it's been a lont time since I signed on here. I miss my old connections and friends from SBG - for some reason I never was able to make the leap here. I guess some things are hard to duplicate. I can't remember the last time since I've been here. But, I will tell you it has been one heck of a year for me. I came out to my family a few years ago and all seemed to be going well with them accepting me - except for one son who was struggling with it. I don't understand why but his feelings about me have been tough - Well, then in June last year my wife came to realize that I was having sex with men and for whatever reason it never dawned on her that this could be something I was doing. Even though she and I had not had sex in several years, she just didn't suspect it. But, when she found my meds and realized one of the meds was the prescription for PReP - she knew and was furious that I would go so far to plan ahead for sex by taking a med to prevent HIV infection. I really had to laugh about that- which didn't go over real well - but I thought it was ironic that it was smart for a female to take a pill to prevent pregnancy, but it was nasty and perverted for me to take a pill to protect myself from a deadly disease. but we move on from that day - the next day my adult children confronted me after my wife decided they should know I had been cheating on her - that was a pleasant experience, too. A few days later, my wife announced she wanted a divorce and had removed her wedding rings... but time moved us on and we are still together - without wedding rings - and living in the same house - as roommates more than spouses. I have a sense of freedom in that there are no more secrets - but I also don't know where we will end up or what the future holds - nobody does these days, so I just keep putting myself through the motions of life.
Wow! That's a story! I am so glad I found you again. You are definitely one of the people I have missed since shy bi guys shut down. I am driving home at the moment. So this will be brief. Gamountainman and I were together 22 months officially. It was awesome. Best sex ever (wives know about the oral, but do not know about the anal). He told me he wanted to end it last Tuesday because of all the stress in his life right now. Mental health issues and marital problems. So, we did. His wife could not deal with the fact that I could give him something she couldn't and that we had an emotional connection and loved each other. She wanted to be his "everything". I have no idea where the absurd idea that one person is supposed to supply the entire psychological, social, and emotional needs of another person. Ridiculous if you think about it. You should be a complete person already BEFORE you get married. I will tell you more later when I can.
What is the best way to reach you? Are you on another site that is better?
Welcome back, Papa! Sorry to hear that things have gone the way they did. Keep your head up! BiSatyr, the implied thing about being married is that both people are supposed to be everything they will both ever need for the rest of whatever. On paper, this sounds right and proper but in reality? It's impossible and more so when you never know when one or the other is going to have a need that cannot be taken care of between themselves. And even when that need becomes visible, well, the rules say that the only way you're gonna get that need taken care of is to get a divorce. Women get very pissy about things. They stop having sex with us, stop being intimate in other ways with us and if we say anything about it, we can get our heads bitten off... and if we do something about it - like get into sucking dicks - then we're the ones who are wrong and they usually will not accept any blame in this. There is no way for someone to be a complete person before they get married because people change over time and for various reasons. Such a statement implies that a person, before they marry, are already all that they're ever going to be and they'll never be more than what they are at that point... and that, too, is impossible because, again, people change and in ways that being married doesn't allow for.
Once again, I found myself out of the loop here - and I am not sure any of you ShiBi-guys are even around anymore... I see a couple names still active, but my memory is even fading a bit from so many years ago - and what we once shared. I know it was good - so, if you are still interested - read on. It's interesting to read the post I made here and know what's been happening since. I'd just like to say that my endurance through these months is pretty good. I've endured a lot of shaming from my adult children and a distancing from my wife - yet, my wife and I are still living in the same house - although we are living as separately as two people can be. I have a separate bedroom from her, and she actually lives in a secluded "in-law" apartment that I built for my mother back in 2000. So, she is content there - coming and going as she pleases, and I do the same. Last fall I met a nice man and we hit it off - I actually failed to do what I tell other guys to do - and that is - I failed to guard my heart, and I fell in love with him, and I believed the things he promised me. It's not his fault, completely... But, he was also married, too, and it came about finally, after almost a year, that he just was not able to fully let go of his marriage or admit that he could live openly in a partnership with me. Honestly, I understand - because if you'd told me 10 years ago that I would consider such an arrangement, I wouldn't have believed it either. So, we ended up splitting and going our separate ways. It broke my heart, But, I had to let him go. For several months, I was sure my marriage would end. My wife has been threatening me with divorce for a few years now. We are married on paper only now. We share our family and we get along. In every other way, financially and emotionally, we live apart. Eventually, I think, when we retire and decide it's time to downsize, we will move on and live separately (in separate houses), but for now - she cooks for me a few times a week and I do her laundry. And we look out for one another. Some of her friends have advised her to drop me and put me out like trash. But, it's interesting... as time has passed, things have settled down, and she has come to see that I am the same guy I always was - but now, she sees me a little more clearly - with all the blemishes and scars - and one other thing, very important - finally, now, so much of my restless spirit that has driven me, has calmed down. I am more content now. I am at peace with myself. I'd be a fool if I said I don't have regrets - I sure do - but some things can't be changed - and some things make us who we are, so ultimately, there's no need to get too caught up in all of that.
It's sounds like you're in a better place Papa and that is good to hear
