To start off I should explain that me and my boyfriend are 23 and we have been together for almost 6years now with a few breaks in the middle. He truly loves me and I have felt from the beginning that he is my true soulmate. He is a good man and I have shared and created more happy memories with him than anyone else in my life. I found out that he has been going on craigslist and emailing men in the men4men section. I found a text between him and another man where he said he's a dominant top and wants to meet up, they started to plan to meet up but it was clear that my boyfriend never ended up actually going through with it. To back track, about 2yrs ago I found similar craigslist emails with him looking to get oral from guys and couples, this was when we were together and it seemed like he never actually meet up with anyone, they were just emails. When I confronted him about it he told me he was just horney and was looking for head and the easiest way for him to get it was from a guy. He admitted to me that he had accepted head from a guy once before when we weren't together and that when it happened he closed his eyes and thought about a woman and it felt good. He told me he didn't have feelings for men in that way and he would never want to be with a man he wanted to be with a woman. At the time I broke up with him for a while but then after it seemed like everything in my life, or fate if you want to call it, was pointing me back toward him. He came back to me begging to get back together and promised me he wouldn't do anything to hurt me ever again. after a lot of internet searching I read a statistic that 30% of men have sexual encounters with other men and many of them go on to be completely strait. From what he was telling me it seemed like this was the case and so I choose to forgive him and put it behind us. I also felt that it was partially my fault because for the first 4yrs of our relationship I didn't have sex with him because I was waiting to do it when I finished college, I did oral and was still very sexual with him I just didn't have intercourse because I didn't want to get pregnant before finishing school (something that has happened to my entire family). So now here I am in our relationship which has seemed perfect lately with great sex and everything and I see this text and it seems to me that he is interested in being with a man sexually and its not just about receiving head. I don't think that he is actually cheating on me but it is difficult to deal with the fact that he has sexually urges toward men while at the same time telling me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I am trying to be open minded because I am very attracted to women myself and have done sexual things with them in my past, I still see women as attractive but just never act on it because at the end of the day I only want to be with a man. I haven't confronted him yet but I know that he is going to say that he loves me and me only and that he never actually went through with meeting any of these guys and it's not what he wants. I don't know what to do because he is my best friend and cutting off all ties with him would completely crush my life due to the fact that we have pretty much all of the same friends. Is it possible to work things out with him? This man is my soul mate and I want nothing more in my life than to grow old with him and spend every day with him. Is it possible to just be friends with him after this if I decide to end it? FYI I was just laid off from my job last week and my best friend who I live with is moving out this week to live with her boyfriend, please be kind on your responses I'm going through a tough time in life and I don't feel there is anyone i can talk to about this. If anyone has any experience with marrying a man who is bi I would really like to hear from them, or advice from older men who can speak from the other side of things.
I’m a 52 year old male, bi and I have some baggage. I went to Catholic School from the time I was 9 to 12 years old. A Priest who practiced the ultimate abuse of power abused me, like so many others. He said, “I’m testing you for Jesus.” The shithead never told the truth that he was a pedophile who got off on little boys. When I found out he was abusing my younger brother as well I finally told my parents. Incensed, they went to the Diocese. The next day the Priest was GONE. They transferred him away to another parish where he could continue his abuse and would not be found. My parents acted differently towards me from that time until they died. I don’t think the Priest made me bi, because as long as I can remember both women and men turned me on. When I would sneak looks at my Dad’s porno collection I remember fantasizing getting in bed with the couples and having sex with them both. The paradox for me is being male and bi in this society. Gay men I have met said things like, “He just hasn’t been with the right guy, yet.” No, that’s not it. Ladies I have dated have often left skid marks leaving when I told them I was bi (I’m sure AIDS paranoia had a little to do with that). My ex-wife was bi and I was fine with it, but she was NOT ok with my being bi She'd said my being bi was cool when we met and married but she acted jealous sometimes and the truth came out years later – my being Bi creeped her out. I should not have married a hypocrite, but hindsight is 20-20. Fast forward to now: I have finally embraced my bi side. I'm not looking to join anyone's family but I do want friendship, common bonds, laughter & conversation. If sex happens AWESOME... as long as the conversation & laughter can continue afterward. I'm straight-identified. I don't advertise my being Bi & I'm not out simply because I think that no one, other than those to whom I'm attracted & those who might be attracted to me, have the need or the right to know who I like to screw. I don't like the fact that it can matter to ANYONE ELSE & hence can affect my income or environment. That, in my view, is an egregious violation of my Constitutional right to privacy & therefore ILLEGAL!!! I'm not unattractive or disabled & I'm not a pervert. Yes, perversions are subjective, but I try to be GGG (Good, Giving & Game- I thank you again Dan Savage) as in, I'll be open & honest about my kinks, not demanding of my partner(s) & if it turns them on I'll consider it, within reason. At this point in my life I am set in some ways & know the things I like; but I am always open to suggestion & safe exploration. The only 4 NO's I have that are written in stone: NO Injury/blood NO Scat NO Animals (other than human) NO Children/Underage Everything else is negotiable. LOL Here it is… I love sex. I love sex with women. I love sex with men. I love sex with BiM/F couples most of all. On the Kinsey scale I am a 3.5 (slightly more straight than gay). Until God makes a cock that smells and tastes like good clean pussy, I’ll never be totally gay. The ultimate relationship for me would be in a triad with another bi male and a GGG female who might be a bit dominant. What are my chances of finding that, at 52? Slim to none. I'm ok with that. In the "Ocean of Life" I'm not fighting the waves. I'm surfing them.
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