Guilt..or doing 'the right thing"

[parkwings]

Even if one has 'permission' from an understanding partner, does anyone out there feel guilty about fulfilling the other side of thier sexual desires?

Is it fair to the straight partner? It's a tough question.

Thx

[diB4u]

Well, you've told your partner your sexuality and if she is ok with it, then no there should be no guit in being bisexual. Cheating and bisexuality is not the same though, but like you just posted, you told your other half your sexuality.

[Germanicus]

Its a tough question to answer because it depends from where this guilt arises. Many people will say that you shouldnt feel guilty because your partner is ok with it. But perhaps your guilt stems from some subconscious feeling that your partner "is justing saying that" and would rather you didn't. Perhaps it stems from you feeling guilty about same-sex contact, etc., etc. Of course these are just suggestions, but there are many reasons why you could feel this way.

Guilt, like so many human emotions and emotional reactions, is one which is essentially subconscious driven and is difficult to articulate. Its easy to feel guilty, but difficult to put the extact feeling into clear words isnt easy. But most people, in their heart of hearts, know the exact cause of their guilt on a subject (and yes I include myself in that group). Nonetheless, I believe that once someone recognises the cause of their guilt, etc., they are half-way to dealing with it since I believe that recognising it begins a process of where it is put into perspective alongside all the other emotions. I don't think itys possible to eradicate guilt (unless you become a sociopath or become disassociative), but it assumes it place in your range of emotional reactions alongside all the others and stops trying to dominate everything.

Me? Would I feel guilty? It would depend upon why I was doing it. I grew up in a one parent family due to the other parent's adultery and I swore I would never be like that. But overtime it became a subconscious stick I used to beat myself with if I even thought about anyone else, irrespective of whether I would have done anything, whenever I was in a relationship. Of course I know I am not that parent, but it took me a long time to recognise that - the final push to "freedom" came with counselling. But I know I would still feel guilty if I went off for some same-sex contact with someone else solely for the principle of doing it. I might not feel guilty towards my other half, but would feel guilt towards myself because I knew that I had done something for the wrong reason, rather than the right one.

[sdnaustin]

I think that if your partner is ok with it, but you still feel guilty, then there is something you aren't being honest about with yourself. Or perhaps you still need to work things out with your partner, communicate more, because there might still be some doubt inside about their acceptance.

My wife is mainly worried I will fall in love and leave her. The only guilt I would feel, is if I started to do just that, but so far, that's not been an issue, though I'm still new to being open about this.

[parkerbi]

i think anything is OK if my partner said OK. I NEVER FEEL GUILT!