Question on acceptance

[julbug]

Why is it easier for a man to accept and embrace a woman's bi-sexuality, than it is for a woman to accept a man's?

[TwylaTwobits]

It's all a question of perception, Jul. I said it before I'll say it again, I didn't fall in love with a bisexual male, I fell in love with a male who happened to be bisexual. Perhaps the problem lies with issues in the porn industry where you will always be able to find two women being joined by a man and seemingly complete. What a load of bs, a dick isn't necessary to complete a woman. But some people get hung up on the thought of someone they always see in control as being controlled by someone else if they are a bottom. It's when you realize that lovemaking isn't about control it's about intimacy that it gets a bit easier to understand. But then some people have problems thinking that a man could be emotionally attracted to another man while completely accepting that a woman can be attracted to another woman due to the differences in the nurturing nature she was born with. There is no easy answer to your question, until people's perceptions are changed nothing will ever be easy on anyone for anything.

[darkeyes]

Just for starters this is hwat I said in another, similar thread only this week..

"Let me start by being honest.. even when I considered myself bi and still dallied with the lesser mortal, the thought of 2 guys having it away ws never something which I found a turn on.. its not that I disapprove or anything like that its just the way I was, and still am.. but I always found touching and luffly 2 guys who kissed in public or walked down the road hand in hand.. I have been to clubs and parties where I have seen guys canoodling and snogging with a pash.. and their hands teasing away at each others bits, and have even witnessed guys with cocks in their mouths.. it neither revolts me or turns me on..I accept it as I was raised to.. as what gay and bisexual men do with each other.. ok... a bit matter of fact but that's how I am..

The double standard is I'm afraid all too common.. and it isnt something we about which we can feel any pride... guys have needs just like us, and whatever their needs are, we should never condemn or pull faces..

In the days I used to get off with guys and take them back to my place, or go to theirs, or even have a quick fuck in a graveyard or in a doorway, it never occurred to me to ask what their sexuality was. I have never knowingly slept with a bisexual man.. yet by the law of averages I must have.. if I had known that a guy who was trying his luck was bisexual.. would I have continued to allow him to chase? Bloody right I would.. if he was sexy enough and I fancied him enough.. several of my friends, one of whom is bisexual..well balanced and not in the least anti gay or bi in almost every other way suffer that double standard and the hypocrisy which goes along with it.. they would no sooner get off with a bi guy than they would fuck George Bush.. and some right set to's we have had about it as well..

Why this should be I don't have the answer for certain.. but the taboo of male homosexuality has always been much more strong than that of the female.. is anal penetration the reason? Possibly..but lots of guys quite happily hump away at their girl friend or wife's arse.. so why the difference?That fact may be a reason why some women, bisexual and straight refuse to take on a bi guy.. they have no intention of being anally fucked.. but its not the whole (no pun intended) answer.. there is just much more reluctance in general society to accept it although even in my lifetime I have noticed improvements in acceptance of it..

Our sexuality is whatever it is.. it's life.. and women who blyuuuugh at bi men, especially bi women, should feel thoroughly ashamed... such prejudice does us no favours and plays into the hands of those who would have us exterminated or at the very least made illegal and forced back into the closet..."


Twyla is right.. it is a matter of perception but its more than that. Male homosexuality has, as I said in the other thread, always been more harshly looked on than female.. whether the anal act is substantially the reason I repeat.. I don't know, but as women throughout the ages were traditionally chattels to be used as and when and how men saw fit, it is also probable that female homosexuality..or bisexuality was encouraged as part of the male's evening's entertainment and pleasure.. more men do get turned on by two or more women getting it on with each other, and straight men at that, than do women straight or otherwise when it is a multitude of men having their bit of fun with each other.. its a cultural thing found in many different cultures past and present.. and so female bisexuality/homosexuality became accepted as not such a bad thing, while that of the male.. the historically dominant sex became, officially at least, something about which society was expected to disapprove..

Things are far better now than they have been if not ever, but at least for several millenia, at least in the west, and hopefully if we are determined enough, things will continue to get better for us all.. and male bisexuality and homosexuality will become as accepted as their female equivalents, and that all sexualities for all people will become just so.. we are what we are when it comes to sexuality.. and the world should simply grow up, accept it and leave it at that..

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I have been to clubs and parties where I have seen guys canoodling and snogging with a pash.. and their hands teasing away at each others bits, and have even witnessed guys with cocks in their mouths.. it neither revolts me or turns me on..I accept it as I was raised to.. as what gay and bisexual men do with each other.. ok... a bit matter of fact but that's how I am..

Oh My..is it gettin warm in here??? LOl Just picking on ya, Fran. Muah ;):tongue:
Bad Cat

[darkeyes]

I have been to clubs and parties where I have seen guys canoodling and snogging with a pash.. and their hands teasing away at each others bits, and have even witnessed guys with cocks in their mouths.. it neither revolts me or turns me on..I accept it as I was raised to.. as what gay and bisexual men do with each other.. ok... a bit matter of fact but that's how I am..

Oh My..is it gettin warm in here??? LOl Just picking on ya, Fran. Muah ;):tongue:
Bad Cat

... sayin nowt bout wot me got up 2 at same parties an clubs Cat... jus leave that 2 ya 'magination... ya kno wer shower is.. turn it 2 cold...:tong:

[foreverbi]

I have always wondered too why a man thinks it's so hot to see two (or more) women together, but women are so grossed out when it comes to seeing their men with a cock in their mouth. Are there any women out there that can clear this up for me? Thanks in advance.:soapbox:

[tenni]

In a couple of words, I wonder if it doesn't come down to the "patriarchy"?

Men perceive women in a same sex sexual situation not as lesbian but two hot chics that they are watching who entertaining them. Men perceive the women to some extent as two women worshipping/performing for them rather than pleasing each other. (yep mysoginist)

On the other hand, a patriarchal man is to be in control and to place himself as receiving anal is to degrade himself by presenting himself as a female receptor. I personally am not interested in being in that position but it doesn't mean that I am not open to being naked with another guy. Anal is not for me. I'd prefer to be with a woman for intercourse. Some bisexuals separate intimacy from same sex experience and it is almost if they are worshipping the penis (male dominance symbol of patriarchal culture).

Personally, I also see the issue of women finding it more difficult to accept same sex between men as a huge factor in why bisexual men step outside of their marriage without the wife knowing. Even on this site, there is no acceptance of support and understanding of the double standard of females being less culturally accepting of same sex experiences than males are. It is the double standard that comes from mainstream patriarchal cultural beliefs that may be at the root of the double standard. just my view though.

[ganix22]

Personally, I also see the issue of women finding it more difficult to accept same sex between men as a huge factor in why bisexual men step outside of their marriage without the wife knowing. Even on this site, there is no acceptance of support and understanding of the double standard of females being less culturally accepting of same sex experiences than males are. It is the double standard that comes from mainstream patriarchal cultural beliefs that may be at the root of the double standard. just my view though.


First I'd like to say that I agree with everyone that said individual perceptions are the reason women find it harder to accept bisexuality in men.

I'm bisexual woman engaged to a bisexual man. I am jealous woman so I won't lie and say that I don't have an issue with his bisexuality. But my jealousy stems from the fact that growing up (before I understood my bisexuality) my idea of couples and marriage was completely monogamous. It wasn't until after I understood myself that I realized that it doesn't have to be that way and shouldn't in our case. I'm still working through jealousy issues but I am working on them because I want to be completely accepting of his bisexuality and there are other women I know that accept the bisexuality of their partners. Because of these women, I feel like there is hope for the world yet. :bipride:

[dafydd]

[B]I have been to clubs and parties where I have seen guys canoodling and snogging with a pash.. and their hands teasing away at each others bits, and have even witnessed guys with cocks in their mouths..

:eek: but cherokee, you're like a mum to me...i can't hear this...you're pure!
d

[darkeyes]

:eek: but cherokee, you're like a mum to me...i can't hear this...you're pure!
d

She wos quotin me ya daft wazzock.. tee hee.. so rest easy... Cat is indeed pure as driven snow... well mayb not quite that pure;).. but luffly an pure enuff for me..:tong:

[rissababynta]

Ok...it's like this...

People are animals. Like animals we have basic instincts. Sexuality and such is an instinctive thing. Generally speaking, women aren't quite as sexualy assertive as men and they are the ones that you would see chasing after a female out in the wild who sort of wants nothing to do with them until they just give in (LOL). Looking at it that way, women instinctively see them as the MEN...the MANLY MEN...the ones who are the protectors and providers and spread their seed to procreate. Soooo...when the "manly men" do something that is not seen as being "manly" for us ladies...some of us get a little freaked out. Women are not as visual in the sex department as men are. We associate a lot of things in a good love making session...men not so much. So where as men can be attracted by a lot of things as long as it has to do with a sexual act, women can not always bring themselves to that point.

Also, under normal circumstances, women PREFER softer feminine things. Women tend to prefer the appearance of other women, the smell, the behaviors and so on up until the point where they ovulate. At this point, they lean towards wanting to be around men more often and find them a bit more attractive than usual. At this time, the females body changes to entice men more as well. But this is only a small time during the course of the month when this happens...the rest of the time it is more about women. This is a lot of the reason why it is slightly more accepted for women to enjoy the company of women...because it is seen as something that is a bit more natural and occurs more often.

It all boils down to that we are ANIMALS...and we behave and base our thoughts around what we as animals do. (Hmm, looks like those years of psychology paid off...whew)

NOW...this is obviously not THE RULE of how things go...because many women do in fact enjoy seeing men together and many people do not live their lives by this "animal instinct" but generally...this is how it goes.

[bemyonlyone]

It has to be natural...because even the straightest women admit to being turned on sometimes by women. They'll be like "I'm straight, but...eh...there was that one time..." or "there's this one girl I work/go to school with"

Then I find out they're not so straight...and this happens so often it's unbelievable. Also, straight women complimenting each other's breasts and butts, touching and hugging and kissing all the time? Hmm.

Perhaps this is why I keep after a certain straight girl so. There is that possibility she is one of the truly straight ones...but certain things she's said and done make me think...nope...it's just a matter of time until I shall pounce. :bigrin:

I also find it more gratifying to go after a straight girl as opposed to a gay guy because the gay guy in question has been VERY mean sometimes and very clear about the fact that he's disgusted by women's bodies and that he wouldn't in a million years even kiss a woman. So that turned me off a bit. Whereas my friend has been touching me more and trying to be closer to me since she figured out I liked her.

<<depraved pervert

[dafydd]

Why this should be I don't have the answer for certain.. but the taboo of male homosexuality has always been much more strong than that of the female.. is anal penetration the reason? Possibly..but lots of guys quite happily hump away at their girl friend or wife's arse.. so why the difference?That fact may be a reason why some women, bisexual and straight refuse to take on a bi guy.. they have no intention of being anally fucked.. but its not the whole (no pun intended) answer.. there is just much more reluctance in general society to accept it although even in my lifetime I have noticed improvements in acceptance of it..



homosexuality/bisexuality does conjure up fears of anal sex and male to male penetration. In a hetreosexist, straight patriarchy it is the fear that a man can be penetrated like a woman and hence 'become' a woman that is at the root of homophobia. I think that it is misogyny that is the driver (subconciously or not) for homo/bi/transphobia. e.g. gay=feminine=female, both undesirable traits for men who believe that straight=strong=masculine

d:flag1:

[brutal_priestess]

Because there's some idiot notion that women (all women) are predisposed to some bi-curiousity. Whereas it's much more clear cut with men: You're either gay or straight and if you say you're bi, you're gay but are still straddling the fence/in the closet.

It's moronic, but that's the general idea.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Awww ty to Fran and Daffy. Muah to your pretty and handsome cheeks...lol
And the reason Some women find it harder is that Eww factor, They think of men being together as disgusting, and many have royal hang-ups about it. Where as men think its hot at the thought of two women together. :rolleyes:
Personally I dont dont have a prob seeing or accepting Anybody together. Sex and pleasure is sex and pleasure...as long as everybody is happy with it and concenting. :}
Cat