great Whangdoodles" by Julie Andrews

[Skater Boy]

One of my favorites from the children's lit arena has always been "The Last of the Very Great Whangdoodles" by Julie Andrews

I fear that you all are a little to intellectual for me. I'm still stuck on classics like "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and "Where The Wild Things Are"...:tong:

[DiamondDog]

"I'm saying that 2 men living as a couple live as gay. Not BI." - mage

You're entitled to your view as such as it is your view. That, aside and due respect given of it, I'm left to play advocate. Perhaps, they aren't living as homosexuals. Would you truly know unless they point blank came to you and said they were or weren't?

I don't think anyone could know of others private matters unless the others presented it to them. That's just my humble view of it, and it may possibly be naive but if it is I've no qualms letting it be. By the by, I've finished reading _The Wind In The Willows_. I'm quite taken by Badger's wisdom.

Paraphrased he says the Wild Wood takes all sorts, we ought to live and let live for that's just how it happens to be. If the small copse of the Wild Wood takes all sorts, I'd imagine so too the Wide World. That bit of childish learning in hand it's easy to see that tossing labels on vast groups is rather a bit rude.

Out of hand you may dismiss a diamond found in useless junk ores. You can never be sure, so best to measure twice as you may only cut once.

Well, it serves better to attend other matters now. Be at peace and do try being excellent to one another. Ben scurries along gathering bits of information on children's lit for some yet unknown reason.

Word VD.

I have male friends who are in a partnership together and both men are bisexual and not homosexual.

Assuming that all/the majority of men who live together are gay/homosexual is just as bad as assuming that all men and women who live together are purely heterosexual.

[gfofbiguy]

I fear that you all are a little to intellectual for me. I'm still stuck on classics like "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and "Where The Wild Things Are"...:tong:

I've always loved those 2 also, Skater...what about Chicka Chicka Boom Boom? Especially as read by James Earl Jones....

What about James and the Giant Peach? Danny the Champion of the World? Or any other Roald Dahl book...:bigrin:

[DiamondDog]

I've always loved those 2 also, Skater...what about Chicka Chicka Boom Boom? Especially as read by James Earl Jones....

What about James and the Giant Peach? Danny the Champion of the World? Or any other Roald Dahl book...:bigrin:

I liked Fantastic Mr. Fox and Witches in early elementary school by Mr. Dahl.

[gfofbiguy]

I liked Fantastic Mr. Fox and Witches in early elementary school by Mr. Dahl.

I liked Fantastic Mr. Fox too...I never read Witches - will have to check that one out. I had a Roald Dahl book collection growing up that all came together in a set: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, Danny the Champion of the World and Fantastic Mr. Fox. I hope my parents still have them up in their attic and didn't sell them at a rummage sale...I need to see what other favorites I still have at their house! LOL I gave my copy of the Whangdoodles to a little boy (well, he was 9). He and his mom (a friend of mine) and little brother were staying with me for about a week while they were moving from one place to another, and he loved to read but didn't have any of his own books. After he finished reading it, he said he was going to have a big library "just like you" when he got big. I hope he does...

[Skater Boy]

I liked Fantastic Mr. Fox and Witches in early elementary school by Mr. Dahl.

For me it was "George's Marvellous Medicine"! It was a great story, and I really liked Quentin Blake's "scratchy" and primitive illustrations.

*sigh* those were the days...

[diB4u]

Word VD.

I have male friends who are in a partnership together and both men are bisexual and not homosexual.

Assuming that all/the majority of men who live together are gay/homosexual is just as bad as assuming that all men and women who live together are purely heterosexual.



True DiamondDog very true. It's what ever floats a persons boat.

Me im single, and probably stay that way for ever... But even I have my likes and passions. I'm at least partly human lol.....

I dont assume anything about anyone... Best way to be.

[Skater Boy]

I dont assume anything about anyone... Best way to be.

Yes... as the saying goes:

"Assumptions are the mother of all f*ck ups!"

...and I think that should be extended to generalizations too.

[jem_is_bi]

I hate to interrupt a good fight but I would like to comment on this thread.
Too bad your both are not on opposing hockey teams. Some minor trauma without major injury or legal issues might be useful. When I was a young man, getting punched in the face always calmed me down and made me think twice before getting in the wrong situation again.
Of course, I know I may be getting in the wrong situation now. But after trading blows, when both have loose teeth, respect if not love is often achieved.
On the other hand, verbal duals can be entertaining especially if sarcasm and wit are abundant.

Oh! Now for my comment on this thread.

When I was young I hoped it was a phase. But, It has lasted all my life. When I was 20,30 and 40 I wished this phase would end and I would be heterosexual, even though I liked men more than women. Then, in my 50's I wished this bisexual phase would end and I would be homosexual. But, I am 60 and still bisexual. It seems to be a very long phase of my life.

JEM

[DiamondDog]

I hate to interrupt a good fight but I would like to comment on this thread.
Too bad your both are not on opposing hockey teams. Some minor trauma without major injury or legal issues might be useful. When I was a young man, getting punched in the face always calmed me down and made me think twice before getting in the wrong situation again.
Of course, I know I may be getting in the wrong situation now. But after trading blows, when both have loose teeth, respect if not love is often achieved.
On the other hand, verbal duals can be entertaining especially if sarcasm and wit are abundant.

Oh! Now for my comment on this thread.

When I was young I hoped it was a phase. But, It has lasted all my life. When I was 20,30 and 40 I wished this phase would end and I would be heterosexual, even though I liked men more than women. Then, in my 50's I wished this bisexual phase would end and I would be homosexual. But, I am 60 and still bisexual. It seems to be a very long phase of my life.

JEM

OK so you support mentally ill people who resort to physical violence and psychological abuse to resolve their inner conflicts and who lash out at people who simply disagree with false information and statements they make? Or you also support mentally ill people who cause tons of drama and cry wolf about being raped when it's just an admitted "rape" scene set up by them and they write about it just to feed their own egomania. That's weird.

I know you're old and everything but physical and psychological abuse doesn't work.

Do you wish you'd started having sex with men when you were younger?

[jem_is_bi]

OK so you support mentally ill people who resort to physical violence and psychological abuse to resolve their inner conflicts and who lash out at people who simply disagree with false information and statements they make? Or you also support mentally ill people who cause tons of drama and cry wolf about being raped when it's just an admitted "rape" scene set up by them. That's weird.

I know you're old and everything but physical and psychological abuse doesn't work.

Do you wish you'd started having sex with men when you were younger?

Yes, in hindsight, I wish I had sex with men when I was young. I have always liked men more than women even when I wished it to be different. That was just a stupid wish.

Also, I can definitely become angry with others over their behavior. But, I prefer to fight my battles when they really expose themselves to attack rather than a constant assault.

Old? Considering how young you are, I understand why you consider me old. But, I am much smarter and wiser and definitely more educated than ever. Also, I am still physically more capable than very many young people.

I like your passion for life and your beliefs. But, I differ with you over your style of attack and defense.

JEM

[parkerbi]

Depends on the person. Some people are born Bi, and remain Bi their whole lives. For others, its just a phase en route to either extreme. But I think there are enough Bisexual people here of all ages to prove that, for some at least, its more than just a phase. Sexuality is a VERY complicated thing, though. And I doubt that even the most educated scholar in this field could give you an empirically proven answer.

ps: might I suggest that you keep an OPEN MIND about the subject of your thesis paper... and use the FACTS to determine whether bisexuality is just a phase or something more permanent. It might get you a better grade than loading it with unsubstantiated opinions.

I do think most bi people are born bi. Bicurious is just phrase. It's for those who are not really bi.:flag2: