Long time married crossdressing bi sexual how do I tell my wife I am bi?

[marysueiowacd]

Title says a lot but not all. We have been married over 35 yrs and we still love each other. She is wonderful about my crossdressing and let's me go to cd meetings. What she don't know is I have a bi side. My first time was when I was 20 and the experience never left me now I am 60 and been true blue until a yr and a half a go.Then I turned into a cock slut with 3 others cd's but only briefly. The sex at home is slowing to a stop. Not her fault as she has some physical problems and to give her credit she trie's real hard to keep me happy. I never told her I had been with a man before we were married because I hoped those feelings would go away.They didn't. I do think our love for each other and a slowing sex life that it would be a good time to tell her. So I need lot's of advice from others in my situation or if you have seen others work it out.When I do tell her I will also tell her it's not about love but just sex and I still love her very much and don't want to lose her. So how do I soften her up to the subjct. I should also ad that she know's and is ok with me jacking off but that is getting old I need some intamacy with other cd's and sex. We also have a gay son and she is accepting as am I of his life as a gay man. Just wish I had his courage. My worry is that this would put her over the top and she might lose it.marysueiowacd

[hydropop]

Im afraid if she dosent know bi now , she never will know. Hell shes accepted you for what you are , may as well spill the beans. Dont you think?

[TaylorMade]

If she's still into porn, watch some with her and tell her that while you still love her, that there are some urges (trust me on this one, use the term urges) that you can't ignore anymore.

*Taylor*

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I am 60 and been true blue until a yr and a half a go.Then I turned into a cock slut with 3 others cd's but only briefly

So you've already cheated on her? What do you think she's going to feel like when you tell her of this?? There went your trust factor right out the window, plus any integrity you might have had with her. If she's already tolerating your cross-dressing she May understand your need to be bi too, but I personally think you messed it up from the git-go....:(:2cents:

Talk to her. Open, honest communication is the best thing in the world.
Good luck to you....
Cat

[SophiaBee]

marysueiowacd,

If she is good with your crossdressing I would tell her that you would like to experience being with a man. I wouldnt tell her about your playing around, cause that is your problem you have to deal with the guilt from it -why burden her with wories that she doesnt need? There are some wives who are good with it, some that arent, and some that offer a compromise. Give her a chance to decide.

[marysueiowacd]

Like I said it I cheated only for a real short time and haven't since. I know it wasn't right and thats why I haven't cheated again although it is hard. I will never tell her I already did it. maybe I messed up in the past but I want to do things right in the future even if I never do it again with other cd's or men. Still I need some good solid advice on how to tell my wife about my urge's and no she will not watch porno.Thanks for the replie's hugs marysueiowacd

[SophiaBee]

Coming out to a spouse is scary, Here are some tips that I found:


You don’t have to have everything perfectly planned out, but here are some tips for how to tell your wife you are bisexual:
•Tell the truth.
•Speak for yourself using I statement.
•If you have been having problems with her, try to keep those issues separate from what is going on inside you.
•Let her know it’s not her fault. That nothing she did caused you to be this way.
•You don’t have to tell her everything. You may want to spare her any details of your sexual experiences with others, but if you’ve put her at risk of any sexually transmitted diseases, you should let her know that.
•Remember this is your first conversation about this and her initial reaction will not be her lasting one.
•Don’t come out to her in anger.
•Don’t expect her to be your primary support in this.
•Be honest. Don’t give her false hope for your relationship if there is none.
•Do seek the assistance of a relationship counselor. She can help you work it out, or break up in an amicable way.
•Encourage her to find his own support. The Straight Spouse Network is one place she can go.

Straight Spouse Network: http://www.straightspouse.org/home.php