A Sunday Morning Chinwag

[darkeyes]

Last night we had dinner at me m8s.. quiet for us on a sat night but it was nice and we had a few laughs considering..

This morning we tootled off to see another m8 (the one who I let have my old flat which I still love and miss with a vengeance) who was out on the razz last ight..she wasnt in as good fettle as we were let me tell you..but I digress..

It was a nice sunny morning and we sat on the step at the bottom of the stairs just watching the world go by (something else I miss about "my" little flat) when we overheard the conversation of a couple of 6 or 7 year old girls trying not to let us hear them but little girls being little girls they failed miserably.

"See her accross there wi' the yelly (yellow) jeans an rid (red) top on?" said little girl one (who I knew from when I lived there..)

"Aye I dae (do). Whit (what) aboot her" said little girl two (who I didn't).

"She's a dyke" says girl number one.

"A whit? Whits that?" asks girl number two

"She goes wi' ither wimmen. Dae ye no think thats awfy disgustin?" says no 1.

"eeeeeeeeeeewwwwww" says girl no 2.

"Aye.. she used ti (to) bide (live) up that close (stair).. fuck Im gled (glad) she moved away.. she shouldni be allowed ti walk the streets.. ma mum thinks she should be in the jyle (jail)"

With that they moved away into the flats opposite giggling echoing in the stairwell..

I make no comment about it.. it was just an observation of a nice Sunday morning...

....but it did make me smile:)

[Hephaestion]

Children often echo what they have heard until they learn to think for themselves. I learned quickly not to discuss neighbours in their earshot.

Occasionally eavesdroping on their world can be a real treat whatever the subject. Sometimes one sees or hears something and it re-eastablishes one's faith in the new generations; that they are on the right lines.

At other times they can be so humbling. One fine day recently (rare in itself) I was walking the ten miles to the garage where my ailing car was resident. Just for the hell of it I went along an unfamiar road and happened upon a village like centre quite incongruous with my expectations of London. People were sitting on pavement cafes and pubs and a gentle hubbub of merriment prevailed. Above this I could hear the voice of a single boy, alternately talking then singing. I spied him kneeling on the (gasp) clean floor outside a shop window alone and some fifty feet from the nearest adult. About five yrs old, he was lost in his animations to whatever was in the shop window. As the reflection from the glass cleared I saw it. To him it was a life size golden teddybear smiling back and fully attentive to its chum outside.

Touched, I walked past quietly and without staring so as not to intrude and wondered if any others had noticed the marvelous show in their vicinty

[darkeyes]

On the bus to college this mornin lil boy says to his mum "Mummy..that man's pickle is showing.."

I looked but for the life of me couldn't see sign of a pickle anywhere.. lucky escape me then..

[darkeyes]

I was fiddling about in the garden doing a little tidying up this morning when I heard Kate and our daughter nattering in the potting shed. Kate happened to mention that our daughter's latest seemed like a nice boy and gently teasing her, mentioned that I had caught them kissing in the conservatory on Friday. Shiv became all defensive and snapped back at her mum "What do you expect me to do.. eat him..???"

At which point, being me... I dropped the secaturs and broke up into absolute hysterics.

[Bluebiyou]

...Shiv became all defensive and snapped back at her mum "What do you expect me to do.. eat him..???"

At which point, being me... I dropped the secaturs and broke up into absolute hysterics.

I'm sorry to give a negative feedback to you, Fran, but... perhaps its a dialect translation gone wrong or misperception. I try to stay away from this area, but could it be your 'clevin' jokes and implications have impressed your young one, showing (with perhaps other examples) of your disdain (not to be confused with disinterest) for the male?
I know this is dangerous territory for me to question you... and please don't respond.
But if my boy said to me about kissing a girl "What do you expect me to do, eat her?"... I'd be thinking double about how I treat and regard women.
Like I said, this is not meant to be a harsh rebuke, but a gentle provoker of thought.
It my be nothing... just a misperception on my part.
:)

[darkeyes]

Monday mornin chinwag this.. 3 lil shits talkin bout new student teacher on er 1st day on playground duty...


Shit 1 "Worrr Rab... widnae(wouldn't) mind a wee bit there.. she hus a gie braw (very nice) erse (bootie)"

Shit 2 " aye (inaudable).. but she husnae (hasn't) got ony (any) tit.. but I wid (would).. wid u no??"

Shit 3 (obviously the alpha male) "Fukkin scrawny wee thing..widnae touch hur wi a 10 fit (foot) pole.. wid be feared o scratchin masel (myself) ti ribbons.. noooooo (long grawn out nowwwwwwwww).. if yer talkin aboot Miss T*******.. wid gae (give) her yin (one) a' rite.."

Scrawny???????? Cheeky wee buggas... Fran has long memries for such insults...an pay bak will follow in due course....;)

[darkeyes]

A young and green L plated teacher, her mentor and a Deputy Head met with a parent and her son after the young and green L plated teacher found a hand written "love" note in her bag impugning the young and green L plated teacher's known lack of romantic interest in the opposite sex and offering in clear and precise, if somewhat graphic and childish terms, how he was ready and willing to return her from the ways of darkness...

The young and green L plated teacher's jaw dropped as she saw the mother enter the Head's room when she observed that mother was a large, hard, red faced battleaxe from a local deprived housing scheme and admits freely that she feared that the interview would not go well and that mother was about to rip the head from her shoulders because of her abnormal proclivities. She did indeed fear the worst.

After having explained to her by the Deputy Head the problem and having been allowed to read a copy of the offending letter, all the while the young and green L plated teacher trembling in her seat, the parent sat quietly for a few seconds turned to her son and said;

"Ye stupit wee bugger... whit dye think ye wer daein'.. in yer ain writin'?? Yer dense ye wee tit. Ye will apologise an ye will dae it noo. Yer a nasty wee b*****d an I will no' hae ye showin me or yer faither up like that.. wait till I get ye hame.."

Her face turned to the young and green L plated teacher, and her face became much softer and she apologised for her son's behaviour very sweetly, and made assurances that there would be no repeat of this unfortunate incident.

After being told of the sanctions against her son for his behaviour, she accepted these in very good grace, said thank you, rose from her chair and bodily threw her son through the door, all the while warning him of her, as yet unspecified sanctions, which as the young and green L plated teacher thought, were going to be much more severe, terrifying and effective than anything the school could inflict.

As they wandered down the corridor the son was heard to say "But mum she's a f****n'* dyke.."

Mother was heard by all to respond "Stupit wee f****r.. whit you and that wee s***e across the road get up tae is ony different like is it???...":eek:

Appearances are deceptive indeed, and in it's way this incident is a small beacon of hope for which this young and green L plated teacher does indeed thank kismet and sighs a massive sigh of relief... if only for the fact she got out alive. From small acorns doth great oaks grow...