Underage trolls

[alegrias]

I wanted to warn people, especially those that go to the chat room, watch out for underage trolls. I started a conversation with a girl last night. She didn't have a profile so I asked her her age. She told me 17. :eek:

When I told her that she didn't belong here, she tried to argue with me. I told everyone in the Main Room her age and then I reported her to Drew.

My advice, if you start to have a private chat with someone who doesn't have a profile, ask them their age FIRST. Glad I did.

[trubipoly]

if you are not talking about sex with them I dont see the problem with it. if they are trying to understand thier sexuality and you dont get into the actual sex part (descriptive) and yo let them know you wont get into talking about actual sex then i see no problem with it. when you are trying to understand your feeling at that age you need someone to talk to I think.

[curious44]

trubipoly, that's a nice warm fuzzy attitude to take but I'm much more cynical than that. Alegrias is right, stay away from the jail bait. You have to assume that anybody openly admitting to be underage is likely a cyber cop trying to entrap you. It could be possible some kid is on the site "looking to learn". Well, they'll just have to wait until they're legal as far as I'm concerned. I guess for the time being they'll have to get experience in the back of a Pontiac, same as many of us.

[trubipoly]

i guess since being bisexual to me is not only about sex I see it different but do see your point a little. as far as them telling you they are underage openly, that s a good thing so you dont take the wrong path in your discussion. as far a being a cop and being entrapped , they told you they are underage and you shouldnt have any problems not crossing that line to have to worry about anything. but then some can not make the distinction between right and wrong so they could become targets too.. so I understand your concern too.

[darkeyes]

Cudn do that... not sayin yas rong in terms a the rules a the site.. legal age a consent 'ere in the UK is 16.. an reely don think we shud b denyin peeps access..its an ole story an has been discussed before...me knos wy the rules say 18 but hav nev agreed wiv em.. several membas who r now of age me knos wernt wen me 1st got 2 kno em... an 1 admitted 2 me a wile afta she became of age she wos well unda 18 wen she joined... wud nev dream a dobbin sum 1 in an gettin em banned if me found out they wer 16 or 17..yunga... mayb...like 12 or 13.. but me knew me wos bi at that age... so its not so easy cos kids hav probs wiv ther sexuality an all...worse for em in many ways than adults... but if we havta hav a cut off point..18 is jus far 2 old...but lowerin it 2 the age a consent a wicheva country ya livs causes its own probs.. sum countries homosexuality is illegal completely..do we ban them an all?? Cos by jus existin..the site is a beacon 2 all that they r not alone..an by definition is an encouragement 2 those who r breakin the law 2 carry on..an in the case a .com.. quite rite an all...

[Metzli]

:rolleyes: Personally i think that asking someones age is a prudent measure but aslong as you dont go to far i dont see the harm in say 15-17 yr olds i mean i for one was very confused at that age and i didnt have anyone to talk to i think it probably would have helped.
Im sure many of you have had similar or same experiences growing up, In the Uk theres plenty of organizations that you can turn to for help or advice but i dont think theres many teenagers who would walk into one of them and openly admit to a stranger something they might not even have admited to their parents or friends yet.
I think it helps to talk to people who understand you and have had similar experiences in life. :cool:

[mrplayfuluk]

I'm with Dark Eyes for all the reason she said. 16 is legal in UK and by then i knew I was erm different... so as long as you don't indulge in cybersex with them there is nothing wrong being done. Advice is a good thing and I would like to think this site has no boundaries. What is the age of consent in Canada for example? if it was 18 then maybe its worth explaining to someone 15-17 that the site is governed by Canadian law, so they should be careful what they discuss....:2cents:

[csrakate]

I have said this before and still believe it today...whenever you have underage chatters and sex in the mix together, you are asking for trouble. While I completely understand that they may have some questions and personal doubts about themselves at that age, I still contend that no one on this site is qualified to give advice based on their personal experience. A person's sexual quest needs to be on their own time and in their own way and should NOT be influenced by the comments or influences of others, however well intentioned. A person at that age can be anything from sexually curious to sexually confused and it is not up to a well intentioned adult to help them decide which it is. Not to mention that a parent, should they discover that their child received such advice, might have a great deal of difficulty allowing such a thing without wanting to lash out at the site and/or the chatters that were involved.

For the sake of the chatters on this site and our safety from such situations, not to mention the legal ramifications it may cause the site as a whole, Drew has insisted on a minimum age of 18 to participate on this site. I think it would be a good policy for each and everyone of us to adhere to this rule and to discourage chatters who are underage.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I think we've had Several lately. I personally am not too comfortable talking to under-aged chatters. It can open up a wholllee can of legal worms, and that's something the site does Not need. I know curiousity must be satisfied, and that's why there are sites of younger people to join, so that they can talk to their peers. Sometimes kids need to talk to adults, and it greatly depends on to what extent the conversation gets and that's where I draw the line.
As long as young people come in and conduct themselves like the adults they are Suppose to be, then its ok, and I know several here that are terriffic people, but there are some that have been nothing but trouble makers; or those that Like stirring up trouble.
Hopefully they'll grow tired and get a grip.
Cat

[trubipoly]

well I am not here to police the site for anyone else nor Do I tell someone of that age that what i believe is the only way nor try and make thier minds up for them. I do believe that talking with others that have been in the same or similar position helps you to make decisions. . with that said to each thier own. My teenage daughter who is Bi and her bi/gay friends appreciate having someone to talk to unlike when I grew up.

[csrakate]

It's hard enough to be a parent but that struggle is increased when you have to combat those who assume the mantle of "cool parent" and choose to dispense advice to your kids. Boundaries between parent and child are not only normal, they are necessary and for another adult parent to usurp that role is not only inconsiderate, it is irresponsible.

[alegrias]

Part of my concern with this issue is that I am the mother of a 17 year old. I wouldn't want him coming here for information. There are other places that are more appropriate for him to go to for info.

[BareHunter45]

I agree with all here. It is nice to help someone, but the risk is too great. You never know who is really on the other end and having to explain yourslef to a judge or court, or even the parents of the child should they find out you're talkingto them would be very difficult.

It is a sad commentary on this society when we have to act this way. I love to fly fish and one day there was a young boy at the stream (he said he was 11)...all alone...that came up to us and like most fisherman, asked how they were biting and what we were using for flies. He was epecially interested and we shared a few flies that we tie ourselves with him and helped explained what we were doing and why. He asked when we fished again so that he could meet us there, and maybe call us when he was fishing. We had to tell him that we were not sure when we would fish again, and we would have to meet him when it happened. We did not feel comfortable developing a relationship with a child even though his love for fishing was admarible and we would have loved to have taken him under our wing and try to teach him how to fish. He bought the flyrod with his own money. Sad, but we did not feel comfortable.

I felt guilty too because I have been lucky in my life when a number of people took interest in me when I was young and I pledged to do the same for others.


Bill

[orpheus_lost]

I agree that it would be helpful to a 16yo to be able to discuss their situation with older people but in the U.S. it's not that simple. The puritan police are always out there trying to nab another 'predator' because that gets them noticed. Don't believe the commercials, this really isn't the land of the free. Many in the GLBT community live in constant fear that the guy next to us at the urinal is an undercover cop or that the 17yo kid who needs help is really a 50yo member of the vice squad angling for a promotion.

I know there are a lot of really sick pervs out there who want nothing more than to molest children but in this country they've taken things too far and we're all at risk if we don't use extreme precaution.

[boca.openminded]

wow what a mixed of opinions..

might as well put my 2 cents in

I say list their names and enter at your own risk.

There are some very very intelligent people on this site. Don't you want to pass some of your wisdom?

Maybe they are only looking for someone to speak to and share what they are feeling. If that is the case then yes they should be allowed to participate on this site.

But if they are acting like assholes, talking smack, engaging in cybersex, or trying to be someone that they are not then they should be booted..

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Looking for life answers is one thing, but like someone said, you dont know Who is on the other end of the questions and a person could be incriminated for contributing to the delinquence if a pissed off puritanical parent got the wrong info, and ideas if they came across this site on their computer. Sharing a wealth of information is a wonderful thing, but I'm not at ease talking to somebody elses kid about Bi-Sexuality.

How do you know you arent talking to a parent, and they are building a case? They could be making leading conversations to bust someone ass, and that could be disasterous for this site.
But, we're straying from the origins of the post. My thesis was the rude, nasty people, and others have noticed it as well. If someone conducts themselves with tact and manners, then they will be well recieved with friendship and welcomed into the fold. If not, then they deserve to be placed on ignore like unruly little kids. And that's unfortunate, for they may miss a friend for life...:}
Cat

[trubipoly]

hmm seems again we look for the worst in people...

[TaylorMade]

All it takes is one overzealous and motivated parent.

*Taylor*

[orpheus_lost]

hmm seems again we look for the worst in people...

This isn't about looking for the worst in people, tru, it's about the need to keep safe in a puritanical environment. The United States just isn't a good place to try helping those under 18 right now. There is an active program to entrap sexual predators in this country and it has gotten out of control. Hell, we even have prime time TV shows that center around it. I mean, do what you want, but I can't fault anyone living here for not reaching out a helping hand when there's a good chance someone could put cuffs on it.

[darkeyes]

So we run scared huh?? R we or r we not past that?? Wudn dream a cybrin wiv a yung kid ne way but thats not the point... r they or r they not peeps we shud accept gladly inta our world.. not as luffers or things 2 b used by woteva sickos rr out ther.. but as equals an kindred spirits... as people...shud age play its part in denyin them acceptance?? Me don think so..an me for 1 won do it...

[vittoria]

IMHO...

These are the UnTIED States. There's a couple of screws loose in this plot of land, and I agree with the other posters who have declared this place as being Puritanical ( in almost EVERY sense of the word!!!). One cannot do ANYTHING here without it being construed( or MISconstrued) as some Mega-negatory thing or another. It is in the highest shrewdness and as a protector of our OWN behinds, to point the young ones in another direction to keep this site (and some of our dear friends on it) from being targets in an NBC/MSNBC "Dateline" investigation on teen sexuality and sexual predators. The last thing we need is a stereotype that bisexualism begins as some type of crap forced upon the young by adults who lead them into it!! This country has a problem with the topic of (dare I say it) 'SEX'. :eek: Think about it.. this place's mentality is that 'sex' a topic that parents dont discuss with children--leave it to the schools to do a half assed job (see the parody "Your Testicles And You" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukOaQLKjLyE)) with bullsh*t infofilms and vagueness. And as one person above mentioned, most in the past (like lets say the 1950s) and even the present, did/do all their 'larnin' about intercourse in the backseat of someones car at the drive in movie theatre or at "Lover's Point" at the top of some random hill with steamy windows or some such tripe. Its an unfortunate fact.

It would be nice if there was a viable outlet for youngsters to go for information, but in this time of accusation and news drama, theres no way in Hades that I would want to risk having my "mug" on 60 Minutes because of some "well intentioned conversation" with someone younger than 18 on this (or any other) site, getting grilled by Mike Wallace incarnates as to "what makes you think you have the right to encourage someone else's child to have sexual intercourse with someone of the same gender".

I mean really tho. Better safe than sorry.

Once again, IMHO.:cool:

[jamieknyc]

Cudn do that... not sayin yas rong in terms a the rules a the site.. legal age a consent 'ere in the UK is 16.. an reely don think we shud b denyin peeps access..its an ole story an has been discussed before...me knos wy the rules say 18 but hav nev agreed wiv em.. several membas who r now of age me knos wernt wen me 1st got 2 kno em... an 1 admitted 2 me a wile afta she became of age she wos well unda 18 wen she joined... wud nev dream a dobbin sum 1 in an gettin em banned if me found out they wer 16 or 17..yunga... mayb...like 12 or 13.. but me knew me wos bi at that age... so its not so easy cos kids hav probs wiv ther sexuality an all...worse for em in many ways than adults... but if we havta hav a cut off point..18 is jus far 2 old...but lowerin it 2 the age a consent a wicheva country ya livs causes its own probs.. sum countries homosexuality is illegal completely..do we ban them an all?? Cos by jus existin..the site is a beacon 2 all that they r not alone..an by definition is an encouragement 2 those who r breakin the law 2 carry on..an in the case a .com.. quite rite an all...

Whether you personally agree with something or not, it may be illegal and could get you into serious trouble. Don't go there.

[12voltman59]

We don't need the hassle of allowing anyone who is under age here--here in the good old US of A---there are many prosecutors who would salivate at locking up folks on here for even discussing sex at all with an underage person who is not their offspring--

You can go to PRISON for a very, very long time for doing that now it seems--at least I am sure some zealous and crusading prosecuting attorneys would love to be able to add to their list of things verbotten in this regard.

I am sure that some enterprising District Attorney would find a way to prosecute an adult who even talked to a non-related minor about sex and if you engage in cyber---WHOOAA NELLY!!! Your ass is grass, man!!

You might as well actually do the deed since you are a monster that needs to be locked up forever and if you get out of prison----you can't live anywhere since you would then be labled for life a "sexual predator"

In one state I had seen a story about their very restrictive rules--the state had put in pretty restrictive rules regarding where a sexual offender who molested children could live---the rules were such that they would have a hard time living in most towns and cities of the state---then the towns and cities put in their own rules going further that in some cases---effectively did ban any person from living in their boundaries who had "sexually molested" a minor---

The lawyer representing one such offender fighting to stay in yet one more place he was being forced to leave thanks to the ever increasingly restrictive rules basically said that he figured there were about a half dozen spots that sexual offenders in that state could actually live--but of course--those places were like under freeway underpasses and such--but then if the offenders are on parole-they have to have an actual address!!!

Once again--an example of how we have totally gone bonkers to one extreme!

Nope--we cannot allow minors to stay here--it is just too risky a thing and it is really not appropriate to be sure.

[darkeyes]

Since wen did disagreein wiv an unjust law..or summat wich is jus plain stupid becum illegal??? Fact is far as me can c..this site is set 2 tailor for the demands an sensitivities a the US an its laws wich seems 2 poke its nose in wer its not wonted ne wer it likes..no wer else... am not advocatin peeps do owt outside a the law a ther country... thats for them an ther conscience... am sayin we r deprivin thousands..mayb millions a yung peeps a access an help advice by peeps who hav been wer they r now..not seduction an sex.. by makin no allowance for them 2 b membas a this site.. undastand wy Drew has made the rules 'e has..jus don agree wiv 'em... ther is a strong case..if an age restriction hasta b set..for it 2 b lowered 2 16 in countries wer that is the legal age a consent... that as me has sed throws up probs of its own cos thats the trubble wiv arbitrary age limits... ther is also a case...certainly even more problematic an admittedly less strong for it 2 b open 2 all.. by arguin as me dus am breakin no law...not even a the USA... if me rong in that..then so much for so called democratic debate...laws wud neva change an so much for freedom a expression....:(

Drew 1ce sed this site is for entertainment an is not a social service..me disagrees wiv 'im on that an all... our lives can b entertainin..but they r not as such entertainment..nor r the lives a millions a gay an bi kids who no 1 is prepared 2 stand up for...

[curious44]

I'm sorry, but I just don't get all this making an issue of our sexual preferences. So I like to suk dick and take it up the ass as much as I like sex with women. Big deal. I like red meat and scotch too but I don't feel compelled to jamb it down the throat of the world or write my congressman about it. He probably doesn't give a shit either. Just do what you want to do and lighten up fer Crisakes!

[bret5668]

Fact of the matter remains, laws (whether one believes they are just or not) are put into place for specific reasons. People either follow them, or suffer the consequences of their actions, and do not whine about the penalties they must endure for their indiscretions.

[vittoria]

Since wen did disagreein wiv an unjust law..or summat wich is jus plain stupid becum illegal??? Fact is far as me can c..this site is set 2 tailor for the demands an sensitivities a the US an its laws wich seems 2 poke its nose in wer its not wonted ne wer it likes..no wer else... am not advocatin peeps do owt outside a the law a ther country... thats for them an ther conscience... am sayin we r deprivin thousands..mayb millions a yung peeps a access an help advice by peeps who hav been wer they r now..not seduction an sex.. by makin no allowance for them 2 b membas a this site.. undastand wy Drew has made the rules 'e has..jus don agree wiv 'em... ther is a strong case..if an age restriction hasta b set..for it 2 b lowered 2 16 in countries wer that is the legal age a consent... that as me has sed throws up probs of its own cos thats the trubble wiv arbitrary age limits... ther is also a case...certainly even more problematic an admittedly less strong for it 2 b open 2 all.. by arguin as me dus am breakin no law...not even a the USA... if me rong in that..then so much for so called democratic debate...laws wud neva change an so much for freedom a expression....:(

Drew 1ce sed this site is for entertainment an is not a social service..me disagrees wiv 'im on that an all... our lives can b entertainin..but they r not as such entertainment..nor r the lives a millions a gay an bi kids who no 1 is prepared 2 stand up for...

Frannie... I luvs ya... but here is somethin..

Apparently from what I've been readin in your particular country, the legal age is 16. Unfortunately the laws here ( in the US and Canada where this site has its most members and where this site is formed) dont deem it possible for anyone younger than 18 to visit here without "The Fed" accusing each and everyone of us as trying to solicit a minor. Its the truth. No one is saying you're wrong for your thoughts and feelings, but verily, the aforementioned is the after effects of when Brittain a couple hundred years ago kicked those Puritanical bastards out and tossed them here [ the topic of sex is verbotten, they wholesale slaughtered an entire race of people ( the Iroquois, the Cherokee, the Seminole and others), enslaved another race of people, now here we are a product of the past. Dammit I wish we could ship those f***wad Puritans back to the UK! LOL j/k]

"U*S*A! U*S*A!!" (Tongue FIRMLY in cheek!)

I dig what you're sayin, and I dont like it either... however, maybe if, since you're in a country where the age is different, and you apparently feel quite strongly about the unfairness of the US et al 's treatment of the younger LGBT community, you would perhaps create a site that would welcome them. You would be in a better position after all being in the UK for one, also considering theres OTHER countries like Australia where the legal age is 16.

:2cents:

[hudson9]

It is really sad (and sick, frankly) where we have come to in this country. What is really sick and dysfunctional, frankly, is to be soooooo damn scared of sex that we see "perverts" hiding in every scoutmaster, preschool teacher, or flyfisherman who takes an interest in a kid. These days (with an aggresive enough D.A.) you can get arrested for taking pictures of your kids in the bath. Not that pedophiles don't exist and we shouldn't teach our kids common sense or keep our eyes open -- but they're a hell of a lot less common than Dateline and tabloid TV would have us believe.

That said -- don't say or do anything in chat (or email!) with anyone claiming to be under 18 that you wouldn't want to see on "Dateline" (and DON'T assume you're anonymous here). I would remind them of the age rule of the sight, but to aggresively ban them or chew them out would likely only make someone who really is under 18 lie about their age next time, and maybe succeed in getting into something with another (unsuspecting) member that really IS inappropriate.

Maybe there should be a link on the front page (or wherever the age rule shows up) to an info/support sight that is designed for people under 18 -- that would both help them, and help protect us from overzealous homophobic anti-sex vigilantes.

[darkeyes]

Whinin Bret hun?? yea rite... if peeps didn "whine" wen things..includin laws r rong..wer wud we b?? If peeps didn fite for things they belive in an defy the law..wer wud we b? Over millenia a human progress peeps hav defied an fought for those things in wich they believe... thry hav argued an many hav surrendered the liberty an worse in defiance a opprssion an unjust an stupid law..if thats whinin..then me hun is a whiner..an am proud a it an all.. if peeps didn whine...within our world an alla human existence progress wudda stopped ..democracy neva thot of..an every gay an bi person on the planet wud b bak in the closet..

.. an turnin 2 V..least she put forward summat wich is at least constructive suggestion...an if me wos in a position or eva is in a position 2 do wot ya suggest V an had the time..then mayb me mite jus.. but askya this... shud we b further splittin up the gay an bi movement accross the planet?? A diff site for each country? A diff site for each age group? A diff site for each gender, each parta the LGBT movement? R we not split enuff? Me sexuality is only 1 parta me.. am much 2 involved in otha areas 2 concentrate entirely on that...Here we hav a ready made site wich covers all a humanity in theory.. long asya is ova 18 at least ..it wud take an immense effort 2 do it an make it truly a site for all..mayb the nature a the site wud havta change..prob wud...but wud that b a bad thing? The yung a the world r given no reel support wen it cums 2 sexuality.. the only thing they r told is thou shalt not... it is illegal... do as I say not as I do... they get stressed out cos no 1 lissens 2 them an ther probs... or who they r or wont 2 b...certainly not wen it cums 2 sexuality..they r seduced, used an abused by paedophiles an screwed up for ther entire lives.. they hav few avenues for gettin the help an advice they need 2 avoid the pitfalls wich kids will face... 2 stop that abuse an places 2 turn wer they can b truly helped 2 becum decent membas a society,, get decent protection from those who wud prey on ther naivety an use em for ther own means..course its a huge job...an this site aint perfect for it..children r vulnerable..an we shud all try an do our bit 2 stop that bein the case...

God knos its a huge question... an it has no easy ansas.. am not sayin we shud def turn .com inta the site me wud luff 2 c.. am sayin it is up 2 each an every 1 of us 2 try an ensure our children r raised wivout fear...an given the knowledge they need 2 becum who they reely r...an made aware enuff so that they can avoid the predatory adults who so often harm them... we all hav that responsibility..LGBT groups accross the world do ther bit as best they can..but in the end it is 2 legislators an the authorities we hav 2 force 2 c...wot we hav now aint workin.. an if we r 2 truly protect our children...forcin them apart from society at large dus them no favours an in time perpetuates wot we hav now... am sayin that .com can b more expansive an inclusive... it wud havta change a fair bit... an wen me looks at the stuff so many peeps wonna discuss on ere in forums ...an don entirely exclude mesel from criticism.. is it ne surprise that a screwed up puritan world looks at us wiv suspicion an doubt..from Cream Pies 2 whose best at suckin cock an otha things wich r a part of our lives but we r so crass in discussin it all.. our sexuality is trivialised by ouselves an we do ourselves no favours for it...

If we wonna b taken seriously by the world..we havta start takin ourselves more seriously 1st an stop talkin an actin bolloks.. an strat discussin issues wich r reel an not simply how big we like tits is or wetha a guy is uncut or not... issues wich move us forward..not back..an make us marginalised an ridiculed in the wider world...

[**Peg**]

All we have is the chatters' word that they are borderline underage. In my experience: they are cops.

tread softly... think about it.

[bret5668]

Fran : Quite simply..... What I am saying is this.... If a law (in any country, province, state, county, or municipality, is firmly in place, yes, you do have the right to disagree with it, and if that is your choice....more power to you for fighting an injustice you believe has occurred. However, you MUST abide by that particular law, or suffer the consequences and penalties therein.

[Falke]

snip

Well said.

This country has the collective mentality of a 14 year old when it comes to sex. Which is too bad as anything remotely sexual IS sexual and is taken as such. Further, there is always someone there who has a bug up their ass to try and stop all even remotely sexual activity... sometimes they have a government employee in their pocket to acheive their goal.

Case and point:

I am sure many of you have heard of Mark Foley, the former republican representive from FL. Foley had a personal vendetta to shut down nudist resort summer camps for teens. His accusations were that the summer camps were harbors for pedophile activities. Of course, being a nudist myself I can tell you that is abunch of BS and it wouldn't be tolerated by the nudist community. However, Foley did gain some ground as the everyday Joe head "Teens, nude camp, Adults" in the same sentence. In a case of irony, not all that long after he found himself in his own net when it was discovered that he was involved with underage interns in Washington.

My point is, even in the nudist community where it's entirely non-sexual, there are still issues from these sort of people. Now, on a different note, this IS a sexual community. While it wouldn't be easy to shut down, it would be a mess should someone say the wrong thing to a minor. Basically, keep em off until they are 18 as I know many of us don't want the bad publicity that would befall the community.

[mrplayfuluk]

it strikes me that a deeper issue is unfolding here which is why are some of you are so obsessed by proscribing this site with US law? I hate to point the finger of self obsession, but there is a world out there with different degrees of morality and a lot of those nationalities are on here too. I like a lot of people on here and have been a regular for 3 years plus I have plenty of of friends in the US, so I'm not being xenophobic, but at times we are divided by the same language. I'm with Dark Eyes.

So.....
Did you know that the age of sexual consent in Canada is now 16 as of May 1st 2008; only the act of anal sex is still set at 18. Even so to me this site is International and not American, just because there 'might' be more American members and regardless, I am not about to encourage anyone to do anything illegal. If I was an, of legal age, say 17 year old Brit, Canadian or Australian bi person, for example, I would be pissed off that I couldn't communicate with other similar people on here, because I am being judged not only on my sexuality but my nationality as well. I fully understand the paranoia that US law impacts on his citizens but for god sake remember if this site is governed by Canadian law then some of the stuff written so far is irrelevant...... so as long as the individual is friendly and of 'legal age' in Canada then we should have an open mind, while acting responsibly. I remember being that age and really wanting to get advice from real bi adults not counsellors. its not just about sex.

[csrakate]

The original intent of the thread was concerned with the underage chatters that come into the room....but what about the rude, sexually overt underage chatters that seem to disrupt the harmony within the chat room, not the ones that come in seeking advice and counsel. I do feel bad for those who are merely seeking some advice, yet we can never be lackadaisical when it comes to it going beyond just that. A simple request for advice can quickly turn sexual before we know it and that is that last thing that any of us need to encourage.

[elian]

Logically I understand the points from some of you about varying age of consent law. However, if the site is based in the US (is it?) I would have to think that US state law would have jurisdiction - although I am no lawyer.

I think the "you must be 18" is a rule that makes it really easy for Drew to have some sort of legal defense. That way hopefully the entire site isn't put at legal risk if a few members decide to violate the longstanding policy and engage in what some states would consider illegal activity.

When I was growing up and felt I had no one who would understand and offer advice and encouragement I would've been so thrilled to find a site like this..but the policy is an attempt to legally protect the site, minors and the members.

If the members CHOOSE to knowingly violate the policy then the fact the member agreed to the terms of service should indemnify the site.

I do not know if Drew logs the chat or not. If I was hosting and it was a matter of knowing who I need to ban based on reported abuse I probably would have historical chat logs for at least the span of a few days.

[mrplayfuluk]

Logically I understand the points from some of you about varying age of consent law. However, if the site is based in the US (is it?) I would have to think that US state law would have jurisdiction - although I am no lawyer.

if you read my post above you would have seen that this site is Canadian which is subject to different consent laws...... please pay attention.

(why do I bother :( )

[allbimyself]

if you read my post above you would have seen that this site is Canadian which is subject to different consent laws...... please pay attention.

(why do I bother :( )
I do wonder why you bother. The Canadian age of consent is 16 but that is not relevant. Should the parties involved be in other jurisdictions, those laws would apply to their behavior, the jurisdiction of where the website is hosted would not be a factor.

The site owner states that all members should be 18. End of story.

If you don't like that, create your own website.

[mrplayfuluk]

I do wonder why you bother. The Canadian age of consent is 16 but that is not relevant. Should the parties involved be in other jurisdictions, those laws would apply to their behavior, the jurisdiction of where the website is hosted would not be a factor.

The site owner states that all members should be 18. End of story.

If you don't like that, create your own website.

hey buddy, I am only responding to points made in the discussion on here and we all have the right to express a 'constructive' opinion, don't just come on here at the end and get all pompous and nasty, and flame me. I didn't originate this topic. Its pretty obvious you haven't followed the various lines of thought throughout this topic. Of course if Drew wants it to be an 18+ only site its his prerogative, but Dark Eyes has a point and its a reasonable subject for discussion as it throws up a reoccurring situation. I really would like to see where it says that an individual is governed by different jurisdictions on an International website because I'm sure everyone would like to know about that, as it is in itself an important issue in the light of this discussion.

[csrakate]

I don't know a thing about jurisdiction...nor do I really care....All I know is that let there be one overzealous parent who has objections to their child having any sort of interaction on this site and we can all say goodbye to this site as a group! Why would you ever want to take that chance to begin with? Well meaning as you may be, I personally don't see why you would wish to take a chance with someone who is knowingly breaking the rules of this site....It's just not worth it.

[allbimyself]

hey buddy, I am only responding to points made in the discussion on here and we all have the right to express a 'constructive' opinion, don't just come on here at the end and get all pompous and nasty, and flame me. I didn't originate this topic. Its pretty obvious you haven't followed the various lines of thought throughout this topic. Of course if Drew wants it to be an 18+ only site its his prerogative, but Dark Eyes has a point and its a reasonable subject for discussion as it throws up a reoccurring situation. I really would like to see where it says that an individual is governed by different jurisdictions on an International website because I'm sure everyone would like to know about that, as it is in itself an important issue in the light of this discussion.
Hey, pal, I didn't flame you anymore than you flamed Elian. And I said nothing about being under jurisdictions other than your own. In fact, I stated that the governing jurisdictions are those in which the two parties (assuming a minor and an adult) reside (or where they were when the interaction occurred.)

[vittoria]

Attention y'all!

So, um, I was thinkin of this "argument" that has ensued, right, and um, I personally think that if one goes to this website..Worldwide Age of Consent (http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm), one can find out all of the age of consent rules for each country and make their own decisions based on that. Unfortunately there is really no guarantee that someone can say that they are from, lets say, Indonesia, and actually be FROM Indonesia... theres no telling on these things.

[mrplayfuluk]

Vittoria, that was a real eye opener, the number of US States where 16 is now the age of consent will be quite a surprise for other members in this debate too. I guess we should get back to the original debate of rudeness in chatrooms.... :cool:

[elian]

Thanks for pointing the site origin out, I honestly didn't know. When the page is rendered on my computer the size of the text is about 8pt - which means that sometimes I am guilty of speed reading the very tiny letters.

All manner of people can sometimes be rude, not sure there is much to be done about that - but then again there IS the ignore function in chat...I have used it in the past when certain other people in the chat room seem to have a sticky RETURN key and it has worked miracles.

[matterinhand]

Part of my concern with this issue is that I am the mother of a 17 year old. I wouldn't want him coming here for information. There are other places that are more appropriate for him to go to for info.

Like his parents?

Sorry, there's no way I could have talked to my parents about bisexuality, and I realised my sexuality at about 11.
And my info came from older men... who, needless to say, were into it for their own benefit.
So if I have no qualms in discussing sexuality with what would be classed as children in one country and adults in others.
Cybering is a totally different matter.

[Apleasureseeker]

Guys, There shouldn't be a debate about this. Drew sets the legal age on this site based on the laws that apply. While The ethics of this group is surprisingly high-minded, and the members clearly have a genuine concern with being supportive to younger people, but that won't mean it will sway the overweight, 50 year old guy who's job it is to pretend to be a confused 17 year old lesbian as part of a sting operation. If a confused 17 year old can find this site for support and advice, I have no doubt that they can find other, more appropriate sources. Fair? Maybe not. Reality? Yup.

[csrakate]

I concur with Apleasureseeker...it is what it is and should be something that we adhere to. I have to add that many of the underage trolls that have appeared in the chat room have not done so in the quest for advice or counsel, but to seek out a sexual hook up...and often choose to divulge their age while in a private conversation with another. I don't care what the age of consent is in any given country, to encourage this activity is wrong and can only lead to more trouble than it's worth, however well intentioned. And good intentions aside, this statement speaks volumes:


And my info came from older men... who, needless to say, were into it for their own benefit.


Like it or not, not everyone is in this chat room to help...but to heighten their own sense of sexuality. An underage chatter, whether truly underage or not, should not be engaged in sexual talk of any kind.