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My emergence as a male bisexual in the mid 1960s was done in turbulent times that I believe influenced not only my sexual behavior but the behaviors of those around me; as an adult, I would come to understand that when there are hard and very stressful times, people want to have sex and while there wasn't a lot of stress on me except having to go to school, I and my peers were... products of our environment and having sex was just a favorite pastime for us and, yeah, if you were having sex with someone you knew you had no business having sex with, well, that made it more enjoyable and just like the fear of getting caught seemed to do for me and the rest of the cadre I grew up with.

And learning a lot about having sex and that despite all the rules, every- and anyone was fair game. I'm not kidding when I say that all a guy had to do was show me his dick and... I wanted it. Badly. And knowing that they knew that I wanted it really bad. While having sex with girls was, I'll say, the ultimate pleasure, sucking a guy's dick, swallowing his cum, and being fucked by him was a very close second and even better when we'd turn it around and now I'm the one being sucked and squeezing my dick into tight assholes and fucking until that pleasantly warm and good feeling would wash over me that would make me sigh or moan, take a deep breath, and keep right on fucking whoever I was fucking.

I thought that it didn't get any better than this and... I was wrong. Puberty paid me an early visit and... true ejaculation. Holy shit! Thought I was dying that first time but the girl I creamed was over the moon because I could shoot the baby-making stuff and from there, a lot of girls wanted me to shoot it in their pussies or their asses - but not so much in their mouth but that was okay because I had a lot of male friends who were jealous that I was shooting and they weren't - but they wanted my stuff in their mouth and ass and now... it really didn't get any better than this, well, not until I grew into adulthood and playing the "adult version" of the sex game.

Anyone. Almost anywhere. Any time. I think back about the adults I had sex with and... I understand it from them being drunk to being under stresses of the day that only adults were really aware of and including relationship strife and... I sucked a lot of adult dick and they were important in opening my ass up so that I could get more than the head of a dick in me and just the sheer nastiness and wrongness of it was a thrill to end all thrills.

And just when I didn't think things could get any better, I... learned about eating pussy and my older sister was very keen to find out why a boy shouldn't put his mouth on her down there and as a result of my father telling me to never do it and to this very day, I say he was wrong about that. Now I'm having sex with my brother and my sister and, sure, we knew we shouldn't and we knew that if we were to get caught, there would be more than hell to pay and... we didn't care all that much. It was fun and convenient to have sex with each other when we were stupidly horny and... we trusted each other more than the peers we were having sex with. I had concerns about filling my sister's pussy with cum and her waving it off and saying that as long as I didn't knock her up, there wasn't a problem and then told me to get to eating and fucking her and stop playing around.

In the beginning, the rush to have sex was powerful once I learned that you can do it with both boys and girls. I'd say that the "advantage" of becoming sexually active at a young age is that you don't tend to run into the inhibitions that adults eventually develop although, yeah, always the warnings about not having sex - and me being the kid I was, wondering why I'm being told not to do something that until it was mentioned, I had no idea what sex was... but a girl showed me first. Yeah, no idea what to do and all that but she showed me and fast learner over here.

Running around and trying to convince girls to let me do it to them was more fun than frustrating because a lot of girls wanted to but, yeah, had to play games with them like "House" and having to endue tea parties and mud pies but in the end, it was worth it to be able to slide my prick into their kitty cat and hump away until we both got tired.

Then... dick and the baby-making stuff - aka, cum - and it changed everything and opened my eyes in ways that I didn't understand... but I needed to because if something bothered me back in these early days, it was feeling like I was the only one who liked having sex both ways and, as an adult, kicking myself a little because I was so focused on this feeling that I totally missed that I was having sex with boys and girls who were also going both way but, as they say, you can't see the forest for the trees or I was too far on the inside to see the obvious.

The things I did as an adult pales in comparison to the things I did before I was a teenager - and I've done a lot of shit as an adult! The newness of sucking dick and being sucked; fucking girls and turning right around to be fucked by a boy or, yeah, someone older than I was and knowing that it was wrong and I should have been running away instead of running toward it but who knew that having sex could feel so damned good and be so much fun and, um, sometimes, profitable?

The guy did ask, "Did you feel bad about it?" and that was a question I could instantly answer: "No, not really, because he was a guy just like I was and guys do have sex with each other even if they're brothers. Plus I figured that if I was going to die and go to hell for having sex with other guys, my brother was just, again, another guy."

"I didn't know how he was having sex with other guys - I just knew he was since, sometimes, he'd come home reeking of sex and complaining about the other guys couldn't suck or fuck or acted like a little bitch to take the dick in the ass - and he would always tell me that he knew that he could come home and we could do it and get it done right," I said.

"And, as far as I know, I never failed to please him and he fucked me better than a lot of other guys did and could and, yeah, we hated each other but we also trusted each other when we had sex - it was so weird but had such meaning to me if not him."

I didn't tell the guy that we'd had sex a couple of days before he was murdered because (at the time) the pain of it was still a bit too fresh for me even though he'd been dead for five years. Instead, I asked him why he cut things off with his brother if they were going well and he said that he felt too guilty and refused to continue despite his twin's pleas. I told him that if he really care for his brother like that, what's it gonna hurt to reconnect sexually?

"What no one else knows, no one else knows," I had said with a shrug. I never found out if they did reconnect like this but, eh, his loss if they didn't because if you can't make love to and with your brother, who else knows you well enough to? And, if you don't mind, it never, ever matters...

The guy and I are both spent and sated... but he's still asking me about my brother and wondering how we could still have sex with each other despite having some major hate between us and... I didn't know how to answer him or put it into words that made sense. I did tell him what my brother had told me when I asked him this very question: "When I need some dick, you're still the best at giving it to me - but I still don't like you."

And I accepted it. I had long since reasoned that if this was the only way we could get along with each other, okay - I can live with it. I told the guy that I'd never turn him down when he came to me for sex - and he said that he wished that his brother had been like that and expressed regret that their time with each other was so short.

I meet with this guy and we really hit it off and... off to a hotel room to have carnal knowledge of each other. We spent the first hour together sucking each other off and me having to keep waving off his apologies over not being that good at sucking cock which, honestly, he wasn't that good at it but he had great enthusiasm and quickly picked up on how I was sucking him.

After sucking each other off, he had asked, "Was your brother a good cocksucker?"

"Yeah, he was," I said. "After that first time, there weren't too many days when we weren't sucking on each other's dick - he really liked swallowing my cum - and fucking each other, which was easy because we shared a bed at the time; we'd later get bunk beds and that made things a little more difficult, but we managed. He could suck me really good because he was doing it a few times a day and almost every day."

He allowed that him and his brother spent more time fucking each other than sucking; just doing that to get each other hard enough to penetrate but never as a thing to do all by itself.

"I wish that I'd been your brother," he said quietly. "I could have learned so much from you..."

We fucked; he went 'hard and fast' while I went easy and slow and he asked me if this was the way I fucked my brother and I said that it was because... that's the way we always did it even if we were in a hurry so as to not get caught.

"He always told me how much he liked feeling me inside of him," I said. "He... still had an issue about my dick being longer and fatter than his even though I had tried to explain to him how that works genetically - just because our father had a big dick didn't mean that both of us would have big dicks and, well, mine was bigger than his." It was a running joke between us but, yeah, he had some penis envy going on but that never made him less eager to have sex with me or I with him.

At first, what it was like was a pain in my ass that I didn't like one bit. He had followed me one day and saw me having sex with one of my male friends - sneakily, of course - and he started begging and bugging me to "do it to him" as well... and I refused because I knew that our parents would beat me to death.

But I eventually caved in. I thought that if I really do it to him, then that'll freak him out and he'll stop bugging me and, well, it didn't work. I had taken him to a hideout and sucked his dick; at 8, he wasn't cumming of course but in between giggling and saying that it tickled, he said that it made him feel really good. Then he sucked my dick and his only real complaint was that my dick was way bigger than his - but he got right to it and I had decided not to let him know when I was going to shoot my stuff into his mouth because if that doesn't get him off my case, I didn't know what would.

I came and he slurped it all right down and thought it was really cool that I could do it - and did I know when he would be able to? I didn't, of course, but now he wanted to fuck so I showed him where his dick was supposed to go - he couldn't get it in me, though but settled for humping me between my cheeks and... he was having fun and telling me how good it felt and was I gonna stick it in him?

He didn't flinch or cry out when I stuck it in him and fucked him until I shot my stuff (that made him giggle) and he wanted to do it more often.

I'm telling the guy about this and he's lol'ing over me being pestered by a little brother and I had to laugh about the memory. But I told him, "What it was like was... really nice and familiar and, again, despite how wrong it was and in two ways. He was always there, always wanted to have sex and we were really good with each other, but I figured it was to be expected since we knew each other so well and as brothers tend to do."

I'd "met" a guy online who was looking to do some cocksucking with a like-minded guy and one of the things I always asked guys who contacted me was how they got started in this, not so much to pry but someone's first time has always fascinated me. He tells me he first had sex with a guy when he was 24 and I was thinking, "A little late but okay!" but then he comes out and tells me that his first experience was with... his fraternal twin brother!

He tells me this and starts apologizing and saying that knowing this weirds me out, well, we don't have to do anything, and I tell him not to be ridiculous because (1) I know many guys whose first time was with their brother(s) and (2) my first time wasn't with my own brother but we got into it and were into it off and on until he died in 1985.

He had admitted that him and his twin wondered why it took them so long to do this with each other and finding out that they'd always wanted to but were afraid to mention it to each other and then said that they got busy with each other for a couple of months before giving it up for other sexual pursuits.

He asked me what it was like to have a brother as a longtime lover and, at the time, I hadn't really given it a lot of thought; we got started with it and, well, just never gave it up and despite having gotten caught by our mom. I mean, it was what it was and I was aware that having sex with him seemed to be the only time we really got along with each other - and I had told the guy this but he was really asking about how comfortable it was and other such things.

I really had to think about that aspect...

I'm less than a year short of being bisexual for six whole decades and in that time, I've... seen a lot. I've done a lot. I've learned even more. I have zero regrets about anything I've done because... I understand it all. I understand why our morality is the way it is about men having sex with each other and if anything about being bisexual is bothersome, it's how we, on the whole of things, have learned nothing about sex and sexuality and how we keep holding onto that religious bullshit.

No regrets. No guilt. I've had an amazing amount of sex with men but the biggest takeaway is what I've learned in all of these things...