[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It seemed like I couldn't go anywhere without some guy trying to pick me up or otherwise hitting on me, covertly or just blatantly like, "I like you - let's go somewhere and have sex!" About the time that HIV/AIDS hit the scene and the news about the risks was getting out, you'd think that M2M shit would grind to a halt... and it didn't. A lot of guys were very leery about fucking/being fucked but once it came out that you couldn't really catch it via oral sex, it seemed like more and more dudes were out there looking to suck dick. I remember one week in particular where I realized that I had had oral sex with no less than two guys every day for an entire week - and that included the male part of couples, too. I'd sit back and think that, okay, I know I caught the bug early on but it looked like there were even more guys who'd been bitten by the "dick bug" as well. I'd take it all in stride but I couldn't stop wondering, again, what the fuck was going on. White guys in the crept into the lead and it took me a moment to equate their interest in the explosion of interracial sex. The "taboo" against it had been defeated and, oh, my god, there were white guys coming out of the woodwork looking to have a sexual experience with Black men and, shit - my sign must have changed to include, "If you want some Black dick/ass, ask me!" Then those Hispanic guys, who had an even bigger rep of being homophobic than Black guys did, started coming my way either looking to learn the ropes or for us to slake our lust upon each other. Gay men? Holy shit. They were seriously on the hunt and especially the more effeminate ones. I had one such guy who I didn't know just sashay up to me in a crowd and said, "Come with me... I want your dick in my mouth and ass and I'm not taking no for an answer!" I asked him why - mostly out of reflex, I think, and he said, "Because I saw you first; come on, honey, let me show you something you don't know about!" Um, he found out that I knew more about this than he thought - but that's not really the point. Instead of the craving for dick dwindling away, it was growing stronger despite the threat HIV/AIDS presented. Because I drove a cab for a couple of years, I can't begin to tell you how much sex I had with both men and women... and mostly men whose idea of a tip was to gobble my dick with great enthusiasm or to be ass-up in the backseat of my cab and howling with delight as my dick reamed their hole out.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]And he wasn't the only guy in a couple who "suddenly" developed a taste for dick or, as I would find out, the reason a couple would agree to have sex with us did so because he wanted to suck dick and his wife/girlfriend wanted to eat pussy. We'd never complain about such things but we did wonder just what the fuck was going on and me more than my very bi wife. Guys do kiss and tell even when they promise not to. I discovered that a lot of guys would come knocking on my door or strolling up to me after a game because word had gotten around that if you wanted to learn about sex with a guy - or craving it - I was the guy to see; I'd have guys who I'd not ever interacted with go into "proposition mode" and finally getting around to asking if we could do something or could I show him what it's like to suck dick and swallow sperm. Their lead-in was often... hilariously lame, like the many guys who would, out of the blue, say something like, "Damn... I wouldn't mind getting my dick sucked right about now..." or "idly" wondering out loud what it would be like to have a dude go down on them or to go down on another guy... and all the while looking at me to see if I was picking up on the hints. I was... but I was learning to act as if their hints were going right over my head unnoticed. I'd have to say that my "favorite" guys were the ones who chose not to employ... stealth methods and they'd just come right out and say, "Look, man, could you show me what it's like to suck dick?" or "I'm not gonna bullshit you - I wanna suck your dick and want you to suck mine!" Some guys were bolder in that they really wanted to sink their dick into my ass... or, as one bold dude said, "I need your dick in my ass; you gonna give it to me or what?"[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]And sometimes, I'd wind up learning, [I]specifically[/I] me, which made me a bit paranoid and had me thinking if I had a sign on me that said, "If you want some dick/ass, this is the guy you need to see about it!" I mean, what was it about me that would tell another guy that if he wanted a first experience or another one, yep - I was the guy to see about taking care of that? I still don't know right to this very day but I kinda reasoned that at that time, a lot of dudes were in dire need of sex for various reasons and every dude was fair game. Add on that I've always been an easy person to talk to about anything and a good listener and maybe those things would tell a guy that he could reveal his desires without and drama. I didn't know. Still don't know. Between, oh, 1976 and 1985, I gave a lot of guys their very first experience with dick as well as engaging with guys who were, um, in the game earlier but were now returning and as I had found out in my youth, it wasn't a localized kind of thing because guys all over the city and its suburbs were on the prowl to learn about dick and/or to get back into the swing of things. It got so... "bad" that I'd often wind up turning guys down, some because their vibe didn't feel right and many more because there weren't enough hours in a day to accommodate them; because my wife (at the time) and I had opened up our marriage, a lot of my "sex time" was blocked off so that we could have three- and foursomes with other people and couples... and even in those situations and at the very least, dicks would get sucked and not just by women. I am still... shocked over the day my best friend and his girlfriend wanted to have sex with us and under the guise of him learning how to eat pussy. At one point, my wife and his lady were teaming up to blow him as I sat back and watched; the next thing I knew, his head was bobbing up and down on my dick as if his life depended on it. It shocked me because I knew this guy like I knew my own brother; I just didn't know that, probably in the heat of the moment, he'd do something like that.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=courier new][FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]There was an... ebb between making the transition from youth to adult. I say "ebb" rather than "lull" because it was still stupidly easy to get your hand and mouth on a dick, well, it was for me anyway. Still, I found there were less guys hitting on me, not that it was disappointing or a problem - it was just something I had noticed and the few guys from the old neighborhood that I had been able to stay in touch with said pretty much the same thing. Then, oh, around the late 1970s, things started to pick up again and in the form of "new guys" wanting to find out what it was like to have sex with another dude... and I mean a lot of new guys and where I now lived, I knew most of them because they were either neighbors or, often, guys I'd play basketball with at the park across the street from my house. Some guys would kinda hem and haw without much success; it was just too easy for me to figure out why we'd be talking about one thing and then the guy is fumbling with his words, dropping "hints" that Stevie Wonder could see, and just making themselves look silly. It would make me ask myself - and, then, maybe ask them, "Why don't you just say/ask what you want to say/ask?" Some guys were more... direct. Even then, their transition from us talking about something to talking about this was often not so smooth - but smoother than the guys who, all of a sudden, couldn't speak English. I had figured out that a lot of guys who were very busy in their younger days were growing out of it or just focusing their lust solely on women so I'd often find myself getting surprised by guys who, at least in public, were totally against men having sex with men but privately? Into it up to their eyeballs... or wanting to be. I learned to be "suspicious" with any guy I played ball with who would come by and want to talk to me outside of playing ball and my suspicions would usually be confirmed to find out that they wanted to play a different kind of ball with me.[/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It happens; it has always happened and will continue to happen and maybe because nature itself just will not be denied? It doesn't always go wonderfully well and sometimes it's all that and there's nothing that comes close to what it's like to have sex with your brother or your favorite male cousin who is probably just as close to you as a brother would be. I know way too many guys who got started with cock in this fashion; I know how they felt about it, how much it both scared and delighted them and even how long it took some guys to get over any... trauma and to realize that, okay, maybe it didn't happen in a good way... but it was both good and bad to have sex with each other, whether it was a one-time thing or something that became a matter of routine, as it were. You knew, if nothing else, that if you struck out with the ladies, there was this one guy who'd not only understand how fucked up that could be but he'd be more than willing to, ah, help you get over it. It's not supposed to happen... yet it does. Lots of shame associated with this but I'll tell you the one thing I learned - other than this ain't nothing new - is that there's little shame to be had when brothers do what they both want to do. Sadly, some guys do get forced into it and it becomes the well-heralded nightmare everyone says the "I" word is... but not always and that's the part no one ever wants to talk about or admit to. It just is what it is and if nothing else, I think, because that brotherly bond is already there, it almost makes sense in a weird sort of way. You know this guy. Lived with him. Seen him naked more times than you can count. And, yeah, maybe you've seen him naked and wondered what it would be like to play with his dick but, nah, you're not gonna say anything because he just might get offended and punch you in the fact or maybe even run and tell mom and dad what you proposed to him. And that does happen... but I don't think it "always" happens as a matter of course because some weird kind of "logic" says that if you wanna do it with him and he wants to do it with you, well, no harm, no foul... Just don't get caught.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]"We both thought they did," he replied. "Ha - we both knew that just because neither of them would say anything about something didn't mean they didn't know about it," he said. "It just made us be more careful and trying not to behave in such a way that would make one or both of them ask us what's going on with us." "But?" I asked and because the way he said it, you could hear that there was a "but" coming. "Yeah... that. One day, I was helping my dad with something when he all of a sudden asked me, "Is he making you have sex with him?" Dude... if you could have seen the look on my face! I realize now that just the way I reacted told him everything he needed to know but I was trying to act like I didn't know what he was talking about." "He obviously knew or figured it out," I said. "What did he say?" "He said that as long as he wasn't forcing me to have sex with him, well, don't let your mother find out," he said. "I thought he was going to beat the shit out of me and then go beat even more shit out of my brother... but all he said after that was that he knew that boys had to be boys." "Later, I found out that he had had a similar conversation with my brother, you know, when we had a chance to let each other know what our father had said. My brother said that dad told him that if he found out that he was forcing himself on me, he was going to kick his ass and like he'd never had his ass kicked before. My brother said that he told dad that, no, no force was involved and that it was something we both just wanted to do and agreed to." "I didn't know what to think about that," he had said, shaking his head. "I think a lot of parents know about this and some just wait to see if it becomes a problem and if it doesn't, they aren't gonna do or say anything... and maybe they know that at some point, it's just gonna stop," I said. "Shit... when our mother caught us, I knew I was gonna die and I'm never gonna forget what she said to me about it. I didn't get the terrible beating I had expected to get but, yeah, I kinda think she knew what we had been doing no matter how careful we thought we were being." "You got lucky... and I think me and my brother got lucky, too," he said. "Um, look, um, all of this got me horny as fuck - do you think we can help each other out with this?" I had to admit that us talking about this had my dick painfully hard and it was funny to watch him trying to hide his own boner. After agreeing to just suck each other off, yeah, it was very nice but it was more like... relieving the pressure of the moment, like blowing each other was a safety valve. "So when did you and your brother stop?" he had asked. "When he died," I said. "Oh, shit - I'm sorry to hear that he died!" he had exclaimed. "Shit always happens," I said, trying to not let the memory of that night come back to haunt me. "Did you and your brother finally stop?" "Uh, nope," he said. "As a matter of fact, I'm meeting with him in a few minutes so we can do a little something! I want to thank you again for letting me air my head out over this; it was hard not being able to talk to someone about it." "I understand - and there's no need to thank me," I said, getting to my feet and preparing to leave. "You're welcome to join us if you want to," he offered and, honestly? I thought about it but said, "Maybe next time."[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Now, it wasn't like I didn't already know about brothers doing each other; shit... it was pretty much routine for almost anyone with a brother to get down and dirty with each other. But it's always... fascinating to hear how others react to this, what they thought then and now, how they felt about it. After some refreshments, he went on to say that him and his brother spent the rest of their time before dinner sucking each other off until they couldn't get hard again. "It was scary as fuck... and more exciting than when I first had sex with a girl," he said. "I couldn't believe how much I was into sucking his dick! And he was clearly very much into sucking mine. Later, we were talking about it and, I dunno, we just kinda agreed that we should do that again and whenever we could. I wanted to but I was afraid to and I could tell he was thinking the same way." "Yeah... you were both probably thinking about what might happen if you got caught or your parents got suspicious, huh?" I asked. "You know it - you had to be thinking along the same lines, right?" he asked. "Of course... but the funny thing was we didn't care. Well, no - that's not quite right; we did care about getting caught - remind me to tell you about when we did get caught - but that didn't seem to matter." I said. He went on to tell me how quickly things went from them sucking each other and getting to the fucking part of things. "His dick was way bigger than mine," he had said. "Everybody knew that it hurt to get fucked in the ass and I really didn't want him to fuck me... but I wanted him to. I can't say what changed my mind about it and maybe it was him saying that if I let him fuck me, I could fuck him? I just don't know about that but what I do know was that, yeah, even after getting all slick and everything, it hurt like a bitch when he put it in my ass... and it felt really good, too." "He came in my ass... and I felt sick to my stomach... and so good it wasn't funny," he said. "Shit... when he pulled out and told me to stick it in him, I actually hurt myself rushing to do it; I realized I had somehow sprained my ankle! But I'll tell you this: I never loved my brother more than in the moment I slid my dick in his ass and came inside him. It was like it was the final step that finalized the bond between us and a bond that made us more than brothers - does that makes sense?" "It really does," I said, remembering my own thoughts and feelings. After another break to whet our whistles, he went on to tell me how it became and every day thing for them even if they'd gotten lucky with some girl and got some pussy. "Going both ways now was... exciting. It was really satisfying and, I think, more so when the dick I was getting belonged to my brother," he had said. "I felt like a freak, still felt that this shit was about as wrong as it gets... but it also felt like the right and natural thing to do - and I know you know what I mean." "Weird, ain't it?" I asked. "Did your parents suspect anything funny was going on?"[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]"My brain was all over the place," the guy had said. "I didn't remember saying yes but I guess I must have! I felt really bad and bad enough that I wanted to throw up but, at the same time, I felt good... and it took me a lot of years after that day to admit that I liked it - but that's easy to do after the fact, isn't it?" I allowed that it was and waited for him to continue. He went on to tell me how it felt when his brother came in his mouth; he had said, and I think in a joking kind of way, "He could have warned me, right?" We both laughed about that for a moment then he went on to first say that his brother thanked him for "helping him out" - and then offered to do the same for him. He said that it was weird because he wanted to and didn't want to all at the same time. "Do you know what I mean?" he asked. "I actually do," I said. He went on to say that he just nodded his reply then was kind of hypnotized to watch his brother pull his pants and underwear down - and was very surprised to find his dick was quite hard - then even more surprised when his brother started sucking his dick. "It was a bad thing to do... but, damn it, it felt so good!" he said said. In a way, he was echoing the same thing I had thought right after my first experience with a dick. "He made me cum so fast that I didn't know what hit me; man, it was both horrible and glorious all at the same time... and the bad part?" "What was that?" I asked. "I wanted to do it all over again," he said, looking down at his feet. "It was as wrong as fuck and I knew it and I knew that he had to know it, too... but it just felt right, ya know? I figured out, years later, that the one thing that stood out to me more than anything else was that I trusted him and more than I had ever really trusted anyone - does that make sense?" "It does - he's your brother; if you can't trust him, who can you trust?" I asked. Since he had shared with me, I told him how I knew what he knew, how my own brother pestered me until I caved in and did what he wanted us to do. "So you do know," he said - the look on his face was one that suggested that a great weight had been lifted from him. "Let me guess - it didn't stop after that first time, did it?" "No, it didn't," I said. "One thing I figured out was how convenient it was since we both slept in the same bed; it wasn't like I hadn't been doing it - and a lot - with other guys but, yeah - he was always right there. I trusted him but the funny thing is that much later, we kinda became bitter enemies... except when he wanted to have sex with me and my brain would tell me to tell him to fuck off... but something deeper would always say yes." "Wow," he said. "That had to be crazy!" "Like you wouldn't believe," I said. "I'm thinking that you and your brother wasn't a one-time thing either..." "Hell, no, it wasn't," he said. "Let's get something cold to drink and I'll tell you about it and. before I forget, thank you." "What are you thanking me for?" "For letting me get this off my chest and sharing your own experience with, um, with, shit... that "I" thing."[/SIZE][/FONT]
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