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i'm in kind of a weird mood today felt like letting my emotions write a fantasy for me. not necessarily what i want just some thoughts that are turning me on right now. might not feel like this @ all tomorrow.

i can't wait to be with a hot guy, slowly get naked for him, have him put his arms around me tell me how attractive i am, how desirable i am, how he wants to make me his, how much he wants to make love to me. then move forward & put his lips on mine. then he slowly strips naked too. i've got so many different intense confusing feelings going on. i'm so nervous i've never done this before. this is so new & i'm still kinda unsure. plus this is still kinda taboo enjoying the touch of another man. in some ways i never thought i would ever get to this point. but i have been thinking about this day & wanting it for a long time & it's high time to have this experiance. the pleasure, the lust i'm feeling for my new same sex lover is overtaking my inhibitions & i can't deny this feels so good, so right & i allow myself to accept sexual pleasure from a man. i realize who i really am. i admit my bisexuality, in fact i'm real happy about it! for years i have let myself & society deny these feelings, somehow fooling me into thinking this is wrong. but i see the truth clear as a bell. this is not wrong. this is who i am. i like guys too & today i declare sexual independence! i feel so free in his arms, like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. now it's time to move forward on this new road that is available to me that has allways really been available to me. i look in his eyes with a determined look. i pause for awhile then say i never thought i would be saying this to another guy but tonite i offer myself to u, mind body & soul. i want u to take me completely. and that is what he does for the rest of the nite. by surrendering myself to him i am able to experiance a new passion, so intense i could never have even imagined it before. i am firmly convinced i have made the right decision. my only regret is i didn't experiance this sooner in life because i really like it! but @ least now i am familiar with a new pleasure in life. i wish every man could have such an experiance. eventually we get tired. the nite ends with little kisses on each other's lips, cheeks, neck. we snuggle up in each other's arms with big smiles on our faces & fall asleep. when i wakeup the next morning i slowly realize there is a man in my bed & we're both naked. the homosexual intimacy from last nite suddenly comes to mind. a wave of shock goes through me when i realize i have gone all the way with a guy including the ultimate act of a man's submission to another man. i am no longer the person i was yesterday when all of this was just in my mind. i have crossed that line into a new identity. i look @ him & say u were wonderfull last nite! he smiles. then i say thank u for making me a man, he says ur welcome. then our lips meet again. after they slide off each other he lets i love u slip out, but his eyes tell me he's being sincere & he doesn't regret admitting it to me. even though i have gone farther than i had ever imagined i was not prepared to hear that. i have been working on allowing myself to enjoy a nite of forbidden pleasure but i never pictured myself going beyond sexual enjoyment & falling for a guy. i'm in a weird position emotionally right now. i can't undo him being in me last nite so there's no going back. i was now fully bisexual by experiance. but going forward doesn't look like a possibility either. i never counted on the fact he could challenge me to take our intimate encounter beyond sex into deep emotional connection. it's a place i never wanted to go near. i start to think about the whole situation. last nite's experiance made me grow as a person. i now have a new awareness. this is helping me make sense of this new development. he brought out new & wonderfull feelings in me last nite. because of that we now have a deep emotional bond. no matter if we get dressed & go to the courthouse right now & get married like we can in this state (yay gay rights!) or we part ways & never see each other again. but the fact of the matter is last nite we were 1 & had a closeness that could not ever be undone. i'm beginning to realize i just gotta keep going forward & against everything i have built myself up as my whole life i see this feels right. i have a moment of serenity & confess i love u too.

I was reading about a bisexual man writing about his wife who wants a female lover. The wife decided that she was bisexual and had become involved with another married woman. After he thought about it for a few days, he realized that his wife loved him. He wanted her to have what will make her happy. He trusted her to find a balance to give them both attention. Interestingly, the wife was not comfortable with him having a male lover.

A person may take various aspects and perspectives when it comes to love. Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Attachment may be both constructive and beneficial if it doesn't become obsessive and possessive about the personal attachment. Some people have a concept that love means exclusiveness sexually (monogamy) while others do not. Monogamy is a partnership and some argue has little to do with love when the attachment becomes possessive. When a person wants to be sexually exclusive is that love or possessiveness and jealousy?

Jealousy is possessiveness. Both relate to ownership and manifesting a desire to control or dominate another. This is most negative and especially if it is inorder to limit a person's relationship with others. Some permit platonic relationships with others and some develop jealousy and possessiveness of even platonic relationships. Fewer tolerate and are comfortable with sexual relationships with others which may lead to conflict for some bisexuals.

Jealousy is an emotion that refers to negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust. Jealousy implies a triad composed of a jealous individual, a partner, and a perception of a third party or rival. Jealous reactions typically involve aversive emotions( disgust etc.) and/or behaviors that are assumed to be protective for their attachment relationships instead of perceiving the triad as beneficial to the happiness of the loved one.

Jealousy may be: a/ sexual or b/ emotional/ romantic. Romantic jealousy is the most complex of the two forms and it is a result of a threat to the self esteem of the jealous person. Romantic jealousy arouses the strongest emotional reaction. Jealousy is often reinforced as a series of particularly strong emotions and constructed as a universal human experience that may seek to privileged monogamous discourses.

Sexual jealousy may be defined as a response triggered when a significant other displays sexual interest in another person. Romantic jealousy is a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self esteem. One partner can feel the emotion of jealousy arise if the other partner is paying more attention or time with someone else. The man above was correct in stating that his wife would have balance the attention that she might give to both him and her female lover if they were to be comfortable.

Schachner & Shaer (2004) report that there are no sex difference in expression of childhood attachments and jealousy but certain adults experience jealousy as a more harmful coping mechanism than others. Jealousy plays a role in sexual attachment for some adults. Schnachner & Shaer state that emotional jealousy was found to be nine times more responsive in females than in males.

The "Love Style" of the person experiencing jealousy and possessiveness becomes a significant factor. The man above had a love style that differed from his female partner.

Love songs, love stories are created to reinforce the concept that love is an exclusionary behaviour but this construct is usually created by monosexuals and not bisexuals. We do read or hear of stories of sacrifice and love. If a person loves you they should put their own happiness aside to "prove" their love for you is quite a different approach than the husband above. In fact, he was bisexual himself and obviously revealed this to his bisexual wife thinking that they both might show their love by offering what may make each happy. In that respect, some may argue that he was not really sacrificing. He was as she wanted the freedom but refused to grant him the same. Why should you have to sacrifice your freedom on the guise of love if your partner is interested in your happiness? It seems like a Catch 22.