Just another waste of breath (rant)

[MarieDelta]

Heh.

I'm not much into "politics" as such. But I do care deeply for my life.

Although it seems as if some folk out there dont see how the two are related.

Right now if I was to get killed the killer would simply have to tell the jury that they were afraid I was goin to "make them gay" and they'd be let off with a slap on the wrist. Probably with a charge for disturbing the peace, firing a gun in city limits or littering.

Its depressing to note that while the transgender community mourned 30 of its members this last year (including 2 here, near where I work and live.) While ton of people could show up for a daytime protest of Measure 8's passage. It was mainly only the trans community (and a few allies) who showed up.

Typical.

Honestly I understand, its not the funnest thing to think about. Its so much more fun to think about what you'd do with me, cause after all I am just a piece of meat here for you to lay your fantasies on.

then you all show up one day and go "Hey where's Marie go?"

"I havent heard from her in ages, I wonder whatever Happened to her?"

Meanwhile I am in some morgue somewhere, murder? suicide ? accident?

1 out of 12 transfolk

Thats how many are murdered. More than any other group.

That could so easily be me or a close friend.

But whatever, I am just another tranny to most of you. A convienent Chick with a dick, a shemale, wow look at that freak man!

A thrill to think about , but when shes gone, who cares? She was just a pain in the ass anyways. Always talking about things that made us sad. God knows we cant be sad. Hey, who needs kleenex when I have you?


And to think people think Bisexuals are shallow! Gee, really?

[izzfan]

The Transgender Day of Rememberance was yesterday, so I don't think that the appauling level of crimes against TG people is completely unnoticed. Although, as you said, it's mostly only TG people who know that this day even exists. When I saw the list of names and how they died, my first reaction was one of disbelief - I had to wonder what exactly was going through the minds of the people who did this and I just couldn't come up with an answer or explanation.

Luckily, I have not experienced any prejudice but that is probably due to the fact that I am a crossdresser who is still mostly in the closet (except for going out "en femme" on halloween and other times when I feel that I can get away with it) and I have to say that I do not have the courage to properly express my feminine side in public as often as I want to. I know that it is a lot harder for TS people and I definately understand what you are saying.

Have you seen the TDOR webcomics project on www.dolari.org ? Some of the comics on there brought a tear to my eye. They even inspired me to do my own piece of artwork about the day of rememberance (I posted it on my profile this afternoon).

One point that was raised on another forum was that all the TG people who die by suicide are not mentioned on the day of rememberance. I imagine that the number would be a lot higher than 30.

1 out of 12? That's pretty scary. It's even more scary that a lot of the murderers are not brought to justice and yet even more scary to think that I could get killed for just being what I am (luckily, I live in a reasonably tolerant area so this is not likely).

[darkeyes]

Heh.

I'm not much into "politics" as such. But I do care deeply for my life.

Although it seems as if some folk out there dont see how the two are related.

Right now if I was to get killed the killer would simply have to tell the jury that they were afraid I was goin to "make them gay" and they'd be let off with a slap on the wrist. Probably with a charge for disturbing the peace, firing a gun in city limits or littering.

Its depressing to note that while the transgender community mourned 30 of its members this last year (including 2 here, near where I work and live.) While ton of people could show up for a daytime protest of Measure 8's passage. It was mainly only the trans community (and a few allies) who showed up.

Typical.

Honestly I understand, its not the funnest thing to think about. Its so much more fun to think about what you'd do with me, cause after all I am just a piece of meat her for you to lay your fantasies on.

then you all show up one day and go "Hey where's Marie go?"

"I havent heard from her in ages, I wonder whatever Happened to her?"

Meanwhile I am in some morgue somewhere, murder? suicide ? accident?

1 out of 12 transfolk

Thats how many are murdered. More than any other group.

That could so easily be me or a close friend.

But whatever, I am just another tranny to most of you. A convienent Chick with a dick, a shemale, wow look at that freak man!

A thrill to think about , but when shes gone, who cares? She was just a pain in the ass anyways. Always talking about things that made us sad. God knows we cant be sad. Hey, who needs kleenex when I have you?


And to think people think Bisexuals are shallow! Gee, really?Marie, Im not sure what brought this on but I believe I can hazard a guess. We are not all shallow, no more than any other sector of our society, but we have our share. We are supposed to be the GLBT movement but really we are to a great extent a disparate and loosely allied bunch who when it comes down to it are mostly interested in our own little section of the community. I identify with bisexual people more than gays for instance because thats where I come from.. for most of my life its how I have identified my sexuality.

Until I got to know you, I had never known transgendered people, and until recently had never met one in the flesh. Yet because of knowing you, and several others on this site I have learned so much and know that of all sectors within the community it is the least known and least understood and the most oppressed and victimised.. even within the GLBT community. It is not that people don't care. It is that people don't understand. If there is a criticism it is because they are incapable of understanding. Even allowing for the fact that we all are in the same boat and have our own struggles within society really we understand our own little bit of GLBT and this is especially true of the transgendered community. I can understand men and women within the bisexual community because I was bisexual myself for most of my life. I understand the gay community less well although I consider myself a lesbian because I have never involved myself with the gay community as such, and while I vaguely understand what makes us gay, I do not fully understand at all why large parts of that community are so petty and bitchy.

With transgendered people it is different. I simply cannot imagine what it is to feel trapped inside a body to which I feel alien, and wish myself changed so much I become almost a completely different human being. Believe it or not I have tried, but it is something I dont think unless you feel it you can ever imagine.

There are many who love you on this site, because you are you. Not because of what you are but because of who you are. The fact that we can never properly understand transgenderism does not mean we should not try, or that we do not care. Most people are like me. They have had little or no contact with transgendered people, and it is for most on this site their first contact with you and very litte understanding of your problems or ur feelings.. be patient with us Marie.. it is only when we begin to know people like you we can get an inkling of your world and what it means. Im sorry we are such a selfish self centred lot, but we are only just learning about people like you, I am anyway, and at least some of us are making the effort to understand and learn more, because of you and others on this site.

Yes we are shallow in many ways, but not entirely so. We are slowly, all too slowly coming to terms with transgenderism, yet to our shame we are quite simply not making sufficient effort to truly try and understand, nor have we yet developed the compassion and support for you that you so desperately need and deserve and should recieve from us all.:(

[HighEnergy]

Marie, you are more than *just* any of those terms you mention to lots of us. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. And I'm very sorry that we didn't know about the day, otherwise, I'm sure many of us would have taken the time to go.

1 in 12. What a dreadful statistic.

I hope you know that folks really do look forward to your writings, ideas, and such. Welcome back...

[csrakate]

Marie, Im not sure what brought this on but I believe I can hazard a guess. We are not all shallow, no more than any other sector of our society, but we have our share. We are supposed to be the GLBT movement but really we are to a great extent a disparate and loosely allied bunch who when it comes down to it are mostly interested in our own little section of the community. I identify with bisexual people more than gays for instance because thats where I come from.. for most of my life its how I have identified my sexuality.

Until I got to know you, I had never known transgendered people, and until recently had never met one in the flesh. Yet because of knowing you, and several others on this site I have learned so much and know that of all sectors within the community it is the least known and least understood and the most oppressed and victimised.. even within the GLBT community. It is not that people don't care. It is that people don't understand. If there is a criticism it is because they are incapable of understanding. Even allowing for the fact that we all are in the same boat and have our own struggles within society really we understand our own little bit of GLBT and this is especially true of the transgendered community. I can understand men and women within the bisexual community because I was bisexual myself for most of my life. I understand the gay community less well although I consider myself a lesbian because I have never involved myself with the gay community as such, and while I vaguely understand what makes us gay, I do not fully understand at all why large parts of that community are so petty and bitchy.

With transgendered people it is different. I simply cannot imagine what it is to feel trapped inside a body to which I feel alien, and wish myself changed so much I become almost a completely different human being. Believe it or not I have tried, but it is something I dont think unless you feel it you can ever imagine.

There are many who love you on this site, because you are you. Not because of what you are but because of who you are. The fact that we can never properly understand transgenderism does not mean we should not try, or that we do not care. Most people are like me. They have had little or no contact with transgendered people, and it is for most on this site their first contact with you and very litte understanding of your problems or ur feelings.. be patient with us Marie.. it is only when we begin to know people like you we can get an inkling of your world and what it means. Im sorry we are such a selfish self centred lot, but we are only just learning about people like you, I am anyway, and at least some of us are making the effort to understand and learn more, because of you and others on this site.

Yes we are shallow in many ways, but not entirely so. We are slowly, all too slowly coming to terms with transgenderism, yet to our shame we are quite simply not making sufficient effort to truly try and understand, nor have we yet developed the compassion and support for you that you so desperately need and deserve and should recieve from us all.:(

Well stated, Fran...and you echo my sentiments exactly. And Marie, I want you to know that it is by knowing YOU that I have learned to put aside any preconceived notions and found myself wanting to understand even more. It's not the politics, it's not the campaigns or the rallies, and it's not the "cold hard realities" that caught my attention. It's because you allowed me into your life and let me see the true depth of your soul and the size of your heart. It's because you shared your dreams, hopes and frustrations with me and allowed me to give you an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on while offering the same to me in my times of need. It's because we have spent time just talking about life in general....laughing at some things that we found amusing as well as venting frustrations over things we do not understand and lamenting our inability to affect change. And it's the way you have shared information with me about your life and your daily struggles and not laughed at my naivete whenever I asked you a question nor demeaning me because it was sometimes so outlandish. In short, it is because of you and your ability to reach out and touch the lives of others that you have opened so many minds in the short time we have known you. So forgive me if I haven't shown support by rallying or marching for a cause. Believe me it isn't out of shallowness or a lack of interest...it's just not something that ever crossed my mind to do. Call it ignorance perhaps, but in all honesty, I am just one of those people who has kept her political and personal issues to herself and never saw a need to "take to the streets" to express them. It's not because I don't care but I guess it's because I never thought I could make a difference by doing so. I realize that it's only by participating in such events that we can bring about change but for me, I had hoped to make some sort of change on a smaller scale...by trying to make some changes within myself and opening up my mind and my heart and simply trying to be there whenever I was needed. I realize now that my efforts, while based in good intention, can be interpreted as lacking sympathy and compassion and for that I am truly sorry. But I hope you know that at least you have affected change in a small way by becoming my friend and sharing your life with me and opening my eyes to something that I had never before given much thought to. It may not be on the grand scale of what you are seeking in order to feel accepted and understood, but please know that it's heartfelt and sincere.:)

Hugs,
Kate

[_Joe_]

I barely know you Marie, and hope to get to know you better for you.

I'm sorry you're feeling down like this, but your feelings are valid and pretty much verified. It's sad to realize that human or not, there's still prejudice going on this day and age...... if not for race or color or sex, but well, ya sex. Just a new course of it.

Wish I could be of more comfort :(

[MarieDelta]

Look guys, I'm not trying to say that you all havent been wonderful, each in your way and thats great. More than you know, its wonderful.

But it really wasnt about politics last night, nor really religion, just an honoring of folks, who like me, were trying to live their dream and were killed for it. Some young, some old. There were no pickets, reporters, or even a slight chance of being outed. Heck there were more straight people there, although of course the majority were trans.


But I (and I guess here is my mistake) see the Bisexual community and the Transgender community as allies in the same way that the Gay and Lesbians are allies.

Our interests may not always coincide, nor do we always want to hang out together, but politically our interests are very much in common.

Human Rights are human rights, no matter who they apply to. Whether its the flaming homosexual or the butch dyke, or me.

You see even though it wasnt me that was killed , a small piece of me died with them. Maybe in ways that you will never even be able to see.

So yeah thats me on the slab in the morgue, dead, at least some part of me. Because who knows that person could have been the one to cure cancer, invent a new fuel, paint the next Mona Lisa. She could have been the next William Shakespere, Michelangelo, or Einstien. He could have been the new Stephen King, Salvador Dali, or Stephen Hawkings.

But now, they are dead, And we have lost the chance to see what their special gift was.

Here is a quote from the Talmud that sums up what I am saying
“Whoever destroys a single life is as guilty as though he had destroyed the entire world; and whoever rescues a single life earns as much merit as though he had rescued the entire world”

But they go unnoticed, unmourned in many cases. They were as they are in life, alone.

[Charliebrite]

Know this Dear One: When it gets a bit Shitty................Charlie Loves you.

Since way back.............and I go way back...........I have felt and I practice this: "Judge not lest ye be judged"

Do the best you can with what you've got for as long as you can and don't sweat the small stuff.

Above all................Take care of yourself.

Blessed BE.

Charlie

[void()]

"But they go unnoticed, unmourned in many cases. They were as they are in life, alone."

I am not here to say I understand, or can even imagine what you feel. What I am here to say is I can empathize with you from experience as another human being. In that empathy, by your choice to express the loneliness, you offer insight which brings understanding.

Experience has shown me what is it to be invisible. You say part of yourself died with your fellow transformer. I say part of you also lived, and still does. You're here to continue onward with the dream/s you and they shared. They won't truly ever die if someone remembers them, and you obviously do.

Here's the gauntlet dropped with contempt at your feet, darling. Got the courage and strength to carry on for them? Not really too keen on living up to it but I can be a bastard at times. You'd get a hug, would sit holding you for a bit. Then I'd look at you and say, "bring it on for all of them that die, gal. Get your balls back and live!"

This pity parade, these tears can only drive you and others who love you mad. You've no need them, those who've left our 'level' don't need them either. They left and put a gift there for you, it's called adversity. Face it with the honor and dignity I know you to have. Life's a big ugly stinky bitch. When she's hunkered down looking you square in the face, you tell her she's got bad breath. If she asks if there's anything else, tell her that momma dresses her funny.

There's a Zen axiom, he who kills time just as well kill his brother. So, you going to pick my gauntlet up? I promise, no dirty old man tricks. Just one human to another here. Seeing you this down upsets me. Thought I'd offer you a life line. And yes if you need or want, go ahead and hate me. I'll be the heavy bag, and not just because I enjoy getting beaten.

[MarieDelta]

Here's the gauntlet dropped with contempt at your feet, darling. Got the courage and strength to carry on for them? Not really too keen on living up to it but I can be a bastard at times. You'd get a hug, would sit holding you for a bit. Then I'd look at you and say, "bring it on for all of them that die, gal. Get your balls back and live!"

This pity parade, these tears can only drive you and others who love you mad. You've no need them, those who've left our 'level' don't need them either. They left and put a gift there for you, it's called adversity. Face it with the honor and dignity I know you to have. Life's a big ugly stinky bitch. When she's hunkered down looking you square in the face, you tell her she's got bad breath. If she asks if there's anything else, tell her that momma dresses her funny.

There's a Zen axiom, he who kills time just as well kill his brother. So, you going to pick my gauntlet up? I promise, no dirty old man tricks. Just one human to another here. Seeing you this down upsets me. Thought I'd offer you a life line. And yes if you need or want, go ahead and hate me. I'll be the heavy bag, and not just because I enjoy getting beaten.

Honey, its OK, sometimes we need the tears as well as the laughter. Its all part of living.

I've no intention of laying down in their graves. Then the world has lost more than just one person. But for at least one time a year, they and the others who've died in past years will be memorialized. That too, is part of living.

So come next year on 11/20/09 I will be memorializing them as well. Because they were human, because they were family.

Thanks guys, for listening.

M

[arana]

Marie, I have learned a lot from knowing you but not nearly enough. I do know however that to know you is to love you and all that goes with. People fear the unknown and maybe that's their problem, they don't take the time to learn and get to know about transgenders. Instead they throw sticks and stones or pretend it doesn't exists.
I'm sorry you're feeling down my friend. I hope you know that you ARE loved.

[onewhocares]

But whatever, I am just another tranny to most of you. A convenient Chick with a dick, a shemale, wow look at that freak man!

A thrill to think about , but when shes gone, who cares?

Marie,

WHO CARES....I Care....ONEWHOCARES......

Perhaps I am presumptuous in my comments......I have been SO incredibly lucky to have a wonderful transgendered woman in my life. With her and through her I have had the privilege to meet so many wonderful transgendered women and transmen. When I began a process of helping my friend transition into the transgendered community I made it a point to learn as much about transgendered persons as I possibly could. I was fortunate to have a support center located in greater Boston which houses a national center for transgendered issues. It was through IFGE that I learned about the exact issues you speak of. I recalled that I had picked up Tapestry, the magazine of the group and read it on a flight that would take me to visit with my friend where I would help her to become the woman she had always dreamed to be. One article concerned the plight as you mentioned above. How many transgendered person have faced isolation, hatred, bigotry and worse the fate of murder or suicide. It horrified me to read and scared the shit out of me to know that this is one aspect of the life my dear sweet friend was facing.

To me, the only way that we can fight this nonsense is to educate those around us. This means that people need to get to know you, or Bree or the other wonderful women on this site. Those people who think of you as a chick with a dick or a freak do not deserve to know either you or Bree. THEY will be ones who loose out on getting to know two beautiful women...luscious on the outside and even beautiful still on the inside. I love Bree and I am PROUD to call you my friend.

Belle

[Doggie_Wood]

The mutha fucker that kills you will suffer the wrath of Super Dog :cowboy: - and altho it would not bring you back to me, the shithead would not breath or love or hate again - and I would plead temporary insanity for commiting the crime (retribution) out of passion.:eek:

Doggy :doggie:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

My Sweet Marie...Honey-girl, dont you know that you are loved and respected more than you'll ever know? I for one Love You for the Person that you are. I dont care if you were male, I dont care if you are Female..what I Care about is that you are my friend and I love and respect you dearly. You dont look down upon me because of my size, so why should I look down on you for any reason?
You are you, and that makes you unique unto the world, Babygirl. There is No Other like you, and there was no others like the ones who are now gone.
They were/are loved and were respected by all who knew and loved them too.
They were taken from us by ignorance and stupidity, by people whose minds werent open and enlightened like ours are. They wont be forgotten as long as people like us remember them, and remember what unique individuals they were...just like YOU are.
If you ever need me, all you have to do is pick up a phone, Sweet Baby. You know where I am.
Love you Darling :}
Your Cat.

[Doggie_Wood]

The mutha fucker that kills you will suffer the wrath of Super Dog :cowboy: - and altho it would not bring you back to me, the shithead would not breath or love or hate again - and I would plead temporary insanity for commiting the crime (retribution) out of passion.:eek:

Doggy :doggie:

When you only have 4 hours sleep in a 48 hour period, one writes some stange stuff.
Although the premis of the reply remains - I do in deed hope that nothing ever happens to my sweet :angel: Marie.:love1:
But if it sould come to pass (Lord forbid!), Read the above quote :soapbox:

[Doggie_Wood]

Typical.

Honestly I understand, its not the funnest thing to think about. Its so much more fun to think about what you'd do with me, cause after all I am just a piece of meat here for you to lay your fantasies on..........

But whatever, I am just another tranny to most of you. A convienent Chick with a dick, a shemale, wow look at that freak man!

A thrill to think about , but when shes gone, who cares? She was just a pain in the ass anyways. Always talking about things that made us sad. God knows we cant be sad. Hey, who needs kleenex when I have you?


And to think people think Bisexuals are shallow! Gee, really?

Ohh, my dear Marie - some could and may think like that ....... but I would hope that you would never think of me in that catagory.
I feel so helpless in this time of your despair (or is it despair?).
I want love to hold you in my arms and comfort you. Help melt away you fears and anxioties. To calm your troubled thoughts.To kiss you and speak softly and sweetly to you. And to cause you to be at ease.

Know that I love you and want you.
You are my soul mate.

JD - Doggy :doggie:

[texasman6172003]

When you only have 4 hours sleep in a 48 hour period, one writes some stange stuff.
Although the premis of the reply remains - I do in deed hope that nothing ever happens to my sweet :angel: Marie.:love1:
But if it sould come to pass (Lord forbid!), Read the above quote :soapbox:
Hey Dog,Well i guess you would be 1st in line. But i would be right behind you with my Trusty 12 Gauge in case you missed somehow.But somehow i do not think you would miss.. And Marie,Coming from one of us that has known you for awhile,we love you dearly. You are a very special Lady too all of us that know you....:bigrin:

[chulainn2]

Oh I see how you are now, Dog and Tex go out hunting and don't bother to invite the other Texan.

[MarieDelta]

[warriors]
©2001 Alix Olson.


The paper called me a warrior.
a bad girl. a bad example.
The paper said I smile big,
but I curse too much.
and it’s true. I do
Feel like a warrior just for making it through the day, sometimes
I feel like a fighter. Cause I fight
to keep the fighting away and, sometimes,
Walking down the street is a scientific experiment.
your body laid out, splayed out, just for them
to tamper with it.
But you know, I think it’s those with the scalpels
who are really the rats
They want to dissect your ass cause your brain won’t hold still for them
Under that slide marked:
‘split and fill with bullshit’.
Y’know, my ass don’t fit under that glass
And my brain moves way too fast for that.
Cause if this is a movement we’re making,
we have got to get moving
In this crazy maze we’ve been handed, we’ve got to quit losing ourselves.
We gotta use our big fat mouths to talk,
We gotta use our big thick thighs to walk.
We got to follow those who choose
a different way to knock,
Those who banged with persistence
like the Audre Lordes, the Barbara Lees,
the Leslie Feinbergs, the June Jordans of my existence,
Who chose a different way to walk,
took a chance, didn’t prance, tiptoe,
twirl though this world.
You see, I refuse to slide past
Even if it means coming in last.
I’m gonna stomp and rage and kick,

talk hard, think thick,
Y’know, it don’t take a dick to have balls,
it don’t take balls to knock down the walls
Of this cheap joint.
You know, the point’s hard to find with all these
ground down passions.
But we’ve got a chance if we sharpen our visions
with our voices.
It’s a choice to make noise, it’s hard to be heard
They’ll toss you a muzzle wherever you go.
But baby, it’s the waves that let you know
the ocean’s alive.
So, we’ve gotta go deep.
Down past where your daddy found your key,
unlocked your knees
And took control
Past where your brother cruised your borders
like some kind of nightguard patrol,
Past where the babysitter stuck a pencil up inside you.
So many ways they get you to hide you
From the world, girl,
We gotta go deep
We gotta use our black and blues like a second skin,
Let our bruises thicken,
Then begin again.
We gotta get up when we’re pushed to the ground,
They aint gonna hear us if we’re screaming face down.
We gotta rise to double the size of our sound.
You know warriors are better
the second time around.

[Doggie_Wood]

Oh I see how you are now, Dog and Tex go out hunting and don't bother to invite the other Texan.

Chu - if Tex and I go a huntin, you are invited to go too.
However, with my 22-XLR with scope and an empty 1 litre plastic bottle taped to the end of it - no one will hear a thing and the asswipe won't know what hit him.

Glad to see ya back chu - thanks for a memorable time.

:doggie:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Put me right beside you, Gentlemen. Nothing more vicious than a pissed off Cougar or a riled Cherokee...lol.
We all love Marie, and would have her back in a heartbeat. :}
Everybodys Cat

[MarieDelta]

Now Lady and Gentlemen, there will be no need to be puttin yourself in harms way, no need to be killing anyone. For one thing the a.w. wouldnt deserve to be killed by you. Nor would I be happy to look down and see you all locked up somewhere. In addition I am much more careful about my person.

OK?

I appreciate the love guys I really really do.

***big huge kisses and hugs to all of you***

I love you back so very much

[onewhocares]

Hey Dog,Well i guess you would be 1st in line. But i would be right behind you with my Trusty 12 Gauge in case you missed somehow.But somehow i do not think you would miss.. And Marie,Coming from one of us that has known you for awhile,we love you dearly. You are a very special Lady too all of us that know you....:bigrin:

Well Miss Marie....I do declare that your merry Little Ban of Warriors are forming....Two totten Texan, an Native American Cat whose way I would never want have to cross when her hair is one end and now one really tall blonde from Boston who looks like a full back for the Jets and could take out the whole defensive line of the "You touch Marie" and there will be group a mile long which you shall have to deal with.

I know it is not always easy to live with other peoples ignorance......but you know deep with in your heart you are SO loved and admired.....Not many of us here can say that.

Belle

[vittoria]

The blissfully ignorant walk among us. There are even those who, unfortunately, prevade this wonderful site (believe me I know... and they persist WITHOUT LET UP!!)

You are definitely loved, MD. You are kind, caring, sincere, and you have a vivacious character about you.

It's sad and a damn shame that people refuse to see how "the other side lives". We, as members of this site, just as those in the transgendered sector of the LGBT community, are humans with thoughts, feelings, emotions, hopes, fears, and pain. It is quite unfortunate and scary that you have to deal with such rancor from the outside world. People dont realize how much others have to go through in their day to day lives just for being themselves--whether its being called atrocious names on the street (or even on this site), having their lives threatened, their jobs at risk.

You are more than just words on a page, more than a chosen screen name. You are a living breathing example of courage in the face of adversity. And you are loved.

Illegitimati Non Carborundum... V

[MissyMissy]

marie i love you and always have. i know some dont get me but i see a woman and always have.
maybe it is weird to others that i see you as you were always meant to be in the first place. but it is not weird for me. i dont love your for your cock. i love you because of all of you.
a person is like a painting. a lot of different colors some blended and you cannot tell which starts where, but those colors make a whole picture. and then you look at that picture close, then far away, upside down, from behind and so on and you eventually see how it all comes together.
love missy missy

[_Joe_]

Now Lady and Gentlemen, there will be no need to be puttin yourself in harms way, no need to be killing anyone.


Great, now what do I do with this pointy stick ?!

[MarieDelta]

Great, now what do I do with this pointy stick ?!

Toothpick???:bigrin:

[_Joe_]

I got your toothpick right here!

[MarieDelta]

I got your toothpick right here!

Is that what that is? Its about the right size... :eek::tong:

[MarieDelta]

Another transwoman shot in Nashville, TN (article (http://blogs.nashvillescene.com/pitw/2009/01/memphis_streets_claim_the_life.php))

That make two so far in the last three months.

Disgusting and sad. :(

[alegrias]

OMG, Marie. I had no idea. Thanks for enlightening me.

[rainbowmonk]

Dear dear Marie,

I'm with the other guys on the Omatra thing... in other words the our thing our way thing. To put it better I think I speak for all of us... tells us how we can hepl and we will be there dear sis. You are a big part of our lives and when you hurt so do we.

Lead on girl
Monk

[MarieDelta]

The problem is that its just so huge a problem...

These women they arent able to do other things for a variety of reasons.

Many of these girls are homeless at an early age due to variant gender expresion. Therefore they are unable to complete HS (which leads them to work as prostitutes (HIV/Aids is also rampant in the community for a variety of reasons.)

Some of these women arent able to find other jobs for a variety of other reasons - unable to "pass" , lack of work history under their current gender ID/name ID and just plain prejudice.

What can you do? Anything, really. The problem is so huge that anything you do will help.

Call your congress/ senate critter next time a bill like ENDA comes before them. Tell them they need to include gender expression in any bill that protects work status.

Vote for queer positive politicians, ones that know that we ned to protect the weakest among us.

Speak out / show up at events like Day Of Rememberance (if there is one near you) or go to PFLAG and speak up about transgender inclusion in queer organizations.

Or just plain donate to AIDs relief.

Or something else, like I said the problem is systemic there are many solutions, we just need people to speak out (or do grunt work) , let them know that Transgender people arent objects to be used and discarded. To know that their gender expresion is NOT a choice. Like being bi/lesbian/gay(or straight) its hardwired. Unlike those it isnt always easily hidden.

I love you guys, you may never know how much you've touched me with your words.

Take care,

Marie

[MarieDelta]

That's total BS. They'd be charged with murder/homicide.

I find it odd and fucked up that people are suggesting even more violence, hatred, and killing to those that do hate crimes.:rolleyes:


Not always

They're let off because of homophobia.

Many are charged with manslaughter with cause. The cause being that they thought they were having sex with a "man." The so-called gay panic defense.

Juries in the past have been sypathetic with this plea and have typically let the offenders off with minimal punishment (6 years for killing a transwoman in one case.)

In some cases / countries its against the law to transexual (turkey) and there is no punishment for killing a transwoman.

In other places the surgical remedies for gender identity disorder are illegal (India) and the transgender women there have resorted to homemade surgery (castration) which often costs their lives.

Yes I know I blew things out of proportion , a bit, but that is how it feels.

1/12th of all transpeople , 1/8th of transpeople of color , thats how many are killed.

[Bluebiyou]

Marie,
it would be irresponsible of me to not respond.
The latest attempt on my life was just two months ago.
While at work, my rear axle securing bolt was loosened as well as several other critical bolts both front and rear.
I have gone blind from poison, but my sight returned.
Company,
Lawyers,
law enforcement,
even somewhat caring coworkers...
try to displace
to distance,
to rationalize,
... this is all part of being human (I'm convinced).
There is a great compelling on my part for vigilante justice. A bullet in the head for each of the compromised (not to mention the guilty!!!)
Yet, these are lesser folks.
I am leading the way up. I cannot compromise myself and become one of them!
Marie,
our way is tough. There's been more than one attempt on my life. If I become a murderer like them then I have failed in life.
This is the hard part about choosing the higher road.
Vittoria should be able to teach us many lessons about this.

[Bluebiyou]

So why not tell the police, law enforcement, or get a lawyer and go to court?

There clearly is a language barrier. I HAVE told... shown (the sabotage) to all..
police... will not (refuse) make a report
law enforcement... won't
lawyer... they're not interested, I've spoken with several...
go to court? Sure... you're filing suit against (the most corrupt and arrogant company in the usa) us? You're fired and black listed.

[PearlGirl]

"But I (and I guess here is my mistake) see the Bisexual community and the Transgender community as allies in the same way that the Gay and Lesbians are allies.

Our interests may not always coincide, nor do we always want to hang out together, but politically our interests are very much in common."

It's NOT your mistake, Marie! I agree that bi and trans folks are natural allies politically. You are correct IMHO don't give up that hope. It's too important for our movement.

XXXXXXOOOOOOO

[PearlGirl]

Quote from Transgender Legal Struggles Thread: "Again, i do understand that you did not mean it that way or even PearlGirl who stated “Bi-s and Trannies both challenge traditional polarized views” which is somewhat of a derogatory term in and of itself....”Trannies” that is." -Danielle_Tremblay

Quote from Transgender Legal Struggles Thread: "In his mind we are all “it” and “that thing” or “that tranny.”" -MarieDelta

First off I want to apologize to Danielle and Marie if my usage of the word “trannie” or “tranny” was derogatory or offensive. That was certainly not my intent in any way. I will stop using this term entirely now that I have been made aware that it might be seen as offensive to some in our community.
I have never before heard that the term could be offensive but I did grow up in a gay neighborhood and then moved to San Francisco so perhaps I have just been living in a bubble. Out here on the West Coast it’s common for many transsexuals that I know to refer to themselves as “trannies” and for many younger gay bi or pan people to refer to themselves as “queer” (although some older gay/bi folks have said they find the term queer offensive.) We even have a bar called “Tranny Shack” in SF that has been voted Best Transsexual Club by our local paper for the past five years. Thanks for schooling me Danielle.
There is a link to their website here if folks are interested at: http://www.trannyshack.com/ I'm also sorry for any weird formatting on this post.

Now that I’ve made my apologies I would like to address Scott’s comments both in several threads and in the p.m. he sent me.

1) “Why should I care about Transsexuals? I fail to see the reasons at all and their needs don’t concern me just like our needs don’t concern them.”

IMHO it is smart strategy as we work towards social change to avoid trap of weighing and measuring oppression. Underneath it all we all want the same things. We want respect, understanding, we want a voice, we want equality and we want to be safe. Transexual people deserve this as much as all human beings do.

2) "Ask any gays/lesbians, and most bisexuals and they’ll tell you the exact same thing."

There are many gay, lesbian, bi, straight and queer people who are allies for transgender rights. I personally know of many here in the Bay Area. How about straight members of PFLAG nationwide? And the fact that GLBT includes the “T” should be enough evidence that most people in the queer community care about transgender issues.

3) "Straight people don’t care either, and it’s hard enough to get them on our side when it comes to Gay/lesbian/bisexual issues."

As someone who has worked as a full-time activist for social justice I can tell you that the past of least resistance is never a vision for true change in society. I heard a similar argument as a union organizer at times from certain workers. One higher paid group (engineers for example) would say, “Why should we organize ourselves into the same union as housekeepers? Why can’t we just organize ourselves into a union of just engineers?” While, it’s true that one union of just engineers (a small component of the total industrial workforce) could organize and win some small concessions from an employer history has shown time and time again that the biggest gains for workers have happened when ALL workers in an industry have organized themselves together to take on the employers.

The same is true for GLBTQ folks IMO. There is power and strength in numbers and unity. From your argument ne would have to wonder why one should include bisexuals in the movement, or lesbians for that matter? Or why should more affluent white gay males include low income gay males or people of color?

Bisexuals have had to lobby hard for the inclusion of the B in L & G pride marches, conferences, and media with many successes and some failures. In 1990 in Northampton, Massachusetts some in the lesbian community successfully lobbied to have the B removed from the title of the Lesbian, Bisexual and Gay Pride march and to remove out bisexuals from the steering committee even though out bisexuals had been active on the steering committee for five years. Transgender hadn’t even made it into the title of the march yet. I’d be careful who you want to exclude, Scott. You may very well be the next one to go!

Also what about bisexual transgendered people? Should we include only the Bisexual tansgendered folks in your vision of a movement and exclude monosexual trans folk or should bisexual trans people be excluded based on their transgenderism rather than their bisexuality?

How would these decisions be reached?

4) "Sorry the T should not be in with GLB since the T is all about someone’s gender and not their sexuality."

Many transgendered people are marginalized for violating traditional societal gender roles.

Many bisexual people are marginalized for challenging the necessity of basing sexual orientation on gender divisions.

Bisexual and transgendered people both tend to challenge traditional polarized views on gender in this society in radical ways.

Bisexual transgendered people challenge gender in both of the ways mentioned above.

Many transpeople are starting to challenge bisexuals on the idea that there are only two distinct genders at all. As Kate Bornstein says: “In the majority of cultures in the world, the socially acceptable, easy way to define one’s sexual preference or orientation depends on the gender identity of our sexual partners. To make things worse, the gender identity we’re attracted to must also be phrased in terms of men and women. We’re attracted to men or women or both; that’s the sum total of our desire. So, sex (the act) becomes hopelessly linked to gender (the category).

And what about sexual attraction? That’s linked to gender attribution. First we attribute a gender, then we decide if we want to be attracted to that person; but the first filter is almost always “Is that person the right gender for me, sexually and romantically?”

Finally, what we enjoy doing sexually, the sex act itself often involves a specific sort of genital play, and as genitals have been gendered in this culture, so sex has become gendered.”

“No wonder people want to use the term “sex” for both the identity (gender) and the act (sex). The two have become interdependent. In terms of our sexual desires and our gender identities we’ve opted for the easy way out, the “everybody knows it’s this way” solution. “Everyone knows the way I define my desire is by the gender of my partner.

Personally, I can’t buy that. If the world’s great thinkers have taught us anything, it’s that we rarely achieve personal fulfillment by mindlessly wandering through life, taking the path of least resistance and little or no responsibility for our actions. We need to question our assumptions about sex and gender, if we’re going to understand that aspect of ourselves and others.”

Hmmm…starting to see any similarities between bi and trans folks here?

5) "Thankfully my boyfriend and I are in a state where we can get married legally and we’re much more concerned about the rights and well being of gay/lesbian/bisexual people.

Most of us GLB people don’t care about Trans people. You said so yourself Marie."

I’m very happy that you live in a state where you can legally marry your boyfriend. Again in the marriage debate gender is often the bone of contention over who is allowed to marry in this society and who is not. The very same dualistic definitions of gender, identity and desire that bisexual and transgendered folks challenge most.

6) "Also do not try to mention Stonewall because that happened 40 years ago, it’s not relevant to today at all, and nobody cares about the very few trans people who may or may not have been present there and yet claim that they were there when they were not.

Sorry Stonewall always has and always will be a concept for homosexual revolution in NYC!"

Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it’s mistakes. Not sure what the comment about whether or not a significant number of transgendered people were present at Stonewall. It seems quite well documented that a significant number of transgendered people were protesting at Stonewall.

Also it is quite interesting to note that three years before the famous rioting at New York’s Stonewall Inn often billed as the first time gays rose up against police harassment, there was a riot in San Francisco at Gene Compton’s Cafeteria . Folks can find out more about this at:
http://www.comptonscafeteriariot.org/. And by checking out the
documentary “Screaming Queens” according to the website: “In the
streets of the Tenderloin, at Turk and Taylor on a hot August night in
1966, Gays rose up angry at the constant police harassment of the
drag-queens by the police. It had to be the first ever recorded violence
by Gays against police anywhere.”

Transgendered people have much to contribute to helping to breakdown
gender barriers and misconceptions within the bisexual community itself. We are both newly included in the GLBTQ pantheon and can help each other to gain greater inclusion and acceptance both within and outside of the queer community. As Kory Martin-Damon says: “If the bisexual community turns it’s back on transsexuals, it is essentially turning it’s back on itself. For in the singling out of any one group as undesirable, it is adhering to the old patriarchal idiom of “we” and “they,” thus nullifying its purpose by asserting that only some life choices are valid. The inclusion of transgendered people can only empower any movement (such as the bisexual movement) that seeks to bring about changes in social mores and gender norms. No other group of people has broken so many gender rules and barriers, or redefined so many gender roles.” I hope this explains my position on transgender rights and why I’m an ally for you, Scott.

In case it does not I will include the following article from: http://www.margaretrobinson.com/journalism/other/bisexual_transactions.html by Margaret Robinson.

Bisexual TransActions

What do Transsexual and Transgender have to do with Bisexuality?

This article appeared in a zine I made for Pride Week 2002, called Bi Dyke.

Remember musical chairs? There's a circle of chairs and the music starts and we all run around the circle. The music stops and everyone darts for a chair. But it's a trick, because there's not enough chairs for everyone. Lately I'm feeling trapped in this game. There's only three seats, and gay and lesbian already have two of them. Trans and bi stand staring at each other and at that last empty chair....

I'm not transsexual, and I don't identify as transgender, so I can't speak from that experience. I write from a long-held feminist position that gender is a social construction, and trans theory doesn't always fit my political landscape. That said, I'm strongly against the type of politics that quotes lines from Janice Raymond's Transsexual Empire at people before kicking them out of women's groups, shelters, or rape crisis centres.

Even if I don't always understand trans theory, I understand trans activism and the experience of being excluded. I've seen the same types of things said about bisexuals get used against transmen and transwomen. I've heard people claim that including trans in their group title will "confuse" people, or "distract from the [real, more important] issues." In light of the similarity between our exclusion from gay and lesbian community, transsexuals and transgendered people are our natural allies.

There's just enough space (or so it's claimed) on banners, logos, and newspaper headings for three words: a holy trinity of sexual diversity. Increasingly, I've seen people use "gay, lesbian and trans." (See, for example "Pride's Naked Truth," in Xtra, pg. 9, no. 461, June 27, 2002). I admit, it makes me resentful, and angry. But the appropriate target for those feelings isn't the trans community. It's the people who pretend there's only so much liberation to go around, and who would have us fight our trans allies for that last coveted spot.

By agreeing to fight for third place we lose a lot. Many transfolk are supportive of bi inclusion. Many are also part of the bi community as activists, organizers and participants. There's no clear-cut line between us and them, men and women, masculine and feminine. Trans perspectives can help us define what we really mean by bisexuality in a world that is revealed to be multi-sexed and multi-gendered. They challenge us to practice the type of inclusion we usually demand.

To return to the metaphor of musical chairs, I think that playing by these rules is a mistake in the long run. Because every round they remove another chair, until there's just one kid left sitting.


Copyright © 2006 by Margaret Robinson.

[TaylorMade]

Sorry why should I care about Transsexuals? I fail to see the reasons at all and their needs don't concern me just like our needs don't concern them.

Ask any gays/lesbians, and most bisexuals and they'll tell you the exact same thing.

Straight people don't care either, and it's hard enough to get them on our side when it comes to Gay/lesbian/bisexual issues.

Sorry the T should not be in with GLB since the T is all about someone's gender and not their sexuality.

Thankfully my boyfriend and I are in a state where we can get married legally and we're much more concerned about the rights and well being of gay/lesbian/bisexual people.

Most of us GLB people don't care about Trans people. You said so yourself Marie.

Also do not try to mention Stonewall because that happened 40 years ago, it's not relavent to today at all, and nobody cares about the very few trans people who may or may not have been present there and yet claim that they were there when they were not.

Sorry Stonewall always has and always will be a concept for homosexual revolution in NYC!

Hmmm. . .so nice you had to say it twice?

/sarcasm

*Taylor*

[MarieDelta]

PearlGirl,

First off, I am happy / excited to meet you as a fellow activist.

Some trans folk are more touchy about the "tranny" thing, I myself am not especially when used by another transgendered person, or an ally. In the same way that a gay man may not be offended by someone calling him a "fag." The intent matters more than the words sometimes. Some members of our community have been attempting to recover certain words Ethan St. Pierre's Podcast "The Radical Tranny" being one such example. Whether "recovering" language works, I dont know.


Very good post, well done. Thank you.

[PearlGirl]

Thanks, Marie! I get you on the reclaiming idea. It should help take a bit of the sting out some of those nasty words that get hurled at anyone different. Still, my rule is if you aren't in the group referred to don't use the term. Ex. I call myself queer but take feel offended when a str8 person uses the term.

I'm just glad to know the term could be offensive esp. since I'm having lunch w/a bi-trans friend of my bf later this week who I've only met once. She and my bf have become very close friends recently and the last thing I would need 2 do while meeting her (for only the second time) is offend her by sticking my foot in my mouth! That could be a quick way to make a bad impression on someone who has become such a close friend and a big part of bf's support network.:eek:

I look forward to more discussions with you, Marie! :nrrdgrrl:

[csrakate]

Marie is a very kind and patient teacher and I for one have learned so very much from her. She knows when someone means well and will never hesitate to appreciate the intention before ranting over the unintentional mistake. If only we could all embrace that attitude in our efforts to enact change!!!

Hugs,
Kate

[bisocialnudist]

Marie it is very important that we all get reminded how important it is that we extend what we learn as bisexuals to others. Now that I am out as a bisexual I am much more aware of the problems of stereotypes, misunderstanding and just plain hatred. I also have a frustration that people dont understand my inner feminine side I happen to enjoy having a male body but the inner women in me is very frustrated. I will now speak out and try and educate anyone around me who says anything negative about any part of the GLBT community. and thanks to your post Ill make an extra effort to make sure I dont let negative comments about transgendered individuals slide. Im ashamed to say that in the past my desire to remain in the closet has stopped me from speaking out. Never again. It starts with each and everyone of us to spread understanding.

So this thread did/does help.
Thanks Mark

[MarieDelta]

Dear dear Marie,

I'm with the other guys on the Omatra thing... in other words the our thing our way thing. To put it better I think I speak for all of us... tells us how we can hepl and we will be there dear sis. You are a big part of our lives and when you hurt so do we.

Lead on girl
Monk

Ok so I put my thiniking cap on and here's what I came up with:

From the NCTE (Natl Center for Transgender Equality)


52 Things You Can Do for Transgender Equality

#1: Take a Trans Person to Lunch
#2: Ask your library to carry books that deal positively with trans people
#3: Attend an anti-racism training and put into practice what you learn
#4: Run for Office
#5: Invite your mayor or other elected official to address a trans group or town meeting
#6: Plan an Art Show of Works by Trans Artists
#7: Create and publicize a calendar of local events and encourage people to attend them
#8: Start an online community or a blog that deals with an issue that is important to you
#9: Change the Policy of an Organization You Belong To
#10: Donate money to an organization providing direct services for transgender people
#11: Hold a workshop on how to effectively advocate for yourself when seeking medical care or therapy
#12: Ask Your Local Film Festival to Show Trans Themed Movies and then Go See Them
#13: Support the Day of Silence
#14: Preach or speak at a local community of faith, such as a synagogue, church or mosque
#15: Adopt a Highway
#16: Hold a Trans Pride event in your community
#17: March as a trans contingent in the Gay Pride Parade
#18: Educate a local homeless shelter about how to be trans inclusive
#19: Pass a non-discrimination ordinance in your community
#20: Visit the offices of your congressional representative and educate them about trans issues
#21: Start a local support or education group
#22: Volunteer with an LGBT Advocacy group
#23: Start a Speakers' Bureau
#24: Break a Gender Rule
#25: Make a Restroom More Accessible to Trans People
#26: Locate Support Services
#27: Collaborate with another group on a community project or social event.
#28: Work to Pass a Nondiscrimination Policy at Your Workplace
#29: Connect with PFLAG!
#30 Write a regular column for a publication
#31: Plan to Come out on National Coming Out Day on October 11
#32: Register New Voters!
#33: Fund Scholarships!
#34: Programs for Youth
#36 Get involved in the political process: Volunteer for a Candidate
#37 Plan and conduct a Day of Remembrance event
#38 Support or create a radio show or podcast
#39 Hold a House Party for NCTE or another trans organization
#40 Make Jails Safer for Trans People
#41 Hold a Job Fair
#42 Support a Drag Community Event
#43 Engage Media Coverage of Transgender Issues
#44 Conduct a Community Needs Assessment
#45 Vote!
#46 Start a discussion group on gender related books
#47 Respond to Alerts from Other Organizations
#48 Collect and share stories of discrimination
#49 Set up a training in a hospital, nursing or medical school
#50 Write an op-ed
#51 Help an LGBT organization become more transgender friendly
#52 Make a New Year's Resolution for Transgender Equality

Youcan even print out a free poster(52 thingshttp://www.nctequality.org/52things.asp)

Marie (who is always available for lunch :tongue:)