I love him

[subject314]

I love one of my good friends very much but I'm afraid he's going to stop being my friend if I tell him that I love him. He is probably my best friend and I've known him since pre-school. Someone please give me advice on what to do.

[DuckiesDarling]

Okay your profile says you are male and you are in love with your male best friend. I understand your fears, you have known him a long time does he know you have feelings for males? Or would this also be outing yourself to him?

Sorry I can't offer more advice but the simple fact is you are the one that knows him. I can say if he's really your friend then the declaration might make things awkward for a bit if he doesn't reciprocate but true friends will swing back towards each other.

Good luck.

[tenni]

It would be difficult to say much to you as you need to give more information. Just from what you have written(no age), I suspect that you are young. We do not know if you have had any same sex experiences or if your attraction to your friend is your first awareness?

At any rate, I would suggest a slow process of disclosure first about your sexuality to see his acceptance of that. Test the waters carefully if you are unaware of his attitude towards same sex activity. Is he homophobic in any way? If so, you are going to have to decide how much you value him as a platonic life long friend or your attraction. It may be best to look elsewhere for a love interest as hard as that might be. In fact, it may be impossible for you or difficult.

Tell us more.

[guynice]

You might tell him some guy came on to you and you wonder how to handle it. See how he reacts. If he's really negative about it I would not tell him how you feel about him. My first m/m relationship resulted in a friend telling me he was gay. I think he thought I was curious about men and thats why he told me. If you've been friends for so long you must have some idea of how he feels about the subject. I would not blurt out that you love him, it seems to me to be too much information too soon.Find out how he feels and react on what he says. Try putting yourself in a in a similar situation in your mind and see how it feels. Let me know how you handled it and how it worked out. Guy

[guynice]

PS: We eventually fell in love with each other.

[swmnkdinthervr]

(putting on my flame retardant suit) This won't be the popular answer but...if you're love for him is not/never has been returned what you are feeling is acute infatuation. Without both parties to nurture a those yearnings infatuation won't mature into love. It is likely just as painful to feel what you're feeling as it might be to lose a love...but...your recovery would be a great deal shorter should it not work out.