We use to meet most days at his house for sex since his parents both worked and it was a good time to be alone that summer of 1976. We were both 15 and America was celebrating turning 200. It was in those days I had recently co e to see and accept my sexuality although my friend had not -he was still in denial about his sexuality despite the things we did. ...and the things we did! Usually, since he was so insistent on separating himself of the reality of the situation (he was horny and just wanted to get his rocks off) it became my roll to be the main participant...the giver of hand jobs and head. Seldom would he reciprocate instead restricting himself to just watching me masturbate to orgasm after first satisfying his needs. I was content. Now 38 years later I look back on those days. It was an interesting exploratory time free of worries of STDs and the nuisance of condoms for anal sex. I consider myself a top but with him in those days it was out of the question...I was the bottom by default on the hand full of times we did that particular act. I took what I could get. Later we drifted apart and he moved away and I got a girlfriend and the homosexual part of me began its long hibernation. Occasionally it would resurface in my thoughts but then it became my turn to be in the denial. Slowly as the years went by-and as I got older that old urge, like a distant drumbeat, grew louder and louder and closer to the surface. Now here I am having to be content with masturbating to gay porn or going to the bath house in a distant city once a year (the last time getting my itch scratched by a late sixty something year old man who jacked me off in the play room to an audience of three or four other elderly men who eagerly watched. It was a slow day in there that day but once again I took what I could get). i wish I had a friend again. One married and safe that I could trust that I could regularly meet up with. I live in hope.
we definitely need to talk.....
A bisex friend is like a haven. You don't need to hazard and risk to get a kick out of fucking. Every move you make is safe and smooth, so no need to worry. I'm glad after being at drift, nowadays I got a couple of friends to have safe sex and trust to them. It's a sad and unsuccessful story, yours, but everyone can change their world thinking possitively and acting truthfully, so you repent nothing anymore.
Wow I know what you mean. I started fooling around with guys when I was... Well lets say young... I wasin hibernation also for the last 20 or so years... Now it's like screaming at me...
Yeah seemed like years ago were easier or at least less complicated with disease and such or maybe just what I experienced. I was broke in so to speak by a friends girlfriend who eventually became his wife. She was into mm and mmf, and we the guys were only into mf but that changed. After looking and chatting for years though nothing has materialized that felt safe.
