Golden Rule

[void()]

Saw it mentioned in another thread, we ought to preserve the Golden Rule. This is not exactly an argument to either preserve it or abolish it. This is a bit of missive for general thought on the Golden Rule, nothing more or less.

Responses are not really needed, but appreciated if readers so choose to leave any.

The Golden Rule as understood by me follows the simple definition of treating others as you desire being treated. I'll posit this as the generally accepted definition by most folks, so long as it harms no one. Yes, I know that is generalizing, bear it out a bit though.

For the sake of it, we have a guy named Frank. Frank likes early morning head. He meets another guy, Joe.

Well, following the Golden Rule, Frank gives Joe early morning head. Joe gets infuriated as he is loathe to being awakened finding himself spent. He likes being more lucid to make love.

Is there harm caused? I think so. Joe thinks so. He loves Frank, but can't stand being given early morning head by him, yet has difficulty saying anything because he loves him so.

Joe meets a lady, Cindy. Cindy loves having tea at a cafe. Frank hates the cafe but goes with Joe and Cindy because they both love it.

Again we can see there is a bit of harm caused. Yes it may seem trivial. Is it really though, when love keeps a person from expressing themselves out of sustaining itself?

Is it possible the Golden Rule does not always fit?

Yes, I unfairly neglect the vital element of basic communication in these examples. Life is not fair either, and these are examples that are plausible. Yes, communication probably would help out in these examples.

But, if you exclude the communication it becomes clear how problems can arise. Even with some of the best communication there are still misunderstandings, missed cues or different versions of meanings. Problems happen with or without a Golden Rule.

Do I have an answer? No.

Do I expect an answer? No, because I doubt such an answer could ever be understood by all and mean exactly the same to all.

Well, better scoot, hope this wasn't too verbose.

[shameless agitator]

Good point Void. I think perhaps a better golden rule would be "whenever possible treat others as they wish to be treated." This obviously has it's shortcomings as well. For one thing, people like absolutes but this acknowledges that there really isn't one here. It's also dependent on communication, but I think it's about as close as we're going to get to a universal rule.

[johnnyeasy]

I have always tried to live bi the golden rule. I mentioned this to a new friend and said the golden rule was thus:

"He who has the GOLD, makes the RULES!"

[Bluebiyou]

Well Void,
not meaning to be contrary... I think the golden rule is a general rule for treating other people. People on the street, people at work, etc.
When increased initmacy occurs as in friendship and especially romance, it time to reach for a higher rule.
First, to clarify, remember there is love the feeling and love the action.
If you love someone, love them.
Meaning, if you love (feeling) someone, love (action) them.
You can honor and love someone by honoring and loving their feelings.
Now we venture into quicksand ridden area!
Because, to a lesser extent, we can also love someone by benefiting them. By this I mean doing something that is probably beneficial to that person, but is not in regard to their feelings.
Throw in perceptions, miscommunications, personal maturity/understanding, and personal differences... and we realize there is no single path written in stone.
There are some general rules/truths that seem to work and be true most of the time.

Thus the melodious, harmonious, and cacophonic nature of life itself.

On the floating, shapeless oceans
I did all my best to smile
til your singing eyes and fingers
drew me loving into your eyes.
And you sang "Sail to me, sail to me;
Let me enfold you."
Here I am, here I am waiting to hold you.
Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you here when I was full sail?
For you sang, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow."
Oh my heart, oh my heart shies from the sorrow.

[wolfcamp]

Life is all about trade-offs, but it's also about balance. If you continually compromise yourself for someone else, then you quit being true to yourself.

[shameless agitator]

I have always tried to live bi the golden rule. I mentioned this to a new friend and said the golden rule was thus:

"He who has the GOLD, makes the RULES!"I use that formulation quite often too. Of course I'm a salesman, so what do you expect?

[bityme]

Unfortunately, today the rule seems to have transformed to:

"DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO UNTO YOU"

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol I like the idea of: Do unto others...then RUN! lol
Hugs Ya'll
Cat

[elian]

A better translation of this rule would be "Before you act - imagine the impact of your actions on others."

The effectiveness of this doctrine relies on the assumption that the person who is doing the imagining has been acculturated to so-called "normal" societal values, knows the difference between "right" and "wrong" and would always act in a "graceful" way..

It's trying to get past the basic, default reptilian response of the brain.

It goes hand in hand with one of my other favorite taglines - "A child of five could understand this - Somebody fetch me a child of five!"

On a semi-related rant/tangent - I swear my speedometer must be broken - humans are such curious creatures - they sure moan a lot about the high price of gas lately - but you wouldn't know it by the number of folks that blew past me today. What's the hurry? I don't get it. I feel like saying "Short of having a heart attack in the ambulance, your lack of planning and warped perception of relationship to universal consciousness does not constitute an emergency on my part." It seems like people in local area here take out all their aggression on the highway - why because people don't take a deep breath, get a HUG and RELAX?

I digress in lamenting the disuse of technology as anything but a shiny "hood ornament" status symbol - I'm a big fan of tech when it works - it should NOT be the CENTER of anything - the appropriate use of technology augments ability - it should not replace ability, consideration or responsibility. People are just too stubborn/greedy/ignorant (circle one) to use it correctly.

I think we could do a whole lot better as a society - I have seen it when it works..this..what we have now..isn't working. Maybe I am oversimplifying.

..Sorry for hijacking the thread - we now return to our regularly scheduled program already in progress.. "Philosophy 101 - with Professor Void"

[Bluebiyou]

Life is all about trade-offs, but it's also about balance. If you continually compromise yourself for someone else, then you quit being true to yourself.

Balance. True.
You're not 'wrong', but I'd take a little exception to the compromise part.
If I'm serving my love, I'm being true to myself. Whatever compromises I make are a choice. Sometimes the choices are not the best, but such are decisions of all life....
I think this was most illustrated (on the silver screen) by "Sunset Blvd" where the 1st husband became his wife's butler. Staying with her through other husbands and psychosis, he chose to serve his love.
Of course this is a Hollywood creation.
Often people (especially women) lose everything after becoming ensnared by manipulation which began as 'serving love'. At what point did they transition from 'serving their love' to 'quit being true to themselves'?

Ah! I'm just babbling on... late at night... had a few drinks...
Best wishes... and good will towards all men!

[void()]

Void looks at the words, looks again. "A professor? Oh no. I'll return to the hills for sure now."

It comes back meanings. Someone points out 'what is defined as normal and right and wrong'. Not sure I can pin the tail on the donkey named normal. Seems that burrow eludes most everyone. I'm in good company then. :)

Thanks for the responses. They've given me more to consider. Hope they've lent others as much. As I stated, this wasn't about arguments or answers. It's only idle chatter.

"I'm making small talk. 'This bodes not well.''" Void looks around for the blue streak of lightning awaiting to strike. It doesn't.

Guess I'll move along before it does.

[Bluebiyou]

<== Blue streaks across thread, trying to enlighten, but too late to nail 'the void'...

[elian]

Void looks at the words, looks again. "A professor? Oh no. I'll return to the hills for sure now."

It comes back meanings. Someone points out 'what is defined as normal and right and wrong'. Not sure I can pin the tail on the donkey named normal. Seems that burrow eludes most everyone. I'm in good company then. :)

Thanks for the responses. They've given me more to consider. Hope they've lent others as much. As I stated, this wasn't about arguments or answers. It's only idle chatter.

"I'm making small talk. 'This bodes not well.''" Void looks around for the blue streak of lightning awaiting to strike. It doesn't.

Guess I'll move along before it does.

A few people are born with the charisma and other qualities it takes to be a "natural born" leader - the rest of us poor shloobs have to take turns muddling through the role until we get it right. I'm a bit submissive myself, but I can be dominate when the situation calls for it..even though I'm never all that comfortable having the role for too long. I guess that's because I would PREFER to see cooperation instead of competition - competition implies that one group must be dominate over another. Such is the way it works in life I suppose.

Thanks for the topic.. :)

[elian]

Balance. True.
You're not 'wrong', but I'd take a little exception to the compromise part.
If I'm serving my love, I'm being true to myself. Whatever compromises I make are a choice. Sometimes the choices are not the best, but such are decisions of all life....
I think this was most illustrated (on the silver screen) by "Sunset Blvd" where the 1st husband became his wife's butler. Staying with her through other husbands and psychosis, he chose to serve his love.
Of course this is a Hollywood creation.
Often people (especially women) lose everything after becoming ensnared by manipulation which began as 'serving love'. At what point did they transition from 'serving their love' to 'quit being true to themselves'?

Ah! I'm just babbling on... late at night... had a few drinks...
Best wishes... and good will towards all men!

Yes, I have found that I can be a very loyal person once I've committed my mind to an idea - whether this is healthy or not depends on the idea. As far as generalizations go, everything in moderation seems to be the best policy I think.

[darkeyes]

Ther is no golden rule.. every 1 has er or is own dependin on how she or e c's the world... but not harmin ne 1 in ne way, or hurtin ther feelins, acceptin we all diff in sum way or otha an respectin that, an lookin afta the world we liv in an not treatin it as an infinite larder of guddies 2 b ripped off, an as a public toilet an midden is a pretty gud start!!