Should I fish or cut bait on my current situation? [Archive]

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PhysicalFriend33

Apr 23, 2009, 4:33 AM

darkeyes

Apr 23, 2009, 7:28 AM

... bout time u did wot yas waitin for 'im 2 do.. or give it up as a bad job..:)

God..wishy washy indecisive men!!!!! :rolleyes:

bityme

Apr 23, 2009, 8:06 AM

There is someone interested in me and the feeling is mutual. But for the past 6 months its been nothing but superficial conversations and empty promises from him that we will have this dazzeling first date. As I said this has been going on for 6 months and I keep mentioning when are we gonna actually date?All I get back are cutesy comments and compliments. I want a date not a greeting card.IS that too much to ask?

Should I keep my fishing line in his lake or should I cut bait and move on?

With an ad summary that says "just looking for cool friends," you are probably sending him mixed messages. Lay out some absolutes. Decide for how long you will play the exciting email game and stick to your guns.

While I believe that in a relationship, if your partner gives you an ultimatum demanding that you change in some way, it is time to end the relationship, the courting process is completely different. You have to give an ultimatum for your own sanity.

If you go fishing and you get a fish on the hook, do you reel it in or let it continue to swim around? By the same token, if all you are getting is nibbles at your bait, isn't there a time to pull in the line and row to a new location?

By continuing to let yourself be played, you might be missing out on another, better opportunity. Think about yourself first, at least until you have a face-to-face.

Also, if this person is playing you before the first date, is there a possibility that the same actions will continue afterward. How does a date every 6 - 9 months sound for your love life?

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Apr 23, 2009, 3:13 PM

So get bold and ask for that date First. If he/she plays it off or makes some cutesy excuse, then weigh anchor and go in search of a better fishing hole. Sounds like all that person likes is the flirtation, and thrill of the chase.
Avast me hearty, yo ho! lol:bigrin:
Silly Cat

PolyLoveTriad

Apr 23, 2009, 3:17 PM

Maybe theyre just nervous? Id ask for the date first, straight up, how about this time and day? If you still get the run around then Id move on. Lots of fishies in the sea!

rissababynta

Apr 23, 2009, 4:45 PM

Sounds like you've got one of those weird ass deep sea creatures that glow in UV lights and look like they are from Mars...what you need is a nice Tuna :)

FalconAngel

Apr 24, 2009, 2:12 AM

Nail him down to a date for your date and if he balks at it, then cut an run.

orbit

Apr 24, 2009, 5:45 AM

Maybe theyre just nervous? Id ask for the date first, straight up, how about this time and day? If you still get the run around then Id move on. Lots of fishies in the sea!

Yep, that's what I think too.

Intimate_Light

Apr 26, 2009, 3:12 PM

I second the motion on that 6 months is plenty of time given.
The question to ask is two-fold:

A) Get clear within yourself on how you feel about this person and what the next step you'd like to see unfold. I.e. date, which must mean that it's a prelude to deeper intimacy (sensual).

B) Once you're clear with yourself and share that with him/her, ask for the exact same honesty from him/her. Ask if she or he has any intimate feelings or desires about you and whether he or she is ready to go there.

Whatever the responses, respect yourself for where you are and where she or he is about your relationship.
Then decide whether its a compatible one.

-----------------

Last, I have no idea whether you are already in a relationship with someone else as this particular one has been going on.

--- If there is a primary relationship, it's more complicated for you have to deal with the issues of honesty with your primary relationship = are you "cheating" on them - or is your primary partner aware of this situation? That alone can be putting the brakes on your end too. Meaning that you may be subconsciously not want to go ahead to the next level for you don't feel quite right about it.

--- If there is no primary relationship going on (or she or he is aware of and totally cool with you having one with this person), then you only have to deal with the above issues A) and B).

Whatever the case, it's time to take a good look at the whole picture and make a decision to be fair to all involved, incl. yourself. In short:

Truth, mutual respect and clear communication are the key, as they are with anything in life.