[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]But there was something I felt I had to know. I could have sex with both boys and girls and I just "knew" there was something about this that was very special. When I was 12, I had gone to the public library to do some research for a book report; I'd gone to the huge dictionary in the library to look up a word - the word I was looking for was "bisect," by the way, but as I read the definition, my eyes latched onto another word: "Bisexual." I read the definition... and yet another thing clicked in my head and so much that I blurted out loud, "So [B]that's[/B] what I've been doing!" and loud enough that the librarian gave me a very dirty look. It had me sneaking around the library a lot to find out as much about this "bisexual" thing as I could find out and things had finally gelled in my mind about this sex thing - there was much more about this than I could have known. I had heard the word "incest" somewhere and I looked up that word, too; I was very nervous and thinking that someone would just know I was looking up what had to be a bad word. I read the definition... and I got very concerned. Oh, boy. Yeah, this was bad... but was it really? I'd been all up in it with my brother and sister... and more than a few cousins in the first and second range. Oh, boy. Oh, shit! This was bad and spelled some very serious issues. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]My sister gasped, moaned and even shuddered... so I did it again and the same thing happened. Hmm... now, ain't this interesting! She kept telling me to do it again and to keep doing it and I did just that until she was shivering like she was freezing cold and then her whole body went limp... and she was smiling and like I'd never seen her smile before. So is this why he told me to never put my mouth on a girl's pussy? Still didn't make sense because, "obviously," she liked it very much and to be honest, so did I even if I did almost throw up on her. She said, "Do that agan!" and this time, I didn't feel the need to gag or felt sick. Boy, I was licking and kissing all of her pussy; even figured out that I could stick my tongue in her hole and move it in and out - she really liked that, too. Once again, it clicked in my head that this had to be that "eating pussy" thing I'd been hearing about. I "ate" my sister's pussy like four or five times before she said, "Stick it in me!" Do what now? If I didn't know anything else, I [B]knew[/B] I wasn't supposed to do that. While I pondered this, well, I guess she had an idea of her own because she said, "Lay back and hold still..." then she sucked my dick. Yeah, she gagged at first, got over it, and I wound up shooting some stuff in her mouth which surprised the shit out of her and she spit it out - then said, "Okay... so that's what happens. Get it hard again so you can stick it in me - and hurry up!" I licked and kissed her pussy again until my dick got hard, got between her legs, and stuck it in her and felt her cherry pop - yep, knew about that already. She gasped and had a pained look on her face for a moment before it went away and she whispered in my ear, "Do it to me..." And I did. And it was glorious, even better than doing it to the guys and the other girls. I shot my stuff in her and was about to pull it out when she said, "Just stay there - maybe it'll get hard again?" And it did... and one more time after that. I shot three loads of the stuff into her and we both knew we had really fucked up - because we both said, after we got dressed, that we just fucked up. And we didn't care one bit. I'd already been doing it with my brother; now I was doing it with my sister and now it really didn't get any better than that. But it would... but not for a great many more years. Still, I had discovered eating pussy and while some girls were leery about it at first, many more were thrilled to no end that I knew how to do that. Admittedly, I wasn't good at it but all of the girls who wanted me to lick and kiss their pussy were teaching me how to do it better - and especially the girls who were afraid to fuck out of fear of getting pregnant. I figured out that I could spend a lot of time licking and kissing their pussies - sorry, Dad - you were wrong about it being a bad thing to do - and they'd want to fuck... but not in their pussy - so they let me stick in their butt and even if it wasn't their favorite thing to do. "It's better than nothing," one girl said after being fucked in the butt for the first time. "It hurt but then it stopped hurting - and I'm not gonna get pregnant!" I would discover and learn a hell of a lot more about sex but I now knew "the basics;" I could suck a dick and eat a pussy and, of course, I could stick it in somewhere and "cum" - a new word I had learned after swiping my father's dirty books. Boys were sucking my dick and doing it to me and, sometimes, girls would just suck my dick, get their pussy eaten - but wanted to fuck but were too afraid to. And that was fine; if they were happy, I was more than happy. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The guys were jealous that I could do that and they couldn't but when we'd do it, they liked the way it tasted when I'd shoot it in their mouth or in their butt; the girls? Well, some were head over heels about it, some were very afraid but now I understood why but even they liked that I was shooting the stuff. And I was happily shooting it with anyone who'd let me - boys, girls, didn't matter. This sex thing was amazing and even though shooting the stuff still made me feel very strange, I was getting used to it. I'd even discovered that now, when I played with my dick, I could make the stuff come flying out... all over the place, too. I could do it to boys and girls and shoot the stuff and now all of my male friends were shooting the stuff in my mouth and in my butt... and now I could make the stuff come out by myself. Did it get any better than that? Yeah, it could... and all it took was for my father to say something to me that, today, was one of the most useless things he'd ever said to me: Never put your mouth on a girl's pussy. Huh? I was totally and completely baffled; what the hell is he talking about? Sure... I knew about sucking dick and my mother's warning about not letting a girl - in particular - do that was very, very late since both boys and girls were sucking my dick. I had gone outside, trying to wrap my head around what my father had said when I ran into my sister, who immediately saw something wasn't right with me and asked me what was wrong. And I told her what our father had just told me and even she asked, "Why would he say that?" before saying, "Let's find out!" We got back home and our father was gone; he'd left a note saying he was going to work and for us to stay in until our mother got home from work - perfect! We went to her room and kinda got undressed and there I was, with my face right in my sister's crotch - it smelled really good, too - but trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. "Maybe you should kiss it?" she offered so I did.. then I licked it on the outside - hmm, that tastes kinda good! My tongue slipped into that place I knew my dick went into... and I gagged so hard that I almost threw up. Okay, that was weird but I stuck with it even though my stomach was churning and my head was spinning like a top. My tongue touched that... bump I'd seen in a girl's pussy - and the result was electric. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]A few days later, shit - I got hit by a car and, in retrospect, it's a miracle I didn't get killed. I did look both ways before dashing across the street and the next thing I knew, I felt something hit me and I went rolling down the street and when I recovered some of my senses, I was lying against a telephone pole with a whole lot of adults standing over me. The couple that hit me took me to the hospital, my father showed up and I got some stitches for the first time... and a root beer float when Mr. Softee came around. I couldn't go out to play but my "girlfriend" came to see me and we wound up doing it right there in the living room and in the window seat; living on the third floor of the building, I loved sitting there and looking out at the area from such a high vantage point. So we're doing it, it's feeling good... then something was wrong; my heart was beating really fast, I was sweating like never before; I was breathing hard and fast, my vision was blurry and I just knew I was dying! The feeling almost made me pass out - what was wrong with me? - then, just as fast as it hit me, it was gone. I was dizzy, felt weak... but I could hear my girlfriend saying over and over, "You did it! You did it!" I did what? What did I do? I didn't even know what just happened! I remember pulling away from her, trying to stop my head from spinning when she said, "Look!" while pointing down between her legs... and I saw a whole lot of kinda white stuff there coming out of her hole. I was still confused and she said, "You shot the baby making stuff in me! Do it again!" The baby making stuff! Been hearing about that, too! Again, things just clicked in my head as I did as she asked and shot more baby making stuff inside her. It made having sex with my peers that much more exciting and made me very popular because I was the first among us to shoot the baby making stuff. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I discovered sex when I was eight and when, at my eighth birthday party, a girl who didn't have a present for me took me into the huge hallway closet (that had a secret space in it) and showed me how to do it to her. It was weird but so wonderful at the same time. After that day, I was on a quest to do it to as many girls I could and while some girls were too scared, many others weren't. No sperm coming out but, boy, did doing it give me a really good and tingly feeling. Then, one day, a friend and I were playing in my apartment, got to tussling with each other, and my dick - and his - was very hard and painfully so. I mean, I'd never felt anything like that before and we stopped tussling, my friend asked me what was wrong and asked, "Is your dick hard?" I said it was and he said, "Wanna see something?" I said I did and he pulled his pants down (that's when I saw his dick was hard, too) and he took his fingers and started moving them up and down on his dick and, at one point, he got this dreamy look on his face, shuddered like he was cold - then he was okay and said, "You try it!" I did; felt that good, weird, tingly feeling wash over me and the pain I had been feeling - and almost had me in tears - just vanished. Well, that was new! We spent some time "playing" with each other's dick and making each other feel good. At the time, I didn't think much about it although I had been hearing that we shouldn't be messing with that thing between our legs but, okay, what was that about? I think a few days later - and when my father saw me scratching my crotch - I'd been outside running around and got all sweaty and itchy - and he told me to stop before I went blind. I'd said, "But it itches!" and he just said, "Oh, well, okay, then..." But all scratching the literal itch did was make me go in my room and play with myself until I got the good feeling... a few times. I didn't know what it was called but all I cared about was it felt good and that I was being "bad" by doing it. I turned nine... and sucked a man's dick and he did it to me... and I was in heaven! By this time, I had been doing it to girls left and right, had heard that boys could do it to each other - and mostly from "eavesdropping" on the adults when they were talking and how nasty it was. Before that moment, I remember asking my father what a "faggot" was... and he went ballistic! Where did I hear that word? And me, like a dummy, told him that I heard his friends talking about it. Stern warnings about never doing anything like sex with a boy which didn't really make any sense to me, well, not until I got introduced to it a few days later. And it all clicked in my head; I now and better understood that sex thing I'd hear the adults talking about in hushed tones but that experience had me asking, "How can something that feels so good be so bad?" [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It is and always been assumed that kids who experiment really don't know what they're doing or why they're doing it and for the most part, that tends to be true... but not always. Ya might not exactly know how to do something... but you damned well have an innate knowledge of what you're doing even if the why of it doesn't make sense... except, maybe, that it sounds like it'll be fun and naughty and in defiance of being told never to do such a thing. It's a reality we don't want to accept but I think because we're aware that there's not much that can be done to prevent it, it's easier to turn a blind eye to it because, wow, just telling them to go ahead and experiment with each other sounds even more fucked up, doesn't it? So maybe it's really a thing of it being the lesser of two evils, to "allow" it or even anticipate it while, at the same time, being totally against it happening as as morality says we have to be. Both my brother and sister are dead now and I have a lot of fond memories of them and, yeah, a lot of them are about the many times we had sex with each other. I could make myself deny that it happened or make up a bunch of shit to "explain" it away and, perhaps, as if I didn't want anything to do with any of it. And I'd be lying to myself. I can honestly say that I didn't want to... at first... and did it anyway. If I had known that telling my sister about that thing my father said would have resulted in me eating her, maybe I wouldn't have mentioned it... but that sentiment will never change the fact that I did mention it and I went along with it when she said, "Let's find out!" It doesn't change the fact that she revealed to me that she had been wanting to have sex with me and I was really surprised to hear that and when I asked he why, all she said was, "Because I trust you and I love you and if I couldn't trust you, who could I trust?" A disturbing topic. But real life shit and I have the nerve to speak on it because it is real life shit. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Like the brothers in my extended family. I knew the older brother was having sex with his younger brother and I didn't find myself intervening until the younger brother came to me and told me that his brother was forcing him to have sex and, yep - I jumped in his brother's ass big time about that. I told him, truthfully, that brothers doing it to each other was so normal it was expected to happen... but if you try to force the issue, this is where the line has to be drawn and I told him that if I hear about this again, it was seriously gonna suck to be him. If he wanted to have sex with his brother, he'd better ask and if he says no, don't even go there. Did they stop? No, they didn't and I knew it. Expected it to go on a bit longer. I know my own two sons were at it with each other and while I never caught them at it, I did catch them after the fact - trying to clean up their act and behave like they hadn't being doing what I knew they had obviously done. And I said something to them about it. I knew they were screwing their sister and didn't intervene until she complained about it and I read them the riot act right along with a guarantee that if she complained to me again, someone was going to really and seriously get hurt - and they knew I meant it. Bothersome? You have no idea how much that bothered me but, at the same time, I also knew what the deal was and how powerless parents were and are and their only hope being that their kids obey the edict to never have sex with each other while hoping that if they do, nothing bad is going to happen. We attach so much shame to this and I'd say understandably so since we eventually learn, as adults, what can go wrong about any of it and more so if we, ourselves, experienced sex in this way. It's a weird mindset that invokes "do as I say, not as I might have done when I was your age" and I've heard a lot of parents rant and rave against this and saying that their kids would never do such a thing... and I've told some that if you believe that, well, you're clearly the most clueless person on the planet. All you can really do is hope that they don't experiment with and on each other but I've also heard some parents say that they'd rather their kids find out about sex at home than to find out about on the streets... and that doesn't always mean giving their kids a lesson in sex education and revealing the truth about sex - the way it can be versus the way it's supposed to be. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]That friend I mentioned earlier? Well, they got caught one day and my friend's father killed him. Not because he was fucking his sister but he had gotten her pregnant and from what his sister had told me - after the funeral - was that she wanted him to get her pregnant and that they understood how much of a problem it was gonna be... but clearly neither of them figured on the brother losing his life. So it's not as if there aren't some very bad outcomes in this because there has been... but most of time? Nothing bad happens and as long as the sex remains consentual and, after a certain age, the common sense precautions are being handled. Most get into it, have fun with it and then just leave it alone going forward and, even in my youth, I had suspected that most adults "allowed" it as long as nothing bad happened and they weren't careless enought to get caught in the act. I had realized that it was pretty stupid for us to think that we were up to something that our parents didn't know about and we were getting away with it... because chances were, they knew and we weren't really getting away with anything. Even the night my mom caught me and my brother fucking and gave me a tongue-lashing I will never forget, I realized that while she was very angry, she wasn't in the least bit surprised although it did take me a little while to notice that. It didn't stop us but if nothing else, it confirmed what I had suspected: Parents knew we might do it even after telling us not to do it and now, for them, it was all about how it was going to go, how long it was going to happen and keeping a eye out for any complaints or signs of coercion. And the "scary" part? I realized that if/when I had children, they were going to do the same thing and I would be a total idiot to think that they wouldn't. Only then did I understand what my parents had to deal with and understanding that you're almost powerless to prevent it while also understanding that, well, it's just nature running its course and driven by hormones. Of course, it's not to be "condoned" and especially between brother and sister but between brothers? It's gonna happen... or it won't and if it does, all you can do is hope that no coercion was involved and being reported. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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