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Coming to terms with one's sexual orientation, including being bisexual, is a personal and often transformative journey. It's essential to be patient and compassionate with yourself during this process. Here are some steps that may help you come to terms with being bisexual:

Self-Acceptance: Acknowledge and accept your feelings and attractions without judgment. Remember that being bisexual is a valid and natural sexual orientation.

Educate Yourself: Learn more about bisexuality and its various forms. Understanding that bisexuality exists along a spectrum can help you recognize the diversity of experiences within this orientation.

Seek Support: Reach out to supportive friends, family members, or members of the LGBTQ+ community who can provide understanding and empathy. Connecting with others who have similar experiences can be empowering.

Find Resources: Read books, articles, and blogs about bisexuality to gain insights and perspectives from others who have gone through a similar journey.

Speak with a Professional: Consider talking to a counselor or therapist who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues. Professional support can be valuable in navigating complex feelings and emotions.

Explore Your Feelings: Take time for self-reflection and explore your feelings without pressure. Understanding your attractions and desires can lead to a deeper understanding of your identity.

Challenge Internalized Bias: Be aware of any internalized negative beliefs or societal biases you may have about bisexuality. Challenge these beliefs and replace them with positive affirmations.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this process. Accept that it's okay to have questions and uncertainties, and remember that self-discovery is an ongoing journey.

Find Role Models: Look for positive role models who identify as bisexual and have embraced their identity. This can provide inspiration and reassurance.

Celebrate Your Identity: Embrace your bisexuality as an integral part of who you are. Celebrate the diversity and richness it brings to your life.

Be Patient: Coming to terms with your sexual orientation may take time, and that's okay. Allow yourself the space to grow and evolve.

Remember that the process of coming to terms with your sexual orientation is unique to each individual. Be kind to yourself throughout this journey, and know that it's okay to seek support from others. You are not alone, and many people have gone through similar experiences and found acceptance and peace with their identities.

Sexual orientation, including bisexuality, is a complex and multifaceted aspect of human identity that varies from person to person. It is essential to recognize that sexual orientation is not a choice; rather, it is believed to be influenced by a combination of biological, genetic, hormonal, environmental, and psychological factors. Sexual orientation emerges and develops over time, often during adolescence and early adulthood.

When it comes to bisexuality specifically, it refers to individuals who experience attraction to both genders, regardless of whether they are male or female. It is important to note that bisexuality is just as valid and natural as any other sexual orientation.

The reasons why some men may identify as bisexual can vary and are unique to each individual. Some possible factors that could contribute to a man identifying as bisexual include:

Sexual Attraction: Men may experience genuine and authentic attractions to both men and women.

Fluidity of Sexuality: For some individuals, sexual orientation may not fit into rigid categories like heterosexual or homosexual, and they may experience a degree of fluidity in their attractions.

Understanding of Self: As people explore their feelings and attractions, they may come to understand their sexual orientation better.

Social and Cultural Influences: Social and cultural factors, such as attitudes towards sexuality, acceptance, and visibility of diverse sexual orientations, can play a role in how people perceive and express their sexual orientation.

Individual Experiences: Personal experiences and relationships can also shape and influence one's understanding of their sexual orientation.

It is essential to avoid generalizations and assumptions about why someone identifies as bisexual or any other sexual orientation. Every person's journey of self-discovery and understanding of their sexuality is unique and valid.

Lastly, it is crucial to support and respect individuals' autonomy and self-identification when it comes to sexual orientation. Everyone deserves acceptance and understanding as they navigate their identities and experiences.

Regrets, we all have a few, some we'll divulge willing, others we will take to our graves. For me, today, I don't regret for one second being bisexual but that wasn't always the case. Growing up I didn't know why I liked cock, I just did. I thought it was grossly unfair and I wanted to be normal like the rest of my friends. I now realise that normal is boring.

Over time that regret shifted, partly due to some of the stories on the forums and from what I have heard from other friends. Many teenage boys experiment sexually with other boys. Boys will be boys, however this boy never really had the opportunity. It's simply something that didn't seem to exist when I was a teenager and lord knows, I was definitely horny enough. I firmly believe had I caught some same-sex action (anal or oral, it probably wouldn't have mattered) during his pivotal period in my life then my sexuality wouldn't have been such an issue for most of my life.

This was obviously something that was out of my control, if there are no willing partners there are no willing partners. The closest I ever came was watching porn with a friend. It required one of us to start masturbating but I was too shy so it was never going to be me and I think he was waiting for me to start. Stalemate, but doubt masturbation, unless mutual, would've had the desired effect. I regret that, I should've flopped it out.

I regret not at least letting the dirty horny teenager inside of me out. That way at least I was "advertising". Someone needs to be the instigator.

I regret not playing with my anus as a teenager. I have always had a fascination with that area and felt it was a two-way street but never had the guts to stick anything up there until my forties. What a waste.

I regret not saying "yes" many years ago when I was asked if I was "bisexual or gay". I lied. That denial thing again. Lying made it that much harder to accept.

I regret not sleeping naked from my teens. I didn't discover this until I was 34, however I've slept topless since 14 or 15. Naked is the only way now regardless of season or who is in the house. I secretly feel like I hope to be seen. I'm a bit of an exhibitionist.

I regret not working out my body issues until I was 30. I love being naked but body issues kept me from showing any part of my body in public or even on a platform such as this forum. I've posted pictures of my ass, cock and chest and whilst there still is a moment of angst doing so I've accepted that no body is perfect, least of all mine.

As an adult, I had one friend offer to suck my cock but I hadn't accepted my sexuality, still in denial even though I was hard as a rock when I read the message and very much wanted it. My brain just couldn't get passed it even though I knew I was attracted to him, the opportunity was lost. I regret that, it probably would've ended up being a 69. One good thing that came out of that is it started the bisexuality ball rolling.

I regret not manscaping from an earlier age. I doubt I would've done this as a teenager but in my twenties I had a love hate relationship with my pubic hair. I wanted it gone but was too embarrassed to even try it and it took until I was 38 before I did. I was nervous when I did, it would take a long time to grow back, what if I hated it? Once I shaved it all off I then felt embarrassed but it didn't take long for that to fade and I've shaved my cock and balls bare once or twice a week since then. My doctor and a Sonographer have seen my bare cock and it didn't actually phase me. It's quite common. I will never shave my armpits though. I love my armpit hair. I'm proud of it and as you can see, I like showing it off. I see it as part of being a man. I'm weird like that.

I regret not being active on Shy-Bi-Guys when I signed up. I was a lurker. Talking about my sexuality on here has helped immensely. Admitting on the forums that I love cock and are both sexually and romantically attracted to men and women (in that order) makes me feel I'm no longer living a lie. People know, even if they don't actually know me. It makes me feel a part of the LGTBQ community. It makes me feel free and I finally feel normal. Could've happened years ago.

These are the main regrets I have that I feel are related to my sexuality, do you have any?

As a society in general, the term date, along with dating has been so overused, there is no meaning to the word. Dictionaries can define the word, but those definitions are useless today, and have been useless for a long time.


Recently, I joined a "traditional" dating site. I put the word traditional in quotes, because it is your standard dating for serious people looking for long term relationships, yada-yada. It is a paid site. My rational, and reason, being if someone is on the site, that woman is serious about actually meeting a man. Sad part, nothing for actual bisexual dating. Who says I don't want to date men? Just not romantically, which is why I put "traditional" in quotes.


This is where I get into the concept of non-traditional dating. Hook ups, fuck buddies, and booty calls are not really relationships, and would in some sense not fall under the whole concept of dating.


I spent the money for three months on the "traditional" site. After two weeks, only one response from a woman. I keep journals of sorts when I am dating. Thoughts, feelings, any information my future self might find pertinent. So far, things are the same as my past self wrote about. It is a numbers game. This is why I only gave myself three months. After that point, all the women I am interested in have been emailed, and no response means not interested. The women whom responded I have met personally or been stood up, and I have either entered into a relationship or I am still single. At three months the dating sites are not getting enough "new" women joining to be worth the effort to send an email.


Women on the "traditional" dating site have their own ideas, and so I might not fall into what they want. I would say maybe one out of every three women I view conform to my concept of someone I might want to date. Given that I might fall into an even smaller percentage of a woman's concept of what she wants to date, the odds overall are slim for a response. As stated above, I only gave myself three months, because this is where the odds will nose dive into near nothing of getting a response.


One of the things dating sites do is allow people to join for free. "Freeloaders" is the term I use for these people. Really insulting on dating sites where one pays, you can pay for "freeloaders" to contact you. WTF? Dating sites use freeloaders to pump up the numbers. Millions of people have joined our site. Really? How many are freeloaders? Dating sites won't tell you. Because paying people are dumb enough to pay, are they dumb enough to pay more? Maybe? Not me. Been there, done that.


The only time I might pay for a "freeloader" to contact me is if I am on a non-traditional dating site. A hookup site. The concept that someone is not good enough to fuck because they are too cheap to pay is stupid. The person might be serious about sex, but not dating. Follow my thoughts for a moment.


A person on a traditional site is not really serious if that person is not going to pay. If someone is joining a traditional dating site for free and counting on someone else paying, that person is fishing. Fishing for someone gullible and willing to spend money to meet someone. Which translates into spending money to woo and scrape and bow. Sucker.


A person on a non-traditional site whom is not willing to pay might be serious about hooking up, that person is seeing how serious you are willing to hookup. People on hookup sites play different games.


My thoughts at the time of joining a dating site was to join both a traditional site and non-traditional site to see what type of response I get. Paying for freeloaders on the non-traditional site as well. Reality set in, in the world of financial outlay. Granted the money per month is small, but all dating sites make you pay the three months up front for the savings. Now it gets expensive. Joining month to month is much more expensive when you are only giving yourself a certain time frame.


If things do not work out for the traditional dating site within a certain length of time, I have already decided to join a non-traditional site. This time, I will join as a bisexual instead of just heterosexual.


Thoughts and comments welcome, I do not come onto this site as often as I want, so I may not respond promptly.

Sexual labels and definitions are social constructs which unfortunately have a deep impact in our human sexuality. The existing moral divide implanted in our brain between different so called sexual orientations is a clear example of the subject being manipulated by these artificial constructs, among them we find the concepts of heterosexual normality and homosexual deviation. Trying to fit in these two opposite extremes any other sexual manifestation and preferences which may not abide by the accepted social standards is an economic imperative of our current socio-economic environment since the diversity could undermine the accommodating bipolarity of what's good or wrong in sex following the oppressive morality of the moment.


As pure biological entities we belong to one of the rare species in the planet where sex is not just a reproductive instinct but an integral part of our interaction with other human beings. In our case sex is an inseparable mix of need and desire. If we tried to apply our labels and definitions to the other species known to be involved in sexual activities beyond the rigid biological reproductive obligation, we would have to face a gruesome dilemma. They simply ignore our rules and therefore display a wide variety of sexual activities where the same individuals engage with both genders following only temporary and circumstantial factors. Are they then naturally born bisexuals? No, they just don't need any labels. There is no need for them to define themselves within any shade of the sexual spectrum since they may move without distinctions along this same wide spectrum according to the factors mentioned earlier.


Then what happened to us? What makes us different from the bonobo apes or dolphins with respect to our sexuality? If you read The History of Sexuality by Michael Foucault there is an interesting thesis which I believe may explain this awkward situation in which we are now. Sexuality was transformed during the Victorian times into just another instrument of oppression. The elite wanted people to focus on their work, to increase the productivity and thus multiply the profits. Sex was an undesirable distraction and needed to be confined exclusively to the matrimony bedroom and for the unique purpose of reproduction. Nobody should even talk about sex acts in public. This thesis allowed me to understand that sex has been also mixed into the same cauldron of oppressive tools together with religious institutions and bourgeoise morals in order to suppress any manifestation of free will which could affect the productive output of the individual worker.


If we link the History of Sexuality with the previous scientific fact about the open sexual behavior of the other sexually active species, we should arrive to a compelling conclusion that sexual orientation, as it's understood in our current world, is a cynic artificial invention forced into our own state of mind and imprinted in the internal and external projection of our self within the existing socio-economic framework. What we see today as the standard, the so called heterosexual normality, is not a natural phenomenon nor the result of any evolutive process taking place in our social mind. It is simply an artificial creation, a social construct to serve the governing elite in their purpose to extract more profit and to keep the masses submissive and focused exclusively on their work. Only by recognizing this fact, this social construct could be then successfully deconstructed.


Humans like the other sexually active species are born without prejudices or any firm unchangeable sexual preference. With the exception of a truly hormonal distortion which could affect the biological inner self gender and thus making someone to become biologically inclined into following the sexual behavior of the opposite sex, the rest of us are supposed not to follow any preset rules about what we should desire and the way we could obtain personal gratification from sex. We should respond exclusively to the circumstantial and temporary factors mentioned before like availability, compatibility and our own sudden sexual impulses of the instant. The way we decide to engage in sexual activities with someone in specific or with various individuals together from both genders should be an exclusive non judgmental process happening in our brains where we would analyze only those specific circumstantial and temporary factors mentioned above.


In summary, the heterosexual normality is just an invention so deeply imprinted in our mind that we truly believe it is something that most people would follow by instinct while the other forms of sexuality are merely deviation of that norm. Homosexuality situated on the other extreme of the spectrum is trying now to gain social recognition and to establish itself also like an alternative norm for those who claim being born that way. In my opinion there is no point in encapsulating our human sexuality in either of these extremes and a mistake implying that these are natural states of mind defining someone to be born straight or gay. I'm not saying it is a choice because it is not, but we haven't found yet a gene that defines sexual preferences from the moment we were born.


Sexuality should be separated from the rest of our social behaviors because being a biological urge to receive gratification from sex is not a cause for projecting ourselves as representatives of a preset norm of sexual conduct. We should get rid of these internal and external taboos and feel free to experiment with any form of sexuality without having to put a label or fit into a specific definition. Socially we are entities well above the sexual preferences of everyone. Sex is just for our very private entertainment and should never have become a social issue nor a political flag. However, due to the existing conditions, the long term repression of our sexuality, the degradation of homosexuality and the oppression of women, it's understandable and totally necessary to fight for our rights and to get the recognition we deserve as sexual beings no matter what preferences we believe we have. On the other hand, this should not be an obstacle for our own internal liberation from the same taboos and preset norms we are trying to fight at the social level. By first stripping ourselves from the labels and definitions we can then experiment and explore every single way of obtaining sexual gratification and be bound only by the criminal code forbidding non consensual sex, the only restriction which should stay in place inside our minds.


That was supposed to be our true History of Sexuality until the production relationships entered in the equation together with one of the most horrible crime committed by our specie, the oppression of females by the males. This gender oriented power structure in our human society undoubtedly created the imprint in our minds about the superiority of the masculine over the female and therefore the association between authority and virility. Any submissive role taken by a male in sexual interactions was viewed as a lack of virility and therefore socially and mentally diminishing. This together with the requirement to suppress sexuality in general made possible the establishment of the monogamous heterosexual normality and the social degradation of anything outside of that imposed standard.


I'm totally convinced that if we could hypothetically isolated a small group of human babies and follow up from a distance their social evolution focusing exclusively on their sexual behaviour we would be able to witness a large spectrum of preferences these individuals would develop once they had reached their puberty. Under the lack of externally preset norms, we should expect that a great diversity of sexual interactions would be displayed among the subjects without any specific gender preference. Following this line of thoughts in that direction it would be impossible to define one specific set of sexual cannons as innate or the natural outcome. Therefore we should arrive to the conclusion that our normative standards enclosing human sexual behaviour are entirely determined by the dominating type of production relationships and enforced through known tools like the religious morality, the conservative traditionalism and the political and economic existing framework.

I do believe that the origin of the heterosexual normality currently predominant in our modern society was born under the influence of these external non biological factors which we can call social constructs. Meaning that the socio-economic environment is the one that dictates how we as individuals view our own sexuality and forces us to encapsulate our mind in an apparently natural state which defines our so called sexual orientation which must be constantly projected towards our internal self and also outside to the social being that we represent.


Sexual preferences if left alone and outside of the social framework would develop spontaneously and in response to circumstantial and temporary factors, changing and evolving indistinctly and without any moral ranking. In this scenario the use of sexual orientation as a social identifier would be not only superfluous but damaging because as soon as sexuality becomes part of the definition of who we are as social beings, there would be the need to apply the concepts of right and wrong to these interactions and be measured using the same rules of conduct as with the rest of our social behaviors. Therefore we should stay away from any labels or definitions and feel free to search for new ways to expand our own sexual gratification without having all the time to question ourselves if we are gays or straights or bisexuals.

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