advice?

[SunflowerGirl]

okay, so, i have somewhat recently realized that i am bisexual. I am having a very hard time just accepting it. i don't think that it is wrong, in any way, it is more that i feel like i don't know myself, after having been 'straight' for so long. it has been stressing me out quite a bit. my boyfriend knows, and accepts it, but he doesnt understand why it is bothering me. He has another bisexual friend, who i would like to ask questions about all this, but i am unsure of how that would go. Anyone have any advice for me? im not even sure why i am having such a difficult time.

I feel so confused. [not about my sexuality, just about accepting it.]

[Long Duck Dong]

lol sun darling we have walked that path and some of us that are been les / gay / bi often can walk thru life never fully accepting it....., we acknowledge we are, we know we are, we just do not fully come to terms with it

I will hazard a quess that it could do a lot with the expectations of what being bisexual means..... it simply means that you are attracted to both genders

you do not have to be sexually involved with both genders
you do not have to be in a open relationship
you can be monogamousy
you do not have to have threesomes
you do not have to enjoy porn movies or images etc


if you can not accept being bisexual, try another angle like a heterosexual with a interest in females..... or other *labels * that you may find you can accept easier...

[FalconAngel]

Don't worry about any labels, for the time being.

Talk to the boyfriend's Bi friend and ask questions. Your boyfriend may accept you for what you are, but not really understand, unless he has had a lot of discussions with his Bi friend, so let him in on the chat, too.

You will both learn a lot from it.

There are also a lot of people on this site that have gone through all variations of what you are going through, so asking questions here is also a good idea.

You have made a good first step. We also have any number of past threads of this nature, so don' hesitate to look through them as well.

Accepting what you are and being comfortable with it, I see as being akin to a personal religious path. You can share it with others and get their input to help you understand and clear the fog, but in the end, it is a personal path that we each must travel.

Good luck on your journey and feel free to ask specific questions when you have them.
Someone will always answer or help you along on this site.

[MarieDelta]

I second everything LDD and FalconAngel said.

Dont get too stressed out about it for now. Realize too that there are quite a few of us out there (both in and out of the closet.)

Also you don't have to come out to everyone , right now. Sit back and let things become comfortable for you, and then decide when it is best for you to come out, or if you want to do that at all.

This is about you, its very intensely personal, its not for everyone to tell you how you feel.

Know too that there are politics involved, there have been for some time. You don't have to be involved with them, just realize they exist.

Oh and welcome to the site! :bipride::bibounce:

[onewhocares]

Don't worry about any labels, for the time being.

Talk to the boyfriend's Bi friend and ask questions. Your boyfriend may accept you for what you are, but not really understand, unless he has had a lot of discussions with his Bi friend, so let him in on the chat, too.

You will both learn a lot from it.

There are also a lot of people on this site that have gone through all variations of what you are going through, so asking questions here is also a good idea.

You have made a good first step. We also have any number of past threads of this nature, so don' hesitate to look through them as well.

Accepting what you are and being comfortable with it, I see as being akin to a personal religious path. You can share it with others and get their input to help you understand and clear the fog, but in the end, it is a personal path that we each must travel.

Good luck on your journey and feel free to ask specific questions when you have them.
Someone will always answer or help you along on this site.

Well said Falcon....

Labels are things that are sewn into your clothes for washing instructions and other kinds of labels should not be considered important....unless they say Dry Clean Only.

Do not worry about what others think..you do what is comfortable for you Sunflower. There are lots of threads here to read and a world of people who can talk when you need to.

Belle

[Donkey_burger]

You will be as comfortable with this as you allow yourself to be.

Think of it this way: It's part of your neurology, and also part of your genetics. In other words, being bisexual is a part of you.

Yeah, but ya know, like everyone else has said. No need to label that part. Just acknowledge that it's there.

DB :flag3:

[mikey3000]

Oh, Sunflower. I totally understand. I had (and sometimes still do) a hard time accepting me too. Even after my wife totally accepted it, I still didn't. Some times I feel that she is more on board with the idea than me.

[Beefeater]

From the time I was a preteen until I was 14, I used to mentally "beat myself up" trying to figure out what, if anything was wrong with me for engaging in sex with another member of the male sex....and liking it....a lot! It felt like I had a big neon sign over my head with an arow pointing down at me that said." QUEER!".

The turning point came when I realized that it was MY life and I had a right to live it the way I saw fit and with that, I "gave myself permission" to enjoy having male to male sex. It is all a matter of acceptance. If you are at a place in your life that makes you happy and isn't harmful to you or anyone else, accept it as being a part of you that you like. If you are uncomfortable with the things that you are doing, chalk it up to a life experience, learn from it and then move on.:2cents:

[csrakate]

If you are uncomfortable with the things that you are doing, chalk it up to a life experience, learn from it and then move on.:2cents:

Welcome to the site and I hope you enjoy this learning experience it can offer you. I think this quote of Beef's says a lot....you need to be comfortable with anything in regards to your sexuality and as long as you feel the least bit uncomfortable, you are not ready to take that next step. Take your time, explore your options and use the resources available to you to work out your confusion and/or ambivalence about your sexuality. I hope you one day discover what it is you are seeking but until then, relax and enjoy yourself and know you are not alone.

Kate