Originally Posted by DiamondDog
BDSM/Kink are a lot more than just simply dressing up in leather and parading around in it, or trying to "pass" in leather/uniform.
Some of the kinkiest people I know aren't into leather at all and don't wear it or have any leather clothing or uniform drag.
It's all about a state of mind, giving sensation, taking sensation, and exploring mindstates through control, surrender, and about exploring fantasy. You can do all of this verbally if you are a good Top/Dom/Master.
Also a good Top/Dom/Master has subbed before and knows what the other role is like.
BDSM and kink also are not like abuse at all and if someone really is into BDSM they'll use a safeword, do negociations, won't push you WAY past your limit, will communicate very well, and it's not about someone doing things that would be considered assault or illegal.
I wouldn't say that BDSM/kink dehumanise sex or anything like that, despite what you hear about it in the media or read about it in John Rechy novels.
Even if some people are into sex/kink/BDSM that's well animalistic and some sex/BDSM/kink where there's human role play of an animal like puppy play or pig/pony play. People might be imitating animals but they're still people and the knowledge that they're two or more humans having sex or doing BDSM/kink never completely goes away.