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Sexuality is something I feel I had struggled with all my life. Born in the 70's, all I wanted to be is normal like everyone else so I denied and suppressed anything that wasn't considered the norm, however feelings and desires kept popping in to my mind (both waking and sleeping fantasies), some of which I was happy to have, others, ashamed and it lead to an unhappy and confusing life, both sexually and mentally. I went through stages thinking I could be gay, others, straight, but didn't know what I was and it never occurred that I was somewhere in between as back then you were either straight or gay.

Since puberty I think I always realised deep down that I wasn't straight but realisation and acceptance are very much two different things. Once I made the decision to accept and embrace my sexual orientation, all the events and feelings throughout my life suddenly made sense. They should've made sense straight away but the stigma and lack of acceptance around bisexuality and basically any orientation that isn't straight was a contributing factor and still is today so like many, I remain in the closet.

Self acceptance is important for one's mental health and I am better for doing so. I'm far more happy now than I've been in a very long time. Accepting didn't mean I had to tell anyone it was just acknowledging that which most with same sex tendancies have felt for a long time, different and there's nothing wrong with being different. Everyone is different. Acceptance removed the shame and guilt I felt for having these desires or after I masturbated to same sex fantasies or gay porn. The shame was very real for me but I realised you can only fight nature for so long, nature always wins. I was born this way.

What was needed for me to start the journey, and it has been a journey was a catalyst. My catalyst was feeling a strong attraction to a friend but what helped me accept my sexuality was to put it all in writing, from the beginning to the end, answer questions of my sexual desires and feelings and what I want from my remaining years truthfully and once I did so, it wasn't difficult to see. I thought I would feel different and in some ways I do, I feel normal. Bisexual is my normal.

I love being bisexual, it gives me a sense of pride I've not had. I feel truly lucky. I believe there are many more men and women stuck in limbo just like I was who will hopefully one day find their feet. Everyone's journey is different but I hope this helps someone.