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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I couldn't deny that I loved having sex with men and my live-in lover actually got on my nerves at one point with how much he wanted sex from me but I chilled that attitude because when you're in love, having tons of sex is just part of the deal... but it didn't help me answer the question and a question that I felt was taking me way too long to answer.

It wasn't until one night I was dick deep in my wife when I realized that, duh, if I were gay, would I really be enjoying filling her with dick? I remember busting a nut in her, pulling out, and going back down on her, tasting my own spunk as it flowed out of her when the voice that asked the question spoke up and said, "Um, no, you're not gay at all!"

It had taken me almost two years to answer the question and I was quite pissed with myself because had I been paying attention to what I was doing more than I was worrying about the "Am I really gay?" question, I could have answered it and as soon as the question was asked since, um, I had just finished fucking my wife and had a grand time doing it.

But it did make me pay more attention to what I was doing and why. One night, we invited my lover to our bed because, for one, we both loved him and, two, we both thought it was strange that a gay man wanted to know what pussy tasted like and, according to my wife, he didn't do bad going down on her and even he admitted that she, as a woman, wasn't a slouch when it came to sucking dick. At one point during this grand experiment, I was deep inside her and sucking my lover's cock and noticed what I was doing and, importantly, how he was clinging to her and even fondling her boobs and my mind said, "See, if you were really gay, you wouldn't be enjoying any of this, would you?"

Later, while she slept, my lover and I were up talking about this event and even he had wondered if he was as gay as he knew himself to be; he even said, "I can see why you like pussy so much! It's so different than what I've been used to!" But we both agreed that, no, I wasn't really gay any more than he was bi and it put the question to bed for good.

I just never figured out why it took my so long to question my real sexuality and why it took so long to answer it other than, as I said, not paying attention to what I was doing all along.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I'd been throwing it down with boys/men and girls/women so much that it never dawned on me to question my sexuality and more so after an early trip to the public library taught me the word, "bisexual" and had me saying to myself, "So that's what I've been doing!"

But when I was 20 - and after back to back to back days of running into guys who wanted to suck, fuck, or both, I'd just finished screwing the daylights out my wife and as she lay there dozing, a voice in my head asked, "Hey, are you gay?"

The question had never crossed my mind before so it hit me pretty hard; it made me backtrack a lot of years and look at my sexual behavior closely and in ways I'd never done before... and I was very bothered by what I saw in my memories and, in particular, how stupidly easy it was for a guy to get me to have sex with him and, as I've shared, all a guy had to do was pull his dick out and look at me and I'd be all over it. Ask me if I wanted to do it and the answer was always, "Yeah!" and even if, after the fact, I was asking myself if it was that great an idea to do it with this guy.

The question plagued me, distracted me as I searched for a definitive answer... but not paying one bit of attention to the fact that since my wife and I had given each other permission to do things with other people, I was really getting "more than my fair share" of cunt and cock and just as I'd been doing all along.

Then I fell in love with a guy and it was magical and so very intense... and the question burned a hole in my mind even though I found myself doing double duty, making love with him and my wife damn near every day and that didn't really include those days when my love and lover would pounce on me to suck my dick and just because he knew I'd want it and he could do it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]In the morning, wow, he got up and I was also awake and didn't miss the confused look on his face or the fact that he did a double take or two or three looking at me. I faked like I was just waking up and spoke to him as if nothing had happened and enjoying the look on his face that was telling me that he knew something had happened - he just didn't know if it was real or imagined.

And I was still pissed off enough that I wasn't gonna say a word even if he asked. All during getting washed and dressed and him fixing breakfast, he's looking at me as if trying to figure out if I had done what he was thinking I may have done, like he somehow knew he had gotten sucked off but, again, couldn't figure out if he had been dreaming or not... and I sat there looking as innocent as anyone could be. I could tell he wanted to ask me something and I was sitting there deciding to confess to the deed... or to act like I had no idea what he was talking about. He never asked, though and I knew it was fucking with him to not know or be able to confirm whether he had been dreaming...

Or that his oldest boy had sucked his dick and made him cum. To be honest, I think he eventually figured it out; I'd run into him in my travels around the city and he always looked like he wanted to ask me something about that night but he never did ask. A lot of years later, I did ask him, you know, just being "curious," why he said what he said that night and, at first, he acted like he didn't remember what he said - but I knew that he did but he eventually said that he wanted to assure me that he didn't have any homosexual thoughts about me or make me feel uncomfortable about sleeping in the same bed with him.

I just said, "Oh, okay, Dad - see ya later, okay?" I started to tell him what I'd done and why I did it - well, as much as I understood it but I didn't. He knew what I'd done that night; he was a drunkard but he wasn't a stupid man and I knew he'd figure it out but it was now a matter of whether or not he was ever going to say anything to me about it. But I got to taste the sperm that made me, the ultimate of tastes...[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]This was, without any doubt, the nastiest thing I'd ever done (or would ever do again) and I was caught up in between being very concerned about this... and not giving a fuck. He was oozing pre-cum almost like a fountain and I found the taste of it to be... curious. It was a bit salty but also quite sweet and the smart part of my brain said it was because of the booze, which is just a complex sugar so that it was sweet-tasting was fine.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]It's hot and I'm sweating like a fiend, resisting the urge to leap into "full suck mode" and treat his dick like any other I'd suck but, nah, waking him up would still be very bad. He's rambling on and on and even muttered his alcoholic girlfriend's name, something that almost made me laugh but I was determined to get even with him for that "no funny stuff" comment.

He's thrusting into my mouth and I just stayed as still as I could and I could tell he was about to cum and I wanted him to and, in a way, I was hoping that as he busted his nut, he'd wake up and find out it was me blowing him - that would serve him right, wouldn't it? Funny stuff indeed!

He grunted and his whole body got as stiff as his dick was as he cut loose a pretty good first shot, followed by a whole lot of spunk and I made it all disappear. I felt so nasty and wicked as I finished him off until I felt him getting soft. I released him and I felt so good... yet so goddamned guilty that I almost jumped up to put my clothes back on and leave. But that evil part of me said I should stay and see what happens in the morning and before I dropped off to sleep, I spent some time beating my meat until I blew a pretty big load for me.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I gave my father a blow job, not because he wanted it or "made" me do it but out of sheer spite and because of something he said that I took offense to but don't ask me why it offended me because I really don't know why.

My parents had separated and mostly due to his alcoholism and chronic unemployment because he couldn't stay out of the bottle long enough to get and keep a job. I went to visit him where he stayed with his new girlfriend and her slew of children and agreed to spend the night with him. By the time everyone was ready for bed, he was in his usual state of being seriously drunk; we opened up the sofa bed and he explained that because there were so many people in the tiny apartment, we'd have to share the sofa bed and I was fine with that. We both stripped down to our underwear and got into bed and just as we were settling in, he said, "Don't worry - ain't gonna be no funny stuff!"

And it somehow pissed me off - again, I still don't know why it did. He's lying there snoring and I'm wide awake and more pissed off than I'd ever been; he turns over onto his back, muttering something, and the sheet comes off of him and I look over and saw his very hard dick sticking out of his underwear and, well, the devil jumped all over me. I said to myself, "No funny stuff, huh?" leaned over, grabbed his dick, and sucked the knob into my mouth. I knew he wasn't going to wake up and beat me within an inch of my life; when he was that drunk, we could have had a major earthquake and he wouldn't have woken up.

It was scary but so exciting at the same time; as I worked my mouth on his dick, I was thinking that I was sucking on the dick that participated in giving me life and if things continued to go well, I'd soon be tasting the same sperm he'd put into my mother that conceived me. There were all kinds of "alarms" going off in my head as I got bolder and sucked more of his big dick into my mouth and my focus was divided; one "eye" on what I was doing and one "eye" on him for any signs that he was waking up. Again, I knew for a fact that if he woke up, my ass was going to be grass big time.

He was moaning unintelligent things as I sucked him; that automatic reaction kicked in that had him fucking into my mouth and, getting even more bold, I cupped his balls gently to kinda "urge" him to put more of his dick into my mouth. I was enjoying it... but I was still very pissed off at the same time.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It made sense to me and it still does today. I often feel embarrassed to think about how easy it was for someone to have sex with me; I don't remember ever telling someone that I didn't want to do it. Sometimes, all a guy had to do was show me his dick and I wanted to suck it and have it in me and if a girl wanted to do it, I'd practically fall all over myself to get us naked so I could lick her pussy and stick it in her somewhere; a lot of girls preferred to be fucked in the ass to preserve their virginity and to avoid getting pregnant; it was a thing for parents to drag their daughter in and have a doctor verify that she hadn't been having sex and they'd do it in a heartbeat if they thought she was.

Not so much with boys, though, which made it "safer" for us to have sex with each other since, um, there was nothing to check on us except to make sure our nuts had dropped down like they were supposed to. Otherwise, we could suck and fuck each other with near impunity and the only real worry was getting caught in the act... and even if that did happen, it didn't stop things and, perhaps, as parents thought it would.

I enjoy reading about the guys who, like me, got started early...[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]For me, learning about M2M sex was the greatest discovery since fire and I'm glad that I learned about it early and while my mind was still malleable and eager to learn things, that and it was so much fun to be able to be around or find other guys my age who wanted to find out about sucking and fucking each other and more so when such things, at least for me, made it easier to have sex with girls but it's not always easy to make them happy when you have sex with them.

But boys didn't have that problem. Once a guy got past being afraid of it, he'd take to it like a duck to water even though he'd know the penalties and punishments he could face if he ever got caught doing it with another boy - you just didn't really care about that even though those punishments could be pretty bad. To be able to get naked with another guy and spend time sucking on each other's dicks and/or fucking each other just always felt like the most right "wrong thing" two boys could do and, again, knowing that you shouldn't be doing this didn't stop anyone from doing it and, indeed, made doing it feel even better.

When I used to go visit relatives in Virginia, my god, my cousins there were even "nastier" than I was. With a male and female cousin I used to stay with, I was surprised - but not really surprised - to learn that they'd been having sex with each other for a very long time so when they invited me to join them one day - and when I accidentally stumbled across their hideout used for sex, I didn't hesitate to accept. They took turns sucking my dick until I came - they were surprised that at the ripe old age of 10, I was already shooting spunk. My male cousin and I took turns fucking his sister's mouth, cunt, and ass and she was so very eager to have all of her holes used by us and, in between, my male cousin and I sucked and fucked each other silly. We spent all day out in the woods on their property getting to know each other sexually and I was worried that the adults would be very suspicious that we'd been gone all day and what we were up to.

And they weren't, which also surprised me. When we finally came in, all my cousins said was that they had been showing me around and the adults didn't say shit about it. I had wondered why so the next day I asked them about that and they told me that their parents knew they were fucking, told them to be careful (read this as don't get her pregnant), and that they couldn't do it in the house.

We got my sister in on the deal and she was more than eager to join in and, well, it was just a lot of fun even though I knew that if my mom or grandmom caught us, we'd be dead meat. When we weren't fucking, we were talking about it and it was my country cousins who "taught" me that we weren't experimenting - we were practicing for later on in life.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]A lot of guys get started early with dick by "experimenting" with other boys or getting introduced by older males and there's nothing wrong or abnormal about it; where we like to foist off this behavior as experimentation, it's probably more like practicing those things that we'll be doing later in life: Having sex. While it's preferred that we have sex only with women, women are raised to not have sex unless some very strict conditions are met and while we are told of these same conditions, eh, we don't always wait for them to appear; we want to get into this sex thing and the easiest way to do it is with other boys.

Parents are often shocked to discover that their male children have been "secretly" doing each other, not because they don't know that male children do this but they never think that their children would ever do such a thing with each other and this level of disbelief continues to exist today but, again, gets played off by saying it's just experimentation or, worse, inferring that youngsters don't know what they're doing.

While young guys aren't experienced in things sexual as their adult counterparts, some of us might be in one of those early moments and can admit that we didn't know what we were doing when a friend, brother, cousin, uncle, whatever, stuck their dick in our mouth... but we figured out real fast what to do, didn't we?

A lot of guys feel a great deal of shame because they got started early playing with dick; it's true that a lot of guys who were coerced or forced to participate got traumatized by being an unwilling participant... but there seems to be an innate curiosity inside us that, more often than not, makes us willing to check this out and find it very much to our liking.[/SIZE][/FONT]