Still hanging around...

[PolyLoveTriad]

We've been on this site for a while now and we have met some really wonderful people and some real jerks too. Its been an interesting thing being here. Reading ads, reading threads, posting threads. Even made a few people mad with threads with absolutely no effort and made some very good friends.

We came to the site to find someone who would be a good fit for us to have in our lives. Unfortunately that hasn't happened yet. I have high doubts that it ever will happen and honestly I'm about to give up on the whole idea. Now had we been swingers we would have bed hopped nearly every day of the year. Somehow we are penalized for wanting only one person and wanting that person to be with only us. We also get a lot more hits on other sites from interested people, they just don't meet the requirements of what we are looking for, either they are married, gay, or just want a quickie.

I know the name of the site is bisexual.com but so many people see the name of the site as biSEXual.com which is fine, this site is for all of us. I just wish there was an easier way to browse ads to find people who wanted what we want, or ones so people could find that quickie. There's also hundreds of guys who all they really want to do is cyber, also fine, just not for us.

I wish there was more for people like us or maybe its us who don't fit in here. I don't feel it unreasonable what we are looking for. Maybe someone can check out our profile and give us some hints and tips? I have no clue.

All in all we really enjoy it here. Its a good site. I guess thats why we are still hanging around here. Anyway, I just wanted to ramble off some thoughts there. May the new year bring happiness and enjoyment to all!

[proseros]

Hi AYM3

I've only been around say, a day or two and one of the first things I have noticed is an apparent lack of diversity with respect to all of the people out there who in fact are bisexual and who I am sure would appreciate what many such as your and myself have to offer. That may be due to a lack of exposure to the site-maybe enough people who are bisexual and bicurious just haven't gotten around here much yet.

When I say diversity clearly that includes cultural and racial diversity and with that comes a whole diaspora of social and ethical values that just do not seem to be expressively or explicity present, as if the site served as some magnet for reciprocal or mutual indulgence and experimentation in whatever one's current deviation happened to be at the time.

In other words quite plainly, it doesn't seem to me, as you've indicated, that many people are interested in building a social network within a specific community of people more than just "getting off" in an obscure way with equally "obscure" people with "obscure" motivations rather than getting to know one another as individuals and sharing-if even in a remote way-any unique and wonderful qualities 'in kind' with those of similar 'ilk'. I have a found a broader spectrum of bi guys and gals in generic forums who have a greater conviction and interest understanding themselves and others than seem to reflect here.

Perhaps that is an affect of this particular main forum where everything is lumped into one big anything goes post-for-all. What's missing I would say, might be casual sub-forums (entertainment,music,religon and spirituality,under 30/over 40, health, business, and etc) which might provide greater interaction and allow us to relate on a level that demonstrates just how deep our waters run. Othewrwise it is as if someone handed me a "bi-sexual" hat at the door, pointed to the bar and snack table and wished me good luck fishing in shallow waters, as if wearing a hat were supposed make me or anyone else an instant hit and everything anyone needs to know about anyone is handled by the 'bisexual' department of their personality.

This holiday both my sister and her son passed away. But who do I talk to about that here and for what? Precisely because I am bisexual doesn't mean that shit doesn't happen in my life-most which has nothing to do with sex.
It's the community of real people living real lives as bisexuals and interacting in the broader scheme of things that is missing.

"Okay so you're bisexual-but how are you doing?" That kinda thing. People don't seem to care about one another here as long as they are carrying on about about getting off.

As far as actually "meeting" anyone goes there is an aire of half desperation and qulifying limitation. I personally didn't come here to interview for a "hookup" with anyone more than just to get to know other people with the same perspective about living and loving. No maybe I'm not what 'x' is looking for nor they what I'm looking for but that doesn't we can't share our interests and values and get to know one another better. And I'm sick of this gay/bi 'neo-organizational' factionalism shit too. It's silly, and how you 'label' yourself should be nothing to do with your genuine interest in another person, your capacity to want to be intimate with them.

best to leave expectations at the door and just enjoy the company of good people while you can. Life is too damned short for vain promiscuities.

My God, we're all so afraid of one another...

[kitten]

Welcome proseros.
I am glad that you are still here AndYoumake3.

So sorry to hear of your loss proseros. I experienced the loss of mulitple family members in a short time frame although it was many years ago there are still empty places for those loved ones. With time, the pain has lessened but I still miss them.

I have found many friends and lots of support at this site. I hope you both find the same. Making commitments and finding new friends takes time. My dad used to say that you have to meet a 100 people to find a couple of good friends that are keepers. To a degree, he was right. So, please dont give up on finding what you are looking for.

I hope that the new year is off to a good start for both of you and that it will only get better!

hugs and good wishes,

[proseros]

Thanx.:three:

[Bluebiyou]

andyoumake3,
You'll be a little more likely to find someone here, than say, at a local southern Baptist church.
I cannot say that I have met every lover in a bar, but I have met more in a bar than any other single establishment type. Likewise, it is more likely that you will meet your desired someone else outside of this web site, but it certainly is more likely that you meet someone here vice any other single establishment. So before you pack up here and invest your time hanging out at your local church looking for a 3rd... (okay, I'm exaggerating a little).
Just my humble opinion.

Proseros, (Prosperos from Shakespere's 'The Tempest'?)
My condolences on your recent loss.
You're intelligent and opinionated. You'll fit in well here. I personally like this site because... I feel more free to say nearly anything, especially involving my bisexuality. I find this place to be good therapy, and, who knows what else may come? There's lots of members, but of course everyone's interest waxes and wanes.
Welcome

[proseros]

Thank you Blue.

No not quite Shakespeare but close enough I guess from another point of view...

[the mage]

I sure do agree with the sentiment of the postings.
One big issue of course is the size of the site. World wide doesn't help a person get some.... That often boils down to personal effort and a bit of luck/timing as it always has.

I sure do think this should be a place to exchange real info on real life.
A place where we of common life thread should be able to get and give info and support. It is not. There is access to info from here if you ask but you still must reference it yourself. Posting real stuff here about life outside of sex has proven interesting, but often unwelcome as well.
Posting anything close to personally revealing has proven foolish in the extreme.
I do not recommend it here.
Online activities are much like the bath house. Its a group of people looking for sexual titillation. All claim entry to "the community" in order to get inside, but once inside they become as they really are, just a bunch of people out to fuck somebody.
Searching out individuals from profiles here and striking up private offsite contact is a better option.

[PolyLoveTriad]

My God, we're all so afraid of one another...

Im sorry to hear of your loss, I lost my brother and his 2 children one year ago in a freak chance happening. I know how you feel.

Im not afraid of anyone, but I completely understand the statement. I try to not discuss things like relgion, politics... I put no one down or do I judge others for their beliefs or cultures but I know that several times when I mention Im a christian I get bashed, even though I never push my religion on anyone.

As for meeting people in bars... I live in the deep south, nearest town has a population of about 2000 people, spread into the countryside. My town isnt on the map, we have no post office, no mayor, but we do have a town name and about 50 people. Local bar has about a dozen stools and the guy runs it really is named Bubba, need I say more? lol I have a better chance of getting the pastor at the local church in bed than going there. There is NO WHERE within 2 hours of driving to go anywhere with a glb community anything.

Anyway, the search goes on...

[proseros]

I sure do agree with the sentiment of the postings.
One big issue of course is the size of the site. World wide doesn't help a person get some.... That often boils down to personal effort and a bit of luck/timing as it always has.

I sure do think this should be a place to exchange real info on real life.
A place where we of common life thread should be able to get and give info and support. It is not. There is access to info from here if you ask but you still must reference it yourself. Posting real stuff here about life outside of sex has proven interesting, but often unwelcome as well.
Posting anything close to personally revealing has proven foolish in the extreme.
I do not recommend it here.
Online activities are much like the bath house. Its a group of people looking for sexual titillation. All claim entry to "the community" in order to get inside, but once inside they become as they really are, just a bunch of people out to fuck somebody.
Searching out individuals from profiles here and striking up private offsite contact is a better option.

--------------------------------

Preciseley the issue here: And which I'd has to do with a particular maintenance of how this site is set up. This would the third I've mentioned the absence of "sub" forums that allow for sharing interests and experience on a common grounds encompased within the bisexual diaspora.

I am not just bisexual. My bisexuality is not the beginning or end of me, but it seems the only thing we are able to universally relate here unless we open up diverse 'spaces' which otherwise are lost in the hotchpot of other mundane matters-That one person is Christian and another Hedonist or Buddhist-whatever, doesn't mean we do not share similar ethic. But without say a "Religon and Ethics" forum all to itself, how could anyone know?

That is pretty much what I mean when I say we are all so afraid of each other; being so rooted in networking ourselves as bisexual as the sole basis of our identity and existence. Quite frankly, there are all kinds of diverse "misfit" up in here to sort through without, as pansexualists, any real commitment to inclusion. Too much room is left for indifference and even bias.

The aire of "tasteful factionalism" abounds. So it is built-and they have come.
But then what?

"Yes nice meeting you I'm bisexual too-but uh...I'm not into the leather thing. Bye." All accepted-none owned. One otherwise feels immersed in some murky cesspool of deviant cyber night-life that does nothing to hi-lite or nuture one's real purpose or perspective in the broader context of being.

So yet another argument for the structuring of this site to appear as a microcosm of the larger world where people do ther things besides hunt for
orgasmic trysts.

[arana]

We've been on this site for a while now and we have met some really wonderful people and some real jerks too. Its been an interesting thing being here. Reading ads, reading threads, posting threads. Even made a few people mad with threads with absolutely no effort and made some very good friends.

We came to the site to find someone who would be a good fit for us to have in our lives. Unfortunately that hasn't happened yet. I have high doubts that it ever will happen and honestly I'm about to give up on the whole idea. Now had we been swingers we would have bed hopped nearly every day of the year. Somehow we are penalized for wanting only one person and wanting that person to be with only us. We also get a lot more hits on other sites from interested people, they just don't meet the requirements of what we are looking for, either they are married, gay, or just want a quickie.

I know the name of the site is bisexual.com but so many people see the name of the site as biSEXual.com which is fine, this site is for all of us. I just wish there was an easier way to browse ads to find people who wanted what we want, or ones so people could find that quickie. There's also hundreds of guys who all they really want to do is cyber, also fine, just not for us.

I wish there was more for people like us or maybe its us who don't fit in here. I don't feel it unreasonable what we are looking for. Maybe someone can check out our profile and give us some hints and tips? I have no clue.

All in all we really enjoy it here. Its a good site. I guess thats why we are still hanging around here. Anyway, I just wanted to ramble off some thoughts there. May the new year bring happiness and enjoyment to all!

I'm glad that you're still hanging around the site and hope that no matter what you won't give up. It's hard enough to find a mate that has the right chemistry to make your heart sing let alone a 3rd that is compatible with both of you...unless you're not picky and would take just anyone, which you obviously are not. Some click faster then others but if it's meant to be it will happen. Good luck and keep a positive attitude.

[FerociousFeline]

Hi AYM3


When I say diversity clearly that includes cultural and racial diversity and with that comes a whole diaspora of social and ethical values that just do not seem to be expressively or explicity present, as if the site served as some magnet for reciprocal or mutual indulgence and experimentation in whatever one's current deviation happened to be at the time.

{Ok, I get that you're edumakated;)}

In other words quite plainly, it doesn't seem to me, as you've indicated, that many people are interested in building a social network within a specific community of people more than just "getting off" in an obscure way with equally "obscure" people with "obscure" motivations rather than getting to know one another as individuals and sharing-if even in a remote way-any unique and wonderful qualities 'in kind' with those of similar 'ilk'. I have a found a broader spectrum of bi guys and gals in generic forums who have a greater conviction and interest understanding themselves and others than seem to reflect here.

Perhaps that is an affect of this particular main forum where everything is lumped into one big anything goes post-for-all. What's missing I would say, might be casual sub-forums (entertainment,music,religon and spirituality,under 30/over 40, health, business, and etc) which might provide greater interaction and allow us to relate on a level that demonstrates just how deep our waters run. Othewrwise it is as if someone handed me a "bi-sexual" hat at the door, pointed to the bar and snack table and wished me good luck fishing in shallow waters, as if wearing a hat were supposed make me or anyone else an instant hit and everything anyone needs to know about anyone is handled by the 'bisexual' department of their personality.

{OMG I think I have never seen this expressed better!!!!!}

This holiday both my sister and her son passed away. But who do I talk to about that here and for what? Precisely because I am bisexual doesn't mean that shit doesn't happen in my life-most which has nothing to do with sex.
It's the community of real people living real lives as bisexuals and interacting in the broader scheme of things that is missing.

"Okay so you're bisexual-but how are you doing?" That kinda thing. People don't seem to care about one another here as long as they are carrying on about about getting off.

There are those of us who do care. There are those of us who live to be as real and open as possible. Please feel free to contact me any time! About ANYTHING!

As far as actually "meeting" anyone goes there is an aire of half desperation and qulifying limitation. I personally didn't come here to interview for a "hookup" with anyone more than just to get to know other people with the same perspective about living and loving. No maybe I'm not what 'x' is looking for nor they what I'm looking for but that doesn't we can't share our interests and values and get to know one another better. And I'm sick of this gay/bi 'neo-organizational' factionalism shit too. It's silly, and how you 'label' yourself should be nothing to do with your genuine interest in another person, your capacity to want to be intimate with them.

best to leave expectations at the door and just enjoy the company of good people while you can. Life is too damned short for vain promiscuities.

My God, we're all so afraid of one another...

I hear you. Actually, I feel like everyone is afraid of ME sometimes!



Please know that I will say a prayer for you and your family. If there is anything that I can do to assist you through this period please don't hesitate to get in touch with me.

FF

[OcalaCouple683]

Gosh I hope it doesn't take us that long to meet the right people! :( I know what you mean about wishing there was an easier way to search for people interested in more than just quick meaningless sex...

anyway- stick around, we plan to! If anything I hope to atleast have some great conversation in this forum and hear from people that think like us! :flag3::female::male:

[noabody]

I wanted to say that I was sorry for your loss Proseros. My wife and I lost our first child still born in the last month of pregnancy. Bisexuality was a major part of my teen angst. I think a ripe mind full of awareness could get swallowed up whole by the weight of the world. As I've read, drama begets drama. Maybe we want everything to be bigger when we are young, more colorful, more meaningful. We see it in the movies and on TV so it must be so.

As a teenager, when my thoughts had time to collect together, they were always morose. It seemed like pain and sadness were the most powerful emotions. It's hard to carry that kind of burden for no apparent reason. It was almost like the loss of our child was a long awaited validation, perhaps the conclusion of the precognitive feelings I had.

I think tend to focus in a reply, so I chose pain and loss. Andyoumake3 and Proseros have excellent points that I considered myself, so I had to reply. Forgive the relevance.

I wonder how many here will find what they seek, how many have already found it, and how many will be satisfied regardless.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol I am not here for sex, quickies, or cos its * bisexuals v's the rest of the world *

and I have met some of the most amazing, interesting, impressive and inspirational people.....in this site

most of them are people, of different sexualities and understandings.... that have taught me a lot about myself.....and they have done it without a quickie or cyber...lol

I hope that andyoumake3 find that special person that makes them complete, cos in a way, thru their words in other threads, I have found the completion in me, being single and celibate....and I am at peace.....

I know this is bisexual.com..... and i agree that many people only see the sex in the bisexual part..... but there are some in the site, that see the * all * in the * bisexuALL * part..... and they are the people that I truly thank and admire