Opinions and/or suggestions pleas:

[oralolder]

I was in chat for several days about starting a no strings relation. things were progressing very well and the two of us seem to be on the same page about almost all our desires. I told him some initials to use for me. everything seem to be going great untill he asked for my real name. I told him that I would tell him when we met. that did not go over very well with him, and he became somewhat biligerent because I would not tell him my name in chat. now, he never gave me any initials or his name either, and I never asked for it. he ended the chats and I never heard from him again. probably best that way also. I am not out and apparently he was the same. what would you have done?
thanks for any and all responses.....

[chook]

Good for you Oral makes you think on what the other guys alterinatives really where.......you can never be too safe

cheers Chook :bigrin:

[calvin]

I was in chat for several days about starting a no strings relation. things were progressing very well and the two of us seem to be on the same page about almost all our desires. I told him some initials to use for me. everything seem to be going great untill he asked for my real name. I told him that I would tell him when we met. that did not go over very well with him, and he became somewhat biligerent because I would not tell him my name in chat. now, he never gave me any initials or his name either, and I never asked for it. he ended the chats and I never heard from him again. probably best that way also. I am not out and apparently he was the same. what would you have done?
thanks for any and all responses.....
i would have pointed out that i had not been given a name. the relationship is, [or should be] a 50/50 thing. just write him off and keep looking.

[ambi53mm]

Hi Oral,

Don’t get discouraged. It’s kind of like fishing.. You’ll get some nibbles from time to time…might even catch a few that you’ll throw back for one reason or another..but what keeps you out there fishing is the dream of catching the big one…and it will usually happen when you last expect it. If you enjoy fishing for the sake of fishing there will be less disappointment.
Probably had a small fish on the line anyway with no intention of ever being landed.
Thank God it’s a big sea LOL

Ambi :)

[OralBradley]

Most of the guys (and a few women) whom I have chatted with have enjoyed an exchange of thoughts that lasted through a series of e-mails (e-males?). All these chats eventually petered out when we ran out of new revelations of found that our basic wants differed.
Though I would like one to eventually develope into a close, lasting, and intimate (not necessarily sexual) relationship. none has come close so far. I guess that one main difficulty is the separation in time and space for contact.

[rumple4skin]

Oral,
The way I see it if you did not feel comfortable giving him your name until you actually met him then that is your business. If he does not like it he is free to end the chat (which he seemed to do). No harm no foul. I would not say he is wrong for ending the chats but there is no need to become belligerent. I am out to most of my friends and family but that does not mean I give out personal information before I feel comfortable with someone. I am not saying this is right or wrong but the more someone pressures me to give out information the more reluctant I would become. If I told someone that I would not give out my name until I met them and they said they did not want to meet until they knew my name I would say we were at an impasse and just wish them luck. If someone got belligerent because they did not like the boundaries I set for myself I would see lots of red flags and just walk away. I could see him being uncomfortable meeting you before he knew your name but there is no need to get hostile. You need to do what you feel comfortable with. I hope this experience does not discourage you. I have had lots of chats and emails go nowhere for various reasons. The ones that went somewhere were worth the patience and discretion. Well that is my :2cents: .
Hope future attempts go smoother for you,
Rumple

[OralBradley]

I generally stick with my cyber-name until I'm sure that I want to meet someone. It is important to me to find out that we are likely to be compatable before I make myself easily tracible. If some one is uncomfortable with that, I amd almost sure to be uncomfortable with them. The rationale has usually bee mutual.

[oralolder]

thanks for your replies guys. maybe I should have also added that I have had some other contacts and relations where a real name from either of us were needed. this was the second one where the other party became upset or beligerent because I would tell them my real name before meeting with them. it just seems to me, if I invite someone to my home for a meeting, that should be enough information, at least untill we meet face to face. anyway, thank you all for some helpful suggestions and your opinions.

[funtimebiman47]

Oral, you did nothing wrong. I always assumed that no stings relations meant nothing ties you and them together. Please dont be discouraged Oral as these things happen to all of us. Keep handling your contacts as you always do and good luck.

[Biboz49]

Oral I wouldn't even waste any more time and energy thinking about it. That one is a write-off. Keep searching!